Five-Star Conversation 03.16.10: I’m Done With TNA, On To WrestleMania!

You know, I meant to post this the day after Cheech & Chong hosted Raw, but I was in a time crunch and spaced it. Better late than never, though, right?

Why I’m done with TNA
Okay, admittedly, that headline there is a little misleading. There’s no way I’m going to completely swear off an entire franchise, especially one with the quality of roster as TNA currently boasts. But, after all the speculation, after all the hype, after what we’ve seen occur on iMPACT! since The-Biggest-Night-In-TNA’s-History-before-last when Hogan and Bischoff debuted on the show (not to be confused with The-Biggest-Night-In-TNA’s-History when Hogan and Flair returned to the ring to chase away viewers), I’m just not interested.

Look, there are reasons to watch TNA:

Kurt Angle – We all thought we knew best when Angle jumped to TNA amid rumors of addiction and crippling injury, but here he is years later and still tearing down the house. Now, this is a personal thing, and if it works for you, by all means, take it and run with it, but I personally cannot stand this whole hyper-patriotism thing we’ve got from Angle at the moment. I’ve never liked the use of nationalism in wrestling angles but can deal with it if it’s done in a certain manner (I actually thought the whole Muhammad Hassan thing was a step in the right direction because it was edgy and struck a nerve, but that’s just me, apparently). As thegunisgood pointed out in one of my favorite comments ever to this column a few weeks back, nationalistic booking works because, by and large, the audience who pours money into a wrestling franchise does so because of angles such as this, I recognize that I am quite in the minority, so I’ll simply exercise my obligation not to watch.

The other facet of this angle that I quite dislike is the fact that Angle isn’t ramping up the patriotism in the face of some foreign threat, but because Mr. Anderson has a big mouth and isn’t shy about disrespecting the troops. Or something. Now, here is where I’ll stand my ground when I say certain ways of booking nationalistic angles implies unimaginative booking, because when you stick a mic in the hand of someone who’s going to tell you your side isn’t as great as you think it is, he’s going to get heat. That’s lazy and for someone with the verbal talent of Ken Anderson and that’s the best they can think to make people boo him, that smacks of desperation and complacency and I don’t buy it.

D’Angelo Dinero – As far as I’m concerned, this guy is pretty much THE highlight of iMPACT! right now and luckily for him, The Hogan/Bischoff Regime appear to recognize that and are pushing him…at least, I hope so. It seems odd to me that he should be pushed out of line for a shot at The TNA Title in favor of Hogan’s little pet project in Abyss, and that concerns me that it could be the first symptom in a larger problem…?

Daniels – I remain committed to this talent, but he’s being pushed back to “Been there/Done that/Conquered it” territory in The X-Division and all clues point back to The Regime not seeing him as main event potential (which should quell any ill feelings in the man himself, because that’s exactly what Bischoff has said about Chris Jericho, current WWE World Champion). Perhaps it’s time for him to move on…?

Jeff Hardy – Say what you like about Hardy, I’ve been a huge fan through the ups and downs, good and bad times, since I first saw him jobbing in The WWF over a decade ago. I’m interested to see what he can accomplish in TNA…if he’ll be breathing the air free men breathe in a month…

Homicide – While I was discovering RoH, I was particularly struck with Homicide and his ability to absolutely RILE ME UP in a completely old school heel manner! This little fucker can work a crowd! He’s the kind of heel that literally got under my skin, like I could feel my blood boil as I was yelling at the TV! That’s a dying art in today’s business, plus the guy can work and he impressed me greatly November-before-last when I saw LAX in person at a TNA house show. Unfortunately, though, he appears to have been abducted along with Samoa Joe, because I don’t think I’ve seen hide or hair of him since that first iMPACT! reboot when he failed to climb out of The Big Orange Cage (for which I don’t blame so much as those who required it of him and didn’t bother to ask if he could accomplish the task beforehand!).

