wrestling / TV Reports
Ciocco’s AEW Dynamite 300 Review 7.2.25
Image Credit: AEW
Loading...SICKOS! What is good, no, what is REALLY good? It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means! Tonight is a new episode of Dynamite, but not just ANY episode of Dynamite, oh no! Tonight is a cause for celebration, as this is episode 300 for the flagship program of All Elite Wrestling! And as such, we honor this landmark episode with one heck of a card for tonight!
The TBS Title will be on the line, as a mere 10 days away from challenging for the Women’s World Title, Mercedes Mone will defend against the woman we all want (and my future Ex-Wife) MINA Shirakawa! Is this a trap for Mone, or is she so good that she will still win anyway? The second spot in the Men’s Casino Gauntlet will be decided in a 4-way match between MJF, Brody King, AR Fox, and Anthony Bowens, Paragon members Kyle O’Reilly and Roderick Strong will team with ROH Champion Bandido to face the Young Bucks and Konosuke Takeshita, and Will Ospreay and Swerve Strickland will face off with Dralistico and Lawyer-in-RAWR, Frank Mortos. And, as a result of the WBD crossover, these tag team matches are being billed as heroes versus villains matches because, in case you didn’t know it, Superman is due into theaters next Friday.
Oh, and I almost forgot, Kazuchika Okada and Kota Ibushi are going to bash it up. Some 300th episode of Dynamite, huh? =)
So, how are we doing tonight? I’m devastated that the Pacers lost Myles Turner, no matter who this falls on in the end, but we’ll survive. It’s also nice to know that the Flyers have something akin to a pulse and make moves in free agency/the trade market.
And another reminder, for my roundtable participants, to get those predictions in to me no latter than the end of Thursday, July 10th, so I have time to patch in and parse those that need to be put in. Please and thank you!
So, without further ado, let’s enjoy this landmark episode of Dynamite!
Image Credit: THIS VERY F’ING SITE!
Tonight, we are LIVE from Los Angeles Ontario, California for Dynamite number 300! As has become the norm, Excalibur, Taz, and the recently re-signed Ian Riccaoboni have the call, with Tony Schiavone on special assignment!
YOU WANTED WAR!!! Yes, I love the theme song and Sum-41, so tough shit lol.
Hangman Page, Arilyn’s cowboy crush, will lead us off tonight! Look, I am not going to waste too much time, this match means plenty to him. This company and this title mean plenty to him. He would ride through death for this. At All-In, he made a promise to win the Men’s World Title, that he would free it from the briefcase and raise it over his head, and that is a vow he will keep. So, you can tie me up, but it won’t be enough. You can wrap a chain around my neck and hang me from the sky, but you will have to kill me before I let this chance pass me by. And if you think that I am going to let the Elite, or he is going to let the Death Rider’s involvement cost him, then you are the biggest dumbass in the world. Because he knows they are coming at All-In, and he will welcome them all. Moxley, you give me everything, or you give me DEATH, AND MAKE THIS A TEXAS DEATH MATCH!
(Well, we’re certainly in the right state for it, possibly)
This draws Jon Moxley and Marina Shafir out from the bowels of the arena. Oh, Sword over Damocles reference from Ian! Love it!
Jon on the mic. So, at All-In, you want to put all your chips on the table? Your life, your health, your career, all on the table with the AEW Title, in a Texas death match?
No.
You don’t want that, says Jon. You might think you want that, but you don’t At All-In, you are going to lose. At All-In, you are not going to win, because you don’t want to win. No, you are safe and comfortable. You don’t want to wake up Sunday morning with the AEW title and all that comes with it. You know why you won the Owen? It wasn’t the peak. I mean, it’s nice, but it’s not the top of the mountain. Jon lives in pressure. People call themselves the best wrestler and that is bitch shit. He will show the entire world at All-In that he is much more than that. He will show them exactly what he is and what a world champion looks like. You don’t have it to take the title from me and you surely don’t have it in you to do it in a Texas Death Match. You won’t survive that, you won’t walk away from that.
