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Alright people, it’s Friday so time for WWE Smackdown. We’re on the heels of a bad WrestleMania. My quick thoughts, Night 1 was about a 3 out of 10 on the 411 scale, Night 2 squeaked to 7 out of 10. All in all not good. Not good for Smackdown in particular as their build to Mania was bad, and their contributions not great either. Cody vs. Randy was an ass backwards mess, Trick vs. Sami was forgettable, Jade and Ripley was uninspired, and Drew vs. Fatu was every PG era Extreme Rules match I ever sat through. In the aftermath the blue brand is even worse it seems, Jacob Fatu looks to be heading to RAW to feud with Roman Reigns, Drew McIntyre is about to head out to film Highlander, and it looks like the Street Profits finally emerged from hibernating since October to move to RAW. So Smackdown lost two main event players and a great tag team. Also RAW got Sol Ruca and Ethan Page coming up from NXT. Meanwhile Smackdown still has Solo Sikoa and his glorified midcard group still sucking up oxygen. We’ve had the usual post Mania roster cuts, the entire Wyatt Sicks crew is now unemployed as are Andre Chase and Alba Fyre among a few others. So a pretty piss poor Mania build and thus far post Mania slump.

As for tonight, we’ve got Giulia defending the women’s US title against Tiffany Stratton. Poor Tiffany, from last year to this year is a massive fall from grace. Damian Priest and R-Truth defend the tag team titles against. . . sigh, JC Mateo and Tama Tonga. Trick Williams and Lil Yachty will be yapping, because we can’t have nice things. Paige and Brie Bella will suck up air time, because we can’t have nice things, and Jacob Fatu will likely bid farewell to the blue brand. WWE champion Cody Rhodes is probably not done with Rand Orton given how their match ended, though who knows at this point. OK, I know that comes across as very negative but I’m only looking at what’s in front of me. That said, hopefully tonight can start a turn around for Smackdown. They’ve had bad shows over the last several weeks but we’re not all that far removed from several good ones too. So let’s hope tonight gets things back on track.

First up we get a sort of recap of Mania. They didn’t censor the crowd popping for Randy punting Cody at least. Also they’re still trying to sell Roman vs. Punk as the best Mania main event, which it decidedly is not. It’s plenty good but not the best.

Joe Tessitore and Wade Barrett welcome us to Ft. Worth, Texas, for the show. We see Cody Rhodes arrive, his left eye still kind of a mess. New women’s champion Rhea Ripley is here as well. Oh, Trick Williams still has a goober in a gingerbread costume following him around. That crew runs into Danhausen, and Danhausen brings up how he cursed Stephen A. Smith and now the Knicks are losing because of it.

OK, to the ring and here’s the Samoan Werewolf Jacob Fatu. Fatu gets a mic and says he told Roman Reigns on Monday that he was going for that title, and that he needs that title. Then Roman looked him and told him he wasn’t ready. Fatu admits Roman might be right, because he’s never been ready. From friends, family, and everyone, it’s been a constant refrain for him. Not ready, not the right time, you’re just not good enough. Roman can say that, but Fatu invites him to step into the ring and prove it. That brings out the Usos. Man poor Jey, another fall from grace over the course of 12 months that should be closely examined. Jimmy and Jey get into the ring and get mics. Jimmy says they heard him on Monday, and they get his motivation. Fatu can have everything Roman has and more, but he should focus on Cody’s title not Roman’s. The play is to eat, learn, and level up. Join the family, because nothing says advancement like the WWE reforming the Bloodline yet again. Jimmy keeps making the sales pitch, then Jey says it’s too late for all that. Fatu stepped up, opened his mouth, and now he’s in the deep end. If Fatu wants Roman’s respect then walk up to him and get ready for war. Solo Sikoa’s goof troupe shows up now to make everything worse. No Talla Tonga in sight but Solo talks his way to the ring and tells Fatu not to listen to Jimmy and Jey. Solo knows how they lie to everyone. Those two weren’t here when Solo brought Fatu into WWE. Then he asks what those two could possibly teach Fatu. If Fatu wants to beat Roman and become champion then Solo can do that for him. All evidence to the contrary. Solo says if Fatu wants to beat Roman he needs an army, and Solo has one. Tama Tonga takes Solo’s mic and asks why they’re wasting time on this. Fatu’s a lost cause, he could never beat Roman Reigns as he can’t even beat Solo. Fatu superkicks Tama for that one then says the only person he should be talking to is Roman, none of these jamokes. But if Solo thinks Fatu can’t beat him then line it all up, they can settle that tonight. And as a reminder, Fatu is all gas no brakes yadda mean? Tama getting Solo into trouble is a nice change of pace but Solo still tends to just make things worse and his program with Fatu wasn’t anything to write home about the first time so this wont be different. A bit too prolonged for a revolving door promo segment.

