Dark Pegasus Video Review: The Twisted, Disturbed Life of Kane (Disc One)

The Twisted, Disturbed Life of Kane (Disc One) by J.D. Dunn Your host is Kane with Doc Severinsen and the Tonight Show band. Kane (w/Paul Bearer) vs. Mankind (“Survivor Series” – 11 .10.97) This would be Kane’s in-ring debut after months of clobbering jobbers. He actually attacked Dude Love, forcing the Dude to turn back into Mankind. The whole match takes place under Kane’s tanning lamp, so the atmosphere is kind of weird. It’s not exactly Nu Jack in ECW. That’s okay because it’s just Mick getting destroyed for 15 minutes. It must have worked, though, because Kane was one of the few monsters to get over against the Undertaker. Mankind goes through the Spanish table, knocking out Tito Santana. More carnage follows as Kane slams Mankind off the top to the floor. Kane finishes at 9:40. A squash with a lot of Mankind bumps. That’s about it. *1/2 Kane locked his brother in the casket and lit it on fire at The Royal Rumble, leading to… The Undertaker vs. Kane (w/Paul Bearer – “WrestleMania,” 03.29.98). Kane’s big advantage was that he wasn’t scared of the Undertaker because he was even more powerful. Pete Rose plays special guest announcer and insults the crowd, prompting Kane to give him a Tombstone, setting off a few years of feuding. Taker gets O Fortuna and about two dozen druids lining the aisle for his entrance. Kane overpowers him and throws him into the corner. Undertaker avoids him and fires away. Kane whips him to the opposite corner but runs into a boot. Taker no-sells a clothesline. More punching and kicking. Kane hangs Taker on the top rope and comes off the top with a forearm shot. I can’t remember another time I’ve seen him do that. They fight on the outside, and Kane rams Taker’s face into the ringsteps. Bearer distracts the ref long enough for Kane to smash Taker’s head with the steps. Bearer even gets a shot in. Kane drags Taker back in and flails away in the corner. Taker staggers him with a clothesline but gets caught with the CHOKESLAM! Kane covers for two but pulls Taker up. Taker fights out of a chinlock, but Kane cuts off his comeback and drops an elbow. Taker powers up again and throws Kane over the top. Taker goes for his insane no-hands tope, but Kane avoids it, sending Taker through the Spanish Announce Table. Back in, Kane goes up and delivers a flying clothesline off the top. Taker lets Kane punch himself out and fires back. Taker catches him in a Tombstone Position, but Kane reverses to one of his own. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Taker kicks out. Taker battles back and gets his own chokeslam as Bearer damns him to hell. TOMBSTONE! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Kane kicks out. Taker drops a leg. Kane no-sells but staggers into another Tombstone. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO!! Undertaker can’t believe it. Taker goes up top and delivers a top-rope clothesline. Kane gets up again, but this time the Undertaker’s Tombstone is just enough to put him away at 16:58. After the match, Kane Tombstone’s the Taker on a chair. Kane and Bearer walk out, but Undertaker sits up and glares at them as they leave just to let you know this ain’t over. Undertaker’s strategy, lifted from Ali as they pointed out, was to let Kane punch himself out and then make the comeback. It certainly made for a more interesting match than their WMXX match and got Kane over as a monster heel. **3/4 Kane says Undertaker might have won, but the beating took years off his career. Jesus Christ, how long was Undertaker planning on wrestling before that match?!! Inferno Match: The Undertaker vs. Kane (w/Paul Bearer — “Unforgiven,” 04.28.98). The ring is surrounded by fire. The first person to set his opponent on fire wins. They slug it out, leading to an avalanche in the corner by the Undertaker. Undertaker hits the Ropewalk Forearm causing the flames at ringside to burst. Kane beats him down in the corner and gives him a powerslam. I miss the old Kane. They slug it out again. For a long time. Taker gets a chokeslam, but Kane sits up. They boot each other in the face. Taker recovers and goes for the Flying Clothesline. Kane ducks, nearly sending the Undertaker into the flames. Taker catches Kane going up and superplexes him. Kane recovers first, so Taker throws him over the ropes. Kane tries to duck out of the match (giving us a glimpse of the guy who controls the fire, ruining the effect somewhat). Vader, who was injured by Kane a few months earlier, runs down and attacks the Big Red Machine. Taker vaults himself over the top rope and takes both of them out. Paul Bearer tries to interfere, so Taker chases him up to the platform where the band was playing earlier in the night. He smashes a drum over Bearer’s head and returns to the ring. Kane tries to blindside the Taker with a chairshot, but Taker boots him back into the fire for the win at 16:03. Unfortunately, the fire looked rigged and very safe, ruining the drawing power of the match’s gimmick. * Kane got a rare win over his brother on Raw to become the #1 contender for Steve Austin’s WWE Title. Kane vowed to set himself on fire if he didn’t win their First Blood match. WWF Heavyweight Title, First Blood: Steve Austin vs. Kane (w/Paul Bearer — “King of the Ring ’98,” 06.28.98). Austin has his elbow heavily taped, and by “heavily taped,” I mean he’s smuggling a midget in there. He drops an elbow with it anyway with no ill effects. Austin fights him off early and undoes the turnbuckle pad. Kane blocks and they brawl on the outside. The cell starts to lower and nearly comes down on Austin. Kane whips Austin into the mesh. Kane starts to crawl after Austin and gets halfway out of the cell door when it starts to rise! Austin eventually yanks him off, and they brawl all the way up to the entrance. Austin tries a piledriver but gets