Down With The Brown: Fully Loaded 2000

Unforgiven is just around the corner which makes for a rare WWE PPV that I’m excited about, simply because this will mark the second live WWE PPV that I have attended. As many of you know, I am from the land of JR, so when the WWE comes to town, two things are certain: I will be there with good seats and Jim Ross will be getting his ass kicked. And while Unforgiven marks the first WWE PPV to take place in Oklahoma, it is not the first PPV that I have attended, and I figure now is as good of time as any to look back on a show I ended up being very lucky to attend, as 2000 was a KILLER year for WWF PPVs.

Thankfully, the internet has replaced the need for my friend and I back in 2000 to drive to Dallas and wait overnight only to find out they were giving slots to buy tickets away by lottery. I ended up with crummy seats to this show, but the fun factor more than made up for it.

(BTW, my seats for Unforgiven are on the same side as the camera, 2nd row off the floor, so if I get on camera, it’s only because Hardy and Edge are brawling over by us.)

EDIT- Well, now that it’s a cage match, the odds of that become zero…….

Okay, it’s 2000, one great, great year for the WWF. The Foley-HHH feud was one of the strongest in a long time, The Rock was peaking, and the onflow of WCW talent gave the WWF fresh matchups sorely lacking in today’s environment. We were entering the awesome HHH-Angle-Stephanie angle, Jericho, Benoit, and Angle were getting their first main event pushes, and the tag team scene was crazy with awesome brawls featuring the Dudleys, Hardys, and Edge & Christian. There’s your set-up. Here we go:

From Reunion Arena in Dallas, this was the last Dallas PPV to take place here before everything moved to the infinitely nicer American Airlines Arena. This was either a sell-out or extremely close to one. (16,504 was the attendance.)

Match #1

The Hardy Boyz & Lita vs. T& A & Trish Stratus

I’ve always thought Trish was hot, but she was extremely hot those first few months in the WWF, back in her “I’m kinda nervous but I’m trying really hard not to show it” days. Her nervous glances at the camera walking to the ring just seals it (though the black coat and knee highs don’t hurt either.) T&A were Test and Albert (A-Train) for the uninitiated and they had started a feud with the Hardys though if memory serves, Trish & Lita started it, and then the guys joined in. And as I say that, we get a recap as we get a good old fashioned Lita botched spot as Lita’s second rope legdrop ends up with her ass splatting on Trish’s face. And for some inexplicable reason, it’s replayed. Though it’s redeemed as Lita’s takes a sick bump off a ladder backwards through a table almost going head first. Lita also gets whipped with a strap by Trish as we see the welts forming on her back. Lita continues to sell the injuries on the way to the ring.

Allow me to be sexist for just one brief moment as I’ll share the one thing I remember about this match live and that is our seats were directly diagonal to the heel’s corner, which meant we got a perfect view of Trish’s backside, which caught a wedgie early on. Needless to say, my focus was not necessarily on the in-ring action.

Anyway, this is an interesting match between speed and brute strength, though considering Test & Albert weren’t exactly The Twin Towers, this was a pretty even match-up going in. Albert’s in black T-shirt mode which was much appreciated. Matt totally blows an opening sequence not once but twice as a test of strength is supposed to turn into a top rope armdrag, but Matt slips on both attempts, though both men cover adequately (ie, the female shrieks cover any “You F’d up” chant.) Apparently Matt’s got a case of the nerves because Matt then slips off the apron after a backdrop and crashes to the floor. Matt recovers and he and his brother doubleteam Test and God Lord do the girls scream for them. This is almost Von Erich levels. Test oversells an elbow and almost forgets to lie down for the following move.

Aside from that, it’s a solid opening match with Jeff bumping like a madman and Test proving to be the surprise of the match as he makes everybody look like a million bucks. He even sells Lita’s offense as if he were shot. A match like this shows you how far Trish Stratus has come as her offense is almost non-existent. Five years later you forget she wasn’t hired to be a wrestler, but more for eye candy. Lots of innovative stuff including a triple suplex of Trish & Test and a damn fine powerslam counter into a DDT. Lita even breaks out four more moves than usual. Good match with a good post-match beatdown.

Backstage Edge tells short-haired Commissioner Foley that Christian is too sick to wrestle.

The Undertaker rides his Harley into the building and asks for Kurt Angle. Angle just happens to walk by and the chase is on. Angle just happens to run into a room where a cameraman is and Taker tries to run over Angle with his motorcycle but Kurt escapes. I always hated these angles where the heels are too afraid to wrestle The Undertaker. I mean, really, there’s no point.