Page is like you talk too much and he slaps Jon. Jon double legs him, but Page has a fork! Here is Wheeler Yuta, but Page knocks him out. Shafir slaps Page! Again! And again! A fourth time. A Fifth time! Yuta grabs the foot of Page until Claudio Castagnoli arrives to ambush Page. Moxley and Shafir leave through the crowd as Claudio hits the Neutralizer on Page in the ring. FUCK YOU YUTA chants because, sure, why not lol. Page is moving, he has the mic. IS THAT THE BEST YOU GOT? SEND YOUR LITTLE NEUTERED LAP DOG CLAUDIO AFTER ME, BUT I’M STILL STANDING, BITCH!
This pisses Claudio off, as he comes back to ring side, but Samoa Joe is here! Claudio thinks about it, Yuta feigns he wants to fight Joe, but he’s a wimp. The rest of the Opps arrive. Shafir sneaks in to hit Page, but he blocks the briefcase. MOX! IF YOU’RE THE CHAMPION, YOU THINK YOU ARE, GIVE ME TEXAS DEATH!
Moxley rips his shirt off and frantically paces. He gets the mic. You want it, you got it. All-In, Texas Death!
Page hands the briefcase back to Shafir, who was sitting in the ring the whole time. Oh, in all of the excitement, he forgot something. You said he didn’t have what it takes for Texas Death, but in case you need a reminder that he will do whatever it takes…
Page leaps over the ropes and hits the BUCKSHOT LARIAT TO MARINA! Well, I mean, she did slap him six times and tried to hit him with a briefcase, so vis-a-vis?
Well, we got to the stipulation for the world title match. Page showed a lot of fire, Moxley did his usual Riddler shit, and Marina got ran over.
TIMELESS TONI STORM and Rachel Brashanan are here. Toni says that she needs a more menacing name. How about Rachel the Wrecker? Rachel says put that on a T-Shirt! Yes, please, and thank you!
More TIMELESS is upon us, as Toni and Luther are here to spectate the opening match!
TBS Title Match: Mercedes Mone (C) vs. Mina Shirakawa
The bell rings, and Mina is quickly on the attack! Mone abandons the ring and goes back in, using it to stomp on Mina as she tries to slide back in. Mone apparently has photos of Storm on her boots, so that’s interesting. Mina with a high kick, she slides back in and rolls up Mone for a one count. Mone tries the Bank Statement, but Mina fights out. Mone jumps, but Mina trips her in midair. Mina mocks Mone, and Mone is baited into a roll-up from Mina for a two count. Mone takes over and mouths at Storm at ring side. Mone whips Mina, but she comes back with the Thesz Press. Hair grab Beel by the challenger. A second one. She dances, and dear dog, be still, my beating heart. Mone stops Mina in the corner and hits a corner Meteora. She forsakes the pin and hammers away on Mina. Mone mocks Storm’s celebration on the mat as we go to PIP Break.
Monocles out for science!!
And we’re back, as Storm continues to look concerned at ring side. Apparently, Mina wrapped Mone’s knee around the ring post during PIP, but there was no image. Mina with a running knee strike to Mone! Mone suckers her in with the Statement Maker! Mina kicks off the bottom rope and puts on the Figure-Four! WOOOO! Mone does a barrel roll out to the apron, as both women hit the arena floor. Mina is up to her feet first. She tries to send Mone in, but she reverses only for Mina to reverse with a kick and a DDT from the apron! Another DDT from the ring steps! Mone no-sells it because sure, why not, and hits a Meteora from the apron! At the count of nine, both women make it and proceed to grab each other by the hair. Mone slaps Mina, who responds by laughing and hitting back. BOO! YAY! BOO! YAY! Mina whips Mone but runs into a big kick in the corner. Sunset flip into another Meteora from the champ. Sunset Bomb into the corner by Mone, followed by another Meteora! The cover, Mina out at two. Mone to the top rope, another Meteora is countered by Mina! She slams Mone’s knee into the mat and locks on the Figure-Four again. Mone gets to the rope to break it. Mina climbs to the top, SLINGBLADE FROM THE TOP! The cover, Mone out at two. Glamorous Driver is countered by Mone. Mina with her own reversal. Rolling elbow strike by Mina! A second one! A round kick to the back of Mone’s head! SPINNING BACK FIST! GLAMOROUS DRIVER BY MINA, BUT MONE OUT AT 2.8! Mina tries another one, but Mone flips out. Backstabber, but Mina counters with a running knee strike! The cover, but Mone out at one! Lung blower counter from Mone. After a sizeable amount of time, Mone covers Mina, but she kicks out at two. Mone looking Mone Maker, but Mina rolls her through. Mone with the inside cradle counter for the flash win.