backdropped. They brawl back to the ring where Kane shoves Austin into Earl Hebner. The brawl continues unabated until Mankind runs down with a chair. Austin fights him of as the cell lowers again with all three guys inside it. Austin delivers Stunners to Kane and Mankind. The Undertaker hobbles down and swings at Mankind, but he winds up hitting Austin, triggering conspiracy theories about whether it was intentional or not. Austin continues to fight back, but he’s bleeding from the chairshot. Taker tosses the referee in, and Hebner sees Austin bleeding, so Kane picks up the win and his only World Title at 14:52. Austin would take the title back the following night. Like many WWE main events from 1998-1999, this just served to launch another storyline for Raw rather than serving as a real main event. And you can probably tell that the very next show featured a tag match in the main event, and you can probably tell who the participants are. *3/4 Kane blames society for not allowing him a long title reign. WWF Tag Team Titles: Owen Hart & Jeff Jarrett (w/Debra) vs. X-Pac & Kane (“Raw,” 04.05.99). This goes like all X-Pac/Kane pairings – X-Pac gets killed for about 5 minutes, tags to Kane, and Kane starts settin’ bitches on fire… figuratively, of course. Cole: Kane is on fire! Oh, I see what he did there. Kane destroys Jarrett and slams X-Pac on him for the win and the titles at 6:07. ** Easter Egg Alert!: Highlight “Owen Hart & Jeff Jarrett vs. X-Pac & Kane” and press “RIGHT” twice. You’ll see Kane speaking without his little voice thingie for the first time. Kane says he always planned on turning on X-Pac, but X-Pac beat him to it. That led to… Cage Match: X-Pac vs. Kane (w/Tori, “Armageddon” — 12.12.99). The deck is stacked toward Pac here, as Kane has to win by pinfall, but X-Pac can escape if he wants to. X-Pac goes after Tori, leading Kane to come out after him. Pac hits him in the face with the ringbell. Kane chases him back in and overpowers him. X-Pac crotches him on the top rope. Kane comes back with a tilt-o-whirl backbreaker and tosses X-Pac into the cage. The New Age Outlaws run down and cut open the cage and slam the door on Kane’s head. X-Pac recovers and X-Factors Kane’s face into a chair. He handcuffs Kane and goes up, but Tori runs in and yanks him down. He gives her an X-Factor, much to the consternation of JR. X-Pac goes over and out, but Kane snaps the handcuffs and catches him before his feet hit the floor. Kane tosses him back in and hits the flying clothesline off the top of the cage. That sets up the Tombstone at 8:13. X-Pac would have the last laugh, though. **1/2 Apparently, Kane didn’t do anything for a year because we get… Last Man Standing: Chris Jericho vs. Kane (“Armageddon” — 12.10.00). Ross: Can you believe this all started over a cup of coffee?!? No, I really can’t. I really, really can’t, Jim. They meet in the aisle and brawl to the back. Funny moment as a random guy staggers into the brawl and gets beaten by both guys. They fight to the ring where Jericho clotheslines Kane over. Kane slams him into the post to take over. And it’s all downhill after that. A Kane Hangman hold gets an 8-count. The Lionsault hits Kane’s knees, and he hits a flying clothesline. Jericho keeps taking 9-counts, but he’s, by gawd, resilient. Kane chokeslams him for nine (with Jericho clearly signaling to Teddy Long). Kane beats him with a chair and sets up for a Tombstone on the chair. Jericho slips out, goes low, and DDTs him. He puts the chair on Kane and hits a Lionsault. Well, that’s just stupid. Kane stays down for the longest nine count you’ll ever see and then Military Presses Jericho to the floor. They brawl over to the entrance where Jericho tries to put Kane through a table with a facebuster. Jericho pushes over some barrels that make up the set, and the fall on Kane (sort of). Jericho picks up the win after a tedious match. 3/4* Easter Egg Alert!: Highlight the Last Man Standing Match and press “LEFT” twice. You’ll see Chris Jericho spilling his coffee on Kane and setting off the epic feud. WWF Tag Team Titles, Triple Threat Table Match: The Dudley Boyz vs. Kane & Undertaker vs. Edge & Christian. Kane and Undertaker inexplicably made up during the Royal Rumble, and they’d just as inexplicably break up. Brawl in the aisle to start. Taker tosses D-Von off the ramp, and the Brothers of Destruction turn Edge & Christian into their bitches. The Dudz return with chairs and destroy Taker and Kane. E&C attack the Dudleyz and do the tree-of-woe stomp to Bubba’s nuts. The Conchairto backfires, and Edge gets catapulted into Christian. Edge takes the Wazzup Drop. D-Von goes for the tables and gets attacked by Taker and Kane. I should point out that Kane has a pretty cool all-black outfit on tonight, which is the only time he’s used it, I think. The BOD hit stereo powerslams on E&C. They follow it up with stereo top-rope clotheslines, if the stereo speaker had a blown wire. The Dudleyz return, but Taker cuts off the 3D. He tries to chokeslam Christian, but Bubba goes low on him. The BOD set up for powerbombs through the tables, but Rikishi and Haku storm the ring and attack them. Bubba sends Edge into a table in the corner, but it doesn’t break. Taker and Kane brawl with the Islanders 2K1 back up the ramp. Back in, Christian misses a swing and gets 3D’d through the table at 12:12. **1/2 Special Features: The Undertaker’s Secret: The history of Kane from the first mention of his name to his debut. Kane vs. Pete Rose: Highlights of Kane making Pete his bitch. Not as bad as Vegas did, but pretty badly.

The 411: I was actually hoping for a few more plot points in Kane's labyrinthine history. Paul Bearer revealing he was Kane's father, for instance, or the Undertaker revealing that he was the one who burned down the funeral home. Oh, but the absolute best is yet to come!
Final Score:  6.0   [ Average ]