Brian Kendrick – I’ve loved this kid since I first saw him trying to get a job on SmackDown! from Stephanie McMahon and felt his was a severely underutilized talent in WWE, even as he and Paul London held The WWETTTs for a year. I thought he had a lot going for him as THE Brian Kendrick, but, unfortunately, his commitment to paying The WWE Green Tax led him to being wished the best in his future endeavors, which, in turn and by all accounts, has him as the successor to Bob Holly’s Bitterest Man In Wrestling title. That makes me a lot less interested in cheering him, despite the fact that he still might wow me in the ring (to say nothing of the fact it could be really fun to spark up with him and get all the biased backstage hoohah). Add to that the manner in which it appears The X-Division is headed and I’d be willing to bet a fiver he’s lost in the lip-service shuffle inside five months.

Shannon Moore – Again, I’ve loved watching Moore since I first discovered him in Memphis Pro when he was in The Bad Street Boys with Gregory Helms, Joey Matthews and Christian York, but I know he’s always been cast and thus seen as a second-line performer because of his association with the more spectacular Hardys. I know I place a much higher value on him than most in The IWC, and I know he’s the new top contender for The X-Division Title, but, again, I think the same will go for Moore as I said will occur for Kendrick.

Kevin Nash – I will never not like Nash. Next to The Undertaker, he’s my favorite big man of all time. However, there comes a time when one should consider allowing the kids to step up and handle the heavy-lifting, and Nash has been fighting against that time for a good long time. I think anyone with any sense or knowledge would be hard-pressed to suggest that Nash isn’t one of the smartest people working in the industry today, and there’s still a usefulness for that, but I just don’t think it’s in the ring.

Red – See: Shannon Moore and Brian Kendrick, and add the fact that he looks like Rey Mysterio’s 16 year-old nephew. I think he’s spectacular, but I don’t think the current regime looks at him and sees stars.

Samoa Joe – It remains to be seen what’s going to happen in Joe’s case, but I’ll be willing to bet that, of all the people I’ll be discussing here, Joe, Styles and Angle likely stand the best odds of seeing the top of the card in TNA if things continue on as we’re seeing now, and that’s a good thing. Or, Hogan and Bischoff could fuck him over and we could see Joe/Punk renew their amazing RoH rivalry under the WWE umbrella. Short term, I’m willing to bet we’re a couple/few weeks away from seeing Joe stagger in to The iMPACT! Zone with strands of rope and tattered clothing hanging from his bruised limbs in time to make a save on the hapless victim of whomever it was who masterminded his kidnapping, as if he’d just manage to escape his captors during the window when the show is shooting.

AJ Styles – Turing Styles heel was an adventurous and ballsy move, although one wonders if it will pay off, as his turn has been highly criticized and not entirely solid. I still think he looks like a little kid playing dress-up in Flair’s custom-made closet (and that’s part of the point…if Flair’s clothes are all custom-made to him, why should they fit so immediately on Styles…that’s a metaphor, but you get the drift); it comes down to a promo-by-promo basis whether or not he actually pulls it off without straying into comic parody of Flair. Too, this is still another example of TNA taking a short cut to elevate a performer based upon his ability to imitate one of yesterday’s stars as opposed to being allowed to develop his own character and persona. Wasn’t that why Hogan was coming in…?

Desmond Wolfe – I’m not surprised that I think so much of Wolfe, considering his background, but it seems, thus far, as if he’s been allowed just so much to prove himself, and now he’s going to be kept around the top of the card, but in a supportive role (in fairness, WWE is really good in this manner, too, but if you’re going to offer an “alternative”, couldn’t there be a wiser way to spotlight and push everyone so deserving?).

Beer Money and The Motor City Machine Guns – Yes, we’re seeing them on iMPACT! these days…finally. But doesn’t the fact that it’s taken this long for them to surface imply that they’re being featured because Hogan and Bischoff listen to the internet and are trying to throw off the belief that they have their favorite boys who will be pushed and others who won’t? In fact, now that we’re seeing Hogan making the return to the ring I told you months ago that we would see, it strikes me they almost have to do this to keep alive the fallacy that they’re in TNA for the betterment of the franchise and everyone in it. In the end, though, watch them both be used to put over other teams and talent in the coming months who, perhaps, have a little red and yellow flowing in their veins.

