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* AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle
* Madison Rayne vs. Angelina Love for the TNA Knockouts Title
* Matt Morgan vs. Pope Dinero vs. Ken Anderson
* Jeff Hardy vs. Mystery Opponent
* The Motor City Machineguns vs. Beer Money in a Best 2 Out of 3 Falls Match
* Rob Van Dam vs. Abyss in a Stairway to Janice Match
Hey, before this Impact gets started, I just want to let everyone know that the Hogan Heads, along with Vince Heads, do NOT equal star ratings. I’ve seen some confusion over this in the comments section and I’d just thought I’d remind everyone about this. Now then, let’s get started, as this is the closest I’ll ever get to recapping a PPV. And for good reason.
-We kick things off immediately in the Impact Zone. Tonight, Hogan promises a special surprise. Don’t forget, Reaction airs after Impact.
Match 1: Kurt Angle (#8) vs TNA World Television Champion AJ Styles (#6)
Remember, this is a non title bout. AJ’s sporting that new tatoo. AJ starts thing off immediately, bum rushing Angle, and then throwing him to the outside. Stomps by AJ, and now forearm shots. AJ breaks the count. He runs at Angle, but gets caught with a belly to belly suplex. Back in the ring as AJ gets a knee. He runs off the ropes but gets caught with a tilt a whirl backbreaker. Pin but only two. AJ goes to the throat, and then throws Angle shoulder first into the ring post. Plancha by Styles follows. Back in the ring again as Angle starts fighting back with the rights. AJ jumps over but gets caught in a rear waist lock. He flips out of a german, ducks under and hits the dropkick. Pin but only two. Chinlock by Styles. Angle counters into an Ankle Lock attempt, but Styles pushes him off. Angle with a big back suplex, and now both guys are down. Clotheslines by Angle. AJ with a boot in the corner. He charges but gets hit with a belly to belly suplex again. Angle ducks a shot and hits a german. And he gets another. Trifecta. Pin but only two. AJ pushes out of an Ankle Lock attempt. Angle elevates Styles onto the apron. FLYING FOREARM!! 1…2…2.956!!! Styles Clash coming up, but Angle counters with a backdrop. Angle Slam countered, Styles ducks a clotheslines and PELE!!! 1…2…2.85435!!! Styles goes up to the top, presumably for the Spiral Tap. Angle gets up but AJ jumps over. MOONSAULT BY ANGLE!!! Pin but only two. Angle goes for the Ankle Lock, and he gets it. AJ rolls through, sending Angle into the turnbuckle. Styles on the apron.He goes springboard, but Angle cuts him off. Suplex attempt, but Styles gets a knee. Double springboard into the Phenomenon by AJ. Pin but only two. AJ argues with the ref, and Angle uses that opening to hit the Angle Slam! 1…2…NO! Angle with a rear waist lock. Styles goes for the low blow, but Angle catches it and locks in the Ankle Lock!!! Awesome counter. Angle grapevines the leg, and AJ has no choice but to tap.
Winner : Kurt Angle (Great way to kick off the show. This wasn’t as good as their encounters earlier in the year, mainly because it was shorter, but this was still a great match)
-Up next, Angelina Love challenges Madison Rayne for the Knockout’s Championship.
Match 2: Angelina Love vs Madison Rayne© – TNA Knockout’s Championship
Madison hides behind the ref as the bell rings. Slap by Madison, and she goes on the attack. Angelina counters a right with forearms. Boot in the corner by Angelina. Madison catches the boots, throws them onto the ropes, and then throws Angelina down into the mat. Knees by Madison on a front facelock, and a spinning neckbreaker follows. Madison wraps the legs around the head and starts slamming the head of Angelina into the mat. Pin but only two. Angelina with a jawbreaker. Angelina’s making a comeback. Jumping lariat connects. Botox Injection follows. And here’s the motorcycle chick. The ref tells her to leave. Velvet just killed her with a chair shot. She goes to take the helmet off. Madison nails Angelina with the Knockout’s title. Pin but only two. Velvet got the helmet off, but shes got a mask on. She runs away. Angelina counters a Rayne Drop with the Lights Out. Pin and it’s over.
Winner : Angelina Love (Alright match here. It was too short to be anything offensive. This was more to put over the angle, which is fine with me)
-Tenay hypes up Hogan’s surprise. Up next, it’s Mr. Anderson vs Matt Morgan vs D’Angelo Dinero.
MMRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! Anderson appears on the stage, and he calls for the mic. “Good evening assholes. And gentlemen. I hail from Greenbay Wisconsinah!! And I might be picking up some of that free cheddar on the way to the ring there. MRRR!!!! Come on, you can do better than that. MRRRRR!!! ANDERSONAH!!!”
