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Acero’s WWE RAW Review 1.24.22

January 24, 2022 | Posted by Tony Acero
Bianca Belair WWE Raw Image Credit: WWE
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Acero’s WWE RAW Review 1.24.22  

WELCOME TO RAW!! It’s Part Two of the Royal Rumble entrant pick ‘em! Stay tuned in the comments for when I announce it! You can claim the numbers between 16-30! 1-15 were claimed on Wednesday!

It’s Monday…you know what that means.

We are back in the wonderful world of wrestling, where the product is perfect, and the feeling sublime. Wait…..it’s Monday.


We are starting RAW with the weigh-in, apparently. Graves is in the ring with the Adam Pearce, sporting a real Vaudevillians stache.

Lashley comes out, but just as Graves tries to introduce Brock, Heyman comes out to do it properly.

Brock comes out in jeans, shirt, flannel, and a cowboy hat, obviously not ready for a weigh-in.

Graes tells Brock that this attire is not appropriate. Brock wonders if Graves would like him to get naked. He’d like to carry on.

Lashley is first. He takes his sweater off, wearing just joggers and boots. His weight is 273.

MVP grabs the mic to gloat about this number. MVP knew this was not impossible, this match was inevitable. Lashley can’t wait to gain a little weight after the Rumble.

Brock is all smiles. He removes his had then steps on the scale. Ref calls it at 286. He wants to talk about Sunday morning, hot off the press, Lashley beats Brock in The Hurt Lock. We have a new champ! Bobby Who!

Brock leaves.

WTF was that waste of fucking time. Holy shit…

We are reminded of Bianca’s Royal Rumble win and subsequent title match with Sasha Banks before Bianca makes her entrance for the opening match.

So apparently tonight is just Round 1 of the aptitude test that Riddle and Orton must go through, and it will be a Spelling Bee.

Match 1: Bianca Belair vs Queen Zelina

Lockup to start, and Bianca lifts Zelina like nothing, and places her on the apron, simply to show her that she can. Zelina re-enters, and Bianca locks up from behind. Bianca spins Zelina out of the waist lock, back flisp, dropkick to Vega. Bianca locks the head, delayed suplex is turned into a stunner from Vega! Vega attacks in the corner with some kicks! Boot choke till the ref backs her off. Hih kick to Bianca, hits the ropes, running kick to Belair. Vega lifts Belair, who shoves her into the corner Drop toe hold to Bianca and she eats buckle. Vega to the top rope. Bianca with a right hand. She grabs Vega off the corner with a press, but Vega slinks down and locks in a sleeper. Bianca backs her into the corner, Vega drops some elbows to the shoulder. Bianca goes down to her knees. Bianca backs Vega into the corner, snapmare sends Vega to the center of the ring. Vega with a rana, Bianca flips out of the hold and lands on her feet. Dropkick. Another kick. She locks the head. Hits a suplex, holds the head, goes for another, delayed, Bianca runs in place, then hits it! Kip up!

Bianca hits the ropes, springboard moonsault onto some knees! Vega goes for Code Red, but Bianca holds on, flips her off, KOD! Cover for 1..2…3!!!!

Winner: Bianca Belair
They had almost four minutes, and did as much as they could with the time given, but there were plenty of times where they were simply connecting one big move to another. With some fine-tuning, and actually some slowing down, they may have really had something here.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 3:43

Owens is backstage, gets stopped by his favorite interviewer, tries and stops the interview with a quick, “No.” He then calls Kevin’s opinion moot. Owens fought through the pain, he wasn’t faking an injury. He fought through, and got a title shot because of it. Tonight, he will just keep fighting until he is US Champ.

Match 2: United States Championship Match
Kevin Owens vs Damian Priest

Priest starts off aggressive, but Owens hits him with a surprise senton, gets a 2 count, yells at the ref, then punches Priest dead in the face. Lol. He tries for a cannonball, but Priest with a Goozle! Owens escapes, hits a chop, high kick from Priest, Owens rolls out of the ring! Priest hits the ropes, steps over, Owens. Moves, Priest stops, heads outside, grabs a boot to escape a superkick, and finally sends Owens into the barricade. Priest sends Owens into the ring. Superkick from Owens.Owens on the apron. SENTON! PRIEST GOT THE KNEES UP!!! GOOZLE!!! CHOKESLAM ON THE APRON!!!!