WINNER: Mercedes Mone
TIME: 14:10
THOUGHTS: I had some kind of hope that Mone would overlook Mina and Mina would win this match, but it was not to be. Still a really good match, and both women used their previous chemistry to make this match flow.
RATING: ***1/2
Post-match, Mone attacks Mina, so Toni enters the ring. She turns her back, however, and Mone re-enters and slams her in the back of the head with her title belt. She threatens throwing the cake at ring side, but she throws champaign in the face of Luther. The nerve! Mone rips off John Cena by saying your time is up, her time is now!
Young Bucks are here earlier today. Since this is Episode 300 and Ontario is so close to their home, they went on a shopping spree with the company credit card! The car is covered in founding father stickers, and apparently, there are a lot of shoes in the back. We get a trip down memory lane from Nicholas and Matthew, complete with them swinging on a swing set lol.
COMMERCIALS!
The tour of Rancho Cucamonga continues post-break.
Back in the arena, MJF and the Hurt Syndicate is here for the following 4-way match.
Winner gets the #2 spot in the Men’s Casino Gauntlet at All-In: MJF vs. AR Fox vs. Anthony Bowens vs. Brody King
The bell rings, as MJF pulls cash out of his shirt lol. He gives to King, and he throws it to the ground LMAO! MJF escapes the ring and then re-enters the ring and goes out the other side. Fox and Bowens go after him, but the rest of the Syndicate keep them at bay. King runs through both Fox and Bowens instead. King runs train over both men as MJF joins commentary. MVP implores him to let the idiots kill each other and MJF cleans up the scraps. Bowens lands a DDT on Fox and a Fameasser on King in the ring. Fox trips up Bowens on the apron and hits his jumping double stomp. He sends King to the floor and follows up with a moonsault to King. Bowens hits Fox with a DDT on the apron, as both men hit the floor. A FLYING TATOOED MAN TAKES THEM OUT ON THE FLOOR! MJF hits King from behind with a chair. PIP Break!
First Episode 300 PIP (that matters lol)
-NASCAR Chicago, this Sunday at 1PM!
-Peacemaker, Friday’s at 10PM on TNT!
-Train your dragon at BK, where you rule!
-LUCKY RABBIT NAMED FOOT!
-A taco place that’s also a chicken place that’s also a taco place! VIVA!
-In the words of the late and very great Iron Shiek, FACK THAT CANCER BULLSHIT!
-Also, Fuck Miller Lite lol.
-Dots is more than just a pretzel, they twist like a double helix!
MJF is in control as we return. Well, until King rises like the Terminator behind him, which causes MJF to lose his shit on a chop lol. Bowens and Fox are back in. Fox uses the Matrix move to take out Bowens, MJF pokes Fox in the eye, but Fox and Bowens team up on MJF. Double Lariat from King to Fox and Bowens, again lol. Bowens throws MJF into King, he goes up and hits a drop kick to King, making him hit a DDT on MJF. DDT to Fox, Bowens for the cover, two count. Bowens whips Fox, but he sends him from the ring. MJF in, but Fox trips him, leg sweep and a corkscrew brain buster on MJF! The cover, two count. King smashes through both Fox and Bowens, again lol. CANNONBALL TO BOWENS. CANNONBALL TO FOX! MJF avoids his cannonball splash. MJF with a running knee to both Fox and Bowens. MJF rolls up King for a two count. MJF leaves the ring and grabs a chair. King punches it into his face, and now there are three men stacked up in the corner. TRIPLE CANNONBALL! King covers MJF, two count. Bowens with a rolling cutter to MJF. Fox with a cutter to Bowens. Pop-up cutter to Fox by King! Fox suckers King in and hits a top rope snap. 450 Splash by Fox! King out at two. MJF with a hammerlock DDT to Bowens! Heat seeker attempt, but King fights him off and chokes out MJF! Fox with a thrust kick to King, Bowens with the Arrival to Fox! King is back, GANZO BOMB to Bowens. Fox dives in and kind of ends up with his head up King’s ass lol. MJF sneaks in and locks on the Salt of the Earth to Fox! He taps out!
