Csonka’s WWE Great Balls of Fire Review 7.09.17

Just pretend it’s Stephanie coming for the balls of the Raw roster whenshe returns…

Csonka’s WWE Great Balls of Fire Review 7.09.17

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Kickoff Match: Champion Neville defeated Akira Tozawa @ 11:45 via pin [***½]
– Bray Wyatt defeated Seth Rollins @ 12:10 via pin [**½]
– Big Cass defeated Enzo Amore @ 5:27 via pin [*]
– RAW Tag Team Championship 30-Minute Iron Man Match: Champions Cesaro and Sheamus defeated The Hardys @ 30:00 via 4-3 [***¾]
– RAW Women’s Championship Match: Sasha Banks defeated Champion Alexa Bliss @ 11:55 via countout [***½]
– WWE IC Title Match: Champion The Miz defeated Dean Ambrose @ 11:00 via pin [**½]
– Ambulance Match: Braun Strowman defeated Roman Reigns @ 16:42 via ambulance [***½]
– Heath Slater defeated Curt Hawkins @ 2:29 via pin [NR]
– WWE Universal Championship Match: Champion Brock Lesnar defeated Samoa Joe @ 6:30 via pin [***¼]

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WWE Cruiserweight Championship Kickoff Show Match: Champion Neville vs. Akira Tozawa: The continued mismanagement of the cruiserweight division continues at this PPV. You have a dominant champion, the best-booked champion in the company, against a quality babyface opponent who got himself over and then got the added push from the Titus Brand angle. But just like on Raw, when you take those few minutes to purple up the ropes, by putting these men on the pre-show is another example of telling fans to not care, just like when the cruiserweight title match was excluded from the WrestleMania DVD release. 205 Live has been far from perfect, but the WWE’s lack of commitment and poor planning have continually hurt the division. The show has had some great matches, but the crowds are largely dead after Smackdown. And now they put another match on the kickoff, and will have the talent give interviews telling them to play the “we’re building brand/give us time” card while the booking continues to tell people not to care, despite the talent trying really hard. I guess the power of Titus Worldwide is limited. Titus is ringside with Tozawa, who the crowd is behind early. Tozawa takes the early shine, scoring some early offense until Neville embraced the hate he’s been known for, especially as of late, taking control and beating Tozawa down on the floor with no fucks to spare. They took a commercial break, with Neville continuing his assault and keeping Tozawa grounded to avoid his kicks and explosive offense. But it didn’t last long as Tozawa fired up, landing the strikes and Saito suplex. Tozawa then fired the fuck up and hit a pair of suicide dive head butts and got a good near fall; Tozawa is so great when he fires up, always getting the crowd behind him with such ease. It’s so nice to see the crowd invested here, which has been an issue. Neville finally cut off the big comeback of Tozawa, scoring near fall off of the shotgun dropkick. Neville missed a Phoenix splash, leading to a near fall and Tozawa hitting the RANA and shining wizard; the big senton followed but Neville smartly powdered to the floor. Back in and Neville took the short cut, crotching Tozawa on the ropes and kicking the ropes into Tozawa’s balls. He’s such a spectacular asshole. Neville then hit a kick that looked awful low for the anticlimactic pin. Champion Neville defeated Akira Tozawa @ 11:45 via pin [***½] My overall criticisms of the division stand, but thankfully the talents keep busting their asses to deliver quality in ring action. Tozawa had Neville worried and on the ropes, so the champion had to resort to questionable tactics to retain; it worked, and I though that this was an overall very good match, with a flat finish, which seems to be the story of WWE PPV in 2017.

