wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s WWE RAW Review 5.29.23
Image Credit: WWE
Loading...YOYOYOYOYOYO…….YO!
ISS YA BOY, TONY! WHAT UP, MONDAY NIGHT CREW?!!?!?
As I’m sure most of you know by now, I spent about a week in Vegas for EDC and then some, and I must say that this is the first year where I really questioned how many more music festivals I got in me! Age aint nothin but a numba, tho, right?
Anyway, happy Rusev Day! Let’s goooo!!!
As a reminder, the GoFundMe for Larry’s daughters is still active and if you can make a donation, that would be awesome. Thank you so much to everyone who’s done so thus far.
Are ya ready…?
YOUR World Heavyweight Champion, Seth Rollins starts the show by being announced as such and coming out through the steps like he was a member of The Shield or something…
After the Children’s Choir of Albany New York stops singing, Seth officially welcomes us to RAW and reminds us that he is a visionary, a revolutionary, he is Seth Freakin Rollins. The crowd chants that he deserves it. He says it’s been a long road to get here. Lots of lows and highs, but it just feels right.
He is a champion that wants to be here, chooses to be here, and is ready for a fight. He wants alllll the fights. It doesn’t matter, either, because the result will always be the same: him Monday night standingin the ring with his title, and the world singing his song.
Cue the choir!
AJ Styles aint havin it. The Blue Brand Georgia Boy has something to get off his chest.
He knows he’s a Smackdown guy, but he couldn’t resist coming to RAW to tell Seth congratulations. He gave it all he had in the ring, and the WWE Universe chant that Seth deserves it. But AJ doesn’t think Seth deserves anything. No, he EARNED it.
Seth says he is not too good at these things, but after the beating he gave AJ at NoC, AJ has earned this:
Seth extends his hand, they shake.
The Judgment Day comes out to be all judgy.
Finn Balor says this is making him want to puke. Damien Priest is feeling nauseous. He asks Rhea what they do weekly, and Rhea Ripley reminds us that they run RAW. Priest says after watching The Bloodline completely implode, they run the entire WWE. They also beat the tag team champs, something Reigns couldn’t even do. Rhea tells Seth he’s “just another [champ]” and that one of them will be taking the title from Seth. Could be Priest, Priest thinks it could be Finn, Rhea thinks it could be Dom.
Seth is bewildered. He and AJ laugh this off heartily. Dom wonders why. He’s beaten AJ. Finn say that them two beat each other down at NoC, but Dom says they’ll finish the job tonight. AJ Says it sounds like a challenge, and wonders what Seth thinks. Seth accepts. Any two of them against the two of them in the main event of HIS show, Monday Night Rollins.
Backstage, Adam Pearce is on the phone with SOMEONE talking about AJ being on RAW even though he is on Smackdown, and he apologizes.
Nearby, Seth and AJ are talking and Pearce comes to say he’s trying to work through the red tape to make the match happen, and this is all so little but so important. Pearce points to his phone, says he is trying to make the match happen, and asks AJ if he has his gear.
MitB Qualifier
Ricochet vs The Miz
Some rope work ends with Miz on the outside and Ricochet flipping over, holding on, hopping over a swipe, kick to the face of Miz, then a moonsault off the 2nd buckle.
Back in the ring, and Miz hits a surprise Rana to Ricochet! He covers! 1..2.NO!!!! Miz gets Ricochet to the outside, tosses him over the table towards the announcers, then tosses him back in the ring. Miz to the top rope. He flies with an axe, drops it right on the forehead, and covers for 1..2…NO!!!
We are BACK and The Miz flies off the top with a crossbody. Did you hear that?! A CROSSBODY!!! He screams about MitB how important this is, then lays in with the kicks. He tries for another kick, but Ricochet catches it, high kick to the face, hits the ropes, another kick sends mIZ down. Miz in the corner, Ricohet turns and rushes the corner with a headbutt to the gut, then kicks Miz’s face hard. Springboard, right hand, Miz catches him for the finish, Ricochet sends him into the corner, Miz shoots him into the buckle face first. Kick from Miz, codebreaker type move. DDT to Ricochet! Cover! 1..2….NO!!!! Miz calls for the end, shoots for it, but Ricochet rolls him up! 1…2.NO!!! Reversal for 1..2.NO!!! Standing inverted blockbuster from Ricochet! He heads to the top rope!