Doug Williams – I also have a lot of time for Williams and I find it encouraging that, apparently, so do Hogan and Bischoff, implicitly making him a break-out star of The British Invasion as The X-Division Champion. This is the one hope I have for TXD, that Williams will be allowed a solid reign and keeping the Title and thus the Division itself holding true to its’ original intention, that it’s about No Limits, not Weight Limits. However, if all that is steered his way are Shannon Moores and Brian Kendricks, who, for better and worse (mostly the latter), have been programmed by WWE to see them as CruiserWeights and nothing more, where does that leave him, and, as champion, the division?

One thing I appreciate about the presentation of the show itself is that it has a real, solid sense of dangerous inertia to it, it MOVES and it’s easy to find one’s self seemingly carried away in a current over which one has no control, giving the sense that one is on a total thrill ride, something WWE painfully lacks and has for years now; however, if after the show’s conclusion, once the thrill ride spits one out to consider and sort out exactly what just went down, one tends to realize (or should if one has any sense) is that a talent the magnitude of a Rob Van Dam just came out of virtual semi-retirement, making a statement by debuting with the proverbial up-&-coming franchise to be beaten down by an old man with a baseball bat, leading, not to his own story, but to feed into someone else’s. That is nonsensical, foolishness and, quite frankly, bullshit.

And that leads to my final point. Here’s what I said in this column back in January, responding to Hogan’s quoted claim in bold:

I’m not there to wrestle. I don’t have a contract to wrestle. I’m there to run this company. Make it better, like I said, give the talent a choice. . . I’m giving the fans a choice, and the talent a choice and I’m going to prove to this negative guy that he’s wrong. . . I am going to reward those who are with me and those who aren’t my friends, I am going to win them over and make them my friends.

In this sense, it almost feels as if Hogan is using Punk as a catch-all for all the doubters and haters who are questioning his intentions, hell, even his very presence in TNA, and that’s fine by me, because I feel spoken to when I read that sentence and, for all the smack I talk in this article about Bischoff and him, I really hope he’s being 100% truthful in that statement, because that is what is right for the business and all involved in it, even Vince McMahon and WWE and its fans. It’s been almost a resounding majority who has been lauding the build to the return of Bret Hart and the manner in which McMahonagement has treated it, although I’m not 100% convinced Hart’s return is 100% the result of TNA’s having grown a set; Vince has been making the attempt to mend fences with Hart for a couple of years now, the next generation of Harts is under WWE employ and is on the cusp of making the jump to the next echelon and WreslteMania is looming on WWE’s business calendar with time still to solidify a malleable card, to say nothing of a Hart family DVD set in the works.

It seems to me Hart returning to WWE-TV would have happened even if TNA had been content to chill on Thursdays and collect its’ 1.0 rating, but we’ve witnessed the consequence of competition to Vince in the past, and the results have always been more favorable than when Vince’s so-called genius is allowed to “run wild” uncontested. If TNA manages to gather some steam and accumulate a larger fanbase (whether or not their product ends up being interesting or compelling or even better than it is at present), thus encouraging Vince to produce a more interesting product as a result, I swear to you, I’ll be the first to stand up and cheer Hogan and Bischoff’s presence and you can take that to the bank.

However, here we see Hogan, yet again, plaintively stating he’s not coming to TNA to wrestle and I, again, have to arch a brow at that statement. Didn’t we hear months ago that he had a hip replacement with the intention of returning for one last run, brother? And, more recently, in Hogan’s ever-evolving story about his TNA involvement since the news broke that he was coming in to the company, that if the fans start chanting “Hogan/Sting! Hogan/Sting!” that who was he, who was TNA to deny them? I’m sorry, this just stinks to me, and it’s all got the same odor of the wide-eyed innocent stumbling into a river whose current is running faster than he had originally considered and is swept away…how could I have known? I can see Hogan shrugging in mock humility as he lies to fans and radio hosts about how he just came in TNA to give the fans and the boys a choice, but the enduring power of Hulkamania and all those raging Hulkamaniacs wouldn’t let him just sit in the back and pull the strings, duuude. This feels to me like the same backhanded, pseudo-humility we’ve seen time and again and with which I grew up. I’m sorry, but this is just VINTAGE HOGAN, and I ain’t talkin leg drop, brother.