WE come back, and Priest hits Owens with a bck elbow in the corner, turns, locks the head, Owen escapes, Priest boxes the ears, Owens turns, Priest hits a weird looking head drop. Weird, but cool. Cover for 1…2…NO!!! Priest sits Owens on the top rope, hits a right elbow, climbs, Owens hits a headbutt. Right hand to Priest. Another headbutt, over and over, spins for a tornado DDT to Priest! Owens to the top rope! FROG SPLASH! 1..2……NO!!!! Kick from Owens, he shoots Priest to the ropes, Priest holds on, Big Boot to Owens, flapjack to Owens! Big Boot again and a cover! 1…2…NO!!!! Owens with a rollup, holds the tights, gets a 1.2…NO!!! Stunner attempt, Priest shoves Owens, hits a huge clothesline, Priest is pissed. He kicks Owens in the corner, and stomps the corner over and over. Ref holds him back,

Priest continues the onslaught. Right hands over and over, even with the ref in between him. Another kick as the ref gets in between Owens and Priest. The ref calls it. Owens wins.

Winner: Kevin Owens via DQ
The whole Damian/Priest thing is annoying and makes him look idiotic more than anything else. The match itself was a slobberknocker. Loved a bulk of it, actually.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 9:43

Rhea, Dana, and Liv all get some promo time about winning the Rumble. None of them are impressing.

Match 3: Tamina, Carmella, and Nikki A.S.H. vs Liv Morgan, Rhea Ripley, and Dana Brooke

How nice of Nikki to go so heel that she’ll now team with Carmella…

Tamina and Dana to start. Dana gets the eventual tag to Rhea, who comes in to hit a dropkick to Tamina. Tamina shoves her to the ropes, Rhea hits a kick then a Northern Lights. 1…2…NO!!! Mella with a late break up. In comes Liv, then Niki to drop her, then Dana to drop her, Tamina hits a back elbow to Dana, Mella in the ring off the tag. She shoves Rhea.

Rhea shoots the legs, spins, twists the legs and locks in a Cloverleaf almost effortlessly. Mella taps.

A match to remind you of who will be in the Rumble that, for right now, is more important than Nikki v Rhea.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 2:19

Nikki shoves Rhea from behind then runs out of the ring…

Academic Challenge of some sort is next, it appears.

Kevin Patrick is in the ring, center, behinda. Podium. Otis and Gable have the #3 and #4 on their neck. Gable wants to put tonight’s moment in a way that the Ohio morons can comprehend. Tonight is the first in a triad of events. He then defines “triad.” Tonight, he will prove his intelligence, as well as Otis’s mental prowess. Gable is so proud of Otis. Lastly, he would like to use his platform to officially announce that they will be in the Rumble.

Out comes Riddle and Orton. The winners of the spelling bee get to choose next week’s challenge. The first word is “Emmental.” Otis spells it right.

Riddle is up next. The word is “Calibration.” Riddle hears, “CaliBROtion.” Riddle wants Patrick to put this into letters for him. Oh, like when he calibrates his scales…

Riddle spells it correctly.

Gable is up next, and his word is “disillusion.” Gable laughs this off, says to go ahead and define it, then Gable cuts him off and says he knows the definition, he’s Mr. 4.0. He, instead, spells “dissolution.”

Gable is pissed, saying that Kevin pronounced the word wrong.

Orton to the mic, tells Gable to take a freakin seat, please. He asks Kevin for his number so they can get this over with. His word is “dumbbell.”

He spells it right, then tells Gable to shut up and face him one on one, then spells out how he will beat Gable tonight.

There is no clear winner, here…

Match 4: Randy Orton vs Chad Gable

Side headlock from Orton. He drops Gable, gets a front face lock, Gable escapes, Orton rolls away, creating separation. Another lockup and Gable works the arm, Orton from behind, Gable with wrist control. Orton with a side headlock. Orton hits the ropes, shoulder tackle! Arm drag! Orton corners Gable, Gable hops over the running Orton, Orton locks the head, Gable shoves him away to prevent the RKO, then rolls outside.