WINNER: MJF
TIME: 13:05
THOUGHTS: Expected winner was expected, but the match was still Hella fun, no doubt about it! Thought maybe they would give King the hometown win, but MJF was the only real choice here.
RATING: ***3/4
Mark Briscoe and his tiny pickle shirt are here post-match. He congratulates MJF on winning, but the bad news is that you have insured yourself a two-minute ass whopping uninterrupted in Dallas. Briscoe wears the blue-collar threat from MJF like a badge of honor, but the bitch comment is going to earn him that beatdown. So, he proposes next week, that MJF leave his guys in the back, and they have a talky talk next week. If you want to put his nuts against his tiny little pickle, then let’s do this next week.
Well, we got a TALKY TALK chant as well, further proof that the fans are true SICKOS lol.
Jet Speed are here looking for revenge. They both have their midsections taped up by the way. They hit double crossbodies, but I think that’s as far as this is going to go. Lashley and Benjamin reverse that fortune as MVP and MJF leave the ringside area. MJF says he has a hundred dollars on the Hurt Syndicate. LOL, just a Hundy? Apparently, Knight and Bailey have a death wish, as Knight says they are still standing, so Bobby and Shelton return to dish out even more punishment. You know there is a saying that, it’s better to keep your mouth shut and let people assume you are stupid instead of opening your mouth and proving them right? Well, Knight and Bailey do it again, Bobby and Shelton return AGAIN for a third beatdown lol.
My live reaction: Guys, don’t do this again and get a fourth beatdown.
Knight: Hey, we Jet Speed, we are still alive.
Me: Oh, for fucks sake.
Knight: You might know how to hurt people, but if you want to keep them titles, you’re going to have to kill us. Shelton, your momma must have taught you how to how to fight, because you hit like a bitch.
Me: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT! SOMEBODY CALL SHELTON’S MOMMA!
Knight wants Benjamin one-on-one next week on Dynamite.
Well, that was Hella fun lol. Jet Speed showed they had more heart than brains.
COMMERCIALS!
The custom limousine is here, and the Bucks look like they are ready for action post-break!
Heroes vs. Villains Trios match: The Young Bucks and Konosuke Takeshita vs. Kyle O’Reilly, Roderick Strong, and ROH World Champion Bandido
Bandido and Takeshita to start us off. Bandido ducks a clothesline and hits a kick to the gut. Counters ensue, and Bandido catches Takeshita. Bandido threatens Takeshita with the gun hand, but Takeshita grabs it and snaps his hand. The Bucks are in now, one or the other got the tag officially, but since their long-time personal ref is here, it’s all allowed. Double team offense to Bandido and to KOR as he tries to come in and break it up. Strong in, quick tag to KOR, double team back breaker and knee drop to Matthew. Double team offense to Nicholas from Paragon. Everyone hits their shit on the floor, and it ends with Takeshita clearing the top rope by a country mile and hitting a senton to Bandido. PIP Break.
Super PIP Break!
-Superman, July 11th, in case you live under a rock.
-Again, no Librarians without the TRUE Librarians!
-Sun Cruiser? Do we just make these names up now?
-How many Frosty variants have YOU had?
-I don’t want the Buffalo from BW bottomless, gross.
-I don’t want some sticky note monster leaving notes on me, again, gross.
-Who needs rottweilers when you have Simply Safe lol.
-Pizza Hut saved their marriage! Yay?
-You can’t have S’mores without Hersheys!
