Ciocco’s AEW Dynamite Review 3.5.25

Sickos! It’s Wednesday, and you know what means! Tonight, we have a new edition of AEW Dynamite, but not just any AEW Dynamite, no, this is the go-home episode for Revolution this Sunday. A lot of the framework for the first PPV of the year is already in place, but I am sure we will get more build, more intrigue, and more suspense to lead us into said matches this Sunday. As for tonight, there isn’t a lot of action on the books, but we do have Cope (Just Cope) against the last standing none-Moxley member of the Death Riders in Wheeler Yuta, and we’ll see a women’s tag match, pitting Thunder Rosa and Kris Statlander against Megan Bayne and Penelope Ford. We’ll also have a contract signing between Ricochet and Swerve, which I am SURE there will be NO funny business at all, and of course, so much more.

(Wait, what do you mean they’re going to put Swerve and Ricky on opposite sides of the ring for a tag match featuring Okada as Ricky’s partner and King as Swerve’s partner? We’re still getting the contract signing, right? RIGHT???)

So, how are we tonight? On an intra-personal level, this is my second week with my C-PAP/Humidifier, and I thought it would get easier. Some nights though (like Monday/Tuesday) were bad, but I’ll get used to it.

Oh, and the Eagles re-signed Zack Baun and extended Saquon Barkley, which is a big win the whole way around.

And also, oh, be on the lookout Saturday Night/Sunday Morning for my Revolution PPV Preview! I haven’t started it yet (although I REALLY should have), but it will be available this weekend!

With all of that out of the way, let’s get ready to enjoy some good ole professional wrasslin, alright? 😉

Tonight, we are LIVE from Sacramento, California! Makes sense, because we’ll be in Los Angeles this Sunday! Our announcers are Excalibur, Ian Riccaboni, and Taz!

MJF starts us off tonight. Hangman did nothing wrong? He disagrees. You poked and prodded the bear. What MJF did to Christopher Daniels isn’t what he usually does because he wants to take his time with his prey. MJF isn’t hard to find, he is in the streets of Sacramento, and he has a bullet with a name on it.

(NONPOINT REFERENCE)

MJF screams HANGMAN over and over. So yeah, he wants to get crazy lol.

Back in the ring, Tony Schiavone is in fact here! We are going to have the contract signing for this weekend’s match between Swerve Strickland and Ricochet. Prince Nana and Strickland make their way to the ring. Tony reiterates that the winner of this match will become #1 contender for the World Title match as Ricky comes out, wearing a tuxedo and a cap on backwards. It is, of course, an Eagles hat, and I LOVE that! 😉

Ian: That is one Eagles fan I dislike.
Taz: (Wheezes)

Tony says each man will have time to give us a comment. Tony notes that the Embassy robe is not here, where it is? Ricky says don’t worry about it, it is in good hands, and it is getting some upgrades. Nana approaches, but Ricky tells Swerve to get his grandpa. LOL! Ricky has shown up, so Swerve doesn’t have to worry about his house getting burned down again.

Swerve tells Ricky to sign the contract, but Ricky says he has to show off before he does. Swerve is LUCKY to get a rematch, because Strickland stuck his nose in his business, and he mocked Ricky, not the other way around. And what happened? In the face of all of that, he still beat Swerve. That’s why he is mad, that’s why he is upset.

Swerve again tells him to sign the contract. YOU SUCK chants. Ricky is one step closer to winning the World Title. He is focused on Jon Moxley and Cope. He is focused on what he was supposed to be, the AEW World Champion.

Strickland cuts off Ricky. SHUT UP! You are an entitled kid and a real prick. He exposed him as the coward and the fraud that he is and will do it on Sunday. You stole the Embassy robe. You stuck me in the head with scissors. But you left Swerve breathing. And he will be breathing down his neck until he ends Ricky. Awakening the most dangerous man in AEW is a mistake you will live to regret. This Sunday at Revolution, he carves his path to the World Title and will run through and bury him. Two things they will remember about Ricky was Swerve reviving his career, and his ring announcer wife.

