CazXL On Being So Depressed He Wasn’t Sure How Much Longer He Could Go On, How Bad Things Got After His WWE Release

CazXL was on the latest edition of Talk Is Jericho and spoke about getting to such a low point that he wasn’t sure how much longer he’d be alive, how not being with WWE anymore led to him getting in an even worse place, and how his seizure was a wake-up call. Highlights are below.

On being in such an unhealthy place that he didn’t know much longer he could go on: “I was pretty much just, it wasn’t grim or anything, like I wasn’t gonna attempt anything, that’s never been the case, it was just, I knew the life I was living at that point was so unhealthy, drinking myself to death, so I was pretty much when I called him, as grim as it sounds, I was just tying up loose ends. The way I was living, I was living so unhealthy, it couldn’t go on for much longer. The seizure was the wake up call. In that moment that I called Enzo, I was like man, let me just tie up that loose end because he was my best friend for five years before a falling out.”

On how not being with WWE anymore left him with no responsibilities which fueled his bad habits: “I think that the lifestyle I was living was because I didn’t have responsibilities. I was depressed when I came back, and the only thing that would prevent me from living that lifestyle was I gotta get on a flight Saturday morning and I gotta go do a loop, so Thursday or Friday, I wouldn’t drink. So now, I have indie bookings, but I didn’t consider them like a big responsibility. So there was nothing stopping me from living that life. When I was with WWE, I would live that life Wednesday and Thursday, and Tuesday night, but then Friday would come around, ‘Shit, I have gotta fly out tomorrow, you gotta get your act together.’ But without that structure in my life, and that responsibility, I pretty much could do whatever the fuck I wanted.”

On how alcohol withdrawal led to his seizure: “It was from alcohol withdrawal. So I had no education on that matter. I didn’t know alcohol withdrawal could kill you. And the seizure is as far as you can get before you’re dead, the seizure can kill you. I didn’t know you could have a seizure from alcohol withdrawal. Now I know a lot about it because I’ve researched the matter. But I had been drinking so heavily, for so long, that 13 hours without alcohol in my system but my body into shock. In the hospital, they told me that I could have died right then and there. With the amount I had been drinking, they were surprised I made it that far. And some asshole, instead of calling 911, recorded it, put it on YouTube, and I got friends and family and people in the business and former co-workers watching. What a fucking dick. So yeah, regardless, so that guy did that, and I got people that know me seeing this video, it’s embarrassing. So yeah, that’s when I decided this has to stop. Rock bottom.”

If using any of the above quotes, please credit Talk Is Jericho with an h/t to 411mania.com for the transcription.