Kevin’s AEW Dark Review 6.09.20

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Fuego del Sol and Low Rider (0-0) vs.SCU (9-6)

I though SCU had more tag matches until their belts. There wasn’t all that much about the jobber team that felt special. They did a few high flying moves but this was all about SCU getting a quick win. They’ve been stumbling a bit lately so it was needed. They won in short order, taking this in 2:59. [NR]

The Dark Order spoke in the back about strength in numbers. That’s because Alan Angels has joined them under the name “Five.”

5 (0-0) vs. Lee Johnson (0-9)

They don’t put 5’s record since it might be starting back over. He was aggressive, charging at the bell and standing on Johnson without giving him much room. He put the target on Lee’s left arm, which prevented him from doing an Irish whip during his attempted comeback sequence. 5 also hit a nice spinebuster. Johnson did get a short comeback including a sweet swinging neckbreaker, tope con hilo, and Blue Thunder Bomb. 5 got going and Mr. Brodie Lee showed up. A modified Backstabber got 5 the win in 5:19. That was a fun little match thanks to Johnson’s run. [**1/4]

The Dark Order took turns beating on Johnson to Lee’s approval.

Brady Pierce (0-1) and Musa (0-4) vs. Santana and Ortiz (5-4)

Last week, Santana and Ortiz had an awesome squash. I’m hoping for more of the same here. They mostly did. They destroyed Musa with some good offense. Pierce demanded in and wanted the fight, which offended Santana, who kicked his ass. Pierce got in a back elbow but missed a moonsault. The cannonball Poetry in Motion spot continues to be cool. They won with the Street Sweeper in 5:09. Another extended but enjoyable squash. [NR]

In the back, QT Marshall told Dustin and Brandi that their match will now be a singles match for QT. Allie doesn’t think Dustin needs to wrestle each week. QT also showed off shirts Allie designed for them. They feature a big picture of QT with tiny shots of Brandi and Dustin. He waned them to wear the shirts to the ring.

Anthony Catena (0-0) and Pineapple Pete (0-3) vs. The Butcher and The Blade (5-4)

Imagine wasting your pyro budget on Butcher and Blade on Dark. Also, imagine them having the same tag record as Santana and Ortiz. Something is wrong there. This was one-sided again, with both Pete and especially Catena taking a beating. They hit the Full Death Driver(?) for the win in 3:58. A much less fun squash. [NR]

QT Marshall (7-6) vs. Zack Clayton (0-0)

QT’s record is apparently only for 2020. Alli, Dustin, and Brandi were with him. Brandi’s shirt was hilariously oversized. Allie gawked over QT on commentary, calling him hot and stuff. She loved when he skinned the cat. When QT got in trouble, Allie moved to ringside. Clayton hit a stalling vertical suplex and got a near fall. Brandi took a spill and seemed to injure her wrist. She was on the apron to stop QT from cheating. Dustin checked on her and when QT did the same, Allie began screaming that her hand was hurt. QT ignored Brandi for her. Then Allie grabbed Clayton’s leg, allowing QT to win with the cutter in 5:14. Not much of a match but the storyline progressed well. [**]

Christopher Daniels (5-2) vs. Sonny Kiss (4-7)

This is also Daniels’ 2020 record. Sonny was quick to use flipping armbars, a split into an armbar, and really bothering Daniels with his flexibility. Daniels finally got the upper hand with an Exploder. He eventually applied a crippler crossface and it looked like it might be over but Sonny reached the ropes, again using his flexibility. Sonny fought back and hit a slingshot split splash and moonsault for near falls. Daniels avoided the split leg drop and they went into a series of rollups. Daniels hit Angel’s Wings to win what was a really solid match in 8:29. [***]

Brandon Cutler and Peter Avalon (0-14) vs. Jurassic Express (1-0)

Jurassic only has a 1-0 record since eit’s the Luchasuarus/Stunt duo. Avalon bullied Stunt a bit so Luchasaurus kicked his ass. He wanted no part of Luchasaurus so he tagged in Cutler, who didn’t fare much better. Tandem offense for the Express is mostly Luchasaurus launching Stunt into people. Once Stunt became legal again, he took a beating until a tornado DDT put Avalon into a daze. Luchasaurus did his thing with the hot tag, including hitting the Extinction Level Event. Cutler and Avalon fought with each other more before Stunt got two on a big splash. Cutler and Avalon rallied with a tornado DDT, diving elbow, and picking up some bar falls. Stunt hit his own tail whip kick and then wanted a chokeslam. He needed help from his partner to hit it and Luchasaurus added a moonsault to win in 10:24 It may have been a bit long but it picked up late and Jurassic Express is fun. [**1/2]

AEW World Champion Jon Moxley (12-0) vs. Robert Anthony (0-1)

Moxley is 12-0 in 2020 singles action. Brian Cage stood by Taz on commentary for a closer look. Moxley took it easy here. He seemingly had fun engaging with Anthony on the mat. It led to Anthony hitting some dropkicks and Moxley was forced to escape and regroup. That got Moxley going as he hit a tope suicida and left Marko Stunt hanging in the crowd for a high five. Mox killed a bunch of time wearing this guy down with the only highlight being him bending this guy’s back around the ring post. He takes forever so Anthony gets him in a Romero Special and hits a Death Valley Driver for two. Anthony avoided the Paradigm Shift and they awkwardly looked at each other forever as Anthony went up top. He got caught with a powerbomb when he jumped and Moxley only got two on a facebuster/Glam Slam of sorts. Anthony tapped to the Texas Cloverleaf in 13:10. What the hell was that? Moxley looked terrible, taking 13 minutes to beat a jobber. It wasn’t even done in the interesting way of the guy showing heart and stunning everyone. It was just really boring. [*]

5.0

The final score: review Not So Good

The 411

After a brisk 44 minute show last week, this one was closer to 90 minutes and didn't need to be. The main event dragged on for days and a lot of the show did. Ther e are good things in there like Kiss/Daniels and the Jurassic Express match but nothing you have to go out of your way to see.