wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s AEW Dark Review 5.26.20
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Welcome back to all of the lovely readers here at 411. I’m pantless with a beer, so let’s watch some wrasslin.
Tazz wants to inform us that he will not get into any specifics or details of his relationship with Brian Cage. So there’s that.
Match 1: John Silver and Alex Reynolds vs Natural Nightmares
QT and Reynolds to start. Reynolds works the left arm. QT flips out of it, works the arm, tags in his partner, and they double team Reynolds, dropping him on his head. Alex with a high knee to Dustin. Deep arm drag from Dustin. He sends the shoulder into the corner. Uppercut from Dustin. He works the arm, tags in QT, high knee from Dustin, and QT flips and squashes Alex.
In the stands is some hot blonde eating an apple.
QT trucks Alex and hits another shoulder tackle. He heads to the top rope and flies off the corner with an axe handle. QT heads to the outside to stare at the blonde. Brandi tries to regain his focus. Silver flies off the apron with a hard right hand. He sends QT back into the ring and covers for 1..2..NO!!! Whip from QT who misses a clothesline and gets hit with an uppercut. Cover but he gets nothing. Tag from Ale and he starts with the stomps. Snapmare to QT and a crossface from Alex. Right hand from QT. Another. Alex with a short clothesline and a cover for 1…2…NO! Alex sends QT to the corner and tags in Silver. QT fights out with some rights, gets sent to the ropes. Alex shoots him up and Silver with an uppercut on his way down. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Silver with a kick to the chest. Another to the chest. He’s no DB. QT catches the leg and tosses him over the top of the head. Tag to Alex. Reynolds comes in to stop the tag, but it’s short lived as he gets one anyway. Clothesline. Another. Whip to the ropes, reverse, drop and an uppercut from Dustin. Right hand to Silver. Inverted Atomic and a bulldog from Dustin. Silver in. Powerslam to Silver.
Alex up to hit a knee. Right hand from Alex, Canadian Destroyer out of nowhere. QT with a Diamond Cutter and a pin for 1..2…3!
Winners: The Natural Nightmares
An average match that had a slow start. Silver shows some spunk. I don’t know who Allie is, but damn she is hot.
Total Rating: *1/2
Match Time: 5:23
Match 2: Brandon Cutler vs Michael Nakazawa
Lockup into a side headlock. Go behind from Cutler. Michael pulls some baby oil out of his trunks. The ref grabs it and tosses it. Michael has another bottle. Cutler tosses it into the crowd. A rollup from Michael for 1..2..NO!!!! Rollup from Cutler for 1…2..NO!!! Another pin from Michael for 1..2..NO!!!! Rope work and Cutler lands on the apron and flies with a forearm. Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Cutler works the left arm. Side Russian Leg Sweep. Cutler hits the ropes, springs off with an elbow and a pin for 1..2…NO!!! Cutler with a right hand to the face. Another to the face. Another. Rights from Nakazawa, he hits the ropes, ducks under a clothesline, and hits a spear! Cutler gets up in the corner. Micheal rushes, Cutler hops over the ropes onto the apron. Kick. Another to the face. Pin for 1..2…NO!!! Cutler grabs the right arm, he locks the head. Michael drops to a knee and attacks the midsection, then shoves Cutler away. He checks for more oil, but Cutler grabs him and hits a suplex. Pin for 1..2..NO!!!! Right hands from Cutler as Tazz makes jokes about Michael’s trunks being ripped. Pretty funny. Nak withcohps in the corner. Cutler reverses and hits some chops. Right hand to Nak. He hits some shoulders in the corner. Whip to Cutler. Cutler is bleeding from the top right of the head. Kick from Cutler. Again. More. Cutler to the top rope, and he hits a diving senton for 1…2…NO!!! Cutler realizes he’s bleeding. He grabs Nak and gets a Fireman’s. Torture Rack and he works it, then sends Nakazawa over the top rope to the ramp. Body slam onto the steps. Cutler enters the ring and asks for the countout to start. Springboard elbow to the back of Nakazawa! Nakazawa rolls down the steps. Cutler grabs him and hits a body slam to the floor outside. Cutler shows frustration at the count of eight.