Oh, that got Ricky mad. He’s not laughing anymore lol. HOLY SHIT chant, as Ricky sneaks up on Swerve! He has scissors! Swerve blocks him! He has his own scissors! He stabs Ricky in the forehead!

Well, this sets the table for that tag team match, which is the main event tonight.

The guys run down the rest of the card for tonight. Ian kind of looks like he is high or something lol.

We have a big announcement. Starting this Sunday with Revolution, AEW PPVs will be available on Prime Video! Well, as long as it doesn’t cost 50 dollars, I’m on board!

Big 8-man random tag generator will get the action underway!

But first. COMMERCIALS!

Will Ospreay, Orange Cassidy, Powerhouse Hobbs, & Mark Briscoe vs. Lance Archer, Brian Cage, Mark Davis, & the Bad Apple Bryan Keith
Cage and Ospreay to start. And we already have a FUCK DON CALLIS chant as Cage flexes with Ospreay before throwing him to the corner. Cage with shoulders and a clothesline. Cage has his powerbomb reversed by a hurrincanrana. DDT from Ospreay, and Briscoe tags in. RED NECK KUNG-FU FROM BRISCOE! Forearms from Briscoe, Cage with a back body drop, but Briscoe lands on his feet! Enziguri and Briscoe lands corner punches on Cage. Ospreay tags in. He lands the corner punches! Hobbs now in, it’s his turn! Cassidy in now, he lands one punch and celebrates LOL! Cage has had ENOUGH and floors Cassidy with a clothesline. Cassidy with the Stundog Millionaire, it’s blocked and Cage hits a sidewalk slam. Cage finally tags out to Archer. Archer smacks Cassidy, holds his hand, and lifts him up. Cassidy begs off so he can put his hand in his pocket. Cassidy fires up, but Davis hits him in the back. Archer with a Bossman Slam as we go to PIP Break.

PIP Thoughts:
-March Madness because, yeah, it’s March.
-Also, the women of the WNBA are having 3-team matches.
-Fuck the Celtics. Signed, a Pacers fan.
-Applebee’s leaning into the Cajun food for Mardi Gras.
-Speaking of food, Factor!
-Hey, it’s Jamie!
-Gronk is here with his Pizza Hut! Bundle Bros!
-KEEP IT TWISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTED!
-Real Guy + Joe Schmo = LAME!

We’re back, as a majority of the time during PIP was Archer beating the shit out of Cassidy. As we return, we see Callis stomp Cassidy on the floor while Ospreay has distracted the ref. Archer has Cassidy in a stalled vertical. He tags in Cage, and he takes over. He takes in Davis, and he takes over. It’s hot Orange lol. Davis finally hits the vertical suplex for a two-count. Keith tags in, his suplex attempt is fought off by Cassidy. Davis tags in, trying to cut off Cassidy. It’s no good, as Hobbs tags in. Hobbs charges and knocks Archer and Cage off the apron before running over Davis. MEAT chants. Both Cage and Archer are in. Hobbs bounces between them until the Murder Machines take over. But they hit each other with clotheslines, and Hobbs takes them both out. He hits Davis with a release German, and Davis is in trouble, as the train is running lol. Here comes Cassidy on the back of Hobbs, LOL! Ospreay takes out Archer on the floor! Cassidy with the lazy elbow off the shoulders of Hobbs! Hobbs with the cover, broken up by Keith. Keith chips Hobbs to no effect. YOU FUCKED UP CHANTS. Davis says Keith by clotheslining him. Keith back in for real. He tries to move Hobbs but again, he fails. Ospreay tags in, springboard elbow. OSCUTTER to Cage who tries to sneak in. Ospreay rolls up Keith for a two-count. Davis is in to stop this.

It is not time for everyone to get their shit in lol.

