411’s WWE Velocity Report: 07.16.05

That’s right, folks. After two weeks of contrived recap shows involving everything from Torrie Wilson photo shoots to the fake Undertaker, we’re back to the regular format of Velocity! Let’s see if it was as great as we remembered…

The show opens with Josh Mathews interviewing Frankie Kazarian. He’s the future, the future is now.

Nunzio versus Frankie Kazarian

Nunzio gets a waistlock and wrestles Kazarian to the mat. Kazarian grabs a waistlock, but Nunzio gets a standing switch. Kazarian backs Nunzio into the corner, then hits a cheap shot and an armdrag. Nunzio retaliates with a dropkick, then knocks Kazarian out of the ring. Back in, Nunzio slams the leg, then applies an armlock. Kazarian tries to turn the tide with a tilt-a-whirl slam, but Nunzio grabs another armlock. Kazarian escapes into the corner, then dodges a splash and hits a headwringer. He re-enters with an over-the-rope legdrop, then dropkicks Nunzio in the corner and applies a neck vise. Nunzio gets out and tries a backslide, but ends up with a rollup for two. Kazarian launches a dropkick, then slaps on a chinlock until Nunzio escapes. Nunzio reverses a neckbreaker into one of his own. Nunzio ducks some punches, then hits a backdrop and two clotheslines. A side slam by Nunzio gets two. Nunzio hits the Arrivederci, but Kazarian kicks out. Kazarian dodges the Sicilian Slice, then gets a twisting Fisherman’s Suplex for the win.

Winner: Frankie Kazarian
Match Time: 4:56
Rating: **3/4
Commentary: A little too one sided for my liking, but the action was there. Kept a quick pace, which, of course, is important for a five minute match.

Kazarian takes the microphone, and tells everybody that that’s why he’s called Bender the Magnificent… I mean, the Future.

Simon Dean versus Mike Kruel

Hey, it’s Kruel! Pre-match, Dean cuts a promo about how he’s taking over… nah, he’s complaining about fat people. He wants Kruel to eat his bar- yum, yum. Kruel knocks the bar out of Dean’s hand, then gets slapped. Kruel dodges a corner charge, then takes an elbow from Kruel. Dean turns the tide with an S.T.O., then kicks away. Dean rams his shoulder into Kruel in the corner, but gets rolled up for two. Dean kicks Kruel in the head, then chokes him a bit. Dean applies a sort of surfboard-Indian deathlock hold into the Curb Stomp, then puts on a chinlock. Kruel elbows out, hits an atomic drop, and follows with a dropkick. Dean reclaims the advantage with a clothesline, then hits the Simonizer for the win. Post match, he feeds Kruel the bar.

Winner: Simon Dean
Match Time: 3:32
Rating: **3/4
Commentary: Not as polished as the previous match, but more back and forth action added to my enjoyment.

A replay of the Batista-JBL feud is shown, purely for our education. Then, we see highlights of the Batista-Orlando Jordan match.

William Regal versus Chris Benoit

Circling to start, and the two lock up. Benoit backs Regal into the corner, and jabs are traded. Another lockup, and Regal gets a headlock. Benoit escapes, applying a top wristlock. Regal goes for a hammerlock, but Benoit gets a regular wristlock. Regal rolls out of it, then snapmares Benoit, but Benoit gets a hammerlock on the mat. Regal gets up and reverses into a front facelock, but Benoit wrings him down to the mat by his arm as we go to a commercial. When we get back, Regal and Benoit are in a test of strength, with Benoit getting bridged back against the canvas. Regal knees him in the gut, but Benoit keeps the bridge. He gets up, then forces Regal into a bridge. Regal goes down, then kicks Benoit in the head. Nevertheless, Benoit doesn’t break the hold. Regal gets back up and headbutts are traded, with Benoit’s drawing blood from Regal. Benoit takes Regal down and punches away at him. Back up Regal goes for a full nelson. Benoit reverses into one of his own, but Regal blocks it by grabbing his leg. Regal reverses, but Benoit reverses again and hits a Dragon Suplex. Back up, he backs Regal into the corner and chops Regal’s head. Benoit drives his knee into Regal, then rakes his forehead and attacks it with his knee. Benoit hits a release German Suplex, and both men are down. Both get up, and Regal hits his running knee to Benoit’s head for two. Regal covers four more times without scoring a pin, then applies a shoulder lock. Benoit escapes, but Regal attempts the Regal Stretch. However, Benoit grabs the ropes before Regal can hook his head. Benoit gets to the corner, and Regal hits a high kick. He applies a Crossface Chicken Wing, taking Benoit down to a knee. Regal then applies a surfboard, finally grabbing and hooking Benoit’s head. Benoit breaks the hold with a couple of elbows, and we go to another commercial. When we get back, Regal gets a schoolboy roll-up for two. Regal follows with a backslide for two. Benoit takes Regal down and applies the Sharpshooter, but after a while, Regal manages to get to the bottom rope. Back up, Regal kicks away at Benoit, hits a snapmare, and kicks him in the chest for two. Regal applies a side chinlock, then elbows Benoit in the face. Regal attempts a Butterfly Suplex, but Benoit counters with a backdrop. From his position on the mat, Regal hooks Benoit’s arms. Both men get up, and after a few knees, Regal hits the Butterfly. Regal only gets two, so he covers another four times. Regal hits a standing dropkick for two. He lifts Benoit for a Tombstone, but Benoit reverses into a shoulderbreaker. He slaps on the Crossface, to which Regal taps quickly.

Winner: Chris Benoit
Match Time: 18:57 (including commercials)
Rating: ****
Commentary: Great, great match, really. Not that that’s a surprise, considering the talent level involved, but that sort of thing is always appreciated. I’m really loving Benoit; he’s probably my favorite wrestler these days.

That’s all for this week, folks. Velocity really knocked it out of the park.

Next week: Holly versus Heidenreich, the Ultimate Battle!