Cutler goes for another body slam, but Nakazawa shoves him into the barricade at 9. Michael rolls into the ring. Ref hits the 10! Cutler loses!
Winner: Michael Nakazawa via Countout
Cutler did alright in winning me over. Haven’t seen much of him at all. This started off as an indy-lite special and turned into a pretty solid affair.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 6:36
Peter Avalon, my boy!!! He’s here to gloat and laugh at Cutler. He calls him the worst wrestler in AEW.
Cutler grabs the mic, says no, he may be The Librarian, but Cutler can read him like a book. Avalon is afraid Cutler’s going to get a win before Peter, and Peter will be the worst wrestler in AEW.
Peter is next. Cutler is going to join them.
Match 3: Peter Avalon vs Jungle Boy
Pretty sure I’ve seen this match at Bar Wrestling at one point or another.
Lockup and Jungle Boy works the arm. Peter rolls out and gets his own with a hammerlock. Jungle leaps up and out then chops the chest. He works the arm. Peter with a right hand to the face. Side headlock from Peter. Rope work and Peter rolls forward as Boy kips up. Side headlock takedown but Peter with a head scissors. Boy flips out and gets a waist lock. Peter gets hurricanranad then Jungle cohps and sends Peter flying with an arm drag. Dropkick from Jungle Boy. Peter heads to the outside. Jungle Boy is about to dive, but Peter ain’t havin it. He runs into Luchasauras, and Mark Stunt is there to do the floss. Here comes Jungle to shove him. Bates gets in between all the men, tells them to stop. Peter takes advantage and sends Jungle Boy into the post. He sends Jungle into the ring then follows and pins for 1…NO! Knee to the face. Another knee from Peter. Suplex from Peter. Beautiful. Cover for 1..2.NO! Peter grabs the hair. Jungle Boy tries to break it with a right. Right hand from Peter. He attacks the mid-section. Peter misses a splash in the corner. Rollup for 1..2..NO!!! Another cover from Jungle Boy for 1..2..NO!!! Leg Lariat out of nowhere from Peter! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Peter with a submission! He locks in a leg scissors from above. Jungle Boy gets to the ropes. The ref breaks the hold. Peter with a kick to the back of the neck. Some stomps in the corner and a choke with the boot. Peter yells at Lucha then gets kicked out of the corner. Another kick. Chops from Jungle Boy. Peter with a kick body slam! Peter to the top rope. He flies! Avalon misses!!! Jungle Boy moved! Back ellow, front elbow, an uppercut in the middle of the ring, all from Jungle Boy. Clothesline to Peter. Fireman’s, but Peter dorps and hits a pump kick. He goes for a suplex, Jungle Boy lands on the apron. Shoulder, he bounces off the middle rope into a DDT and a cover for 1..2…NO!!!Jungle Boy grabs the elgs and Peter grabs the hair for an inside cradle!!! Avalon gets Jungle Boy on the shoulders and spins him to drop! Flatliner! Martiknees, as per Excalibur! Pin for 1…2….NO!!!! Leva Bates is on the apron. She hands over a book. Jungle Boy with a waist lock. Peter turns this into a surprise pin for 1..2..NO!!! Lucha gets Leva off the apron onto her shoulders. Marko gets in between her and the ropes and kisses her.
Peter is upset. He is sent into the ropes, Jungle Boy reverses. Locks the knees up. He locks in the SGS!
Winner: Jungle Boy
Nice to finally be able to watch Peter on TV. I’m biased cuz I’ve seen this guy countless times, but the match was everything it needed to be, and they’re making a losing streak storyline interesting.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 7:33
Every year that passes, Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian look more and more alike.