And look at what’s happened. This is basically detailing my own personal worst fears and trepidations where TNA’s direction was headed, and, judging from the ratings breakdowns, I’m not the only one who feels this way. The real problem is, Dixie Carter is so blinded by Hogan and Bischoff that she’ll listen to whatever they want to tell her, she’ll enact and implement anything they tell her the franchise needs to compete and conquer Vince “because they know how” and accept it all as gospel truth.

Now, obviously, if you are to look at comments here on this site, especially the poll set up here at 411Mania after iMPACT’s Monday night debut over which show was superior, TNA garnered a LOT of support, and emphatically so, thus, The Hogan/Bishcoff Regime is finding an audience and, who knows, six months down the road, perhaps we truly will see a war having developed on Monday night. As far as I’m concerned, though, I’ll keep an eye on the recaps, I respect a lot of talent on their roster and hope the best for them, but I’m checking out…at least for now.

Not to suggest that white guys can’t dance, that’s obviously not the empirical case, but…

And in completely non-related news…

…and Aldo Montoya’s headgear was created.

COMMENTPALOOZA!
There were some fantastic comments last week regarding WrestleMania, particularly The programs involving John Cena & Batista and The Undertaker’s Streak versus Shawn Michaels’ Career:

I disagree with the fact that a young gun beating The Undertaker will make their career. At least not this pack of young guns. Any one of these guys who defeats the undertaker will be labeled overrated for the rest of their life (deserving or otherwise). Shawn Michaels getting the win does really nothing to tarnish the legacy of the undertaker. Shawn Michaels is a pretty much unanimously like performer by the fans and there may be some fans that will hate him for beating the undertaker. Maybe this is The Undertaker’s retirement match. If he gets beat at Wrestlemania, who’s to say he won’t lose his powers and go back to the depths of hell where he came from. I will admit bias on this one though, i would much rather taker retire than shawn michaels.
Posted By: the danger stranger

Totally agree with danger stranger. The only credible man to end Taker’s streak outside HBK is Cena. That could happen at 27. Question is, does Taker have another year in him? Look back at his last 12 months, perhaps not huh?

But the other side of the coin is, where does HBK go post Mania? If he wins, what to next – Triple H, that’ll get stale quick. And then?

As good a performer as HBK is, he’s perhaps too good, nobody is at the level to dance with him any more. I could see HBK retire and come back for one more special match, with either HHH or the The Rock. There is no-one else beyond those two for him.
Posted By: The Man

I was thinking the same thing as Stranger Danger and The Man. It seems completely logical that they should use the Streak to put over a newer star who needs that final push over the hill, but the streak has become so important that I think it’s above being used in such a fashion. Beating ‘Taker at ‘Mania alone won’t make a Superstar’s career, and it would be a shame for them to give the honor to a “sure thing” only for it to not do the job and wind up having been sacrificed in vain. Just consider how certain the WWE was about Kennedy at one point. How big a disappointment would it have been if he’d been given the nod?

The streak is a lot like Andre the Giant’s undefeated streak (exaggerated though that may have been). It’s one of the few remaining special attractions in the WWE. It deserves to go to a Hulk Hogan. Using the Undertaker’s streak to solidify Ted Dibiase or Sheamus would be like if the WWF had used Andre to get Butch Reed over at Wrestlemania III. For that reason, I think it should be Cena. Like it or not, he’s the contemporary Hogan and I don’t think anyone on the roster now demonstrates the potential to replace him. HBK would be also be acceptable as he’s proved himself to be a candidate for the title of greatest of all time.

I would consider Randy Orton or CM Punk worthy of the honor too (to a much lesser extent). Orton is the one young guy who actually had a shot at ending the streak. Now that Orton’s anti-hero character is working so well, it would be a compelling story for him to challenge ‘Taker again to claim the distinction which eluded him before he’d truly come into his own. Punk has proven that he can continue to shine and improve no matter how many times his pushes stall; I think he’s beyond the potential “sure thing” status now. He has something to prove against the Undertaker, given their history. Ending the streak would be a great payoff for his mistreatment last year (if they wanted to turn it into a quasi-shoot angle).
Posted By: Schmidty

Danger Stranger and Schmidty, you bring up a point I never considered. I think it’s because, for the longest time, as Taker’s Streak continued to amass and evolve into something bigger and even more meaningful, I neglected to update my consideration of What Is The Streak as it gathered a sense of attraction all its’ own. That is exactly what you’ve done here…well done!!! Also, I was thinking in terms of a youngster being on the rise who has been on a more longstanding ride to the top, such as Randy Orton back around WrestleMania 21. However, since then, you’re exactly right, the decision to allow an up-&-comer would likely do little more than tarnish the investment made in making The Streak the self-standing entity that it is.

