wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s AEW Dynamite Review 3.2.22
Image Credit: AEW
Loading...Hey guys! Did you hear Nia Jax is joining CYN? It’ll now be called Control Your Niative!
We start AEW with Schiavone and Tony Khan in the back! Tony’s ready to make his big announcement! He informs us that he has purchased ROH! There’s no Shane! It’s Tony Khan, baby! ROH is his.
Traffic slowed me down, but I’m here, and oh joy, Danielson is in the ring with Christopher Daniels!!!
Match 1: Christopher Daniels vs Bryan Danielson
I’m about five mnitues into the match. Leg lariat from Daniels sends Bryan outside. Baseball slide from Daniels, then a springboard moonsault off the top onto Bryan!
IN the ring, Daniels flies off the top rope with a crossbody! High knee from Bryan. We get a bow and arrow stretch from Daniels. He reaches the ropes and breaks it. Bryan with achop, another, uppercut. Whip to the corner. Reversed, Bryan flips over the head, hits the ropes, ducks under, into a Blue Thunder Bomb from CD! They’re up! STO from Daniels! Bryan up in the corner, hits a kick out of it. Daniels with aright hand, pulls Bryan off the top rope with a slam! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Iconoplasm, I think Excalibur called it. Double underhook, Bryan sends him into the corner, locks up, GERMAN! Daniel with a running kick in the corner! To the top! Daniels elbows out, headbutt and Bryan drops to the mat! Daniels dives with acrossbody, Danielson rolls though, cover for 1..2.NO!!! Cross armbreaker! Into a rollup for 1..2..NO!!! Drop toe hold from Daniels, Bryan escapes, gets a cradle for 1..2.NO!!! Crucifix for 1..2..N!O!!! Daniels with a right hand. Bryan is stunned. Impressed, almost. Forearm from Bryan, one from Daniels, they go back and forth. Daniels misses a right, and Bryan hits a hard smack. Rolling elbow! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Daniels gets Bryan to the top rope. Smack to the face, He crosses the arms, going for the Fall from Grace, gets it,
Bryan up, Daniels drops him, goes for a moonsault, but lands RIGHT INTO A TRIANGLE!!! Elbow to the skull! Ref stops the match!
Winners: Bryan Danielson
What I saw was great, a nice start, and a solid reminder of what ROH stands for.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: Stopwatch Issues
Bryan with the mic, says 20 years ago, in the first ROH show, he and Christopher Daniels were in the main event. Then, they started matches with a handshake and ended matches with a handshake.
He walks over to Daniels, grabs his hand, and pulls it upward. Here’s the thing, though. He’s not in ROH, he’s in AEW! And it’s time to kick somebody’s head in.
He grabs Daniel’s other arm and stomps his head in. He grabs the mic again, says on Sunday, the head that will be stomped in will be Moxley’s.
Moxley can see that he is better and more violent than other. But he is wrong. Moxley is at a Cross Rhodes roads, though. On one path, he gets his ass kicked on Sunday and fades into oblivion. No, he chooses another path. He will walk this path through fire, bullets, and through Bryan, because at the end of this path, he beats The American Dragon. The story of Jon Moxley is just starting, and he writes the first chapter in blood this Sunday. Since Bryan wants to talk about all he’s going to do to him, let’s just prove him wrong tonight. Take your shot.
Moxley removes his jacket. Bryan seems confused, opts to wait till Sunday, and leaves the ring.
Sting and Darby are backstage to talk about Friday and Sunday. Darby isn’t worried. They’re going to steal the show.
Darius Martin is back!!!!
Match 2: Casino Tag Team Royale
FTR vs Top Flight vs
The first two teams to start. FTR whips Top Flight into the ropes, dropkick from both Top Flight. Dropkick to Dax, Dropkick to Cash. Shotgun off the ropes to both men from Dante! Whip to Dante into Dax. He’s on the apron, clothesline from Dante, Enter Darius with a suple, Dante flies off the top rope and hits a head scissors. Next team is coming..
The Acclaimed are here!!!
Caster gets some mic time, dissing Kane real quick.
While they’re going at it, Dante hits a dropkick. All men are down as The Acclaimed enter. Bowens with some chops and a kiss to Darius. Torture Rack to Dante, and a dropkick to him from Max. Dax and Cash here to corner them and hit a few stomps. Time is already almost up!
