Csonka’s TNA One Night Only: Live Review 1.08.16

Csonka’s TNA One Night Only: Live Review 1.08.16

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– X-Division Title Match: Champion Tigre Uno defeated Mandrews, DJ Z and Crazzy Steve @ 10:21 via pin [***]
– Rockstar Spud defeated Aiden O’Shea @ 9:33 via pin [½*]
– Mike Bennett defeated Robbie E @ 7:11 via pin [*½]
– #1 Contenders Gauntlet Match: Awesome Kong earned a title shot @ 16:08 [DUD]
– Trevor Lee defeated Pepper Parks @ 8:05 via pin [**½]
– Monster’s Ball: Abyss defeated Grado @ 9:23 via pin [*]
– TNA Tag Team Title Match: Champions The Wolves defeated Kurt Angle and Drew Galloway and Eli Drake and Jesse Godderz defeated @ 10:13 via pin [***½]
– Lashley defeated Tyrus @ 9:30 via pin [*]
– Beer Money defeated Bram and Eric Young @ 15:05 via pin [***½]

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X-Division Title Match: Champion Tigre Uno vs. DJ Z vs. Mandrews vs. Crazzy Steve: It’s nice to see that the X-Division guys are getting some time after being completely ignored on the debut TV show. Considering the location of the tapings, the fact that they did not bring in a new guy (even for one night) and opted to use Crazzy Steve is not good. Hell they left Manik off the tapings. DJ Z’s hair is fantastic tonight. Uno is wearing a shoulder wrap, apparently still having issues from when he injured that same shoulder back at Bound For Glory. Fast paced action to begin things, with lots of guys in and out with the action staying mostly one on one. At about three-minutes in all four were back in and they ran through a lot of moves, leading to all four men being down. The action went to the floor and Mandrews rode his skateboard and hit a head scissors off of it. Uno then hit a huge dive off the top to wipe out the crowd, and then hit a top rope leg drop to Steve for a near fall. Steve ended up running wild on Uno and Mandrews, got a chicken wing on Uno and Mandrews hit a shooting star press for the pin, Oh, it’s an elimination match Nice to know. Steve attacked Uno and put him in the chicken wing on the floor to re-injure the shoulder. Mandrews and DJ Z worked for a bit, some nice back and forth, DJ Z avoided the shooting star press, but Mandrews then rolled him up for the second elimination. Mandrews worked the shoulder of Uno, with Uno trying to fight back with one arm. Mandrews went up top, Uno cut him off and hit a Spanish Fly to score the win and retain the title. It was a fun opening match, it would have been nice if they would have told us it was elimination prior to the beginning of the match, as commentary came off uninformed. The flow was odd early; too much one on one with the others taking a powder, but it was entertaining overall with non-stop action and was a fine way to kick off the show.

– Similar to the Bound For Glory PPV, Shane Helms made his way out to the ring post match. Helms looked at the title and pointed to his watch, teasing a match, before leaving.

– Borash interviews Young and Bram. They hate Storm and Roode, and they plan to take them out tonight.

Aiden O’Shea vs. Rockstar Spud: The bell rings and O’Shea decides he needs to cut a promo. O’Shea says Spud doesn’t want to mess with him and tells him to take a walk and get counted out. O’Shea talked for over two-minutes a she kept telling Spud to take a walk and calling him a mutt. Spud teased leaving as O’Shea rambled on. Spud gave him the middle finger and O’Shea then attacked him. He beat down Spud as he kept talking on the mic and berating Spud. Spud fought back, but O’Shea tossed him around the ring. O’Shea slowly beat on Spud and told the production woman ringside he had a room upstairs and to bring a friend. Spud again tried to fight back, but O’Shea hit a back breaker to cut him off. He then went back to talking, as this feels as if it has lasted an hour. Spud again fought back and hit a dive on O’Shea, but he then got tossed to the barricade and announce table. Mathews said the smartest thing he’s ever said in TNA, “I guess this is a match.” O’Shea yelled at the crowd, got back into the ring and delivered elbows, but Spud fired up. He fought back, O’Shea missed a corner splash and posted himself, allowing Spud to run wild, hit the underdog and score the win. That was not good, they went too long and it felt way too long. Spud played his role well, but O’Shea is a complete bore to watch.