Match 4: Serpentico vs Christopher Daniels
Lockup and Serpentico works the left arm. Wrist lock and Daniels takes him down with a drop toe hold. Side headlock into a wrist lock and Daniels drops Serpentico to his knees. Serpentico flips out of the wrist hold and gets his own. Daniels with a headlock into a takedown, but Serpentico with a leg scissors. Daniels escapes, stands, and gets right back into a headlock. Tackle from Serpentico, he hits the ropes, arm drag from Daniels. He works the left arm again, Serpentico stands into it and sends Daniels to the ropes. Arm drag from Daniels. Serpentico elbows out. Knee strike. Right in the corner. He hops over, hits the reops, and Daniels hits a leg lariat! Right hand, whip to the ropes, back body drop to Serpentico! Daniels hooks the arm, exploder type suplex. High Collar Tazzplex, as Tazz says. Shoulders in the corner from Serpentico. Hard hit from Serpentico. Whip to the ropes is reversed and Daniels gets sent to the corner chest first. Daniels drops. Serpentico hops over the top rope, hops back over with a hard stomp. Pin for 1…2..NO!!! Right hand from Serpentico. Chop to the chest of Daniels. Whip to the ropes, Serpentico bends over, and Daniels takes advantage with an STO. Right hands, whip, tilt-a-whirl into a back breaker.
A chokeslam sends Serpentico down hard. The Best Moonsault Ever and a pin for 1..2….3!!!
Winner: Christopher Daniels
An interesting little sprint to keep the show rolling.
Total Rating: **1/2. 44:37
Match Time: 4:21
Y’all, Sonny got cake.
Match 5: John Skyler and Brady Pierce vs Sonny Kiss and Joey Janela
Kiss and Pierce to start. Lockup and Sonny gets backed to the corner. Brady misses a right, but Sonny gets a hard one. Brady hops out of the corner and gets kicked in the gut. Running boot to the face. Sonny works the left arm. Tag to Joey. Joey to the top rope. He drops an axe on the wrist. Brady tries for a tag. Joey gets hit with a right, hits the ropes, back elbow. He hits the ropes and elbow drops onto Pierce. Joey gets the wink from Sonny. Right hand from Joey, he hits the ropes, and Skyler hits him with a shocking knee. Joey goes on the attack, leaves Pierce laid up on the corner. Sonny flips with an axe kick. Sick. Tag to Joey, who gets a go behind, roll up, but Skyler with a tag. He dives in and drops Joey with rights. Skyler backs up and tags in Pierce who whips Joey into the corner, then whips Skyler into th corner. Gold Boots hits the corner then a big boot to the face of Joey! Pierce heads t ot he 2nd rope, goes for a moonsault, but Joey moves. One could argue Joey wasn’t even in position for that to begin with. Joey is up, runs and dives, an gets a tag. Tag to Skyler. Sonny slides underneath, hits a dropkick into a flip then an elbo. Kick to Skyler. Sonny to th 2nd rope, dives and hits a hurricanrana. He hops up off the back and leg drops the neck then covers for 1..2…NO!!!! Pierce is in to stop it. He gets sent to the outside. Sonny tags in AEW. Sonny hits the roeps, dives over the top rope, gets sent back in, slides though the ropes with a kick, then he split legs on the 2nd rope and Joey dives between them! Sonny grabs Skyler. KISS MY SASS! Joey with a right hand to the face. Joey to the top rope. Sonny dives off the top to the outside. Flying Elbow drop! Pin for 1..2…3!!!
Winners: Sonny Kiss and Joey Janela
Sonny was great, and Joey was Joey. But those gold boots Pierce had one…they are the true winners.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 4:52
I don’t want to judge a wrestler by its cover, but these two guys are…the jobbiest of jobbers! The stench is high with Andre and Donati.
Before the match can fully start, Havoc attacks both!
