Dark Pegasus Video Review: Breaking Point 2009

Breaking Point 2009 by J.D. Dunn Twitter.com/jddunn411 Brightkite.com/jddunn411 Facebook.com/jddunn411 September 19, 2009 Live from Montreal. Your hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Josh Matthews and Matt Striker. Opening Match, Unified Tag Titles: Chris Jericho & Big Show vs. MVP & Mark Henry. Great, so we had Big Papa Smurf, and now we have Henry as the Kool-Aid Guy. Jericho gets frustrated with MVP and tags in Show. That brings in Henry. Show whips him into the corner and sets up for the avalanche. Oh no. He runs. Oh no. Henry catches him! OH YEAH! Henry goes for a bodyslam, but Jericho hits him from behind. MVP tags in and hits the Ballin’ Elbow on Jericho, but Show spears him (or *literally* cuts him in half, according to Lawler). MVP plays face-in-peril as Henry pouts on the ring looking like a massive state-fair cherry. Henry gets the hot tag and cleans house on Jericho, but Show punches him in the head to give his team the win at 12:12. MVP has to get things going. Mark Henry carried this team. Think on that. Jericho and Show brought their usual, so this was okay. **1/4 Cody Rhodes admits that he and Ted Dibiase are not submission specialists, but they are specialists in finding the other team’s… (puts sunglasses on) BREAKING POINT! YEEEEEEAAAAHHHH! (Btw, they also helpfully plugged the DX glowsticks, available at WWEShop.com) U.S. Title: Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz. The Miz is vastly improved as an in-ring performer, and, if not for Punk’s post-heel-turn run, would be a shoo-in for “Most Improved.” JE SUIS LE MIZ! JE SUIS AWESOME! Kofi confounds the Miz with his CONTROLLED FRENZY! Miz takes over and hits a flying double ax-handle. Kofi comes back with the STO rollup (the Kofi Pot?) and the Boom Drop, but Miz gets his knees up. They exchange nearfalls, and Miz rolls through a crossbody for two. Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise out of nowhere to pick up the win at 11:56. OH, KOFI! YOU GHANA MAKE ME CRAZY! Both guys could use an injection of passion because it would have been much better had they not just ran through their routines. Still, the crowd got more into the match as it wore on, and that’s a good thing. **1/2 Submissions Count Anywhere: D-Generation X vs. Cody Rhodes & Ted Dibiase. HHH’s trying to foist responsibility for screwing Bret onto Shawn in the pre-match promo is pretty funny since he openly admits to being the one who proposed it. Also funny is that even Montreal stops booing long enough to yell “Are you ready?” and “Suck it!” The brawl quickly spills out into the crowd. The fans sing “Ole!” making me hope El Generico might do a run-in. Back down to the floor, DX comes back with an awesome chair-assisted crab-chinlock on Cody. Ted makes the save and puts Shawn in a modified Gory Special. Hunter makes the save, and they take it back up to the stands. Cody kicks Shawn over the railing, and Shawn lands on a conveniently placed mat. They treat it like he landed on a bed of nails, but the live fans don’t buy it. Hunter takes on both Legacy members near the catering table to give Shawn a chance to recover. Ted knocks Hunter cold with some sort of object, leaving Shawn alone in a two-on-one. Shawn tosses Ted but gets caught in an awkward anklelock from Cody. Shawn makes the ropes, but as Michael Cole points out, it doesn’t matter. Good catch, Mikey. Shawn squirms out and hits Ted with the superkick. Figure-four on Cody, but Ted recovers and saves. Cody slaps on the ringpost figure-four, and Ted adds the Million Dollar Dream. HHH is crawling down the ramp, but Shawn taps before he can get there, giving Cody and Ted a big victory at 21:40. Not as brutal as I thought it would be, as it focused more on strategy and creative submission spots. That’s a plus in my book, although I didn’t enjoy it as much as the Summerslam match, probably due to the all-over-the-arena booking that killed the heat. It was still a fine match, and it’s hard to believe there was a time earlier this year where I thought Cody and Ted could be “future endeavored.” ***1/2 Randy Orton has no reaction to Legacy’s win. He talks about John Cena instead. Not sure when Randy started channeling Jigsaw from the Saw movies, but it works here. Singapore Cane Match: Kane vs. The Great Khali (w/Ranjin Singh). Ross busts out a number of baseball comparisons. See, they’re hitting each other with wooden sticks, so it’s just like baseball. Kane fights out of the Khali Krush and signals for the chokeslam. Ranjin saves with a cane shot and makes himself a target. That allows Khali to recover and hit an overhead chop. He stops to check on Ranjin, though, so Khali snaps his head off the top rope and finishes with a chokeslam