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411’s WWE Velocity Report 04.01.06

April 2, 2006 | Posted by Scott Fried

The Gymini versus London and Kendrick

Spanky starts off with one of the boys, we’ll say Stone Cold. Austin shoves him down, but Spanky comes back with a kick and a sunset flip. Kick to the guy by Spanky, and London kicks Stone Cold against the rope. Tag to London who comes in with a series of kicks. He lands a back elbow, then a springing crossbody, but Austin catches him and drops to his knees. Tag to Goldberg, who hits knee shots, then a pancake for two. Repeated elbow drops by Da Man, who then grabs a waistlock on the mat. London fights up and out, but Goldberg sends him chest first to the corner. Simon Dean blows the whistle at ringside, meanwhile. Tag back to Austin, who gets a clubbing blow and a few kneeshots. Cover gets two. Austin grabs a chinlock, then throws some knees into London’s back. Double underhook suplex, then the tag to Goldberg. He grabs London around the chest. London gets up, but gets thrown to the corner. Ironically, Goldberg stomps a mudhole in him. London tries to fight back against both guys, but the tag is made and they hit the double pancake. Spanky saves at two. London hits a hurricanrana-ish move out of nowhere, and both men are down. Tags on both sides, and Spanky comes in with a springboard missile dropkick. Leg lariats all around, and Spanky hits a running knee lift. Sliced Bread #2 on Goldberg, but the referee doesn’t see the cover. When he finally does, the kickout occurs at two. Simon Dean makes a distraction, allowing Austin and Goldberg to hit the big Throw Up Slam for the win.

Winners: The Gymini
Match Time: 6:51
Rating: **1/2
Commentary: I understand that The Gymini are bigger than London and Kendrick. Really, I do. But seeing as how the cruisers have been having some great house show matches against MNM and could feasibly be the next challengers to the tag titles, would it have hurt to have given them a win here?

Orlando Jordan versus Ace Steele

Been a long time for OJ. Even longer for Ace Steele. Lockup, and Jordan gets a headlock. He gets shoved off, but comes back with a shoulder. Another lockup, and Jordan backs Steele into the corner and hits him with a knee shot. Jordan whips Steele across the ring, but Steele dodges a charge and hits two armdrags. He gets a wristlock as the announcers speculate that Undertaker will win tonight. Well, anything can happen in WWE. Jordan throws Steele over the top, but Steele catches the ropes. He tries to get back in, but Jordan stays on him with stomps. Jordan shoves him to the corner, then gets a gutbuster. Bearhug by Jordan. Ace escapes and hits a back elbow for two. Running head kick in the corner by Steele, but Jordan hits a big spinebuster. Flatliner follows and finishes.

Winner: Orlando Jordan
Match Time: 3:52
Rating: **1/4
Commentary: Not bad for such a short affair. Jordan is constantly improving and becoming good at working WWE style, and Steele was a solid hand here.

Vito complains to Nunzio about not getting respect in a letterboxed segment. Nunzio pep talks him by telling him about The Godfather video game. Vito wants to play, but he has a match first.

On Smackdown, Kurt Angle beat Rey Mysterio. Not tonight, hopefully!

Funaki versus Vito

Vito pinned Misawa, guys. MISAWA! He can beat Funaki or any other Velocity mainstay thrown at him! Circling to start, then a lockup. Vito backs Funaki into the corner and hits a few knee shots. Vito gets a couple of clubbing blows, then grabs a headlock. Funaki shoots him off, Vito comes back with a shoulder. Funaki gets a hiptoss, armdrag, then a dropkick. He grabs a wristlock, then nails an elbow shot. Vito tries to roll Funaki off, but Funaki keeps the hold. Vito gets up and whips him across the ring. Funaki jumps over a charge, but Vito hits a hard punch to the head and follows up with several more from a seated position. Vito gets a big clothesline for two. Vito gets a suplex, then a legdrop out of the corner for two. Chinlock by Vito. Funaki escapes, but Vito hits a kitchen sink. Vito goes back to the chinlock. Funaki escapes, but Vito gets the bodyslam. Funaki avoids a Vader Bomb, then hits a side kick. Funaki gets punches, then an inverted atomic drop. He follows up with a clothesline, then gets a backdrop. Bulldog, then a setup for the Rising Sun. Vito throws him off, then hits the Big Vito Special for the win.

Winner: Vito
Match Time: 5:38
Rating: **1/4
Commentary: A little bland, but both guys had their WrestleMania matches to worry about, so it makes sense.

That’s it, folks. Enjoy the big one!

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