I really like the duality implicit in The Man and Schmidty‘s comments that echo the passing of the torch between Andre and Hogan/Taker and Cena. There’s a great story already built into that story if one remembers the history between the two when Cena first debuted on SmackDown! very shortly after the implementation of The Brand Split:

That clip (the end of it, anyway) would gain such significance and virtually come full circle in the pre-WrestleMania promo videos. If that’s how Taker goes out, it’d be a hell of a story. The question is, could WWE manage losing HBK one year and Taker the next? I mean, they may have to face that fact regardless if their bodies simply cannot go any longer and if the men are expected to have a life after they hang up the boots, but…although, on the other side of the coin, part of what makes the kids coming up appear to be sub-standard to a point is that we still have the HBKs and The Takers keeping the bar so high that the youngsters can’t measure up, even if that bar is being propped up mainly due to legend and reputation (I don’t necessarily believe that, BTW). The top echelon bowing out allows for the new crop to work together to set their own bar without the shadow of a legend forcing them to feel still like rookies by comparison.

It also struck me that, of all the top names in WWE, HBK is the one who has failed to hold a world title for the better part of the last decade. I think a good part of that comes under the notion that HBK has kinda transcended championships. He’s proven everything he needs to prove and everything holding a top belt is going to represent for him, which is, at least, in part, why he’s the man who was selected and allowed to retire Ric Flair…and why he may be the man to finally blemish Taker’s Streak. These are honors that can only be achieved once (save all the Flair talk…everyone but he, apparently, knows that should have been it for The nature Boy) and, unlike a title, can never be lost (which, considering HBK’s history of forfeiting titles is a better thing for him anyway…hahaha). This leads me to believe that maybe HBK will defeat Taker and name himself The Streak-Breaker along with The ShowStopper, The Main Event, The Icon and Mr. WrestleMania.

The Man brings up a couple of really excellent points, too. If HBK does end up going over and ending The Streak, what else is there left for him to do? Quite frankly, I’d like to see him spend the coming year working with a lot of younger talent, the Punks the Morrisons, the Kofis, to help elevate them, to work some really special matches with them, so they have that experience of what it takes and, hopefully, how to construct and provide those hang-on-your-seat/jump-to-your-feet contests that will really help them to make it to the next level. Maybe then, HBK has one last run with a world title, which he loses in a spectacle of a match at 27 before he hangs ‘em up for good?

Toward what both Danger Stranger and The Man suggest, it’s my belief that WWE will work with Taker for as long The Deadman thinks he can still go, even if that means allowing him six months of the year off to rest up and do whatever he deems necessary to manage to perform at the level he demands of himself. That said, if HBK defeats him at WrestleMania, thereby ending The Streak, I can see him retreating into The Dark Side to heal up his soul, as he’s done when he loses a pivotal match or has some other quality of malice forced upon him. But, I think for the great majority of fans to truly accept HBK going over Taker in such a manner, I kinda think Taker would have to offer to HBK some form of honorable congratulations, some sort token of respect. Then Taker and HBK could continue on, but it would give Taker a reason to retreat away from the spotlight for awhile, should he require it.

We already knew Batista had helped Vince beat up Bret. And we’d seen Batista willingly pass up a chance to qualify for the Chamber match. If they had spelled it out any more clearly it would have ruined the surprise element and/or insulted our intelligence.

Obviously, some manner of shenanigans were going to go down before Mania. But they left the what/when/where/how titillatingly unclear.

Personally, I expected Sheamus to retain so HHH could win the title at WM. When Sheamus was eliminated I thought Hunter would win the Chamber, so Mania would be a rematch. Then Cena won, to my surprise. And then – BAM – everything falls into place as Vince comes out and basically hands the title to Batista.