Bandido with a pop-up cutter to Nicholas as we return. Strong gets the tag and tees off on Matthew. Back breaker for Takeshita and Nicholas! Nicolas with the blind tag, he takes KOR and Bandido off the apron. Corkscrew kick to Strong and a DDT to Bandido. KOR unloads the kicks on Nicholas, but Matthews to eat a kick to the ribs. Front Chancery to the illegal Buck lol, good job Knox. Locomotion by Matthew to KOR twice, he gets both Paragon members for the third one. Press Slam by Bandido! Takeshita eats a pump kick to deliver the Blue Thunder Bomb! We reset with Takeshita and Bandido being legal. Takeshita with a pop-up-Liger Bomb for a two count. THIS IS AWESOME chants as all hell breaks loose yet again. Strong with a superplex, KOR with a double stomp, and an avalanche Fall-away slam by Bandido! The cover, Nicholas breaks it up. Matthew takes care of both Paragon members but eats a knee from Bandido. 21-Plex, but Matthew lands on his feet. Both Bucks feed Bandido to Takeshita. Assisted Spiked Tombstone and an assisted double super kick int0 a German! The cover, but Paragon pushes the pile to break it up. The fans show their appreciation as both Paragon members work over Takeshita. Double clothesline from KOR takes out both Bucks. Front Chancery again to Takeshita, but he fights out of it. Super kicks galore to KOR followed by a rolling elbow from Takeshita. TRIPLE TEAM EVP TRIGGER! The Raging Fire finishes it for the “Villains”.
WINNER: The Young Bucks and Konosuke Takeshita
TIME: 11:55
THOUGHTS: Balls-to-the-wall action from everyone involved, which should surprise no one. Definitely looking forward to the Bandido-Takeshita ROH title match at Supercard of Honor.
RATING: ****
Swerve Strickland and Will Ospreay are here to attack post-match! They leave the ring, and Swerve has a mic. EXCUSE ME! He thinks they asked them a question last week, and they didn’t get an answer. They challenged them to a match at All-In, and they want them to put their EVP titles on the line. But they don’t want the EVP titles, mainly because Will can’t be trusted with it lol. They want to put the power on the fans and back to Tony Khan. Will says the Young Bucks are Young Bitches lol. Come on, Lads, give us an answer!
Matthew says they are the EVPs, and they make the rules. You want an answer? Hell No! What do they get out of this?
Will says he has something they might be interested in. if they accept this match and they beat them at All-On, then Ospreay and Swerve cannot challenge for the world title for one year. Swerve doesn’t like this, though, but the Bucks say they have a deal. But you have to get Swerve on the same page, he can tell he’s confused. If that is what you want, too, then you got a deal. Swerve says you got a deal. Matthew says see you pricks at All-In!
I was kind of leaning towards Will and Swerve putting their AEW careers on the line, but maybe that would have telegraphed the winner. Good promo, and like it was expected to be, it will be the Bucks and SwerveSpreay at All-In! Or is it WillyLand? Who knows lol.
COMMERCIALS!
Superman and Omega/MJF promo after the break. Omega has a cape, and the guy who plays Superman has an AEW World Title. Fun stuff!
Will and Swerve are still in the ring for the match. Their opponents waste no time rushing to the ring and launching an attack.
Heroes vs. Villains tag team match: Will Ospreay and Swerve Strickland vs. The Beast Mortos and Dralistico
The attack from the LFI members is quickly countered by Will and Swerve. Back in the ring, Mortos and Dralistico go after Will, but Will with a counter to Mortos, and he takes in Swerve. Running knee to Dralistico, and a flatliner to Mortos. Dralistico threatens Nana, so Strickland goes after him, but Mortos with a Tornio to both Will and Swerve on the floor. PIP Break.
Sorry, y’all, I need this break to clean up my spelling errors lol.
Mortos and Dralistico attempt a double team attack as we come back. Strickland dumps Dralistico on the apron, but Mortos grabs him by the hair, only to eat a thrust kick. Ospreay in now, springboard kicks for both men. Sasuke Special by Will out onto both opponents on the floor. Back in the ring, springboard elbow to Mortos. Cover for a two count. Dralistico with the tag, stomp from the top while Mortos had him stretched out! The cover, Strickland with the save. Dralistico goes around the world and hits a DDT on Strickland! Mexican Destroyer by Dralistico in a ROAR (spear) from Mortos! The cover on Will, two count! Ospreay counters with a crucifix Bomb to Mortos. Swerve Stomp/Storm Breaker combination on Mortos! Dralistico flips both men off, so he eats the Styles Clash and the House Call and that’s game!