It’s The Dark Order!
Alan Angels and 10 are out here! They go after Bowens with a powerbomb, then whip to Dante, back body drop to Dante, and Angels hits a dropkick off the top! Angels attacks Cash, Ten goes after Cash. Acclaimed and Top Flight go at it.
Butcher and Blade are out next, and they go right after Alan Angels. Blade tosses him over the top rope, but he lands on the apron. He and Butcher slam down Darius hard. They continue to attack Top Flight as Angels hops on the ropes and gets shot off by FTR! Angels is gone!!
Varsity Blondes are out next, and the ring is getting super crowded as we go to break!
We are back, and Bear Country and Santana and Ortiz have joined the party. Ortiz eliminates both of Bear Country, so they’re gone. Dante flies off the back of Darius with a dropkick, eliminating him. FTR link up with Santana and Ortiz as Chuck Taylor and Trent Baretta enter the match! Trent goes after Bowens, hitting a hard clothesline. They double team Dante. Griff has Dax in the corner hurting, but Cash grabs him and suplexes him onto the top rope. Griff is sent over the top rope by Anthony Bowens and holy shit we still got more teams coming!
The Dark Order again! This time with Evil Uno and Stu Grayson!
Uno tosses Stu into the ring INTO other wreslters! Nice. Stu runs to help Ten from getting eliminated. Back elbow from Blade on the apron, but Ten hits a huge kick sending Blade to the floor!
Top Flight tries to eliminate Chuck Taylor. Ten and Blade meet in the middle of the ring. Bi kick, right hand, Uno with a kick, kick from Stu, clothesline from Ten! They eliminate Butcher!
The Young Bucks are here, and presumably the last team. They take their time walking to the ring, doing their pose and all.
Cash wants them bad, holding the ropes open.
We come back from PIP and Gunn Club is eliminated just as soon as they enter.
Good lord, teams are still comin! Arn comes out with Lee and his son!
They enter and get dropped a few times, which causes me to realize Peter Avalon and Riley are both in the ring. Man this is wild. There are so many teams. Lol.
Ten is eliminated by Bowens.
Chuck Taylor is sent over the top rope.
Shit gets wild as Lee and Parker enter the ring. Top Flight send Bowens. The ring is starting to clear.
Danhausen makes an appearance to distract Evil Uno and Trent hits a German, eliminating him. Trent gives him a thumbs up. Santana and Ortiz and Lee and Parker get on the apron. All four going at it. Ortiz with the stomps. Santana eliminates Parker, Ortiz eliminates Lee. They help FTR to eliminate Ortiz and Santana.
We are left with The Young Bucks, Top Flight, and FTR, giving us a sample of what we are going to get. Dante eliminates Cash out of the ring along with him! Dax hits a powerbomb to Matt! Matt sends Dax over the top rope!
Fish and KOR are outside. They go high and low with Dax.
The Young Bucks are with Darius Martin only. Spanish Fly!
Darius eliminates Nick!
Matt sends him to the apron! Low blow! Superkick! The Young Bucks win!
Winners: The Young Bucks
Good lord…so many teams!
Total Rating: 26:58
Match Time: **1/2
We are back!
CM Punk is out next! He is not smiling. He had a lot of thinking to do. He strongly considered that he is the bad guy. He brings up MJF baring his soul, called it courageous. Courage he didn’t think MJF had. He just cant shake the feeling, though, that he is being gaslit. CM Punk doesn’t think Max is lying; he believes these things happened to him, but he questions the sincerity. He must be getting soft because he doesn’t know if it matters.
There’s a famous pic of him on the internet with Steve Austin, and after much lesser men framed him as someone who took his ball and went home, Punk didn’t get mad at the world or lash out and do horrible things. Since he’s been here, he’s seen Max knock out Dean Malenko, who is suffering from Parkinsons. He’s listened to Max bury Pillman in his hometown. He’s heard Max say awful things about Darby Allin’s uncle.
Here’s the thing; hurt people hurt people. Is he Dr. Frankenstein? IS MJF the monster? He doesn’t know if there is anything else he can say that will be more impactful than something he can do. So he wants MJF to come out here. He doesn’t want anyone else but Max.