I didn’t see it coming but in hindsight it made perfect sense. That’s quality booking in my opinion.
Posted By: SimonRB

Batista winning at the Chamber was near perfect booking. Subtly has never been a strong suit of professional wrestling….so having a backroom deal between he and Vince without telling us beforehand gave the viewers a surprise ending and allowed us to piece together the clues. Why would Batista beat down Bret? Why would a man who ripped Rey’s head off cause he was tired of coming up short…who changed his entrance from machine gun pyro to a spotlight cause it was “about him and not us” just walk out of a Chamber qualifing match…his last chance to have the ultimate spotlight (main event at Mania)??? Cause he had Vince in his back pocket. Gave Batista even more heat. Allowed Cena to garner sympathy. Seems like perfect booking to me.

The build that im the least impressed with is a feud that I actually have little interest in but it just annoys the hell outta me…the Legacy breakup. Now, I think Orton has little to no redeemable qualities as a character/performer but I recognize he has a solid fanbase so him getting cheered to the degree he has lately isn’t all that surprising. Im just upset at how Rhodes and Dibiase have been built. I believe they should’ve “made” after their DX feud. Not superstars or anything but their own heat and repoir with fans outside of Orton. But instead they’re just his lackeys. What could’ve been a poor man’s version of the Evolution breakup is basically Orton beating down his 2 butlers for outliving their usefulness while the crowd cheers.
Posted By: tone

I gotta say, you guys impress me. This all just went right over my head. I’m not gonna try and make excuses, because I just didn’t put this stuff together the way you did, but maybe I’ve just gotten so used to not having this quality of subtlety involved in a WWE angle that I wasn’t looking for anything else to go down other than what we had on the surface. I also will admit to having been so staunchly stubborn and used to watching McMahonagement play “plot convenience theater” that I didn’t think we’d see this kind of shrewd, thoughtful booking, especially since Taker/HBK seems to have cornered the market on such a quality of booking for this year’s event.

So I said earlier in my quote responding to Hogan, that if Vince feeling TNA breathing down his neck would result in a better quality of booking, I’d admit as much and stand up and cheer TNA’s efforts for having forced Vince into thinking. Do you think this is why we have what we have this year, or had McMahonagement simply had this on the books regardless? Considering Money in the Bank is still up in the air in many respects (no pun intended), one wonders…or did they spend so much time and consideration on making these two angles so compelling that other loose ends have been left dangling?

What about Kofi Kingston? He was my favourite to win MiTB but he isn’t even in it or on the card all together???
Posted By: Guest#9878

I have a feeling that next week we will see Kofi vs. either Rhodes or Dibiase & get beat down by both of them. Orton will come to his old enemy’s aid to set up Orton & Kofi vs. Legacy. If they don’t allow Kofi on the Wrestlemania card I will be angry. He’s been working his ass off the last couple of months. I wanted him in MITB but am happy they gave it to Evan Bourne.
Posted By: Tim

I agree with Christian being the front-runner but I don’t think he’ll win either. I have a sentimental vote for Benjamin, but he never gets over. Unless someone loses their spot, this might be the year the person cashing in doesn’t win the belt.
Posted By: Angry Bear

I wouldn’t be shocked to see Vince punish Kofi for trying to help out Cena this week by forcing him to team with somebody he hates. Randy Orton Either way, Kofi deserves to be in WM.
Posted By: The Great Capt. Smooth

Does anyone else get the feeling, pursuant to the comments and rumors that the $itB landscape still isn’t ironed out, that McMahonagement can’t make up their minds on whether to involve Kingston in the Orton/Legacy situation or to stick him in $itB?

Look, would anyone be upset if $itB this year consisted of Christian, Matt Hardy, MVP, Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin and Kofi Kingston, and, meanwhile, Drew McIntyre was driven to prove what a fluke it was that Kane ended his undefeated streak by having confidence enough to put up his InterContinental Title in a separate match? Maybe it can be a No Holds Barred affair, considering their penchant for brawling and the fact that it’s WrestleMania? Just a thought…

RIP Peter Graves

That’s all for this week! Thank you for reading!
RESPEEEECK!!!