at 5:50. I got nothing to say about this. It was a Smackdown filler match where the added benefit of them hitting each other with sticks. I’ll be generous and say *1/2 CM Punk gloats about Jeff Hardy falling off the wagon and says he’s not afraid of the Undertaker. He does get spooked by Jimmy Wang Yang turning off the lights, though. We have a Jimmy Wang Yang sighting! Jimmy pays for it as Punk helps him find his (puts sunglasses on) BREAKING POINT! YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH! ECW Title: Christian vs. William Regal (w/Chocolate Vodka). Tiffany bans Jackson and Kozlov from ringside. Who would have thought that going from Teddy Long to Tiffany would be a kayfabian upgrade? Regal acquits himself much better here than he did at Summerslam. Then again, he’d have to, wouldn’t he? Christian goes up-tempo (comparatively) early, but Regal controls through much of the match. Regal counters the Killswitch to the Regalplex (SICK!), but that only gets two. He counters it again, but Christian avoids the knee to the head and hits the Killswitch at 10:14. Nothing wrong here. Just solid work. Pretty much what you’d expect from these two. **1/4 Native Montrealier Pat Patterson, with rainbow shirt, comes out to put over Montreal as a city. Dolph Ziggler interrupts and makes old-people jokes. Dolph needs to borrow Lawler’s joke book. He kicks Patterson in the gut and is about to attack him when John Morrison makes the save. Meh. WWE Title, “I Quit”: Randy Orton vs. John Cena. Hopefully, this is not as overbooked as their Summerslam match. Orton ducks that silly flying shoulderblock Cena always misses and knocks Cena to the floor. Monitor shot sets up the rope-assisted DDT. Orton isn’t done. He takes Cena to the floor and curbstomps his head into the ring steps. Cena refuses to quit, though. He doesn’t know how. He’s a fake Marine. Orton cuffs Cena to the ropes and gives him a few chops, but then he decides against that and hangs him on the ringpost. Cena is unresponsive, so Orton dumps water on him to wake him up. Cena spits water in Orton’s face, so Orton grabs the Singapore Canes from the previous match and goes crazy on Cena. Cena still refuses to quit. Now, Orton cuffs Cena to the adjacent poll and hits him with chairshots. Cena’s wails really sell the agony, but he doesn’t quit. He avoids one more chairshot and steals the key. Cena cuffs himself to Orton! Now Orton has nowhere to run. Awesome! Cena pummels Orton but eats an RKO out of nowhere. Randy scrambles for the key, but he’s got Cena’s dead weight to pull. Cena recovers and slaps on the STF with the handcuff-assist. Orton has to give it up at 19:45. This looked like the first 2/3 of what would have been a great match. Cena got his ass kicked for nearly 17 minutes straight but it was all to put over the fact that Cena is Superman and will never submit. Remember, if the hero is invincible, the villain is irrelevant. Orton’s plan was cool, though, as was the moment where he was hoist on his own petard. That finish came way too soon, though. **3/4 World Title, Submission Match: CM Punk vs. The Undertaker. Big heat for Punk early as he bails and then uses his quickness to pepper Taker with strikes. Taker shrugs them off and tosses Punk over the top. Pummelry follows with Punk getting in a few shots of his own. Taker blocks the knee/bulldog combo and hits his Snake Eyes big boot combo. Chokeslam, but Punk hits a roundhouse kick to block. Oh, but Taker quickly snaps on the Hell’s Gate (I still prefer Death Rattle). Punk quickly taps at 8:15. Here’s Teddy Long, though, to remind everyone that Vickie Guerrero banned Hell’s Gate a long time ago, so the match is restarted. Punk slips out of the Last Ride and almost has Taker in the Anaconda Vise when the bell rings for the submission at 10:55. See, we’re in Montreal, home of the “Montreal Screwjob,” which the people of Montreal can’t let go – even though the WWE constantly reuses the finish. And, yes, they did ask you to pay $40 to see a main event whose sole reason for existence is to set up another match that you have to pay $40 to see. This is a situation where the PPV would have been much better if they just reversed this match and Cena vs. Orton (or even DX vs. Legacy). I know what you’re saying: ”Oh, but this sets up a big Smackdown angle later on. Yeah, but that doesn’t make *this* match any better. **

The 411: This is basically a Summerslam retread without that PPVs verve. The main event would lead to an as-yet unresolved conspiracy angle involving a crooked referee and a reluctant Teddy Long, who, coincidentally, was one of the most famous crooked referees. Just more self-indulgent 50/50 booking where *nothing* ever seems to get resolved. Thumbs down.
Final Score:  5.5   [ Not So Good ]