Bray Wyatt vs. Seth Rollins: I personally find it almost extremely hard to care bout this feud, because there is nothing here to care about. They (for no reason) dropped the Wyatt vs. Balor feud they were initially building to, Rolling got the video game cover and then Bray had words. He didn’t want the video game cover, he wasn’t mad at Rollins because of that, he just wants to be a God, a God that walks in the woods, says a bunch of pretty words while chilling in the dark with the smoke monster from Lost and then strolls through the desert monologuing with no real purpose. I wish I cared about either man right now, but WWE has done an outstanding job of making both characters unlikable and in no way relatable; getting invested in them on any real emotional level feels impossible. They worked a very basic pro wrestling beginning, with Wyatt showing no real fire, which goes against his whole deal in wanting to take out Rollins. But this is where someone tells me that the Wyatt character doesn’t care about winning and such, which I believe due to his booking over the last few years. He talks, he makes proclamations and then fails to deliver, which is why it is so difficult to care about him. Wyatt eventually cut off Rollins by slamming him to the steps. Wyatt took the heat, hitting a superplex for the near fall. Wyatt hit an apron DDT, continuing the heat and scoring a near fall. Rollins fired up and sent Wyatt to the floor, hitting a suicide dive. The springboard forearm followed and Rollins covered for 2. Rollins continued to build momentum, hitting sling blade and a blockbuster, scoring another near fall. Rollins escaped sister Abigail, but ran into a lariat. He then made the comeback, doing the deal with the falcon arrow. They continued to work back and forth, with Wyatt hitting the uranage for a near fall. Wyatt then monologued instead of going for the finish, allowing Rollins to fight back. Wyatt poked him in the eye, hit sister Abigail and picked up the win. Bray Wyatt defeated Seth Rollins @ 12:10 via pin [**½] Wyatt is supposedly a mad man that does things his way and will do anything to spread his word, so resorting to the eye poke makes sense for him to steal the win. It likely would have meant more if we hadn’t just watched Neville resort to questionable tactics to win in the previous match, that’s poor agenting right there. The match was perfectly average, lacking the fire and urgency of most Rollins PPV matches. The finish keeps the door open for the feud to continue, because why not? They have nothing else for them to do it seems.

– We get an interview with the Hardys. They are willing to do whatever it takes to win back their titles; tonight they break the bar.

– Enzo cuts a promo about he and Cass making their main roster debut in this very building last year. That was love, but tonight, this is war. He then cut a biog babyface promo about life and living his dreams, and related it to the Sinatra song, “That’s Life.” He has no plans to die, he will spread his wings and fly because he’s a star. Tonight he keeps Cass in his shadow and calls Cass sawft.

Enzo Amore vs. Big Cass: The Enzo/Cass split has been well done so far and has been entertaining. It was a split that I think we all saw coming because Cass is huge and Vince loves that. If you’re Cass’ size, it’s been proven over the years in WWE that you’ll get chances to rise to the top. The split is going to be his chance to see if he can swim without a mouthpiece. Cass is out to some very generic 90s heel music. Enzo tried to attack at the bell, which was a large failure as Cass beat the shit out of him and then tossed him around with ease. Enzo kept trying to fire up, but Cass would have none of this bullshit and would easily cut him off. Cass works big man 101 here, slowly beating on Enzo, choking him out and then press slamming him to the floor. Cass is very proud of himself here, but Enzo barely beats the count back in. Cass finishes him off with the bog boot. Big Cass defeated Enzo Amore @ 5:27 via pin [*] While the action was just ok, it was exactly what it needed to be; Cass winning with ease in what was essentially a squash, Enzo getting hope spots and showing that he won’t give up.