In the back Cathy talks with Giulia and Kiana James. Cathy has to lie to us about tonight being a significant Smackdown episode. Giulia and James snipe about not being on the WrestleMania card. Giulia beat Tiffany once and will do it again, she feels no pressure only anger. So the friction between James and Giulia is starting in earnest I guess.

Back to the ring here’s Tiffany Stratton to a very muted reaction. Her title shot will be up after the break.

Post break here comes Giulia along with Kiana James.

Match #1 – Women’s US Title Match: (c) Giulia w/ Kiana James vs. Tiffany Stratton

Tie up, Tiffany with a couple of up and overs in the corner then some gymnastics and a clothesline for a 1 count. Giulia counters a suplex with a Small Package for 2 then they trade pin attempts to try and wake the crowd up, it seems to work more or less. Giulia blocks a cartwheel Alabama Slam then slams Tiffany down for 2. Headbutts from Giulia but Tiffany fights back with a Finlay Roll then Giulia blocks a Prettiest Moonsault Ever, putting her in a tree of woe then follows with a low dropkick. Next Giulia with a hanging neckbreaker off the apron to the floor, that sends us to break.

Some knees from Giulia, lots of daylight on those, before they head back to the ring. Corner chop from Giulia then she again slams Tiffany down but the face. Super Dragon style Curb Stomp from Giulia, gotta love to see that one, but only a 2 count on the cover. Giulia ties up Tiffany in the ropes and rakes her nose then hits a running dropkick to the lower back for a 2 count. Rest hold from Giulia, Tiffany fights out of the face lock then rallies and we get a double facebuster do put them both down. Tiffany with elbows then a clothesline as we come back to broadcast. Handspring back elbow from Tiffany, then a handspring Stunner for a 2 count. Tiffany goes up top, Giulia clobbers her though and climbs up with her. Some elbows from Giulia, she wants the avalanche Butterfly suplex and hits it but can’t find a 3 count. Tiffany avoids a Northern Lights Bomb then James trips her up so Tiffany pulls her up the dodges a charging Giulia who wipes out James on accident. That leads to Tiffany hitting the Finlay Roll and Prettiest Moonsault Ever but Giulia counters the landing into a Rings of Saturn variant. It’s a crucifix version of it, and Tiffany switches the angle for a 2 count leading to the hold breaking. Both women avoid strikes then trade blows, Tiffany misses her low double stomp and Giulia with an Arrivederci knee. Again Tiffany avoids the Northern Lights Bomb with an Alabama Slam then a Prettiest Moonsault Ever to win.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Tiffany Stratton won the title in 8:56

Rating: 2.5 stars
Thoughts: Decent match, felt like they had a little more and another couple of minutes could have hit some higher gears. But Giulia is still kind of dead in the water on Smackdown, while Tiffany might add some prestige to this title which has been struggling to matter ever since they created it.

Next a recap of the Miz and Danhausen stuff from WrestleMania because we’re getting Miz and Danhausen later.

A Danhausen video follows, he went to Miz’s house for shenanigans. We’ll get more of that video later.

Then a recap of Paige and Brie Bella winning the women’s tag team titles. Because those belts are meaningless, and they’ll talk to make things worse after this break.