Match #2

Tazz vs. Al Snow

Tazz got derailed right off the bat thanks to awful booking and an early injury caused by Chris Benoit. Tazz returned with a “Injury everybody” angle where he started attacking random guys for no reason, and we get a video highlighting him ruining Scotty’s Worm, smacking Rikishi with a camera, and just WALLOPING Kane with a chair. So Foley decided the proper punishment was a match with Al Snow. You can come up with your own reasons why that would be a suitable punishment.

Snow’s best days were behind him but even he gets a large pop from the crowd. Snow gets WAAAAY too much offense, and the crowd starts to get a little restless, so Snow grabs the head to shut those fans up. Tazz finally gets the Tazmission, but the problem is, this match should have been a squash. Period. Snow getting 80% of the offense does nothing for either man. Okay match, nothing offensive, just not very well-thought out either.

Backstage, Edge is checking on a vomiting Christian, and Foley brings in a doctor who confirms that Christian is indeed unable to wrestle tonight.

Stephanie gets some mystery flowers and HHH grabs the card that reads “Best of luck to you and your man. Its true! Its true!”

Match #3

Eddie Guerrero vs. Perry Saturn

This is for the European championship and we’re in the Guerrero-Chyna angle here which I’ll give credit, Eddie made Chyna watchable. Chyna’s got a grudge with Perry’s squeeze Terri, and she gives the match some real credit by punking out Perry all by herself. Perry saves face by jumping Chyna later at least but still, if your girlfriend can beat up your opponent, why bother?

Eddie’s apparently got some esteem problems as he wrestles the whole match with a T-shirt on. Some error in communication as Eddie hits a horrible looking clothesline on Perry followed by even weaker kicks that Perry doesn’t even sell probably because he doesn’t feel them. Chyna proceeds to continue beating the crap out of Saturn. Remember, this was the woman who got destroyed in a shoot by Joey Buttafuco. This match was obviously during Eddie’s “demond” period as he just seems unmotivated and one of his moves busts Perry open hardway. And the crowd is quickly dying on this match too. A wicked Saturn powerbomb wakes them up though. Saturn blows a moonsault which has become a move performed in every match thus far.

Chyna interferes one time too many and Saturn clotheslines her over the announce table which breaks (by accident) and you’d think the pop it gets would tell you something about the love for Chyna. With Chyna out, Terri comes back to the ring, and her interference leads to a Saturn win and the European title. The last three minutes picked up, but both guys really seemed to be phoning it in.

Edge and Christian celebrate getting out of defending their titles (again, in full view of the cameraman) but Foley walks in on them high-fiving each other. Christian runs to the bathroom and starts vomiting again, but Foley climbs up and sees Christian pouring brown stuff into a toilet. And miraculously, we see this from FOLEY’S POINT OF VIEW! I know, I know, it’s TV, but still, TRY to make me believe, guys.

Undertaker’s being interviewed but stops when he sees Kurt Angle checking out his ride. Kurt runs away.

Match #4

Edge & Christian vs. The Acolytes

Man, do I miss the 5-second pose. Edge cuts an anti-Dallas promo, trashing the Stars and Cowboys. And then Christian sees a line, decides not only to cross it, but leap the F**K over it:

“You know, everybody makes a big deal about the JFK assassination. Was it a lone gunman? A conspiracy? It SO doesn’t make a difference, because if JFK had spent five more minutes in Dallas, he would have committed suicide anyway.”

Bradshaw takes offense, and to the best of my knowledge cuts his first “real” Bradshaw promo. Bradshaw kisses up to Dallas, building up the Cowboys and the Stars. And he then takes a turn I wasn’t expecting by promoting Texas wrestling and how legends like Dick Murdoch, Bruiser Brody, The Funks, The Freebirds, and The Von Erichs all rocked the very city those two punks were trashing. “And tonight, we’re going to create one more memory. This’ll be the night The Acolytes made Edge and Christian their personal BITCHES!”

A promo like that and you realize just how easily JBL really could become a face (and had Hassan stayed I think that may have been where he was heading.) Anyway, Bradshaw lives up to his word as they ANNIHILATE the tag champs. Our moonsault tally goes to four straight as even Faarooq busts one out. DAMN, indeed.

