wrestling / Columns

Csonka: There Will Never Be Another Bobby Heenan

September 17, 2017 | Posted by Larry Csonka
Bobby Heenan Image Credit: WWE

Fate, coincidence, some may not believe in these things and there are times where I’m not sure where I stand, but instances like this make me believe. On Saturday, I released my latest Q&A column, and in that column I was asked, “Will There Ever Be Another Bobby Heenan?” My response was, Unless there is some super secret government cloning project going on right now, and according to Bo Dallas’ lizard people theories there may be, there will never be another Bobby Heenan. But I do feel that we have come close in some ways over the years. On the managerial side, I think that Larry Sweeney was the closest thing we’ve seen to Heenan, he had the act down perfectly, and added a modern twist to it. Sweeney unfortunately left us way too soon, committing suicide in 2011. #12Large On the commentary side, I honestly believe that Corey Graves has really turned into a modern day Heenan. Graves’ pacing, the fact that it doesn’t feel that he shoves things into commentary unnaturally, he loves his favorites but will bury the shit out of those he hates (Elias, Enzo) at the drop of a hat. Graves feels completely natural, and not over produced even though we know WWE commentary is horribly forced and is in fact over produced. So while I find it highly unlikely that we will ever see a single performer be on the level of Bobby Heenan ever again, we have seem glimpses, and likely will again down the line.

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So I don’t want some to think that this is some knee-jerk reaction to his death, I highly respected Heenan’s work and feel that he obtained near God like status in the industry. I can’t remember the first time I really saw Heenan, I know it was AWA, but I don’t recall specifics. What I do recall is that I hated the man. He was swarmy, boisterous, over confident and I wanted to see him get his ass kicked. He was amazing at his job. I remember seeing him jump to WWF, I remember checking out the shows, and immediately I wanted to see him get his ass kicked in the worst way. The Bobby Heenan character made sure to ruin everything he could, especially when it came to Hulk Hogan and in the WWE

* He wanted to ruin the most popular and loved thing in wrestling, Hulk Hogan.
* He created the Heenan family with the goal to end Hulkamania.
* He had a part in turning one of Hogan’s best friends, Paul Orndorff, against Hogan.
* He turned Andre against Hulk Hogan.
* He buried Hogan on commentary without a second thought.
* He brought in the “real world champion” into WWE to prove Hogan was a fraud.

In just his WWE run, the Bobby Heenan character was the biggest asshole the business had ever seen. Add in to that the fact that he stole Matilda from the Bulldogs and he may as well have been Satan himself in the “WWF Universe.” This is meant as a complete compliment, when it came to being a complete asshole heel, Heenan really had no rival and he didn’t need a lot to accomplish it. And then as I evolved, and as past just a fan and got into writing and wanting to be historian of sorts, it all changed. I discovered Bobby Heenan the wrestler, who was extremely underrated; his bumping, selling and knowledge of when to do and more importantly when not to do things was amazing. But due to injuries, and the fact that I don’t think he was put on earth to be an in ring star, it’s, unfortunately, a footnote. I fully believe that if he had stayed healthy that Heenan would be talked about along with Stevens, Patterson and Bockwinkle as a worker.

But his real road to success was his talking, and not just talking but his ability to get guys over, to make crowds hate him and to basically be a star-making machine. He put guys over in his managing (he was the greatest), he put guys over on commentary and had amazing comedic timing both in and out of the ring. Heenan’s best trait may be the fact that he never took himself too seriously, he was always up for a gag if it put someone over, was entertaining and/or made money. But while he would get so many others over, he was also smart enough to pick his spots, helping himself at the right time to keep his heat and respectability. As a youngster I couldn’t have given a single fuck about Blackjack Lanza, but going back in recent years and seeing his run with Heenan, Heenan made him appear as the baddest man around. His work with Ray Stevens & Nick Bockwinkle, Ray Stevens & Pat Patterson and Nick Bockwinkle are essential viewing if you haven’t seen it; it’s really the genesis of “The Brain” character.

If you haven’t been exposed to his work before WWE, give your self a treat and take a day or a few extra hours and do so, you’ll thank me later. I know I personally have a ton of classic Heenan to catch up on.

As I said in my Q&A, unless there is some cloning project I am unaware of or Heenan’s consciousness has successfully been transferred to an android or cybernetic organism, there will never be another Bobby Heenan. Without a doubt in my mind, Heenan was a character and performer that transcended the business we love. He wasn’t a once in a century performer, he wasn’t a once in a generation performer; there is simply no recreating the magic of a Bobby Heenan. His pre-WWE work gets lost a lot of the time, which is a shame, but as a former wrestler himself he knew everything to do as a manager, and more importantly, what not to do as a manager. As a manager, he managed like a wrestler on the floor. No fear, taking big and then getting an ass kicking for it. When forced into the ring for his comeuppance, Heenan wrestled like a manager, acting timid, lost and not knowing what to do on the way to his ass kicking. His commentary work was great and gave him a third life in the business, wrestler didn’t work out for him due to injuries, so his talking gave him a second career as a manager and then a third on commentary. Heenan was truly a once in a FOREVER performer, and we will see anyone with that combination of talents.

I can only imagine the pain his wife and family are going through, and the same can be said for his friends and peers as we have already seen an incredible outpouring of love and praise for the Brain. And for us, the fans, another legend, another performer we grew up with and loved has passed away. For as much as it hurts, for as sad as it is, I think it was time. He suffered through a battle with cancer, the fallout of that. He fought through reconstructive surgery on his jaw, fought through falls, broken hips and broken shoulders. He fought; he gave the business everything and fought until the end. Bobby, you took the heat for as long as you could, but it was finally time to tag out for good. You did the wrestling world proud; you gave it everything you had for as long as you could. We’ll all miss you, and I love you and cherish the work you left behind. Just reach out, because Gorilla’s been waiting to welcome you home…

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