Match 3: Mr. Anderson (#3) vs Matt Morgan vs D’Angelo Dinero (#9) – Three Way match
Dinero and Anderson attack Morgan and drive him into the corner. Shots by Dinero all over. Anderson wraps the leg around the ropes and drop kicks it. STO by Dinero. Pin but Anderson breaks it up. Both guys trade covers and keep breaking them up. Morgan with a double goozle, but Dinero and Anderson counter. Double clothesline by Morgan. Dinero ducks a boot and gets crotched on the top. Anderson kicks the rope. Dinero elbows Anderson by accident. He then goes to the second rope and takes out Morgan with a missile dropkick. Anderson with a right hand, and both guys now trade shots. Diner runs off the ropes by Anderson gets the Lou Thesz press. He runs off the ropes and hits the elbow. Pin but only two. Morgan’s watching on from out side, clapping both guys on. Dinero counters a GBP with a Five Up. Anderson counters the Codebreaker. Mic Check follows. Pin but Morgan kicks Anderson in the face. Pin and Morgan steals it.
Winner : Matt Morgan (Meh, it was pretty short, but a solid effort from all three. Again, this was mainly storyline advancement which is alright, as long as it leads somewhere)
-Here comes Jeff Hardy, who’s hosting an open invitational. Moore says Hardy looked shocked. Hardy is one of the greatest in the world. Win, lose or draw, they’re leaving here brothers.
Match 4: Jeff Hardy (#2) vs Shannon Moore
Tie up, and Moore works the arm. Hardy counters, Moore flips over and locks in the headlock. Hardy pushes off but gets shoulder blocked. Arm drag by Hardy, and one by Moore. Another tie up, and Moore pushes Hardy into the corner. Shoulder blocks by Moore. Hardy floats over Moore in the corner and gets a hip toss. Wheelbarrow kick by Hardy. Moore avoiding Hardy in each corner, and Hardy goes flying to the outside. Running plancha by Moore. Back in the ring as Moore hits Hardy with a moonsault. Pin but only two. Suplex by Moore follows. Pin but again only two. Sleeper locked in by Moore. Hardy gets up and fights out but to no avail. Moore elevates Hardy onto the apron. He goes for a sunset flip powerbomb, but Hardy holds on. Moore instead trips the legs, and Hardy lands face first on the apron. Moore charges Hardy, Hardy backdrops him onto the ropes, and Moore falls down into the head scissors. Back in the ring as Moore covers, but again only gets two. Another sleeper locked in by Moore. Hardy fights out and counters an irish whip with a clothesline. Boots in the corner by Hardy. Whisper in the Wind follows. Pin but only two. Twist of Fate coming up. It connects. Hardy goes up to the top. Swanton countered with the knees. Pin but only two. Moore puts Hardy up on the top. Supercanrana coming up, but Hardy holds on. Swanton connects! Forget about it.
Winner : Jeff Hardy (Good for Hardy to put over Moore, as Moore was in control for most of the offense. I’m wondering if this is gonna go anywhere though. Moore’s sort of been growing on me, and I might be able to get behind a push for him. Still, this was a pretty good match as both guys know each other pretty well and have some decent chemistry)
Match 5: Beer Money vs Motor City Machine Guns© – 2 Out Of 3 Falls match – Match 5 in Best of 5 Series – TNA World Tag Team Championship
I think I’m gonna have arthritis by the end of this. But god damn have I been anticipating this. Sabin and Shelley lay down the belts and stare off against Beer Money. Crowd’s going nuts. Sabin and Storm start things off. Storm pokes the eyes and works down the arm. Sabin flips through but Storm pulls him back down. Sabin kips up but gets locked in a headlock. Shoulder block by Storm. Sabin with a trip and pin. Storm trips and pins. Both guys catch each others kicks. They put their feet down and we’re at a stalemate. Shelley and Roode get the tags. Tie up, and Roode pushes Shelley into the corner. Cheap shot by Roode. Both guys trade chops. Roode pokes the eyes. Shelley with a shoulder block. Roode ducks under, but Shelley drops an elbow. Shelley catches a kick and gets a leg sweep. Head scissors follows. Shelley runs off the ropes but gets hit with a tilt a whirl backbreaker. Pin but only two. Scoop slam countered, but Roode counters. Roll up but Sabin got the tag and hits a bulldog. Storm runs in but gets hit with stereo kicks. Atomic drop to Roode, dropkick to the knee, Shelley floats over and Sabin nails the dropkick. Pin but only two. Knee by Roode, and Storm gets the tag. Right hands by Storm. Sabin fights back and knocks Roode off the apron. Sabin runs off the ropes by Roode trips the legs. He puts Sabin’s head on the outside and Storm nails a boot. Back on the inside as Storm gets the tag. He stomps the hand. Right hands in the corner. Roode gets the tag. Scoop slam by Roode, Storm drops an elbow and Roode drops a knee. Pin but Shelley runs in and pokes Roode’s eyes. Roode remains in control though. Sabin counters a right with some of his own. Sabin floats over in the corner and goes for the tag, but Roode grabs him by the leg. Dragon Whip by Sabin. Shelley gets the hot tag. Reverse STO to Roode in the corner. Clotheslines/bulldog combo by Shelley to Beer Money. Pin but Storm breaks it up. Roode goes slingshot, but Shelley hits Storm with a forearm. Sabin with a DDT/Reverse STO combo while Sabin hit the missile dropkick. Legsweep by Sabin onto the apron to Storm. Shelley with a double foot stomp. Boot to Roode. I can’t keep up with this. Roode gets sent to the outside. Suicide dive by Shelley as Sabin hits the springboard crossbody. Sabin and Storm brawl on the apron. Storm with a hangmans DDT on the apron to Sabin. Awesome. Shelley goes to the top, but Roode runs up, but Shelley knocks him down. Double foot stomp misses. Gutbuster by Roode, backcracker by Storm. DWI!!! Forget about it.