Ricochet flies! Shooting Star Press! Cove! 1….2….3!!!
Winner: Riccohet
Nice of The Miz to show some importance of the MitB match, but every ladder match needs a Ricochet. Matchwise, it was pretty average with the noted exception of Miz trying to be a high-flier and match Ricochet’s energy.
Total Rating: *1/2
Match Time: 9:06
Recap of Trish finding a new friend in Zoey before we head back to live and Trish Stratus is here in her NoC gear, but with significantly more chest.
BACK FROM COMMERCIAL, and Trish is here to pimp out zoey, saying she has more aggression than she’s seen in a long long time.
Here comes Zoey Stark who says she came in this business to be the best and make a statement. Who better to learn that from than the OG herself. She could have taken the long, hard, difficult road, just like Lynch, or she could be smart and be lead by Trish Stratus. Trish is so giving. So humble. So kind. Now that she has the floor, she’d just like to thank Trish. She does wonder, though…what’s on Trish’s face?
Trish has a big ol bruise on her jaw. She warns Becky that if she comes at her again, Zoey is going to end her.
This cues Becky Lynch to come out and tell Zoey she is going to ruin her life. Trish is still in her gear, and so is Becky. How bout they restart the match and finish it one-on-one.
Zoey runs out, gets clocked by Becky with a right, and falls to the mat. Becky hops to the apron. Trish readies herself. Becky ducks under a right, hits the ropes, checks Trish, kicks Zoey off the apron, then mounts and hits a bunch of rights to Trish. But here comes Zoey. Sliding kick to Becky. They corner Becky and stomp a mudhole in her. Becky tries to fight back, but Zoey is there to hit the Z360. Trish gets her lick in and her and Zoey stand tall.
Backstage, Indus Sher and Jinder Mahal are walking!!!
Smell the intrigue.
VEER HAS COME!!!!!!!
Indus Sher (w/ Jinder Mahal) vs
Veer attacks Jobber 1 with a pounce! Sanga sends Jobber 2 outside. Veer with a splash in the corner, then he tosses Jobber 1 aside. Tag to Sanga, who runs with a boot to the face. Jinder watches by stoically. Sanga with a suplex to the incoming Jobber 2 then he slams Jobber 1 onto his partner.
Tag to Veer. We get a double team finisher and a cover for 1..2..3!!!
Winners: Indus Sher
Mid
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: One Braden Walker
Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens come out to much love, and Sami is here to celebrate because….they won. Not just the titles, but they won. The dissolvement of The Bloodline is complete. Roman deserves everything he got. Roman may hold the title for another 1,000 days, may main event the next five Manias, but none of it matters, because for the rest of his life, when he looks at their faces, he will always know in his heart that THEY won.
Here comes Imperium to interrupt. Ludwig Kaiser calls their victory impressive, impressive indeed. But was it the most impressive that night? No, not nearly as impressive as th man who extended his record-setting reign.
Owens wonders why they are here. This is NOT the Wild West, you must wait for someone to call their name before they come out. They broke the rules. What is he, a psycho?
Sami tells KO to chill, bruh. Lol. He asks Imperium why they are out here, don’t they got a match later?
Kaiser tells them they are an embarrassment, Riddle is an embarrassment, and the fact that they have the titles is an embarrassment. They are not worthy of them.
KO wonders, they always hear from Slenderman, and sometimes the one with the ears talks, but the bald one with the head never talks. KO really wants to know what his opinion is. Sami agrees. We all wanna hear from baldy.
Kaiser yells ENOUGH, how dare they besmirch them!
SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!
