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Lest We Forget: ECW One Night Stand 2006

March 6, 2013 | Posted by Maxwell Baumbach
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Lest We Forget: ECW One Night Stand 2006  

Hey everyone, before we get off and rolling, I would like your help with something. I plan on starting a series called, “I’d Rather Be Dead Than Watch _____.” This series will entail reviews of the worst wrestling matches of all-time. I’d love to hear your suggestions for what matches should be a part of the first edition. Please e-mail me, tweet me, or post your ideas in the comments section. Thanks!

ECW One Night Stand 2006
From the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York, New York
June 11, 2006

The show opens cold to the rapid fans of the Hammerstein Ballroom chanting “E-C-DUB!” Paul Heyman’s music hits and he makes his way out to a huge ovation. Heyman thanks the fans, and says that now ECW will appeal to a brand new, global audience. He hypes up the debut episode of the TV series on SciFi. Heyman tells the fans that their popular demand is what brought back ECW. Heyman thanks the crowd again, and tells them that he will lead the new revolution, and that ECW will be better than Raw and Smackdown. This was kind of sad in hindsight.

The opening video package plays, and we are officially welcomed to ECW One Night Stand. Joey Styles is at the commentary table.

Taz vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler

Lawler smacks Joey Styles in the face on his way out to the ring. As the bell rings, Joey Styles runs into the ring and hops on Lawler’s back. Lawler throws him to the mat and goes for a piledriver, but TAZ BREAKS IT UP WITH THE TAZMISSION! Lawler is out cold at 0:37!

Winner: Taz
Though this was incredibly brief and wasn’t a technical masterpiece, this was exactly what it should have been. Plus, I don’t think anyone would’ve wanted to see an extended match between these two at this point. The crowd exploded for the Tazmission, and this got them hot for the rest of the show. 1 for 1.

Clips are shown from the ECW/WWE Head-to-Head special. Tazz joins Joey Styles at the commentary desk.

Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle

“Fuck ’em up, Angle!” chants from the crowd before the bell. Orton stalls once the match officially gets under way, which the audience does not take kindly to. Angle gets the Ankle Lock right off the bat, but Orton breaks the hold by escaping to the floor. “Angle’s gonna kill you!” chants fill the ballroom. Angle controls a side headlock to maintain the advantage. Orton wiggles out and goes to the outside once again. Angle sends Orton to the mat with a double-leg takedown and slaps Orton from back mount. Angle applies a modified sleeper but Orton gets to the ropes. Angle offers up his head, and Orton applies a headblock but is immediately shucked off. Angle offers his head again, and this time he delivers a back suplex to Orton. Angle tries to spear Orton in the corner, but Orton evades and Angle goes shoulder-first into the ring post. Orton tees off with stomps and uppercuts. Orton has control, but Angle fires up out of nowhere with a double-leg takedown. Orton uses underhanded tactics to regain the advantage. Orton hits a knee to the back of the neck and covers for two. Angle uses his amateur skills to take over, but Orton fights out by biting Angle and landing elbows. The crowd chants, “Orton swallows!” as Orton cinches in a headlock. Orton counters out of a belly-to-belly and German suplex attempt and sends Angle into the buckles. Orton charges, but Angle moves and hits a German suplex! Angle gets the best of an uppercut exchange then strings together a series of three German suplexes. Angle goes for the Angle Slam, but Orton counters out with an armdrag and then hits a dropkick for two. Orton goes for the headlock backbreaker, but Angle counters out with a nasty backdrop driver! ANGLE SLAM! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! The crowd chants, “Break his Ankle!” and Angle applies the ANKLE LOCK! Orton rolls out and sends Angle into the buckles. HEADLOCK BACKBREAKER BY ORTON! One, two, NO! Angle blocks an RKO but then eats a back elbow. Orton goes up top and hits a cross body, but Angle rolls through! One, two, NO! Orton catches Angle with a clothesline as they get to their feet. Angle goes for the Ankle Lock, but ORTON CATCHES HIM WITH A ROLL UP! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Angle picks the ankle- ANKLE LOCK! ORTON TAPS AT 15:08!

Winner: Kurt Angle
While this probably would’ve been a more even contest on any other PPV, this match was perfect for the environment they were in. Orton played up the pretty boy aspect of his character, which the crowd ate up, and Angle looked like a “wrestling machine,” which is what they were billing him as at the time. 2 for 2.

The crowd serenades Orton with chants of, “You tapped out!” Orton demands a second staff member to help walk him to the back, and the crowd lets him hear it.