RAW Tag Team Championship 30-Minute Iron Man Match: Champions Cesaro and Sheamus vs. The Hardys: The Hardys made the big return at WrestleMania, wining the tag titles and derailing the hopes of Sheamus and Cesaro. The two teams started out as friends, having a sportsmanlike rivalry and then Sheamus and Cesaro had enough of the nostalgia act stealing their spotlight and won the titles. The feud has been pretty evenly booked but Sheamus and Cesaro have managed to keep the titles. Leading to this match. The champions made Matt look stupid, with Cesaro distracting him and Sheamus hitting the brogue kick for the first fall at like 20-seconds in. I liked that, iron man matches are difficult in terms of keeping the fans invested, because they feel that (in this case) the first 25-minutes don’t matter since it will all tie up or be close to it in the final minutes. The Hardys fought back to some chants of Delete & Brother Nero, working double teams on Sheamus. It broke down into a floor brawl, with the champions keeping control and working the heat on Jeff. Matt was sent to the floor, and after a lethargic 8 or so minute heat segment on Jeff, the champions pick up another pin, going up 2-0 with 19-minutes left in the match. Jeff finally sidesteps and sends Sheamus to the post. Matt finally gets the hot tag, running wild on Cesaro and getting the crowd to come alive. Matt runs through some signature offense, bulldog, elbow off the ropes, scoring a near fall. Jeff returns for poetry in motion, and a twist of fate by Jeff makes it 2-1 for the champions with 16:30 left in the match. After taking such a long heat, Jeff is back in and working with Sheamus. The Hardys sent the champions to the floor; Jeff hit a dive off of Matt’s back as it broke down into a brawl. Matt got posted, leading to a countout, and it’s 3-1 for the champions with 13:00 left. The champs now work the heat on Matt, grounding him and keeping him isolated in their corner. Cesaro looked as if he was having the time of his life, playing cocky heel as he beat on Matt and kept mentioning that he had all the time in the world. Matt would hit the side effect on Sheamus, but Cesaro took out Jeff and worked the sharpshooter. Sheamus made sure to keep Jeff on the floor. With 7:00 left, Jeff got the hot tag and used the trap leg drop to get the pin on Cesaro. From there, they picked up the pace and the Hardys got several near falls as they tried to tie things up. Cesaro saved Sheamus after a Matt moonsault, both teams showing good desperation here, with the champions doing everything they can to keep the lead, and the Hardys desperately trying to tie it up. Matt hit Sheamus with a twist of fate off the top (which looked as if it SUCKED) to tie it up with 2:50 left in the match. Jeff then dove off the top to wipe out the champions on the floor. Back in and the Hardys hit the double top rope splashes on Sheamus, but Cesaro made the save with 70-seconds left. They exchanged near falls, double down and Jeff blind tags in with the swanton but Cesaro sneaks in and rolls up Jeff to make it 4-3 for the champions, the champions try to run, Jeff hits the twist of fate for 2 as time runs out. Matt was busted open over his right eye in the final minutes of the match. Champions Cesaro and Sheamus defeated The Hardys @ 30:00 via 4-3 [***¾] This started slowly and about halfway through it was feeling as if they didn’t have enough to fill the full time. Thankfully that turned around, with the final fourth of the match being excellent. Overall this was a very good tag match, but the beginning lacked, holding it back from being great, even though commentary tried their best to sell it as a classic. The finishing stretch was really great.

RAW Women’s Championship Match: Champion Alexa Bliss vs. Sasha Banks: Bliss won the title and Bayley has fallen off the radar as a challenger. Nia Jax ran wild in a Raw gauntlet match, but Banks overcame the monster to earn the title shot here tonight. Banks also overcame Bliss & Jax on Raw after Bayley was taken out, submitting Bliss with the Banks statement. Banks took control early, causing Bliss to beg off. Bliss then did the “fake dislocated elbow” sell and suckered Banks in with a cheap shot. That’s such a great spot. Bliss escapes a Banks statement and Bliss teases taking a walk, but Banks stops that. Bliss trips her up on the apron, and Banks took a nasty bump off of that. This allowed Bliss to take the heat, where she targeted the injured back of Banks. Really nice focus from Bliss here as she continues to attack the back and go for near falls. Banks finally manages to hit a suplex to the buckles to cut Bliss off. Banks started to fire up here, hitting a big knee strike and Saito suplex. The running knee strike scored and Banks got a near fall off of that. Bliss fought back, hitting a code red for 2. Bliss then missed twisted Bliss, and Banks locked in the Banks statement. Bliss made the ropes in a great fight spot, escaped to the floor and slammed Banks off of the apron, and they brawled on the floor, with Bliss being sent to the barricade. Banks back in and Bliss bailed back to the floor. She then hit Banks with a right and took the countout loss. Sasha Banks defeated Champion Alexa Bliss @ 11:55 via countout [***½] With the countout finish, and post match brawl, it appears that this feud must continue. I thought that this was a very good match overall, with good aggression, a nice sense of urgency and both women playing their roles extremely well. Best of all, it was jut two women out there working to have a quality wrestling match with out a forced gimmick or the pressure of “making history” being needlessly shoved down our throat.