Post break Cathy talks with Tiffany on the entrance stage. Tiffany feels she’s been stuck in second place the last months but now she’s no longer the runner up as she holds the distinctly secondary title. Catchphrase follows, then here come Brie Bella and Paige. Those two head to the ring to talk. Brie feels great to stand here as champion. She tries to get sympathy for Nikki, the crowd doesn’t care. She brings up calling Paige and welcomes her back. Paige asks if we missed her, then mentions she lost her voice more or less at Mania. But coming back at Mania was a wonderful way to return. It was a rough road to get here but Paige is happy to be back in WWE. She reminds everyone that Smackdown is her house and the two of them aren’t going anywhere. That brings out Charlotte Flair and Alexa Bliss, everyone’s dressed to work. Both Charlotte and Bliss have mics and talk their way to the ring. Charlotte and Bliss are happy, sort of, to see Paige back. They want the tag team titles back, and one Mania match isn’t going to stop them. Charlotte offers the predictable match, the crowd give “yes” chants because they miss Bryan Danielson, but Brie and Paige are both down for the match. A ref comes down so that’s our next match after this break.

Match #2 – Women’s Tag Team Title Match: (c) Brie Bella and Paige vs. Alexa Bliss and Charlotte Flair

Joined in progress as Brie and Bliss are working. Russian leg sweep from Brie and both women are down. Worth noting, Paige and Brie are in the face corner. Bliss with a low dropkick then she tags in Charlotte. Chop from Charlotte then an overhead throw. Brie takes a gamen giri in the corner then Charlotte ties up her leg but misses an attack and Brie with a terrible dropkick. Charlotte is bad stopping the tag so Brie has to look like a goof until she can land an attack. Jacy Jane then shows up and attacks Paige to get the match thrown out.

OFFICIAL RESULT: No Contest in 1:57

Rating: DUD
Thoughts: Nothing to think, this was just an excuse to get Fatal Influence to debut. That’s not a group I’m compelled to watch.

The rest of Fatal Influence are here and lay waste to the other wrestlers. I’m not thrilled about them being here on Smackdown because they kind of bored me on NXT more often than not. Honestly I’m not sure the women’s roster needs them on Smackdown, but WWE hasn’t made women’s wrestling on Smackdown a priority beyond Jax and Lash lumbering around for quite a while. This might be an indicator of change though.

After this break we’ll hear from WWE champion Cody Rhodes.

Post break we get a Royce Keys video. It’s still focused on where he comes from and how he’s makin’ a difference.

Here comes WWE champion Cody Rhodes. Mostly positive reaction to his song at least, but it’s more mixed as the music fades. Cody asks what the people want to talk about. Well he wants to talk about how he left Mania 42, not as champion but making the long walk up the ramp battered, bloodied, and kicked in the head. His only superpower is that he always gets back up, and the moment he takes the losers lane his run is really over. This run started 4 years ago right around the corner from here. He wanted to send a message that even though he wouldn’t be medically cleared, he wanted to make sure he sent a message. A message to Randy Orton, who is not here tonight, a man who got Cody into this business. Even after Randy’s best shot he’s still here and standing. A message for a sarcastic Sami Zayn that he, his friends, fans, and family, will be gold just like Sami claimed. But the most important message is to those outside forces that stuck their noses in his Mania plans, those people are 0-3, now either send your best or just count your money and mind your damn business. OK, he’s more than got the crowd back with him now. He says it’s easy to find Cody, no matter where you’re from he’s here and easy to find but hard to beat.

Next a recap of Fatal Influence, Jacy Jane, Fallon Henley, and Lainey Reid. . . you know in case you missed it.

In the back various MFT members are drawn by gravity into one place. Solo tells JC and Tama to win the titles. He says he’ll handle Fatu.

Back to the ring, here come Damian Priest and R-Truth, their title defense will be up after this break.

Post break here comes Tama Tonga and JC Mateo along with Botcha Loa, but they have to use Solo’s music because none of them matter.

Match #3 – Tag Team Title Match: (c) R-Truth and Damian Priest vs. JC Mateo and Tama Tonga w/ Tonga Loa

I’m not sure I want to count that women’s tag as a real match, but if you do then they barely made it under the 25 minute limit between matches. If you don’t then it’s been a long time since we had a real match on this episode. Truth and Tama start, Tama with strikes right away. Truth fights back with strikes then runs into a dropkick while trying the Moves of Doom. Tama with a mocking 5 Knuckle Shuffle attempt, but Truth avoids an elbow drop then tags in Priest. Priest unloads on Tama with punches and then kicks to JC as well who tries to get into things. JC blocks the rebound clothesline then cheap shots Priest who takes a Loa attack on the floor behind the refs back an we head to break.