– We get highlights from Tuesday’s Impact. They also showed EC3’s post victory promo.

– Maria cut a pre-match promo, asking if we believe in miracles. I feel like they are about to launch a Ponzi scheme on the world of wrestling.

Mike Bennett w/Maria vs. Robbie E: Robbie did well during the World Title Series, showing a more serious side. This is Bennett’s TNA debut match. Bennett controlled early, and told Robbie that he was here to save him. Robbie didn’t appreciate this and worked him over, send him to the floor and then hit a high cross to the floor form the top rope. They brawled on the floor (3 for 3), as Bennett countered a RANA and slammed Robbie to the barricade. Back to the ring as Bennett hit some corner clothesline and a big boot, which got a near fall. Bennett worked the chinlock; hit a dropkick and then back to the chinlock. Robbie escaped and fought back with back elbows and clotheslines. There was very little heat for this match as a whole, but especially during Robbie’s comeback. Robbie missed a high cross, but then hit the boom drop and both were down to audible booing. They then had some really slow back and forth, exchanging strikes, and then Bennett stunned Robbie off the ropes. Bennett hit a cutter and then a Michinoku driver (called divine intervention) and that was that. This was not a good in ring debut for Bennett; the match was too evenly booked and went too long. He should have come in and ran through what will be his signature stuff in TNA and won with ease. They tried to present him as a star on Tuesday, which went off well enough, but this wasn’t very good here.

– Bennett said he was here to save TNA and build a Kingdom of miracles.

– Borash interviewed Gail Kim, who spoke about the #1 contender’s gauntlet match. She won the title for the first time in a gauntlet, and says the winner will be in for a fight.

– We get a video package on the knockouts, which really should have been ran on Impact prior to their match since it was an introductory package.

#1 Contenders Gauntlet Match: Madison Rayne, Velvet Sky, Awesome Kong, Jade, Marti, Rebel, Chelsea, Deonna : This is over the top elimination until they get to the final two, and then it becomes a regular one on one match. Rayne and Jade had a solid back and forth as Josh and Pope tried to namedrop Holly Holm as much as possible when someone hit a kick. Rebel was in next; they worked over Rayne very slowly until Chelsea (Storm trainee and was on Tough Enough) hit the ring for her TNA debut. She took control for a bit, and then they worked into pairs. Marti was in next as Dollhouse takes control of a match with little to no life at all. Dollhouse worked together and worked over Rayne and Chelsea. Dollhouse posed and looked pleased with themselves. Deonna Purrazzo (previously did a shot with NXT and TNA) was next. Rayne and the new girls took control and eliminated Rebel. Kong was next; she took control and started to order Dollhouse around (she aligned with them on Tuesday). Chelsea and Deonna attacked Kong, but got double chokeslammed and then eliminated by Kong. Sky entered next and she and Rayne worked together and tried to take out Kong. Marti was tossed over and then hung on the ropes for like 30-seconds and then Rayne went over and kicked her to the floor. Jade, Kong and Rayne were the final three. Some awkward spots as they kept feeling too close to one another, and Jade almost dropped Rayne at one point. Kong picked up Jade and hit Rayne with her. Rayne eliminated Jade, and we got to out singles match to determine the winner. Rayne escaped an implant buster, ran into Kong several times and went to the ropes and hit a dropkick to finally get Kong down, and the cover for 2. Rayne got another near fall, but then ate the back fist and implant buster and Kong wins. This was no good; it felt long, the layout was poor and they felt as if they were doing little to nothing for long periods of time. TNA has had an issue booking and executing gauntlet matches over the last year or so, and unfortunately it continued here. This was absolutely awful. Order of entry: Madison Rayne, Jade, Rebel, Chelsea, Marti, Deonna, Kong, Velvet Sky. Order of elimination: Rebel, Deonna, Chelsea, Marti, Sky, Jade, Rayne

– The Wolves put over Beer Money, but said that Beer Money is the past, that they are the future and are wanting to face them in a match. Eli Drake and Jessie Godderz interrupted, and were upset about being left out and how they got into the match so that they can teach the Wolves, Galloway and Angle a lesson. They then had a brief pull apart.