The Alpha Academy is up top! Maxxine is wearing a shirt that says Shoosh! Gable calls this the NEW Alpha Academy. They have a lesson to hand out, and they will do it now.
Kevin asks for Gable to say the thing. You know…the thing. The one that makes Owens chuckle every time!
AHTHANK YOU!!!!
Kaiser and Chad to start. Shoulder tackle sends Chad down. Rope work and Gable steps under, side headlock takeover, scissors from Ludwig, a takeover of his own, Gable reverses, covers for 1…NO! Gable with a German pin for 1…2..NO!!! Kaiser gets Gable into the corner. Right hand. Kaiser with an uppercut. He tries for a hiptoss, but Gable hits one of his own. In come Vinci to get leg scissored across the ring. Maxxine shows some love to Gable, but Valhalla is here for some reason. She tries to attack once, twice, but Maxxine dodges both and hit a high kick. This causes Valhalla to chase her up the ramp and to the back.
Back to the action, Kaiser sends Gable into the corner. Tag to Vinci who is outside and hits a running kick to the face of Gable, who is hanging upside down all while Kaiser runs wit a kick of his own. Vinci sends Gable face first into the corner. An OTIS chant starts. Chop to Gable. Body slam into the ropes from Vinci. Tag to Kaiser who distracts long enough for Vinci to hang Gable’s arm on the top rope. Gable tosses Kaiser by the arm, tries for a tag, but Kaiser is there to grab the leg. Gable kicks him out of the ring, in comes Vinci, Gable tosses him OUT, then crawls for the tag!
Otis with a clothesline to Kaiser, to Vinci. He catches the running Vinci and slams him down. Big splash in the corner. Otis calls for it. He hits it! Cover! 1..2.NO!!! Tag to Gable. Rollup for 1`..2.NO!!! Tag to Vinci whohits a spinebuster!
Huge kick from Kaiser then Vinci lifts up Gable, Kaiser to the top, flying uppercut. Cover for 1..2..3!!!
Winners: Imperium
These two definitely needed this win, and it’s nice to see Maxxine joining AA.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 5:15
WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship Match
Four Way Tag Match Match
Damage CTRL vs Raquel Rodriguez and Shotzi vs Chelsea Green and Sonya Deville vs Ronda Rousey and Shayna Baszler
Raquel and Chelsea to start. Green tags in Bayley. Bayley hits a right then tags in Iyo, who flips out of the way then tries for a bulldog. Raquel sends her over her shoulders, Iyo corners her and tags in Bayley. She kicks in the corner. Raquel locks up behind and slams Bayley down hard. Green laughs heartily until Bayley tags her in. Green is NOT ready. Raquel pulls her in the hard way, Green tries to tag in Ronda or Shayna, but they both deny her. Raquel sends her flying outside.
We are BACK and Shotzi is hurtin in the corner. Ronda has an arm bar around the ropes for it till the ref stops her. Shotzi tosses her into the center of the ring then stomps the elbow. Elbow from Shotzi, one for Ronda, one for Shayna. Baszlerpulls her, neckbreaker to Shayna. Tag to Raquel! Clothesline to Bazler. Fallaway Slam! Another! Tag from Ronda, and she comes in scowling. Ronda punches, Raquel blocks, kick from Ronda, she corners Raquel, Raquel with a back elbow. She lifts Ronda up with one arm but Shayna is here! Raquel slams her down behind her. Ronda shoots the arm, takes her down, and tries for the arm bar. Raquel fights, and here comes Bayley with an elbow drop from th top rope! Raquel rolls towards the apron as Ronda favors her mid sextion. Green with a tag to Ronda’s back. She corners Rousey, Sonya sends her into the post again. Green drops Raquel, running kick from Sonya. Cover for 1..2……NO!!! They scream in agony. Green to the apron. Tag. Green to the top rope. Iyo tags herself in. Springboard dropkick to both girls. Raquel turns her, palm strike from Iyo. She rushes the conrer with double knees. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Shotzi is there to break it up. Bayley and her wrap up, Bayley sent to the outside. Shotzi hits the ropes, dives onto Bayley on the outside! She hops to the apron. Tag! She comes in, ducks under a right, shoevs Iyo, Iyo hops over, so does Shotzi, fireman’s and a spinning facebuster. Double underhook. Tiget suplex to Iyo! One armed flapjack from Iyo! She steps on the stomach, to the top rope, tag from Ronda! Iyo punches her down, locks the head of Ronda, pulls her up, Shotzi is up!! She powerbombs Iyo, Iyo suplexes Ronda! Iyo rolls outside.