Cassidy is the last man standing, as he hits Cage in the ring with a DDT, and then a dive through the ropes with another DDT. Cassidy up top, Keith cuts him off with an Avalanche Exploder. Briscoe in, he trades forearms with Keith. Boots are countered. Flying back elbow and a release German by Briscoe. Archer comes in and kills Briscoe. He brings the chair into the ring and scares Paul Turner out of the ring. Briscoe smacks the chair into the face of Archer. Mark sets the chair up, senton flip over the top onto Archer and Cage! Back in the ring, OSCUTTER by Ospreay to Keith! Hidden Blade, and that’s it!
WINNER: Will Ospreay, Mark Briscoe, Orange Cassidy, and Powerhouse Hobbs
TIME: 15:00
THOUGHTS: Not a bad 8-man match. Obviously, the faces winning was the right call going into the PPV.
RATING: ***1/2

Post-match, the heels are bad losers and attack the faces. Davis chokes out Ospreay while Archer and Cage hit their tag team finisher on Hobbs onto the ring steps. Kyle Fletcher is out and slowly makes his way to the ring. Archer and Cage hold Ospreay as Fletcher beats Ospreay down. Some woman screams in the crowd, and Davis has seen enough. He gets in Fletcher’s face, and Kyle tells him to listen to him and do what he says. Davis picks up the chair, he contemplates and hits Ospreay in the back with the chair. Davis leaves the ring and walks up the ramp as Fletcher sets the chair up. SHEER DROP BRAIN BUSTER ONTO THE CHAIR. As the legendary John Danzig would say:

GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

Fletcher poses over Ospreay, as Excalibur runs down some of the matches for this Sunday. We get a video package for Kenny Omega and Konosuke Takeshita. While the International Title is on the line, Takeshita does have Omega’s number, having beaten him two times in two weeks at All-Out and then All-In in 2023.

COMMERCIALS!

We’re back, as Wheeler Yuta enters the arena from the streets of Sacramento for his match.

Cope (Just Cope) vs. Wheeler Yuta
Tepid start to this one considering all of the events leading up to this point. This is further emphasized by the opening lock-up. GET A CHAIR CUT chants now, and I am fairly sure it’s NOT for Cope LOL. Cope takes Yuta to the corner a second time, Yuta tries a cheap shot, but Cope catches the leg and puts it down. What a nice guy. Yuta picks the leg of Cope and snaps the knee of Cope. YUTA SUCKS chants, as Cope has arm control. Yuta fights out, but Cope responds with a clothesline. Cope and Yuta exchange roll-up pin attempts, Yuta with the ankle lock, but Cope shifts to his back and kicks Yuta off. Cope applies an arm bar to Yuta. Yuta to his feet. He takes Cope to the corner with chops. Yuta with two arm drags and a drop kick. Yuta charges the corner, but Cope escapes and goes under Yuta to the floor. He drops Yuta face first off the apron as we go to PIP.

PIP Thoughts:
-Forget March Madness, the NBA is marching on.
-Schmo Blow.
-Advil your liver away!
-Golden Corral has some really lame commercials.
-BK, have it your way, YOU RULE!
-Oh yeah, I still need to see the third Sonic film.
-I want to see a pile of Post-it notes walking around.
-I need to know if that doctor in the America’s Best commercial is a real one or not, for reasons.
-Dawn says DUCK!
-KEEP IT TWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWISTED!
-NHL on TNT, Wednesdays only!