Trevor Lee vs. Pepper Parks: Lee attacked before the bell, taking control until Parks suplexed him to the corner and then sent him to the floor and hit a dive. They showed good energy and got the crowd into it a bit, which is good as the previous matches had failed to do so. Lee fired back with a vicious kick and then took control, grinding down Parks and then hitting that moonsault press slam for a near fall. Parks fought back, they had some really solid back and forth but like most of the other matches seemingly lost the crowd. The fisherman’s neck breaker got a near fall for Parks. Lee with a shot to the eye of Parks, tried for the deadlift German but Parks hit a sky high for a near fall. Lee connected with the high kick and running stomp. The fisherman’s buster finished things and Lee picked up the win. That broke the streak of bad matches there, it wasn’t great as they seemingly were going to work one match, but strayed from that and it felt a little odd in the middle. I hope they are planning to use Lee more moving forward, because the X-Division needs fresh blood.

– Dollhouse said that the rest of the roster was on notice, and that she was coming for the title. Kong actually talked and told Kim to clean up the title for her, because her house, her Kong House, was in control.

– Pope is in the ring now, and ranted about how he tends to run down some people eon commentary, and brought out Grado. Pope said that they aren’t friends, but wanted Grado to tell the people about himself. Grado said he met Pope in 2011 and too a selfie that got 26 likes. Pope claimed when he was a wrestler that the crowd was electric and when the bell rang; everyone knew that he was all about business. He calls Grado a joke, so Grado mocks Pope a bit by doing his American accent” and admits that he likes fun and maybe he needs to prove himself. Pope then says he needs to show he has balls, and says he has a better shot at winning the lottery than Grado winning a TNA title. Here comes Abyss. Abyss now gets to talk. He runs down Grado, calling him trash and says he’s not a man for wearing a fanny pack. Abyss asks if Grado likes to dance, because he does and he happens to have two tickets to Monsters Ball.

Monster’s Ball: Abyss vs. Grado: Grado dances a bit, and then kicks Abyss in the balls and the match has started. Grado tossed in hardcore toys, and hit Abyss with a trashcan a few times but Abyss punched the can into his face. Abyss made a bridge with a table between the ring and barricade. Abyss got the bag of tacks and spilled them out, but Grado grabbed the cheese grater and then used it on Abyss’ balls. Jabs by Grado, elbow and then kendo stick shots. Grado went up top, and Abyss tossed a trashcan into his face, and Grado took the bump through the table that had been set up earlier. Abyss brought in barbed wire covered boards and then Janice (the board with nails in it). Abyss then turned into a cartoon, missing with Janice, running into the chair he set up and then getting sent onto the bared wire board. Grado put the other barbed wire board on top of Abyss and hit as top rope splash; it only got a near fall. Grado got Janice, danced, but Abyss chokeslammed him into the tacks for the win. First of all this was every Abyss Monster’s Ball match for the last 10-years, all the same spots, with nothing new; I have seen it so many times that I have become numb to it, which killed my enjoyment. The worst part is that they did a bunch of shit and got next to no reaction, making their sacrifice even worse. They get a star for the abuse they took, I can’t dud them for the effort. On that note, how insulting to these guys to book a match of this mature and ask them to do all of this shit to their bodies when it wasn’t advertised in any way? They do a bad promo segment with Pope, and then we get this match. The booking here was completely insulting.

– Angle and Galloway hype their match.