– Banks was pissed about this and she and Bliss brawled up the ramp. They fought to the commentary position and Banks fought off Bliss, and sent her to the floor and then followed with meteora off the table and to the floor. Bliss’ mouth was busted open after that.

– We see a pissed of Tozawa backstage, he tells Titus to make things right and get him a rematch with Neville.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Champion The Miz vs. Dean Ambrose: Maryse & The Entourage are out with the Miz. It feels as if these two have been feuding forever, and I feel that they really need to move on from the pairing. Miz really needs someone fresh to work with. Ambrose tries to gain an early advantage, attacking Axel and then Dallas on the floor. That allows Ambrose to work over Miz for a bit, but unfortunately for him, Axel was back and distracted Ambrose. This allowed Miz to fight back and take control over his challenger. Miz escapes dirty deeds, but Ambrose fires up and makes the comeback to little reaction. Ambrose hits a butterfly superplex for a near fall, they work back and forth with Miz taking out Ambrose’s knee. Miz then works the tree of WHOA and hits dropkicks to the knees, shifting focus. Ambrose’s mouth is busted open as Miz works the figure four center ring. Ambrose manages to escape, and Miz works the Daniel Bryan kicks. Ambrose counters the last one, fires up and hits the elbow drop press for a near fall. Ambrose is slowed here, as he decided he should sell the knee. Maryse takes the ref, Dallas & Axel get involved but Ambrose fights them off and hits the elbow press to the floor. Ambrose leaps back in, hits dirty deeds and Maryse puts Miz’s foot on the ropes. Ambrose runs full speed, hits a dive and then limps a bit. The entourage gets involved, Miz hits the skull crushing finale and wins. Champion The Miz defeated Dean Ambrose @ 11:00 via pin [**½] This was very average, no real heat, no fire, dodgey Ambrose selling and the interference finish; this felt like a top of the hour Raw match. They really need to move on from each other, both guys desperately need fresh opponents.

Ambulance Match: Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman: These two have been trying to kill each other for the majority of 2017, and I have found it very entertaining. They don’t mess around and go hoss fight straight off, with both men looking like they are out to inflict great damage. It spills to the floor, and Reigns posts BRAUN. But just as BRAUN looked down and possibly out, he tosses Reigns to the steps and then takes the steps apart and lays out Reigns with the steps. Reigns avoids another shot, while BRAUN makes the mistake of running at people and gets posted again. BRAUN needs to do some video study and stop that. BRAUN quickly keeps control, hitting the reverse powerslam and a powerslam; he accidentally covered for 2. Reigns avoids being taken to the ambulance, hits a Samoan drop and BRAUN posts himself again. This leads to Reigns attacking BRAUN’s previously injured elbow with chair shots. BRAUN eventually gets pissed as Reigns lights him up with chair shots, and starts to toss Reigns around. The brawl heads up the ramp and onto the stage. BRAUN clears off the commentary table, but that gave Reigns a chance to recover and fight back. BRAUN had enough of that bullshit and tosses Reigns into the ambulance. They now battle and try to put each other in the ambulance, like putting a cat into a bathtub. Reigns hits the superman punch, and another. BRAUN isn’t done with him yet and beats down Reigns with a backboard. Back to the stage and BRAUN mistakenly runs at Reigns and runs into the screen. Reigns then powers him through the screen, and BRAUN is far away from the ambulance now. BRAUN is moving and Reigns can’t believe what he’s seeing. BRAUN manages to toss Reigns off of the stage, and we’re back to the ambulance. Reigns hits BRAUN with a light, tries to spear him into the ambulance but BRAUN sidesteps him and closes the door for the win. Braun Strowman defeated Roman Reigns @ 16:42 via ambulance [***½] This was very good and very entertaining, these two trying to kill each other just works because they seem to have a great understanding between them in what they have to do and what they are willing to take. Braun takes the win, while they still protected Reigns, which was expected. The post match I also felt worked, as Reigns trying to kill Braun should allow Angle to refuse the Summerslam title match Reigns booked himself in and book Braun vs. Brock, since Braun won the match.