Christian does an AWESOME selling of the clothesline from hell, as he can’t quite do a 180 so he ends up balancing on his head before splatting to the ground. Weak finish as after getting killed the entire match, Edge just hits Faarooq with the belt and walks off. Both teams brawl to the dressing room. The heat spares this match from getting a bad rating, but it’s not all that great either.

And I was kidding, Faarooq didn’t hit a moonsault. Though I did expect SOMEBODY to.

Big Bossman is working the door at WWF New York. Well, a living is a living.

HHH expresses his jealously over Angle’s fondness for Stephanie.

Undertaker’s looking for Angle too, and he finds him when Angle Kerrigans Undertaker with a wrench.

Match #5

Rikishi vs. Val Venis (Steel Cage)

This is one of those feuds that came out of nowhere but was really fun while it lasted. Val turned heel a few months prior and during his assholeness he got into an altercation with Rikishi and ended up busting him open with the steel steps, and with blood reserved for the main eventers, it was a pretty big deal. It became even bigger when Rikishi went berzerk Jimmy Snuka style and responded by doing a Superfly splash off the Smackdown platform to a prone Val before. Val is I-C champ here and he’s being managed by Trish Stratus which I had completely forgotten about. And he has horrible techno music that you will completely forget about.

Solid cage match with Val looking to be busted hardway as he gets a nasty looking cut over his eye (that or he’s an incredible trooper blading that close to his eyeball.) The story here is that Rikishi is too large to climb the cage, so Trish guards the door so he can’t get out. That is until Lita assaults Trish with a belt. And then Rikishi tosses Val off the top rope and then proves everybody wrong by climbing to the top of the cage, and the fans are buzzing because we know what’s about to happen, and sure enough, Rikishi (after thinking a long time about it) jumps a legit 12 ft down and SQUASHES Val with a Superfly leap in an easy spot of the night. Rikishi crawls to the door but Taz greets him with a TV camera to the face and a lifeless Val barely drops an arm on him for the pin. WEAK finish but an awesome spot.

HHH finds Harvey Wippleman carrying flowers and he demands to know where they came from. Harvey points to a lockerroom and HHH walks in, only to get beat up by Chris Jericho. Okay, that was actually a cute bit.

Shane McMahon comes out wearing a Rock T-shirt and the fans start a “Shane’s a pu$$y” chant. Shane explains that he in fact is not one, and wants to prove it by challenging the Rock to a warmup match right now. The Rock obliges and agrees with the fans “Shane, without a doubt, you are a pu$$y.” He knows this is a set-up, so he just tells Benoit to skip his plan, and let’s do this now.

And we cut to Chris Benoit in the locker room, and he tells the Rock “since I’m going to strip you of your title tonight, I might as well strip you of your wardrobe too.” And Benoit proceeds to further emulate his protege the Dynamite Kid by destroying all of The Rock’s clothes by tearing them up and pouring motor oil all over them. Hey, if you’re going to bring ten changes of clothes, that kind of thing is bound to happen.

Match #6

The Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle

Boy, if there’s one sure-fire way to draw great heat, it’s to have the a superhuman face feud with a chicken-sh!t heel, right? I mean after all, when I think of Batman’s greatest enemies, I tend to think of the diabolical Mr. Scaredy-Cat, don’t you? Needless to say, I hate any feud where wrestler A is some badass and wrestler B is deathly afraid to wrestle him. If you’re so afraid, then get out of the business. I’d be afraid of The Undertaker too. That’s why I’m not a wrestler. I expect two guys to fight with something to prove, not “Gee, I hope I don’t get hurt.”

Anyway, Angle is afraid of Undertaker so he attacks him with a wrench backstage. Of course what cripples a normal man is just a minor annoyance to UT who simply walks it off and we have ourselves a match.

Angle comes out with a giant oversized wrench and gets scared by his own pyro (Lex Luger used to do that, except it wasn’t acting.) Taker’s so mad he doesn’t even wait for his own music and the match is on.

Total BS match as Taker no-sells everything and squashes Kurt in under 10 minutes. This was supposed to be Kurt’s 1st “main event” level match, but he just comes off looking like a little bitch. Incredibly disappointing match no doubt ruined by the massive ego of the Deadman *.