He comes out. Punk tells him that he used to be MJF. He poured alcohol into an alcoholics throat, he covered a wrestler with ashes of his dead manager, made fun of an addiction that caused someone to get fired because of it. All that hate will burn MJF up. He wants to think that his respect isn’t just given, it’s earned. This is bigger than either of them, bigger than wrestling. This is about that 11 year old kid who looks up to MJF the same way he did to Punk. That’s what this is about. He might be wrong, but he woke up this morning and asked himself a question – “Are you the good guy?” He had an answer. He sure is trying.
CM Punk extends his hand. He drops the mic, keeps the hand out.
MJF GOES IN FOR A HUG!!! HE HUGS CM PUNK!!!!! PUNK HOLDS HIM BACK!
Also, MJF is lookin great in all white.
MJF backs up. LOW BLOW!!!!!!!
MJF removes the jacket. He grabs Punk up and sends him to the apron. He locks the head and hits a Heatseeker to CM Punk! MJF removes the button up and he ha the pic of him and Punk on his shirt!
He calls for something. It’s the Dog Collar! Out come Wardlow and Spears!
MJF with the ring! He clocks Punk right in the head!
MJF attacks the forehead of Punk, who is now busted open! MJF bites the forehead. Out comes security, but FTR is there to stop them!!!! MJF smears the blood across his shirt. He tosses Punk to the outside. MJF puts the collar on Punk and hangs him from the ring! MJF with a mic:
He says he is a snake. The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn’t exist. This Sunday, he will prove to Punk and all these mindless sheep that he is the devil himself.
He orders Spears to hang Punk up.
Out come Darby, Sammy, and Sting to finally stop the pain.
Backstage, Lee is about to have an interview, but in comes Starks to make fun of him again. Haha. He calls Rampage Starks Country, and Hobbs is the president. He wants to warn Lee that if he shows up on Rampage, he may not make it to Revolution.
Lol. Love Starks.
The girls involved in the next match all go at it before the bell even rings.
Match 3: Britt Baker and Jamie Hayter vs Mercedes Martinez and Thunder Rosa
We bring the action into the ring and Martinez is with Britt. They go at it in the center, Britt ducks a clothesline, slingblade. Cover for 1…NO! Tag to Jamie. They hit the roeps, and meet in the center. Again with two shoulder tackles, neither falling. Martine hits a third shoulder and drops Hayter. Sends her to te corner. Tag to Thunder. Rosa kicks the chin. She hits the ropes, Rebel there to distract, Thunder pulls her up to the apron. Britt in with a kick! Hayter gets the upperhand!
We are back, and Martinez has Hayter up for a powerbomb, Hayter escapes, suplex! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Martinez sends hayter into a tag, Jamie misses a kick, Mercedes with a go behind to Britt, Britt esapes, ripcord elbow into a backbreaker from Hayter, superkick from Britt, STO from Hayter! Cover from Britt for 1..2…NO!!! Britt waits for Martinez to stand, hits a superkick to the chin! She drops Martinez, looks for the Lockjaw, but Martinez escapes and gets a tag. Britt with a right, another, Rosa slaps her in the face hard. Britt comes back, misses an elbow, they go back and forth. Rosa tries to stomp the back, misses a right, escapes a suplex, and flips Britt for a Fire Thunder Driver, but Britt escapes, misses a right, Death Valley Driver! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Hayter in to stop the pin. Rosa with a high kick, Matinez in the ring, half and half suplex to Britt. Rosa looks to finish her, Hayter in and sends Martienz to the outside.
Rosa has Britt by the head. Martinez flies off the apron. Rosa finishes Britt in the ring and covers for 1..2…3!!!
Winners: Thunder Rosa and Mercedes Martinez
That was…not good. Hayter looking great aside, there was a lot of a lot of missed hits, miscommunication, and a hell of a lot of mistimed moves during the end of the match.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 8:31
Tay Conti is backstage with Ana Jay. In come Jade to call her a bitch and say that nobody cares about “That Karate Shit.” Tay cant touch Jade, according to Sterling.
Match 4: Cezar Bononi vs Wardlow
Wardlow is quick to get Cezar locked up for a powerbomb. The crowd asks for another one. Spears is upset on the ramp. Another powerbomb from Wardlow, spin and a third! Cover for 1…2….3!!!!
Winner: Wardlow
Boom
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: :57
Spears runs into the ring! He tries to smack a chair onto the back of Cezar, but Wardlow grabs the chair!!! He says no to Spears! Spears removes his beanie and stands in the face of Wardlow. Wardlow inches in. Spears realizes what’s going on and backs away.