– Roman Reigns is a poor sport in loss, attacks BRAUN and puts him in the ambulance and drives away with BRAUN in the back. Reigns the fires the ambulance into reverse and crashes it into a big old trailer. Good old fashioned “babyface” homicide right there. I was praying for BRAUN to bust through the roof and yell, “I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU YET!”

Heath Slater vs. Curt Hawkins: Time for our random buffer match as they try to save BRAUN’s life. The crowd chants for Balor, and do not care about these poor bastards. So they try to work a match as the fire department arrives and we hear the sirens. During the rescue attempt Slater pins Hawkins. Heath Slater defeated Curt Hawkins @ 2:29 via pin [NR] Buffer which we didn’t get to see as they tried to get BRAUN out of the ambulance.

– They use the jaws of life and get the ambulance open. BRAUN refuses help and crawls out of the ambulance a bloody mess. Braun Strowman: Super Babyface stumbles away on his own; like a movie monster leaving the final battle.

WWE Universal Championship Match: Champion Brock Lesnar vs. Samoa Joe: The build to this match has been rather perfect; Brock is a cocky asshole that doesn’t sweat Joe, which puts him in the frame of mind he had when he lost to Goldberg. Add onto that the fact that Joe has been presented like a bad ass killer who has gotten over on Brock a few times and it not only heavily teases the Joe win, but makes it extremely believable. Heyman starts to do a long-winded intro for Brock, but Joe attacks, takes Brock to the floor and put him through an international commentary table. Heyman tries to rally Brock, and Brock slowly makes it back into the ring. The bell rings and Joe rushes him and attacks, beating on him with strikes and knees. Brock tries to fight back, but Joe keeps control. Joe looked for a takedown into the choke, but Brock fires back with knees. Joe hits a head butt, tries to lock in the choke but Brock slams him to the corner and then hits a German. A second follows. Brock hits a third and is still slow due to Joe’s attack. Brock looks for another German, they work into ropes and Joe low blows Brock. Joe locks in the choke for a long while, and Brock escapes with a side suplex. Brock misses a charge, posts himself but escapes the choke attempt and hits another trio of Germans. Joe counters the F5 into the clutch again. Brock drops to a knee as Heyman freaks out at ringside. But Brock is alive, hits the desperation F5 and retains. Champion Brock Lesnar defeated Samoa Joe @ 6:30 via pin [***¼] I really liked this, the finish could have been better, but I feel that it was a basic, straightforward match that allowed Joe to look not only smart and dangerous, but as a believable guy at the top of the card, because the build was great and no one really gets to look that competitive against Brock. This is a match that you can easily revisit after building Joe back up, but I feel that this did a lot for Joe’s overall stock. I would have loved for WWE to go outside the box and pull the Joe win here, but I think they did a lot right here and that it was really entertaining. Heyman was awesome at ringside selling Joe as a real threat. The key is of course how they follow up with Joe after this. I love Miz and think he’s great as IC Champion, but I’d be tempted to have Joe just fucking maul him and his entourage tomorrow and take the title.

– End scene.

– Thanks for reading.

~GLORIOUS~

7.0

The final score: review Good

The 411

WWE Great Balls of Fire was an overall good show, with good wrestling and an overall fun vibe to it. I found it very enjoyable and had a good time watching.