We’re back, as Yuta has Cope grounded. Cope up, but Yuta with an ANGLE SLAM! Cover for a two-count. Yuta to the top, but Cope is up, he slaps Yuta. Cope with shots to the back of Yuta, but Wheeler responds with his own. He headbutts Cope from the top, Yuta with a frog splash for a two count. Cattle Mutilation is countered as Cope locks on the cross face. Yuta turns and rolls up Cope for a two-count. Both men up, Cope-A-Cution by Cope! SPEAR attempt by Cope is met with a Busaiku Knee from Yuta! Cope to the floor, but Yuta rolls him back in. Cover for a two-count. Cattle Mutilation for real this time, although Cope battles up and hits a Glam Slam in ode to his wife to break the hold. Yuta tries his wrap around the bottom rope, but he is met with a SPEAR by Cope for the win!
WINNER: Cope (Just Cope)
TIME: 11:30
THOUGHTS: It was fine, not great, but fine. I don’t think anyone expected Yuta to win, but the post-match handshake showed some new level of drama.
RATING: ** 3/4

Post-match, Cope on the mic. Cope pulls up Yuta and shakes his hand. Cope says this is what respect looks like, as Cope leaves the ring, and Yuta looks on confused. You can see that because Yuta actually pulled his hair back to emote his feelings. Jon Moxley is here now. He has lost his mind as he berates Yuta. He shoves him a couple of times. Yuta smacks Moxley and leaves the ring. LOL. Moxley leaves the ring to give chase to Yuta. Moxley follows him to the back and tells Yuta to keep walking. Congratulations, Cope, you have Moxley all by himself now. You think you can pick him off? He has rattled him, and he has gotten to him. What are you going to do to Jon Sunday at Revolution? NOTHING! You deserve your ass beat, Cope, and it will make him feel good. There is no respect in this business, there never has been. You get respect when you can pull the trigger on someone. You have to pull the trigger on Moxley ten times. All Jon has to do is pull the trigger once.

We cut away now to run down more Revolution matches. We get a promo for the Outrunners! It’s a music video from 1987! Amazing! It sure has kept its quality intact!

(You know The Hurt Syndicate will kill them, but you have to be happy for the Youngest Team ever!)

MJF is still seen walking around. Here is Renee Paquette to get a word. He knew that Hangman was a coward, but at Revolution, MJF is going to beat his ass. We see an SUV pull up with bullhorns on it. It’s Hangman Page! He chases MJF into the arena. He attacks “MJF” from behind and throws “MJF” into the barricade. It’s not him though, as it is a plant. The real MJF attacks, as they fight into the ring. Page tries the Buckshot Lariat, but MJF stops it with a kick to the balls. Heat Seeker from MJF. He takes off his shirt to reveal an “MJF did nothing wrong” shirt lol. MJF attacks, and here comes the most useless security of all time, AEW Security, as MJF easily dispatches of them. It’s a ploy to allow Page to recoup, as MJF puts on the ring, but Page with a double leg takedown. MJF back to his feet, but he still hits him with the ring. MJF gets the mic. You love when Page burns things, right? We’ll see how you hypocrites feel when he does it. MJF gets a can of lighter fluid from under the ring. He drenches Page with it and goes to light the match, but he comes with more Security and holy shit, they actually tackle MJF and carry MJF out of the ring! MJF screams let him prove his point and everyone is a hypocrite.

COMMERCIALS!

We’re back, as Excalibur says they do not condone what MJF did in the ring. We go to the back with Lexy Nair has the director of the Queen of the Ring film. He explains it is about Mildred Burke and wrestling as a single mother. Here comes Toni Storm. She doesn’t understand why her gratuitous nude scene was cut, and the guy says it is a PG-13 film. Anyway, she is ready to go face-to-face with Mariah May tonight. Head up, Tits out, and go watch Queen of the Ring, this Friday in theaters!

Kris Statlander and Thunder Rosa make their entrance for the following match.

Kris Statlander and Thunder Rosa vs. Megan Bayne and Penelope Ford
Statlander and Ford will start us off, as Excalibur mentions that this match is brought to us by Queen of the Ring. Statlander throws Ford down as she mocks Bayne. Ford tries to take advantage with a headlock takedown, but Statlander reverses by doing a headstand and a low clothesline. Rosa is tagged in, but she tags out after a hammer throw to the corner. Rosa tagged right back in. Ford reverses however and hits a leapfrog onto the back of Rosa. Cover for a two-count. Rosa drops Ford and hits a clothesline against the bottom rope. Bayne enters the ring and hits a big boot on Statlander to the floor. Rosa tries a crossbody, but she throws Rosa out of the ring right onto Statlander. Bayne then picks up her own partner and throws her out onto Kris and Rosa. Bayne poses as we go to PIP Break.

