411’s WWE Velocity Report: 04.15.06

Simon Dean versus Gunner Scott

Dean’s got a new neon green suit going on. And is that a “GUNNER SCOTT” chant?!? Dean gets a waistlock, Scott gets a drop toe hold and grabs his own waistlock. Dean gets to the ropes, drawing the break. Scott grabs a hammerlock. Dean reverses, but Scott runs him out of the ring. Scott pulls him back up by the hair, but Dean hits a shoulder to the gut. Scott kicks him back, then gets a fireman’s carry, drop toe hold, and magistral cradle for two. Backslide gets two. Dean gets to the ropes, then kicks Scott in the gut. He shoots Scott to the corner, then nails an elbow drop from the second rope for two. Dean works him over with punches and whatnot, then goes for an abdominal stretch. Scott reverses to a rollup for two, but Dean grabs a chinlock. Scott gets up and out, then goes for a sunset flip. Dean avoids, then hits the curb stomp for two. Dean misses an elbow and Scott goes to work with punches. He gets a running back elbow, then a clothesline. Whip to the corner and another clothesline. Dean reverses a whip but gets caught with an overhead belly to belly suplex for the win.

Winner: Gunner Scott
Match Time: 4:53
Rating: ***
Commentary: Good match. Scott seems solid, if unspectacular. Also, he has a shitty finisher, because honestly, I’ve never seen anybody throw an overhead belly to belly as nicely as Kurt Angle does.

The Miz is coming. Thanks for the warning.

Orlando Jordan versus Adrian Lynch

Jordan is distracted by an anti-him chant as the match opens. Lockup, and Lynch gets a wristlock. Jordan reverses to a hammerlock, then grabs a headlock. He goes to a waistlock and takes Lynch down, but Lynch gets to the ropes. Lynch gets up and gets a headlock. Jordan shoots him off, but Lynch comes back and reverses a hiptoss. Lynch gets two armdrags, but OJ fights back with a clothesline. Jordan gets some stomps, then a swinging neckbreaker. Elbow drop, then a chinlock. Lynch fights out and runs to the ropes, but Jordan catches him with a kitchen sink. Jordan grabs the chinlock again. Lynch gets up and out, then gets a rollup. Jordan gets out before the count and hits a boot. Crossface punches by Jordan, then a spinebuster. The Fameasser finishes.

Winner: Orlando Jordan
Match Time: 3:54
Rating: **1/2
Commentary: Decent squash. Jordan truly is the king of stolen finishers.

Vito versus Chris Guy

Pre-match, Vito cuts a good promo, calling himself “the paisan who’s got it going on.” He says he’s coming after the guys at the top, which makes sense, since he’s beaten Misawa. He slugs Guy down mid promo, then beats away on him. Vito grabs a chinlock, wrenching it, then drops with it to the mat. Take notes, Randy. He flings Guy down, then gets a running legdrop. Vito covers for two. Back to the chinlock. Guy gets up and elbows away, then gets a rollup for two. Vito hits the Mafia Kick, then finishes with the Big Vito Special.

Winner: Vito
Match Time: 2:00
Rating: **
Commentary: Good in that it was effective. Vito was made to look really strong. Quite frankly, he’s good enough in the ring and on the mic, unless the attitude problems are really bad, I don’t see why he shouldn’t get more exposure.

On Smackdown, Kurt Angle advanced in the King of the Ring tournament. He broke Randy Orton’s ankle, too. This comes only a week after Orton’s suspension for killing all of the Juniors.

Kid Kash and Jamie Noble versus Funaki and Scotty 2 Hotty

The rematch. Scotty and Noble start out circling, then lock up. Noble gets a snapmare. Noble gets a hammerlock, then takes Scotty to the mat. He celebrates after every show of fundamental prowess. He slaps Scotty, then kicks him in the gut. Scotty fights back, slamming Noble’s head to the corner repeatedly. Tag to Kash, who gets taken over with a hiptoss. Funaki comes in with a double axe handle to the arm. Kash slugs him down and tags Noble. Noble chops Funaki, but Funaki comes back with a kick. Tag to Scotty, who gets dropkicks all around. Worm bulldog is attempted on the opposite camera side, but no dice. Scotty goes out, and Kash slams his arm on the steel steps. Noble stomps on the arm, then hits it repeatedly. Tag to Kash, who kicks Scotty in the stomach, then takes him down and wrenches the arm. Scotty fights back with punches, but Kash halts his offense and whips him to the corner. Kash charges, but Scotty dodges. Tag to Funaki, who gets a slingshot press on Kash and takes out both guys. Enziguri on Kash, bulldog on Noble. He goes for the Rising Sun on Kash, but gets thrown off. Scotty hits Noble with a flying forearm. Funaki rolls Kash up, but Noble hits him with a leg lariat. Scotty takes Noble out with a superkick, but Kash throws Scotty out. Funaki goes for a backslide, but Kash gets out at two. Kash hits the Dead Level, and that’s all.

Winners: Kid Kash and Jamie Noble
Match Time: 6:03
Rating: ***
Commentary: Same stuff we usually see from these guys, just abbreviated a little.