Match 6: Faboo Andre and Tony Donati vs Kip Sabian and Jimmy Havoc
The bell rings and Havoc chops Andre in the corner then bites his face. Havoc with a right hand. Tag to Sabian. He enters and has a chat with Jimmy, which is a distraction enough for Andre to dropkick Sabian. Jimmy tags himself back in immediately. He locks Andre up on the ropes and hits a chop. Wrist lock. Whip to theropes, misses a right, another right missed, and Andre steps up with a head scissors. He rushes the corner, stands upside down, Havoc doesn’t realize it. Crossbody but Havoc gets the kid back into the corner and hits a right hand. Splash attempt from Jimmy, but Andre moves. He then gets tripped by Kip. Tag to Sabian. He enters. Kick to the gut in the corner. Stomps until Knox says that’s enough. He gets in the face of Donati as Havoc chokes up Andre. Tag to Jimmy who grabs the ponytail. Havoc with another bite to the forehead. He sends Andre to the outside. Knox talks to Jimmy as, on the outside, Penelope attacks with some stomps and rights. Havoc heads outside nad sends Andre back in the ring. Tag to Kip who comes in to whip Andre, lift up for an Inverted, and Havoc runs with a boot to the face. Sabian with a pin for 1..2..NO!!! Kip with a right hand. Tag to Jimmy. Snapmare and he Jimmy holds the head. Kip runs and kicks the head off of Andre. Wide Right says Knox. Kick to the back of Andre. Havoc covers for 1..2…NO!!! Havoc uses the hair to choke up Andre. Andre is bleeding a bit on the forehead, and they blame the bite. Big right elbow, goes for a Rainmaker. Sabian with a blind tag as Andre sends himi not the corner. Donati with a tag!!! He comes in…and gets a kick to the gut. Right hands from Donati. Whip and reverse, GERMAN from Tony! Donati locks the head, turns out of it, hooks the arm and suplexes Sabian down onto the arm. Donati looks to tag, but Andre is off the apron. Kip with a twisting neckbreaker off the ropes. Tag to Havoc. Tony can’t get a tag, no one is there. He hits an elbow, heads to the top rope. Havoc with an uppercut. Death Valley Driver. Tag to Kip. Diving stomp to the chest. Tag.
Kip runs and knocks Andre off the apron. Havoc with a Michinoku Driver/Dropkick combo and a pin for 1…2…3!!!
Winners: Jimmy Havoc and Kip Sabian
Jobbers gonna job.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 5:58
Match 7: Wardlow vs Grimm
MJF is texting on the apron. Wardlow lifts Grimm like nothing and drops his ass. Wardlow slaps Grimm around a bit, kicking the arm. Grimm fights back, but Wardlow gets him in the corner. Shoulder to the gut. Uppercut from Wardlow. Stomps to Grimm. Boot to the chest. Wardlow slaps the back of the head. Grimm with a right. Wardlow with a right to the back of the neck. Shoulder in the corner. Uppercut to Grimm. Wardlow sends Grimm into the corner. Wardlow goes for a shoulder, Grimm rolls out of the way. Splash in the corner. Wardlow shoves. Back elbow to the corner. He tries to toss Wardlow, but Wardlow is too strong. He sends Grimm to the ropes, Grimm springboards, but Wardlow catches with a waistlock. German! MJF says to wrap it up. Wardlow drops the straps. He grabs Grimm’s head and lifts into a fireman’s. Grimm drops, heads to the corner, but Wardlow moves, hits a spear, drives some shoulders, then sits Grimm on the top rope. Thumbs down from MJF.
Wardlow lifts Grimm with a claw, and Grimm drops face first into a knee. Grimm is out and the ref calls for the bell.
Winner: Wardlow
A big man beating a big man with a big knee for some big props. Good shit.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 2:58
Wardlow isn’t done. He grabs Grimm. F10!!!
Match 8: Colt Cabana vs Lee Johnson
Lock-NO! Colt takes the arm and works it a bit. Lee drops then kips up and Colt snapmares him down. Kip up and Lee rolls out. Colt with an arm drag and Lee crawls to the corner. Lee claps in applause. Lee with the go behind. Colt is all smiles. He trips Lee up with a boot. Colt to the corner, hops up and off, then whips to the corner. Lee over the top. Colt lifts his leg to kick, Lee catches, Colt drops his other leg down and rolls Lee into a cover for 1..2…NO!!! Colt waits for him to stand. Colt taunts him with an ass smack. Test of Strength, Colt gets one hand down to the mat and steps on it. He works Lee’s arm behind, pulling on the fingers. Colt works the fingers from behind, Lee tries to turn into it, but Colt with a Cabana, pin for 1..2..NO!!! Colt rolls it for a 1..2..NO!!! Boot, and Lee grabs it, another pin! 1..2….NO!!! Cohp from Lee. Colt is shocked. He is still all smiles. He hits the ropes, Lee with another chop. Colt no-sells it. Lee sends Colt to the corner, he misses a right hand. Hard chop from Colt. Whip to Lee, Lee cuts it short, Lee hops over, dropkick to the face form Lee! He turns, Colt rolls forward, Lee dives to the corner,
Colt with a Flying Apple. Elbow to the top of the head. Right hands to the face, Colt spins and drops an elbow. Colt grabs the legs. BILLY GOAT’S CURSE! LEE SUBMITS!