WINNER: Will Ospreay and Swerve Strickland
TIME: 8:40
THOUGHTS: Sucks that it was compressed for him, as it should have had a few more minutes for more action. Still, it got Will and Swerve the win they needed, and LFI looked good many times in the match.
RATING: ***1/2, ***3/4 had it gotten to, say, ten minutes.
Okada and Ibushi will throw down after the break!
COMMERCIALS!
It’s time for our MAIN EVENT of the evening!
Kota Ibushi vs. Kazuchika Okada
HOLY SHIT chants as the bell rings and both men stare at each other from afar. Lock-up, and Okada takes Ibushi to the ropes. he paintbrushes Kota, and he runs out of the ring. Okada back in, they lock-up again, Ibushi takes Okada to the ropes. Okada reverses it, and this time Okada fakes out a cheap shot and pats him on the head. That doesn’t work for Ibushi, as he hammers away on Okada. Okada senses the round kick and gets out of the ring. Perhaps unwisely, Ibushi turns his back on Okada, allowing him to return to the ring and attack from behind. Ibushi turns the tables and sends Okada back out to the floor. Ibushi with a springboard crossbody block to Okada on the floor. Ibushi goes around the ring and looks to charge Okada, but Okada cuts him off. Ibushi runs into a drop toe hold, eating the ring steps as a consequence. PIP Break!
300 Dynamite PIP Finale!
-Good for them, but Impractical Jokers doesn’t impress me, at all.
-Is it just me, or does Shaq show way more enthusiasm in commercials than he does on the NBA post-games lol.
-No training a dragon this time, BK? I’m only slightly disappointed.
-Insurify? How many independent insurance companies are there?
-Hers, they will help with weight control for women.
-Sinners, coming to Max this weekend!
-At Boar’s Head, craftmanship is key!
-No comment.
Okada sends off Ibushi and misses his attack post-break. Okada with a big boot, but Ibushi is undaunted and hits a BIG dropkick! Ibushi to his feet, one kick floors Okada with ease. A second one puts Okada back down. Palm strike, another round kick, and a standing moonsault for a two count. Ibushi with what appears to be a double running knee strike for a two count. Okada catches Ibushi on the rebound with a flapjack. Okada grounds Ibushi with a top wrist lock, but Kota back to his feet. Judo throw, but Ibushi runs into the patented neck breaker from Okada. The scoop slam from Okada to the top rope, elbow drop! The Pose, and the middle finger, BITCH! Okada looking Rainmaker, but Ibushi runs Okada into the corner. Okada with corner kicks to stop Ibushi, he hits a running shotgun dropkick. Okada with forearms in the corner, but Kota appears to be eating them. Kota to his feet, he fights Okada to the corner as Okada tries to cover up. Okada back to his feet, Rainmaker is avoided, DOWNTOWN LARIAT from Kota! Ibushi to the top rope, but Okada is up and grabs him by the waist. GERMAN SUPLEX! Rainmaker again is countered with a BIG round kick! EE-BOO-SHE chants as Kota stalks Okada to the corner. He sits Okada on the top rope and goes up as well. DOUBLE UNDERHOOK INTO AN AVALANCHE TIGER DRIVER!!! THE COVER, OKADA OUT AT 2.8! Kamagoye countered with a sit-down by Okada for a two count. Ibushi has the wrist, but Okada grabs the ropes. RAINMAKER! Second Rainmaker is countered, but Okada doesn’t miss the dropkick. RAINMAKER PART TWO, THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE!
WINNER: Kazuchika Okada
TIME: 14:45
THOUGHTS: Very good main event. There may have been lulls in the match which, given how long it has been since Ibushi has been in the ring, was to be expected. It still delivered hand over fist, however!
RATING: ***3/4
Post-match, members of the DCF are here to celebrate and beat down Ibushi some more. KENNY OMEGA IS HERE WITH A CHAIR!!! The DCF beg off and leave the ring. Trent Baretta in from behind with the baton, but Ibushi disarms him, and he eats a powerbomb from Omega! The Golden Lovers share a hug, and with that, we are done!