Shotzi to the top, Baszler meets her up top. Right from Shotzi. Shotzi from the top! She dives! Sento—NO!! Ronda with an arm bar and Shotzi taps!
Winners: Ronda Rousey and Shayna Baszler
This match really exposed Shotzi as simply not ready. Not a single team here would have struck my fancy, so we’ll just go ahead and see what these two do with it. FYI, Sasha was right.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 11:55
Dolph Ziggler is here. Presumably to make someone look good.
We come back and he does just that, having what can barely be called a match with JD McDonagh as we go to a double count out quickly.
He sends Dolph into the steps, then slams his head into them a few times. Finally, he steps on the arm and head of Ziggler into the steps.
Cody Rhodes that resilient, resilient man, is here to ponder what it is we’d like to have a conversation about.
He admits to losing his match against Brock due to referee stoppage. People called him foolish to fight Brock with one hand, crazy to not tap out. But there’s a reason. Sure, it hurt. He didn’t tap because that’s not the man he wants to be. Years ago, he’d tap out and live to fight another day. He knows that sometimes second chances don’t come. There was once a superstar who used to stand in this ring and say, “Never give up.” Lol. Oh boy.
He has a question for Brock, and he must look into the camera to ask because he is not here tonight. He is assuming Brock has taken his annual vacation. Brock, are you satisfied with this being done? Brock has a victory, Cody has a victory, the game is 1-1. Is Brock satisfied? He hopes not, because consider this an open challenge to Brock. He will post his entire schedule, and if he is standing in a ring, he is standing there ready to fight Brock Lesnar. He’d also like to make this the last time he raddles off all of Brock’s accolades – then lists them. He is The Beast. Beast enough to break my arm, but not man enough to make him tap out.
Matt Riddle is with wifey backstage, saying it’s already been one crazy Hot Bro Summer. He imagines himself winning the MitB briefcase and cashing in on Reigns or Rollins.
In comes Gunther who knows what Riddle is thinking, him wanting to cash in on Gunther. He wants that. Beating Riddle. Humiliating him. That’s fun to Gunther.
Ronda Rousey and Shayna Baszler are backstage with my future reason for being and call their belts nuts, saying the belts are proof positive that they are the best.
MitB Qualifier
Shinsuke Nakamura vs Bronson Reed
Reed starts with the power. Shin escapes, calls for some action, attacks Reed, but Reed no sells it and squashes Shin with a few slams, then hits the ropes and hits a low shoulder to the chest. Headbutt. Chop against the ropes. A righ hand to Shin. Whip to the corner. Hard, and Shin drops to his chest. Reed gets Shin to the shoulders, Reed drops him, Shin lands on his feet. Enziguri, Reed ot the corner, Shin turns him into the ropes, tries to slide with a German, but Reed holds onto the ropes. He kicks Shin on the outside then runs on the apron, but Shin trips him up! Shin with a running high knee to the face. Shin to the apron, and he drops a knee to the back of the head of Reed!