Tama works over Priest in the ring then tags in JC, who only gets to work during commercials I guess. JC with some control work to set up Loa cheap shots, even his headbutts look terrible. Combination of strikes from JC then a standing moonsault for 2. Tama tags in and hits a hilo then makes gremlin noises. JC back in, the crowd want Truth as Priest takes a double suplex for a 2 count. Truth rallies the crowd, which care about him and not at all about anything the heels are doing. Tama with a chin lock. Priest fights free of that as we rejoin the broadcast but Tama drops him with a shoulder block. JC tags back in and Priest takes some corner work. Priest fights out of the heel corner then wipes out JC with a rebound clothesline and both men are down. Truth gets the hot tag and unloads on JC with the Cena Sequence including the 5 Knuckle Shuffle connecting. Loa gets up to break up an Attitude Adjustment. The ref is distracted and Tama hits Truth with a Whirling Dervish. JC follows with a bridging German suplex and Priest has to save the match. Tama tosses Priest out of the ring then hits Truth a few times. Truth avoids a corner attack from Tama, Priest with a blind tag then we get that Rise Up move, the 3D variant, and that gets the win for the champs.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Damian Priest and R-Truth retained the titles in 8:15

Rating: 2.5 stars
Thoughts: I really appreciate that both Priest and Truth can play face in peril so well, it lets them have some variance in their matches that others don’t have. This was fine but I imagine a lot of it taking place during the break hurt it. The MFT goofs also always seem to have the same match and that’s become profoundly uninteresting at this point. The extra .5 is largely for Truth’s connection with the crowd, which remains excellent.

Next more Danhausen and Miz shenanigans. Miz took an accidental shot to the groin at least once, then Danhausen takes his Slammy, which loses the base. Danhausen runs into Maryse on the way out, then avoids a powder attack from Miz which hits Maryse. They both hate Danhausen, who rides off on a child’s bike.

In the back we see Trick Williams and Yachty get ready then head to the ring along with the gingerbread doofus. That sends us to break as Trick backhands a PA who wanted to warn him about something.

Post break, here’s US champion Trick Williams and his chant. He’s also got Yachty and the gingerbread man with him. The ring has some balloons and whatnot for the new champion. OK, Sami’s in the gingerbread costume based on that gesticulation to the music. Trick thinks the people are excited to celebrate with him. The crowd pops. He recaps winning the US title. Yachty brings up still being here after the Mania promo tour and he will stick with Trick for a while, because one of his agents is in TKO and wants him to still be here making things worse. They’re doing away with the open challenge, if you want a handout find a clinic but if you want the US champion he’s looking like a tall glass of chocolate milk. Yachty throws money around, then pyro goes off. Yeah, now the gingerbread man whacks Trick with his cane, the unloads on Yachty too. Of course it’s Sami, he takes the head off then beats the crap out of both men as Joe calls him a man sized batch of cinnamon, which is a tremendous line. The crowd boo, Sami then wipes out Trick with a Helluva Kick. Sami heads up the ramp, quite pleased with himself.

In the back Royce Keys has his Andre trophy and Cathy talks with him. Keys feels great, the last few weeks have been emotional but he won the Andre and reminds us he’s just getting started. And he takes everything he wants. Solo wanders over, because FML we just need to see his stupid head more this episode I guess. He says there’s room for Keys in his family. Run the other way Keys, that’s a black hole for your future.

Up next is Danhausen vs. Miz, Danhausen’s stat line takes inspiration from Crash Holly’s old bit. Danhausen heads to the ring in the Hausenmobile. Wade with a Wacky Races reference, commentary has been a highlight for sure tonight if nothing else. After this break we’ll get that match.

Post break we get a recap of Sami attacking Trick.

Back to the ring here comes Miz, who of course looks happy and does his stupid spin because he’s a programmed robot and can’t do anything but what he’s always done. Oh, Kit Wilson is with him.