But, I have to stress and emphasize, there is NO PIP thoughts during the women’s matches.

We’re back, as Bayne hits a flying clothesline on Rosa. Cover for a two-count. Excalibur reminds us that Prime Video will have AEW PPV shows starting with Revolution. Rosa tries to chop down Bayne, and she finally brings her down a knee with an enziguri. Kris tags in, she hits a missile drop kick, sending Bayne to the corner where Ford tags in. Kris gets both women to hit each other, as Rosa hits a Michanoku Driver for a two count. Double teamwork by Kris and Rosa on Ford. Bayne is in now, as both women work her over. Scissor kick by Statlander and Bayne is sent to the floor. Kris to the top, but Ford cuts her off and drops her to the apron. Ford poses, but Rosa grabs Ford and brings her into the ring. Bayne is back now, and they try to double-team Rosa. She gets the boot up on Ford and tries to chop both Ford and Bayne down. Rosa cut off by Bayne as she hits Fate’s Descent (the F-5) for the win!
WINNER: Megan Bayne and Penelope Ford
TIME: 10:00
THOUGHTS: The only other option here was for Ford to take the pin, as Bayne has no business losing just yet. A real good match, with all four women showing their best.
RATING: ***1/4

Renee welcome in Four Belts Mone. Sacramento! Say hello to your C-E-O! Mone says Momo Wantanabe is legit. She has beaten some of the best to get this chance, but you know there is no stopping the Mone Train! Apparently, Momo is facing Serena Deeb on Collision. Mone says Deeb is the woman of a thousand holds and she will break Momo for her. Mone changes everything!

The Best Wrestler Alive, Max Caster is here now. He even gets Platinum from Justin Roberts lol. He rips off MJF with the CUT MY MUSIC bit. Sacramento! You are looking at the Best Wrestler Alive! Platinum Max is the most talked about wrestler in AEW. He has Maxamaniacs? Wow, okay. Delusional Caster is the best. He wants all his fans to get on the same page. LET’S GO MAX, YOU’RE THE BEST WRESTLER ALIVE! That was a really good effort, but they won’t get it right on day one. He knows why they call this place Sac Town because these fans are ball bags.

Jay White is here to accept the open challenge, as Caster has a fit and dumps in his nappy of fear!

Max Caster’s Open Challenge: Switchblade Jay White vs. Max Caster
YOU FUCKED UP chants before the bell rings. Caster grabs his certificate and tries to get the chant going. Caster runs into the Bladerunner, he taunts the chant and a cover for a three.
WINNER: Switchblade Hay White
TIME: 40 seconds
THOUGHTS: LOL
RATING: N/R

Post-match, White gets the mic. White and Cope have each other’s backs in this fight with the Death Riders. But now Moxley is all alone, but at Revolution, he will be there to see the NEW AEW World Champion, Cope.

Gee, you don’t think he might turn on Cope, right?

We go to our sit-down between Mariah May and Toni Storm with Renee moderating. Although they agreed to no physicality, May spits on Storm, and she says it’s nice to know you still care. LOL! Renee says May started this by entering Toni’s life. May says she doesn’t deserve the title because she survived her in Australia. She will prove to her that she is the Woman from hell and she is going to drag her down. Isn’t this what Toni wanted? A trilogy with the woman who makes her? Toni says this is what May deserves. People will like you but never love you. You will be replaced and forgotten. In years to come, people will ask whatever happened to Mariah? You can’t kill a God like Toni. That causes May and Storm to stand up and get in each other’s faces. Renee, stuck in the middle, says she prays neither one of them gets injured, but Toni implores her to pray for Mariah.

COMMERCIALS!

We’re back as it is main event time!