Winner: Colt Cabana
Billy Goat’s Squash
Total Rating: **
Colt shakes the hand of Lee afterwards.
Tonight is KyLinn’s AEW debut. She’s from Ohio. Let’s hope she’s more Alexa, and less Dana Brooke.
Match 9: Kilynn King vs Penelope Ford
Penelop removes her ring before fighting. Lockup and King gets the wrist lock. Hammerlock. She works the hold a bit, but Ford spins out of it. King revrses, go behind. Ford squats out of it and locks her own. King does the same, but Ford hits an elbow. King hits the ropes and trucks Ford down. King goes for a suplex, stalls a bit, and drops her down hard. Cover for 1..2…N!O!! Kip trips King up a abit and Ford hits a right hand. Ford pulls her into the ropes. Ford with a right hand to the back. Another right hand. She chokes up King on the ropes while making out with Kip. Suplex and a cover for 1…NO! Ford sends King into the corner and boots her hard. King fights out with a right. Ford clubs the back. She sends King to the corner and chokes her up till the ref holds her back. Ford to the corner again with a blatant choke. Ref holds her back again. Ford runs right into an elbow. King boots her away. She hops to the top rope. Dive from King and a dropkick! King rushes the corner, Ford moves out of the way.
Ford flips, hits handspring elbow. Another flip off the ropes into a cutter for 1..2….3!!!
Winner: Penelope Ford
I see the cutter is AEW’s Superkick.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 4:55
Match 10: Best Friends (w/ Orange Cassidy) vs Alan Angels and Shawn Dean
Chuck and Dean to start. Lockup.and Chuck with the go-behind. Dean with a side headlock. Shoulder tackle and Dean salutes. Rope work and Taylor hits an arm drag. Dropkick from Taylor. He tags in Trent and whips, double elbow. Elbow drop to Dean. Tag to Angels who comes in and Trent with a go behind. He drops Angels to the mat and slaps his head a bit. Angel with a slap to Trent. Kick, another kick, misses a roundhouse, so Trent chops him. Trent hits the ropes, Angels with a step-up enziguri. Clothesline from Trent! Trent bounces Angels off the ropes with a Northern Lights into a pin for 1..2..NO!!! Trent is distracted by Dean and Angels dives in with a dropkick. To the corner. Tag to Dean. Right hands from Dean. A chop from Dean. Uppercuts. Dean with a high knee in the corner. Kick to the face. Tag to Angels. Trent is seated in the corner. Angels runs, and Dean belly to belly’s him INTO Trent. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Tag to Dean. Kick from Dean. Dean runs and misses a splash. Trent grabs the head. Tornado DDT. Angel to the top rope. He dives into a Saito Suplex. Tag to Chuck. He sends Dean to the outside. Angels hits the ropes. Powerslam from Chuck. He misses a splash. Angels runs, eats a knee to the back of the head. Chuck flies to the outside onto Dean. He then sends Dean right into a spear from Trent! In the ring, Chuck eats aboot. Angel on the 2nd ropes, rips, hops, lands on the shoulders, but Chuck stops him and hits a powerbomb! Tag to Trent. They HUG it out!!! Trent locks up Angel.
Chuck to the top rope. STRONG ZERO! Pin for 1..2…3!!!
Winners: Best Friends
Orange Cassidy is the best thing to happen to all of Sports Entertainment.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 5:25
End Show
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