Match #4: Danhausen vs. Miz w/ Kit Wilson

24 minutes between matches, they’re really pushing it. The crowd chant for Danhausen, Wilson gets the Miz’s Slammy which Danhausen had brought with him. Hurricanrana from Danhausen sends Miz out of the ring. Miz is flustered, Wilson distracts Danhausen so Miz can attack from behind. Miz yells about there not being a curse then cheeses with the crowd. Danhausen curses Miz, pyro goes off to blind him then Danhausen with the roll up for the pin.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Danhausen won in 1:43

Rating: 1.5 stars
Thoughts: The crowd like Danhausen and Miz has been a really good foil for him thus far. Harmless fun, but as a match even on the Danhausen scale I think this one fell a little short.

Post match Danhausen runs around Miz, runs under the ring and Miz chases him. Danhausen then leaps over Wilson and Miz runs into Wilson allowing Danhausen to escape in the Hausenmobile.

After this break new women’s champion Rhea Ripley will talk to us. So she’s going to get interrupted, the question is if Jade does it or Blake Monroe.

Post break we get a Blake Monroe little promo, she’ll be coming soon.

After that here’s the new women’s champion Rhea Ripley. Ripley is dressed to wrestle, for whatever that’s worth. She gets a mic and plays a bit with the crowd. She recaps winning the title and briefly puts over former champion Jade Cargill, but Ripley wants to prove the women’s champion is a fighting champion. Plenty of women want their shot, so she invites anyone to step up right now. Out comes Fatal Influence. Jane says we all get it, she says that several times before getting to the ring and yelling at the crowd who are giving her a ton of boos. That goes on for a bit then Jane wants credit for their group taking out the legends earlier. Ripley did in fact see that and says it was impressive, but you should quit while your ahead. Fallon chimes in, which is a mistake, to say they’re about to take out Ripley. Reid, who has the single most obnoxious voice I’ve heard in a minute, can’t help but talk too. Ripley is used to the numbers not being in her favor, but that hasn’t mattered at all. So if they want a fight she’ll give them one. Jane promises they’re always ready to throw hands. Nick Aldis shows up and they finally fix the audio mixing to make the heat seem louder. Aldis makes Jane vs. Ripley for right after this break.

Match #5: Rhea Ripley vs. Jacy Jane w/ Fallon Henley and Lainey Reid

The bell rings as we come back. Ripley plays with the crowd then they tie up. Snap down from Ripley. Jane takes a bit to recover then Ripley catches a kick but Jane grabs a side headlock. Ripley shoves Jane off then runs her over with a shoulder block. Jane with a avoids a boot and lands an elbow. Hurricanrana from Jane but her corner attack gets turned around, Jane then gets clubbed to the floor. Ripley misses a diving dropkick but catches Jane and does an Electric Chair drop onto the ring apron. Reid and Fallon distract Ripley so Jane can land a punt kick from the apron to send us to break.

Back in the ring Jane with some generic control work. Corner work from Jane including a cannonball senton. Ripley fights back with strikes of her own but Jane cuts her off with an elbow then a superkick. Headlock from Jane, that’s the state of things as we rejoin the broadcast. Running neckbreaker from Jane gets a 2 count. Ripley then hits a capoeira kick, then wrist control clotheslines and a superkick from Ripley then a back suplex to facebuster. Jane avoids a Razor’s Edge and lands a superkick, then a Busaiku knee for a 2 count. Ripley avoids a Rolling Encore elbow then boots Jane down. Ripley up top, Jane climbs up with her and they fight over a spot, Ripley slips free and ties up Jane then superkicks her and tries an Electric Chair but Jane counters into a Victory Roll for 2. Superkick from Ripley then a Razor’s Edge and Shining Wizard for a near fall. Jane avoids a Prism Trap, Ripley then with a headbutt and Fallon shows up to block a Riptide and the match is thrown out.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Rhea Ripley won via DQ in 10:55

Rating: 2.5 stars
Thoughts: Decent match but nothing special. They clearly like Jane and she gets some heat, she’s a little boring in the ring but a chunk of that is by design. I don’t think this hit the star making effort they wanted but it wasn’t bad.

Post match Ripley takes the beat down.