We are BACK and Reed is destroying Shin with some rights. Shin shoots the arm and nearly locks in an arm bar, but reed turns into it and gets a pni for 1..2…NO!!! Reed hits a huge lariat off the ropes. Cover! 1..2..NO!!! Reed hooks the waist, lifts up, Shin lands on his feet, misses a kick, gets the second one. Reed in the corner, Shin spins him, goes for the German again, and hits it this time! Shin back in, rushes for the finish, but Reed with a Samoan Drop! Running senton! Reed to the top rope. Shinsuke is UP!!!! He kicks the leg! Reed lays across the top. Running high knee! Shin to the second rope! Flies off! SUPERKICK TO SHIN! Ripcord Powerslam! He drags Shin to the corner. He dives off for the finish, but Shin moves! Knee strike to the back of the head! KINSHASA! Reed rolls outside!
Shin struggles in the ring as the ref starts the count. He hits 9 and Reed rolls into the ring. Shinsuke with ANOTHER KINSHASA! Cover! 1…..2….3!!!
Winner: Shinsuke Nakamura
Personally, I love Shinsuke in the match, even over Reed, but they had you thinking Reed may be the big man in it. The match was back and forth, and I mean that in the best way. Solid affair here, and likely the best match of the night thus far.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 9:59
Judgment Day (Damien Priest and Finn Balor) vs Seth Rollins and AJ Styles
Dominik pretends to be one of the two in the match, and Finn attacks Seth from behind, claiming to be the true partner. Seth slides out of the ring and stands aside Rhea, as she thinks it’s Finn. She realizes it in a hilarious moment and Seth plays fool, then rolls back inside. Priest corners him. Finn mocks the Seth song as priest stomps Seth in the corner. Priest flips Seth behind him, Seth lands on his feet. He flies for a tag, gets it! Finn is also in. AJ sends Priest outside, hits Finn with a flurry of offense, then a low right forearm. Fireman’s, Finn drops behind him, AJ with a backbreaker anyway. He tries for Styyles Clash, Priest in, Chop to AJ, Rollins in with a knee to Priest! Slingblade from Seth, Priest gets a tag. AJ on the apron, tries for a Phenomenal Forearm, but Dom grabs his leg. AJ hops down, grabs Dom by his collar. Priest is there to pounce AJ onto the announce desk!
We back! Rhea is holding AJ by the arms outside of the ring. Dom looks to attack, but Seth comes by and attacks Dom, sending him into the ring. Rhea gets in the face of Seth so the ref kicks her and Dominik to the back. They leave angrily.
In the ring, AJ gets a surprise rollup on Priest for 1..2.NO!!! Pele kick off the missed right from AJ! Rollins wants the end. Tag to Seth, to Finn. Right, another, kick to the gut of Finn, another kick, spinning clothesline from Seth, He knocks Priest off the apron, face to the buckle from Seth. Running knee to Priest on the outside. Back in, he hits another knee off the top rope to the head! Slingblade! Cover for 1…2nO!!! Finn on is knees begging for mercy. He stnds, Seth grabs him and corners Finn, double under hook, tries for a Buckle bomb, Balor counters with a cradle for 1..2..NO!!! 1914! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Tag to Priest, who comes in just to knock AJ off the apron. Priest waits for Seth, Seth stands, turns, GOOZLE! Seth flips out of it, rolling elbow, Priest off the ropes with a right hand! Cover for 1.2…NO!!! Priest climbs the corner, Seth climbs up, grabs him, Balor with the tag. Superplex! Into a counter from Priest! Broken Arrow! Finn from the top with a Coup De- NO!!! Rollins rolls out of the way! Finn rolls through. SUPERKICK TO FINN! Aj in! Pele kick to Priest! He drops Priests head onto his knee. AJ to the apron, right hand to Priest, sliding knee to Finn. Suicide dive from Seth to Finn!!! Phenomenal Forear—-Priest backs up!
AJ rolls through! Priest with Razor’s Edge! He hits it! Cover! 1…2…..NO!!!!! Seth with a STOMP!!!!!! Tag to Seth! Another stomp! Cover! 1..2…3!!!!!
Winners: Seth Rollins and AJ Styles
It’s Seth and AJ, what do ya expect?! They killed it. Priest, in all honesty, continues to impress as he is becoming one of the most consistent performers on RAW of this year and last.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 13:35
End Show
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