First Fall: Beer Money
Second fall begins immediately as Roode brings down the stomps. Pin but Shelley kicks out quick. Tag to Storm and they double team Shelley. Tag to Roode. Double suplex. You know what time it is. BEER!! MOHNAY!!! Sabin gets the tag. Missile dropkick off the top takes both out. MCMG Sandwhich to Roode in the corner. Tag to Shelley. Neckbreaker/Splash combo!!! Forget about it.
Second Fall: Motor City Machine Guns
Third fall begins immediately. Roode catches a running kick by Sabin on the apron and sweeps the leg. Roode backdrops Storm over the top and onto Sabin. Shelley ducks a clothesline by Roode and hits Storm with a suicide dive. ROODE WITH A FLIP DIVE!! We’re going to commercial.
We’re back. Roode kills Sabin with a clothesline. Forearms by Shelley. Discuss countered as Roode hits an assisted swinging Rock Bottom. Pin but only two. “Match of the year” chant. Right hands by Roode in the corner. Storm gets the tag. Clothesline in the corner by Roode, and then one by Storm. Storm lifts Shelley to the top. Shelley drops Storm into the tree of woe. Diving foot stomp by Shelley. Both guys are down now. Sabin and Roode get the tags. Running forearms by Sabin. Sabin with a boot in the corner. Diving hurricanrana follows. Baseball slide to Storm. SPRINGBOARD TORNADO DDT TO ROODE!!! 1…2…2965!!!! Roode rakes the eyes and tags in Storm. Sabin counters a scoop slam. Kick to Roode. MAGIC KILLER TO STORM!!! Pin but only two. ASCS Rush coming up. Storm with a superkick to Shelley, but Sabin nails the enzuigiri anyways. Spinebuster by Roode to Sabin. Slingshot/DDT combo to Sabin follows. Sliced Bread by Shelley countered into an assissted hangmans jawbreaker. DWI coming up to Sabin. Sabin pushes Storm off. Superkick by Storm misses and he hits Roode. Neckbreaker/Splash combo to Storm! 1…2…NO!!! Holy shit this is awesome. Shelley yelling at Sabin to do it again. NECKBREAKER/SPLASH COMBO AGAIN!!! 1…2…3!!!
Winner : Motor City Machine Guns (Basically, this is probably the best Impact match ever. These guys went balls out and somehow managed to top all of their previous matches. Just pure, awesome, stuff)
Pyro goes off as the Guns celebrate their win.
-Up next. RVD defends the TNA World Heavyweight Championship against Abyss in a Ladder match.
Match 6: Abyss (#1) vs Rob Van Dam© – Stairway to Janice match – Special Guest Referee Eric Bischoff – TNA World Heavyweight Championship
I really don’t think there’s any way in hell these two can follow up that last match. Rob charges to the ring as Abyss is already climbing. Rob with a diving thrust kick to the ladder off the top, sending Abyss flying. Mounted punches in the corner by RVD. Rob catches a kick and nails the windmill kick. He picks up the ladder and rams it into Abyss’ gut. And he does it again. Bulldog by Rob, dropping Abyss onto the ladder. Rolling Thunder attempt, but Abyss rolls out of the way and Rob lands on the ladder. Abyss goes to the outside with the ladder. Baseball slide by RVD and we’re going to commercial.