Both men back in the ring. Orton is licking his lips. Throat thrust from Gable. Chop to ortn, right hands int othe corner, again. Gable with a forearm in the corner. Kick from Orton, uppercut, another, another. Another! Again! Lordy. Whip to the ropes, back elbow from Orton. Gable rolls to the outside. Orton follows and just drops Gable on the announce table. Orton tosses Gable in the ring, Otis hops to the apron, Gable clips the leg! Tackle, Gable to the top rope, moonsault!!! Cover for 1..2….NO!!!!!

We are back and Orton hits a clothesline, another, powerslam. He corners Gable, Gable escapes, Orton locks the head. Backbreaker to Gable. Orton with a rope-assisted DDT. Orton calls for the RKO!

On the outside, Riddle tries to stop Otis from entering the ring, but gets stopped with a T-Bone suplex! In the ring, Gable tries for a backslide, but Orton escapes, gets another powerslam. Orton backs up as Gable gets to his hands and knees. Orton runs, tries for a punt kick, Gable picks the ankle!!! In the middle of the ring! Orton reaches forward. Gable works the ankle as the crowd cheers for RANDY!

On the outside, Riddle attacks Otis with a scooter!!! OVER AND OVER!!!! Orton shoves Gable into the corner, Gable flies back…right into an RKO!!! Cover for 1..2..3!!!

Winner: Randy Orton
Bro, why attack Otis with a scooter? Seems fucked up! Lol. Gable is a godsend.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 13:48

Riddle grabs a mic, congratulates Orton, then says next week…in an academic challenge…they will have a scooter race.

Look man, I WANT to like this whole academic thing but man are they missing the mark….

We are back, and Bliss is with her doctor. She is wearing mostly black this time around, and wants to talk about Lily. She met Lily when she was six years old. One time, these two teenage girls would always pick on her. She was playing on the monkey bars one day, and these girls shoved her, and she went unconscious. When she woke up, there was Lily. Anyway, she took Lily and they told her that the two girls never came back, but don’t worry about that. She continues to ramble as we fade out back towards RAW.

Backstage, but earlier today, Theory asks Vince if he could get a later entrance in the Rumble. You know, 26, 27, 29? Any of those. Vince says he has no influence over any of that. What Theory should be worried about is his opponent tonight. Theory lists off AJ’s accolades, then says he is ready.

Vince offers Theory his phone and tells him that Theory better bring back a really good selfie.

Match 5: Austin Theory vs AJ Styles

Lockup into the corner, and the ref breaks it. Theory mocks AJ, they lock up agin, and Theroy gets AJ into the corner. Ref break again, and Theory flexes. AJ with a side headlock in the center of the ring. Theory hits the ropes, AJ stuffs the hold, droppin to his knees. Theory to the ropes again, shoves AJ, AJ with a rollup for 1..NO!!! Fireman’s, conter, AJ with another rollup, waits for a dropkick. HITS IT! Beautiful. Theory flies over th top rope to Theory on the outside. AJ sends him back into the ring. He sends Theory into the corner. Chop to Theory. AJ catches a kick, but Theroy with a left hand! Theory fakes a knee injury and sends AJ into the buckle. He gets to the apron and slams AJ down. Beautiful suplex. A cover. 1…..NO! AJ corners Theory, Theory escapes. Chop from AJ. Another. Hard one to the chest. AJ DROPS A KNEE ON THE FOREHEAD! Ouch. Cover for 1..2….NO!!! AJ with a snap suplex. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! AJ lifts Theory. Theory shoots Aj up and flapjacks him onto the top rope. Stomp to the chest. Another. Left to AJ. Whip to AJ. A HARD WHIP, actually, and AJ hits the buckle chest first. Theory beats on him with the ropes in between then. Theory puts the boots to AJ. Aj is up with a right hand, dropping Theory. AJ locks the head, Theory shoots him forward. AJ on his knees. Theroy walks over, grabs the arm, sits AJ on top rope. Theory follows. Locks the head, AJ hits some rights, Theory gets shoved down. Rolls forward, DROPKICK TO AJ, sending him to the outside!