Match #7

HHH vs. Chris Jericho (Last Man Standing)

Rules of this are simple. Whoever can’t answer a 10 count (ie, whoever can’t get up in about two minutes) loses. There are no other rules. This had some great build-up by the way, as it all unintentionally started when Jericho pinned HHH for the World title earlier in the year, but Earl Hebner admitted he intentionally counted fast to make sure HHH lost, so it was reversed. Later on, Jericho humiliated HHH time and time again, causing him to lose his title shot to The Rock, getting stinkfaced by Rikishi, and a personal favorite, getting pinned by The Brooklyn Brawler. HHH returned the favor with a 4-on-1 royal DX ass kicking, leaving Jericho a bloody mess. And here we are:

Let me just say, if you see this match, watch Jericho as he walks to the ring. He looks PISSED, and not the nostrils snorting, overacting type of pissed. I mean, he’s staring a hole through HHH that brings a nice level of intensity you don’t see very often. Neither man waits for the bell and it’s on.

Unfortunately, Jericho ruins it with some of the girliest looking kicks you can imagine. Actually his initial offense looks horrid, though he redeems himself with a rare springboard TOP rope dropkick. The two brawl on the floor as we notice the Spanish announce table remains destroyed. (You mean to tell me in all of these years of table smashing, no one ever thought to have a replacement ready?)

This segues into the first part of the match’s story which is the injury to Jericho’s ribs (from the DX beating) which HHH not only works on mercilessly, he does it taking full advantage of the “anything goes”stip by ignoring the ref’s warnings (which of course are meaningless.) And this is a good time to point out the sick sounds the ring has been making ever since Rikishi jumped off the cage, as each landing sounds like the ring is about to collapse, adding a little more realism to the situation. HHH dominates with Stephanie even getting a bitch slap in.

Apart from a brief comeback, HHH takes complete control getting several near ten counts from a DDT and then later a sleeper, but Jericho begs for more. So HHH obliges and Pedigrees him. HHH relaxes on the top rope, though to his shock Jericho gets up. So HHH goes to plan B and starts beating the sh!t out of him with a steel chair. HHH then goes to Pedigree Jericho on the chair but the referee tries to prevent it, and HHH rightly shoves him. (It’s NO DQ!) But that gives Jericho time to low blow HHH and WALLOP the hell out of him with said chair.

And that takes us to the second half of the match as HHH goes berzerk with the razor and blood is instantly pouring down his face much to Stephanie’s horror. (And if there’s one real problem with this match, it’s the cutaways to her seemingly every ten seconds.) But in the span of a Stephanie cutaway, HHH is glowing and his chest is covered in blood. Jericho destroys HHH with a bulldog directly into the chair. HHH briefly regains control and tries to Pedigree Jericho on the steps outside the ring, but Jericho backdrops him and HHH takes a man-sized bump from the steps to the concrete. HHH tries to grab a monitor in desperation, but Jericho catches him, and grabs his own, and the two hit each other in the face, knocking them both out.

Both are up at 9 though, and Jericho gets the first shot in and locks the Walls of Jericho. And give HHH credit for not only tapping (though it means nothing) but taking it the old school WCW way which is MUCH more painful than the Boston Crab way Jericho later did it. In a brilliant bit, HHH struggles to reach the ropes, but when he does, nothing happens, because it’s a no DQ match, so Jericho just doesn’t let go. I might add, HHH is leaving pools of blood at this point. Finally Stephanie runs in to pull Jericho off and she gets the Walls for her troubles, but HHH pounces (though pretty much ignoring the pain he had been in for the last minute.)

With Jericho down, HHH goes for the sledgehammer, but Jericho ducks and it hits the post instead, and moments later so does Hunter’s face. (That spot almost gets really nasty as Jericho positions HHH’s face under a chair when he catapults him, and HHH comes within inches of eating it on the way up.) Jericho grabs the sledgehammer and pops him in the gut with it, and then props him on the table for a move, but before he can do it, HHH back-suplexes him through the table. With both men down, HHH gets up at 9, and stays up until 10, then collapses for the victory. Both men get carried out.

Awesome match. AWESOME match. I will admit, it didn’t hold up quite like I thought, the opening sequence is really sloppy, but from HHH eating the chair onwards, this is a tremendous brawl. As much as we all hate HHH, HHH 2000 was outstanding, and he more than carried his weight here. And even with HHH winning, both men come out stronger for it. Either this or Bret Hart-Terry Funk in Amarillo ranks as the best match I’ve ever seen live. ***3/4.