We’re back, and Abyss has the ladder set up from the ring to the guardrail. Abyss goes to chokeslam Rob off the apron onto it, but RVD fights out. Abyss clotheslines Rob back into the ring. Abyss drives a ladder into the gut of Rob. And again he does it. Abyss sets the ladder up against Rob. He charges, but RVD throws the ladder into him. He then pushes Abyss into the corner with the ladder leaning against him. He runs up the ladder and hits the dropkick. Standing moonsault onto the ladder by Rob. Rolling monkey flip attempt, but Abyss throws Rob onto the mat. Abyss sets up the ladder in the middle of the ring and starts to climb. He starts climbing. Rob starts climbing too, and they trade shots on the top. Abyss goozles Rob, and chokslams him off. Abyss lost his balance though and falls off too. Abyss for some reason rolls to the outside and grabs a bag. He spills the tacks into the ring, and there’s glass in there too. He sets Rob up on the top and goes for a superplex, though Abyss would be the one landing on the tacks. Rob fights out and hits a sunset flip powerbomb onto the tacks! Though he barely landed on them. Both guys back up. Rob runs off the ropes but gets killed with a boot. Abyss goes back to the outside and grabs a barbed wire board. He throws it into the ring and sets it up against the corner. Rob with forearm shots. Rob stops short of being thown into the board. Abyss charges but misses and goes up against the board. It’s tuck to him. Springboard kick by Rob. Rolling Thunder follows onto the barbed wire board! Rob sets a ladder up in the middle of the ring. He starts to climb. Abyss gets back up and pushes the ladder over, knocking Van Dam to the outside where his face hit the other ladder on the way down. Abyss starts to climb. He’s pulling on Janice, and she comes down. But apparently the match isn’t over? I wish someone told us this match could only end in pinfall. Abyss throws Rob back into the ring. Abyss picks up Janice. YOU!! Rob avoids the shot, and it gets stuck in the corner. Rob goes to the outside and grabs a chair. Chair shot to the back of Abyss. Van Daminator follows. Abyss is seated in the corner. Rob puts the barbed wire board against his face. He takes the chair and goes up to the top on the other side. VAN TERMINATOR!!! He dead. Rob goes back up to the top. Five Star! Bischoff counts the three.
Winner : Rob Van Dam (Really good match between these two, as they just stuck to their hardcore origins and came up with some really innovative spots. Plus, any match with the Van Terminator is a win. The only thing that brings this down is a) I had no idea this had to end with a pinfall, thus making the stipulation confusing, and b) why was Bischoff made the special guest ref? Minor gripes aside, this was a really good match between these two)
-Up next, Hulk Hogan has a special surprise. After Impact tonight is Reaction, which is the show that picks up where Impact left off. Speaking of Hogan, here he comes. Rob’s standing on top of the ladder with his belt as Hogan makes his way to the ring. We’re gonna find out what he has to say when we come back.
We’re back, and Hogan and RVD are in the ring. Hogan says he thinks everybody knows why Rob is their leader. He’s been around the block a couple of times, but he’s never seen an athelete like Rob, and he’s taking this company all the way to the top. When he saw the champ in the ring against Sabu, who he considers the most dangerous man in the business, and take over that situation, he realized Rob has all of the basis covered, and that’s why TNA is the #1 company in the business today. HardCore Justice raised the bar. He thanks Dixie Carter for taking him somewhere he’s never been before. When he saw RVD in the ring with EV2, when he saw Rhino Gore the whole world, Sabu do his things, teach him what it was about, his respect level went through the roof. They gave an adrenaline rush to TNA that it needed to take them to the next level. Dixie Carter invited Rob’s friends here tonight. They watched his title match. He would like to bring out EV2.0. And here they come. Dreamer, Richards, 3D, Foley, Tony Mamaluke, Guido, Rhino, Sabu, Alfonso. Hogan says he came to TNA because he was looking for a higher ground. They could go somewhere even Hogan hasn’t been before. Dreamer and his band of misfits took them to that place. He bows down to EV2, and gives them the ring and respect they deserve. Dreamer says Sunday, they raised the bar, and tonight, Beer Money, Machine Guns, RVD, Abyss, they showed that the bar has been raised even more. When Dreamer came up with the master plan, it was to create a positive buzz for TNA. He thanks Dixie. “Thank you Dixie” chant. It was an honor to bleed and sweat with each and every one of them. He thanks them all. The lights have gone out. Fortune, Morgan and Williams show up behind them with weapons. They start taking all of the EV2.0 guys out. Raven runs down to the ring but Storm kills him with a beer bottle. Sandman’s in the crowd, but he’s not really doing anything. God Sandman, do you even care or are you just too fat. He comes down to ringside and like an idiot poses to the crowd, allowing Williams to take him out from behind. Abyss is back out and pulls RVD out of the ring. They start brawling on the outside. Abyss and RVD continue their brawl through the crowd and to the back. Flair now makes his way out to the ring with a big smile on his face. We see Abyss in the back and Rob is covered in blood. That was fast. Flair gets in Dixie’s face and says this is all her fault. We fade out.
Reaction is continuing the coverage of this angle.