We come back to Theory hitting a solid backbreaker to AJ. Cover for 1…2…NO!!! Theory with a shoulder to the back of AJ in the corner. Another. Again. HUGE back body drop to AJ. Cover for 1…2..NO!!! Theory with a stomp. He tries for an elbow drop, but AJ rolls out of the way. Theory up, eats an elbow out of the corner, AJ hits the 2nd rope, backflips into an inverted DDT! Right hand from Aj, kick from Theory, Aj with a right, left, right, back hand, leg trip. Hard clothesline in the corner. Suplex out of the corner into a neckbreaker! AJ hits the ropes, running forearm. Cover for 1…2…NO!!! AJ lifts Theory, fireman’s, Theory misses a right, hits an elbow, belly to back, cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Theory composes himself, grabs AJ by the hair, AJ with a jawbreaker! Kick from Theory! Rolls forward and hits a freaking blockbuster from his FEET!!! Holy shit. Theory sits AJ on the corner. Tries for a superplex, AJ slinks out, hits a right, Theory hits an elbow, PELE KICK FROM AJ! AJ calls for Styles Clash, Theory lifts up AJ for ATL, AJ WITH A CALF CRUSHER!!!!!! THEORY GETS TO THE ROPES!!!! AJ kicks out of the corner, RUNS UP THE FUCKING CHEST OF AJ TO HOP OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!

AJ wants The Phenomenal Forearm, but Theory stops him with a shove of the ropes!!!! Theory covers, uses the ropes! 1..2..NO!!! Ref catches him! AJ kicks off the apron, flies, PHENOMENAL FOREARM!!! Cover! 1….2…..3!!!!!

Winner: AJ Styles
HOLYYYYYY SHIIIIITTTTTTT!!!! Ohio just got a fucking TREAT! Amazing match. All the love is going to go to AJ, but let’s not shy away from giving Theory his props because this shit was beautiful. Wow.
Total Rating: ****
Match Time: 17:00

Looks like we’re getting a double interview with Becky Lynch and Piper Nivens tonight.

We are back, and Piper points out how Becky thinks this will be an easy win, but the only thing easy is how easy it will be for her to beat Becky.

Becky says she didn’t hear a single thank you. Thanks for giving her the biggest match of her career. If she would have just said thank you, we wouldn’t be here. Of course she had to slap Piper. Bein the bigger personthat she is, she said she’d lead her to victory last week. She had the match won and Piper just left her laying there. She didn’t see it coming, but come The Rumble, she’ll beat that ass.

Piper says when Becky starts that whining, nagging thing, she zones out because it pisses her off. She’ll show Becky gratitude when Becky shows her some respect. Becky is not a GOAT, she’s a sad lamb on the way to the slaughter.

Becky tells her to know her place.

Piper says ok, rips the mic off, nd she is on her way somewhere.

Becky sits in her chair, talks about being the champ for nearly three years. In comes Piper to attack! She beats some Becky ass until refs come in to break it up.

Last week, Rey dumped his son over the top rope with a grin. This week,

Sarah is backstage with Rey and Dom, asking what it means to be on the cover. Rey says it’s such a dope moment. It’s an honor. He says being on the cover is no different than main eventing Mania.

Dominik says after that stunt last week, Rey is going to be the first to go come Saturday. Lol.

Match 6: The Street Profits vs Rey and Dominik Mysterio

Rana out the gate from Dominik. He hits a high arm drag to Dawkins, but Dawkins ducks a kik and hits a back elbow in the air. Cover for 1….NO! Dawkins sends Dom into the ropes, Dom drop toe holds Dawkins to the outside. Rey hops to the top rope and holds the ropes open as Dom hits a suicide dive, then flies off the ropes with a crossbody to Ford! Ford sends Rey over the top rope, Dom catches him, so Ford hits the ropes, HITS A FREAKING POSE MID-AIR, AND FLIES OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!