Ricochet and AEW Continental Champion Kazuchika Okada vs. Swerve Strickland and Brody King
Apparently, Ricky is good to go after getting stabbed in the forehead with scissors earlier. They always told us as kids don’t run with scissors, ya know.

(Also, we’re starting this match with six minutes till 10, so I wonder how much overrun there will be).

Strickland and Okada will start us off. Strickland wants a test of strength, but Okada with the hammerlock. Okada takes Swerve to the corner, and Okada pats Swerve on the chest. Strickland wants Ricochet in the ring, and he accepts the tag. But it’s a TRAP, as Okada jumps Swerve from behind. Rick Knox holds King back, but he lets that go. Well, alright. Strickland has had enough, as he kicks Okada out of the ring and throws Ricky to the floor. On the floor, King whips Strickland into Ricochet, who is in the chair. Okada goes to kick Strickland, but he kicks Ricky instead. Both men are sat in the chair, as King squashes both of them. KIND HAS BOTH OKADA AND RICKY ON HIS SHOULDERS! DOUBLE SWERVE STOMP BY STRICKLAND! That was damn impressive strength. Back in the ring, and Ricky gets wrecked by a King senton splash and an elbow from the top by Strickland. Ricky finally turns the tables and chop blocks Strickland. Cover for a two-count as we take our final PIP break.

PIP Thoughts:
-March Madness, haven’t you heard?
-Are you still keeping it TWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWISTED?
-Febreze with the microchip is really good, it lasts a long time.
-Kinder chocolate is actually good.
-Fuck this Know-it-all guy.
-Hotel? Trivago!
-With Novocaine, you feel no pain!
-This is the fourth time we have gotten this Applebee’s commercial.
-Ebgylss, it will stop eczema, but it’s worth it to suffer eye problems!

We’re back, as Ricky and Okada are now in control against Strickland and King. As if on cue, though, Okada misses a corner splash, and Okada eats a dropkick from Strickland. King gets the tag, so does Ricky, as he goes flying over the head of King. He clotheslines Okada to the mat and eats the chops from Ricky. King slams Okada on top of Ricky and hits a senton splash. King with a DVD on Okada, but Ricky breaks the pin-up. King throws Ricky to the floor, but Ricky catches King with an enziguri. Okada goes up for the elbow drop, but Okada rolls through. King hits a clothesline and tags in Strickland. Ricky tags in, but then wants to take Okada back in, but he’s not there. Strickland takes it to Ricky. Ricky fights back with kicks, Strickland tries to hit a powerbomb on Ricky, but he counters with a DDT. Cover for a two-count. THIS IS AWESOME chants. Ricky loads up the Spirit Gun, but he misses. Ricky tries Vertigo, but Strickland counters out. Flatliner by Strickland! The House Call follows. Strickland to the top, Swerve Stomp! The cover, but Okada goes up top and hits the elbow drop to break it up. King is in, he trades with Okada. Rainmaker is blocked by a big boot. King with a splash in the corner. ARF! ARF! ARF! He goes for the corner cannonball, but Okada bails out. Okada grabs his title belt, looks to hit King, but Strickland hits him with a House Call. This allows Ricky to hit Swerve with the title belt! The cover, Ricky has beaten Swerve again!
WINNER: Kazuchika Okada and Ricochet
TIME: 14:30
THOUGHTS: Not a bad main event. Both teams showed amazing chemistry, more so Strickland and King. Could this telegraph the events of Sunday, when they have singles matches?
RATING: ***1/2

Post-match, Okada and Ricky celebrate on the ramp. And with that, we are done.

7.5

The final score: review Good

The 411

A solid and serviceable episode of Dynamite, as we have hit Go-Home episode before Revolution this Sunday. Tag team action was the name of the game tonight, but promos were also strong, none more so than the continuing and ever-changing dynamic between Toni Storm and Mariah May. Revolution should be amazing, and Dynamite helped to reenforce the structure of that.