TNA Tag Team Title Match: Champions The Wolves vs. Kurt Angle and Drew Galloway vs. Eli Drake and Jesse Godderz: Drake has been taking his vitamins since the last TNA tapings in July. Drake and Godderz controlled the opening portion of the match, isolating the Wolves. Drake almost tripped through the ropes when sent through them and then almost failed to pull one of the Wolves to the floor to stop a tag. The Wolves fought back, but Angle got the got tag and threw Germans to both Wolves, first separately, and then both at the same time. It broke down with Godderz, Drake and Galloway hitting the ring and bodies going everywhere. Some fun stuff from the Wolves and Galloway, Angle back in with them and when Drake and Godderz got involved, they got chopped down and taken back out. Galloway and Edwards chopped the hell out of each other, Ronnie Garvin vs. Ric Flair style. This then broke into the big move buffet, leading to everyone being down. This led to the Wolves hitting dives, Galloway hitting an over the top dive, leading to Angle getting a near fall on one of the Wolves. Richards and Angle then went face-to-face, Edwards and Galloway in and then Edwards and Angle used dueling ankle locks as they yelled at each other in a really fun spot. Godderz broke it up, teased using a title belt, the ref took it away and Drake used the other for a near fall on Galloway. The Wolves then got submission on both Drake and Godderz, and Drake tapped and the Wolves retained. The show needed that, as it was the first match since the opener to have a great energy from the performers, the work and that allowed the crowd to get into it. Everyone played their roles well, they didn’t go too long and it had a very enjoyable pace. This was easily the best thing on the show.

– Angle and Richards went face-to-face post match, and ended up shaking hands and hugging. Not sure if Edwards was selling or not, but he was limping badly post match with his boot undone.

– Lashley cut a promo about his match with Tyrus, he wants revenge for Tyrus costing him his chance at the TNA Title.

Lashley vs. Tyrus: They went for a hoss battle, Lashley did a hanging arm bar and Tyrus dropped to the mat and Lashley continued to work for the arm bar. Tyrus made the ropes, they fought in the ropes and slamming Lashley to the floor. Tyrus ripped off a turnbuckle as things slowed to a crawl. Keep in mind that Tyrus holds a shot at the TNA title, so can’t wait for that. Ass drops and nerve pinches from Tyrus here, and then slammed Lashley to the exposed buckle. They do the spot again as Tyrus works the back and then back to the nerve pinch. In theory these big man moves aren’t a bad thing, but they are done with no real aggression or effort, he is a big slow guy doing big slow things with no sense of urgency or appearing that he is doing harm to anyone. Tyrus kept control, getting near falls off of the cross body and then the spike. And then we got a ref bump. Lashley repeatedly smashed Tyrus into the exposed buckle, hit the spear and that was finally all. It wasn’t good at all, but thankfully it was not the worst thing on the show. There are guys that shouldn’t work together, Tyrus and anyone is on top of that list. This should have been two hosses kicking the shit out of each other, unfortunately it was just a bad match with no real energy from the work or the crowd.

– We get a Beer Money video package.

James Storm and Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young and Bram: No Boozer Cruiser for Storm. The crowd was happy to see Beer Money, and they controlled and worked well together, almost as if they never stopped teaming. Bram eventually turned the tide for his team, and they got the heat on Storm. Solid heat segment on Storm, hey did some nice basic stuff to keep control and to make sure Roode didn’t tag in. Basic may sound bad, but it’s a compliment, as they used basic heel stuff (think the Andersons) to take the ref and keep control in nefarious ways, which I appreciate. Roode finally tagged in and worked a really energetic hot tag. All four got involved, Storm hit a RANA off the ropes, big splash from Roode for a near fall followed. Young and Bram fought back and hit the Hart attack (love that) for a near fall. They then went into the big move buffet, and everyone was down. Storm saved Roode from a DDT, double teams to Young and then the double team suplex on Bram… BEER! MONEY! They hit the DWI and that was that. I think they went a couple of minutes too long (crop a minute or two before the final stretch, which was really good), but this was a nice way to close the show. Bram and Young got enough to look good in the loss, Beer Money got to knock off the rust, hit all of their signature stuff and pick up the win in their return.

* Next month’s PPV is One Night Only: Rivals.

* End scene.

* Thanks for reading.

“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”

5.0

The final score: review Not So Good

The 411

The good news is that this was not as horrible as most of the One Night Only PPVs the bad news was that it still wasn’t a good show. The two big tag matches and the X-Division match were where the quality was, with everything else largely being bad. Catch the X-Division, Tag Title and main event match, skip the rest.