We are back and Dawkins is covering Dominik with a 1..2…NO!!! Cravat from behind from Dawkins. Dom elbows out, kick from Dawkins, corner, spinning elbow is missed and Domi kicks the leg, then hits a tornado DDT. Tag to Rey. Tag to Ford. Rey tries fo ra rana, Ford tries to escape, Rey hits it anyway, flies to the apron, hits. Right, top rope, seated senton. Rey hits the ropes, again, Ford lifts him up high and Rey crashses. Ford spins forward, hits a splash, cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Ford whips Rey, Rey kicks back, slides under, in comes Dom, Dom sends Rey into Ford, hitting a rana!

Mysterios hit the ropes for a possible 619, but Dawkins pulls Dom out of the ring, drop toe hold to Ford again, and Rey tries for the 619, but Ford catches him! To the shoulders! Rey rolls forward into a pin. 1..2…3!!!

Winners: Rey Mysterio and Dominik Mysterio
I kind of like the idea Ford trying to find a chink in the armor of Rey, only to fail. It’s a good story, and they did well enough with it.
Total Rating:
Match Time:

After the match, Dom tries to eliminate Rey, but Rey holds on with the legs and sends him over the top rope. Ford then eliminates Rey, only for Dawkins to come in and send Ford over!

From behind, Ziggler comes in and sends Dawkins over the ropes. He and Roode celebrate until Rey and Dom and Ford and Monte all enter the ring and send Roode and Ziggler out. All four men lock eyes, and I suppose that’s our little “sample” of the Rumble they do every year.

After a Smackdown Recap, Seth says he is the only one that can put Roman in his place and he will take one more trip to Smackdown this Friday. He likes to deliver his messages in person. He’ll see Roman Friday.

Aaaaaaaand, time for a segment I completely forgot about….

Maryse’s birthday.

There’s a cake, so….yeah.

There is also security in front of the ring, standing in wait.

Maryse is introduced by The Miz, and she enters the ring with a shocked smile. Her first gift is a painted portrait of her and Miz. The second one is a clutch in the shape of a square. Not even brand name, Mike? Ok, she’s ready for the big gift.

The Miz says he didn’t get Maryse this gift, and thought maybe she got Miz a gift. So if she didn’t get it, and he didn’t, then asks for security to come in and open it. He does, and it’s the brick that was used last week. Miz is all laughs, as he so totally fooled us. We see what happened last week, then Miz asks everyone to stand up. He wants us to sing to Maryse. He counts us off, then starts singing.

Finally, Edge comes out. He cuts the music, tells Mike and Maryse that they’ve been real clever but all the security will not help him Saturday. He and Beth are both pissed, and this is not a good thing.

Edge and Beth walk down the ramp, security gets their ass handed to them, including Beth hitting a body slam to a future world champion, I’m sure. Edge shoots one of the dudes INTO the barricade. Ouch.

Edge and Beth get in the ring and destroy some of the decorations. Spear from both Beth and Edge to some security. Hart Attack to a security guard. 3D to another. There’s one more standing behind the presents. Edge goes over to the table, one dude is seated on the mat. Edge grabs him and powerbombs him through the table.

End Show

The final score: review Average
The 411
In a rarity, RAW started off slow and uninspired and slowly built up towards something great, only to settle back down in mediocrity afterwards. The weigh-in was a tremendous waste of time. I get that they really want to hammer home the fact that Brock isn’t taking Lashley – or anything for that matter – seriously, but there’s a way to do it, and this wasn’t it. The “Academic challenge” had so much potential, but the holes in the plot are larger than those in Emmental. From not finishing the spelling bee (thereby not really having a winner) to Riddle saying next week will be a “Scooter Challenge,” it’s dead on arrival. The “main event” moment was about as entertaining as one would think, even with a cake, a large box, and The Miz singing horribly. Of course, if there’s anything to talk about tonight, it’s that AJ vs Austin match. Holy hell, catch that bad boy, because it was beautiful. All in all, this didn’t make me want to watch the Rumble any more than I currently do, although they may think that the event sells itself. See you next week for The 411 Royal Rumble!!!

article topics :

RAW, WWE, Tony Acero