The House of Black gets a video promo to formally introduce themselves.
Spears and Wardlow are backstage. MJF is here to tell him that if he gets the TNT Title, he’ll let Wardlow keep it. Not like he’ll win it anyway.
Wardlow says it’s because he is too busy keeping MJF winning every week.
MJF walks back up to him and slaps the SHIT out of Wardlow. He tells him that Wardlow is not a wrestler, he’s MJF’s bodyguard, and to not mistake his kindness for weakness because if it isn’t for MJF, Wardlow and his family will be on the street.
Match 5: Adam Cole, Bobby Fish, and Kyle O’Reilly vs Hangman Adam Page, John Silver, and Alex Reynolds
Page and Cole to start. Page backs Cole into the corner and Fish gets himself a tag. Fish with a high kick, but he misses. Page in with the rights!!! Hits the ropes, go behind, shove, big boot to Fish! Page sends Fish into the corner. Stomps to Fish all the way down. KOR in and Page knocks him down with a shoulder tackle. Suplex to Fish onto KOR! Coer for 1..2.NO!!! Tag to Sliver. KOR and Silver legal now. They get kicks back and forth. KOR wrenches the head, Silver does the same, hits a supelx. Tag to Reynolds. He and Sivler spit the leg, roll KOR down. In comes Fish, drop toe hold into double dropkicks! Another dropkick from Reynolds to KOR. Cover for 1….NO!!! Alex double underhooks, Cole distracts, KOR takes advantange with a kick and a slap, and another slap, and a trip. Right hands and a tag to Cole. Cole kicks a few times then tags KOR back in. Abdominal stretch from KOR. Reynolds with a hip toss. He tries to tag, but KOR picks the ankle. Tag anyway to Page! Right yhand to the face, a few more, whip and KOR holds onto the ropes Page follows, rushes out of the ring, slides in after KOR, tag to Fish, Surprise attack to the back of the knee!!! Tag to Cole. Cole to the top rope. He flies for Panama Sunrise, but Hangman counters, looks for Dead Eye, roll up for 1..2.NO!!! Page rolls forward and lifts Cole, Cole drops down and sends Page up and over, waist lock, kick from Cole. Drops the pad! Hits the ropes, misses a knee, Page runs, lands on the apron, looks for Buckshot but no, Cole rolls to the outside!!!
We back, y’all. Cole drops the head on his knee. He’s in the ring with Silver and covers for 1…NO!!! Tag to KOR. He comes in with some hard forearms. He tries for an armbreaker, but Silver turns it into. Pin.1..2..NO!!! Kick to KOR. Another kick. KOR picks the ankle. Tag to Page! Tag to Cole! Cole doesn’t want it! He tags in KOR! Lol. Page cornersKOR, whip to Page, he hits a clothesline off the corner to Fish. Catches a running KOR. Fallaway slam! He flies over the top to Fish on the outside!!! Slides back in, KOR kicks the arm, misses a roundhouse, powerbomb fom Page!!! Rolling elbow from Page! Huge clothesline! Tag to cole! Cole in, Page is up! He is nose to nose! Cole with a right, Page with one, back and forth! Silver and Reynolds are in! Fish and KOR! All six men goin at it!!! Page drops Cole hard! He locks the hips! All other men clear the ring. Kick from Cole. Tag from Reynolds! Rights to Cole! Boot out of the corner.
Knee from Reynolds! Big boot! Hits the ropes! Superkick to Reynolds! Another to the back of the head! He hits the ropes! COLE LOWERS THE BOOM!!!!
Winners: Adam Cole, Bobby Fish, and Kyle O’Reilly
A great main event to a great show. These six dudes are just…wow.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: Stopwatch Issues
Of course, Cole attacks Page, but Page gets the upperhand, KOR grabs the neck, he and Fish try for the Hi-Low! Elbow to Fish. Cole stands, Page on the apron! Lookking for Buckshot! Fish trips him!!! Cole mounts and punches over.
KOR has duct tape! He and Fish tape Page up on the ropes, arms spread! Silver enters the ring. Hi-Low on Silver! Panama Sunrise to Reynolds! Page still taped up on the top rope rope! Headbutt to Page!!! He grabs the title! He lays it on Page! He says it belongs to him.
End Show
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