Match #8

The Rock vs. Chris Benoit (Title can change on a DQ)

Pretty easy storytelling here. The Rock is champ. Benoit wants to be champ. Benoit gets the Rock’s attention by attacking him and locking the crossface on. And for good measure, he locks on the crossface to half the roster too. He gets help from Vince’s son Shane who served as Benoit’s mouthpiece (I liked that combo, it was a shame it didn’t last longer.) We get highlights of Benoit attacking Rock with a chair, and Rock then returning the favor, bloodying him and giving him a Rock Bottom on a car. And we also get that wonderful clip of Rock giving the crossface to Benoit with a crazed look in his eyes.

The stipulation is brought up because Commissioner Foley got tired of Benoit and Rock beating each other with chairs, so this way, if they use it, they lose the match. And if Rock does, he loses the title.

Benoit comes to the ring wearing a ripped up Rock shirt. The Rock comes to the ring looking very angry. The thing I like about this match is it works for both the casual fans and the “smarts” as Benoit was built up as a technical warrior who could tie Rock into knots, though part of the problem was that Benoit was kinda thrown into the position after jobbing a tad more than he should have his first few months in the WWF.

Shane sneaks into the ring, but Rock spots him, allowing Benoit to jump The Rock to start things. Great spot where Rock goes after Shane, chases him around the ring, climbs in, clotheslines Benoit, then goes back to chasing Shane again. Rock even tries for his own crossface thirty seconds in, but Benoit retreats.
Really fun match with some creative offense by both men including an awesome move I’m sure has a name, but Rock picks up Benoit for a powerbomb except he falls back and clotheslines Benoit on the top rope. Really NASTY move that I’m surprised I haven’t seen more. And you gotta give Rock credit, he more than holds his own here. He’s no Bret or Flair or anything, but I have a feeling Rock probably heard the whisperings that Benoit would run circles around him, and he steps his game up here.

Benoit hits his top rope headbutt and lays there for a minute. I’ve never been a fan of that, I know that it looks more real, but to me, real was Dynamite Kid doing the same move, then going for the pin while clutching his head in agony because the win just meant THAT MUCH. Rock hits the elbow, but Shane distracts long enough for Benoit to kick out.

So they come up with a reasonably creative finish in that Benoit grabs a chair to hit The Rock with. Referee Earl Hebner takes the chair away only for Shane to run in and whack Hebner with the chair. Hebner falls down, Rock beats up Benoit, then chases Shane with the chair, and with split second timing, Rock drops the chair at the EXACT moment Hebner turns around and sees Rock with it (though if Hebner had just paid attention to the TitanTron, he’d have seen Shane coming, the screen was right in front of him.) Hebner sees the chair, calls for the bell. Rock DQ’d, new champ.

And the crowd FREAKED out. You obviously can’t tell by the tape, but the crowd was probably 75% LIVID, and 25% overjoyed (my group fell in the latter). And there was TONS of stuff flying into the ring (you can see a lot of it when Benoit celebrates.) And to add insult to inury, Shane pops Rock in the face with a chair, busting the Rock open. Benoit leaves with the belt.

End of show.

No wait! Here comes Commissioner Foley, and he didn’t like what he just saw. And he orders it to continue. Hey, that’s swell, Foley. Where the hell were you when the heels cheated in 99% of their other victories? So my excitement turns to resignation, since no way is Rock losing twice in ten minutes.

And sure enough bloodied Rock beats Benoit with the Rock Bottom about three minutes later. Well, aside from the hokey finish, it was a really entertaining match, and I think a testing ground for Benoit’s future. ***1/4.

End of show for real.

Well, I’ll be honest. In 2000, I thought this was one of the best non “Big 5″ (now 4) WWF shows ever, but after 5 years time, I’ve come to discover it’s a show with a great final hour and a less than stellar undercard. The HHH-Jericho match was one of the WWF’s best of 2000, and the Rock-Benoit match is a truly underrated bout as well. The Rikishi match and Hardys bout are strong too, so we’re at least batting .500 here which is a lot better than most shows these days. Taker-Angle is awful, the Taz and Guerrero matches are nowhere near the quality they could have been and the Edge & Christian match is notable only for their promo.

But despite that, the good far outweighs the bad here. If you’ve never seen the Last Man Standing bout, you are in for a pleasant surprise, it’s an awesome brawl that may have been Jericho’s best WWF match. The WWF had a great run of great PPVs in 2000, and this one is no exception.

Thumbs up, recommended, B+.

-Sydney Brown