Next a recap of the Fatu and Roman stuff from RAW, in case you missed it.

In the back Fatu warms up, Jimmy and Jey show up and warn him that Solo’s goons will get involved but they’ve got his back. Fatu says he doesn’t need their help. Jey told Jimmy that would happen. Anyway our main event is up next after this break.

Post break a recap of the beatdown on Ripley from just before. You know, in case you missed it.

In the back Charlotte and Bliss get trainer help, Ripley comes over and the three bicker but Bliss says the three of them should team up to take care of Fatal Influence. Charlotte isn’t interested and Bliss plays peacemaker with Ripley.

Next the Brock Lesnar hype video, same one from RAW but it’s the usual excellent WWE production. He really was one of one.

Back to the ring, here’s Solo again with his goons in tow. This many Solo segments can’t be healthy, it might even be a war crime. Anyway Solo vs. Fatu will be up after this break.

Ricky Saints is coming to Smackdown next Friday. That doesn’t make up for losing Fatu.

Back to the ring here comes Fatu.

Match #6: Jacob Fatu vs. Solo Sikoa w/ JC Mateo, Tonga Loa, and Tama Tonga

They tie up, Fatu backs Solo into a corner but gives a clean break so Solo kicks him. Side headlock from Solo, even mocking Fatu’s lines can’t get him heat. Fatu wont drop on a shoulder block, Solo tries again but still no luck, then Fatu drops him with a right hand. Solo gets cornered and Fatu with a 10 headbutt spot, he gets to 7 before Solo counters. Now Solo tries a 10 punch, he gets it then trash talks and lands a right hand. Fatu intercepts him with a running elbow then a running back elbow. JC trips Fatu so Solo can shove him out of the ring. Solo then distracts the ref for Tama and Loa to get shots in. Jimmy and Jey show up, Fatu sees them and yells that he doesn’t need help but then turns into a clothesline from Solo for a 2 count. That sends us to break.

Some ringside brawling from Solo to Fatu. Fatu blocks being sent into the ring steps and bounces Solo off of them. Back in the ring Fatu misses a hip attack, he took a lovely bump off of that though. More control work from Solo and one of Loa’s terrible punches counts for a cheap shot I guess. Solo appeals for heat, no success but he lands a hip attack. Man he’s just boring and the crowd are not invested in anything he does. More of the same, control from Solo, distraction, cheap shot, rinse and repeat. Another hip attack from Solo. Solo’s still in control as we come back. Fatu fights back with punches but gets turned inside out by a German suplex from Solo. Headbutt from Solo but Fatu returns it and they trade strikes for a bit. Boots go back and forth then Fatu fires up with a flurry of punches then a kick and clothesline and senton. Fatu with a corner 10 headbutt spot and this time it works, then he follows up with a hip attack. Tama distracts Fatu, but Fatu still avoids the Samoan Spike and lands a superkick. Fatu up top, more distraction so JC can shove him down. Fatu with a suicide dive onto all of Solo’s goons, then he runs into a superkick. Spinning Solo connects but Solo doesn’t pin, he goes up top for a Splash but he still can’t pin the Werewolf. Solo tries a Samoan Spike, Fatu superkicks him then hits the pop up Samoan Drop and Mighty Moonsault to win.

OFFICIAL RESULT: 10:58

Rating: 2.5 stars
Thoughts:

Post match the goons attack, Jimmy and Jey then head down but Fatu fights off Tama and JC on his own. Superkick for Loa as well then chair shots for Tama and JC while Jimmy and Jey watch from the apron. More chair shots from Fatu, the man isn’t playing around. He wraps a chair around JC and Tama, then hip attacks for both men because Fatu is awesome. Suicide dive onto Loa, then he dismantles the announce desk, headbutts him onto it then does the running Splash off the barricade through the table. Have I mentioned that Fatu is awesome and I’m still upset he’s leaving Smackdown? Fatu gets back in the ring to taunt, he stares down Jimmy and Jey then says he didn’t need their help. I mean killing jobbers isn’t the same as what Roman brings but it’s a nice statement made by the Samoan Werewolf as he says he’ll see the Usos and Roman on Monday. That closes the show.