The FBI (Little Guido and Tony Mamaluke w/ Big Guido) vs. Super Crazy and Tajiri

Crazy and Mamaluke exchange on the mat to kick things off. Super Crazy connects with a standing fireman’s carry for two. Mamaluke gets a hiptoss into a short arm scissors. Super Crazy powers up with the hold still locked in and drops Mamaluke with an electric chair variation. Mamaluke hits the ropes but is elevated and dropped face-first onto the mat. Super Crazy follows up with a moonsault to the back for two. Both men manage to tag out. An exchange between Tajiri and Little Guido sees Tajiri get the initial advantage with his kicks, but Little Guido counters out of a tilt-a-whirl by finding a Fujiwara armbar. Tajiri gets to the ropes, but Guido stays on top of him. Tajiri comes out the better of a mat exchange and cinches in hammerlock/single leg Boston crab combination. Tajiri relinquishes the hold and puts Guido in a tree of woe. Mamaluke tries to run in to cut things off, but Super Crazy intercepts him with a dropkick. Crazy now has Mamaluke in a tree of woe on the opposite side of the ring! Tajiri and Crazy each score with dropkicks in the corner. Tajiri tags in Super Crazy. Crazy gets the first in his moonsault trio, but Mamaluke pulls Guido out of the ring before the second, with Crazy managing to land on his feet. The FBI try to regroup on the floor, but Crazy wipes them out with an Asai moonsault off of the second to the floor! Super Crazy tries for another dive, but Big Guido trips him up and pulls him to the floor. Big Guido sends Super Crazy into the ring post then sends him back inside, where Little Guido covers for two. Mamaluke comes in, but Super Crazy finds a flapjack out of nowhere. Mamaluke regains control and cinches in a camel clutch while Little Guido tacks on a dropkick off the second rope. Tajiri has apparently seen enough, and he comes in and cleans house with kicks to both Little Guido and Super Crazy. Super Crazy tries to make the tag, but Little Guido cuts him off. Super Crazy then hits a flapjack, this time on Little Guido. Super Crazy makes the tag! Tajiri lights up Guido with kicks and covers for two after a spinning heel kick. Tajiri applies an octopus hold, but Mamaluke is in to break it up. The FBI try to whip Tajiri into the ropes, but he comes back with a handspring back elbow to both men! Tajiri connects with a WICKED SUPERKICK on Little Guido, but Mamaluke breaks the count at two. All four men are in the ring, and Tajiri and Super Crazy manage to lock both FBI members in a tarantula! Big Guido comes into the ring and misses a clothesline on both Super Crazy and Tajiri. The partners then take down the big man with a double drop kick. The FBI wipe out both opponents with a double clothesline. Little Guido hold Crazy over the ropes in Boston crab position, and then dropkicks him in the back, sending him into the crowd! Tajiri tries to fight off both FBI members, but finds himself planted with a double fisherman’s buster! That does it at 12:24.

Winners: The FBI
These four men didn’t do anything too insane, but this match was still a ton of fun. The action never ceased, and the result was a highly enjoyable, chaotic tag team affair. 3 for 3.

Big Guido helps his fellow FBI members up after the match, and Big Show’s music hits! Big Show takes out all five men who were involved in the match. Despite initially getting a lukewarm reaction, he won over the crowd as the beat-down progressed.

A promo airs for the ECW on SciFi debut.

Taz and Joey Styles hype the title matches, but John Bradshaw Layfield cuts them off from the balcony. JBL calls ECW backyard trash while the crowd chants, “You suck dick!” JBL tells the fans that he sees no women here, and that the fans are chanting about a male organ, “so tell me, who’s the fruit booty?” JBL’s delivery killed me there. JBL talks about his beating of The Blue Meanie last year. JBL proclaims himself the “King of Hardcore.” JBL says that RVD is a star because of Vince McMahon. He then tells Taz that he shouldn’t leave network television for SciFi. The fans chant, “Asshole!” at JBL, while JBL tells the fans they paid to see him. JBL says he is the voice of an A-show, and that ECW is the minor leagues. JBL calls himself a wrestling God and tells the fans to kiss his ass.

A video hypes the Rise and Fall of ECW book.

World Heavyweight Championship: Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Sabu

Both men start off the match holding chairs, but drop them. Mysterio gets the better of Sabu on the first mat exchange. Both competitors try to hit the other with chairs, but neither can connect. Sabu catches Mysterio coming with a back body drop, and then tacks on a Poetry in Motion off of a chair. Sabu tries for the triple jump moonsault, but Mysterio drop toe holds him onto the open chair. That spot was quite telegraphed, as Sabu charged twice, and the crowd gives it to them. Mysterio jumps off of the chair and hits a hurricanrana. Mysterio misses a 6-1-9, and Sabu makes him pay by throwing a chair at his face. Sabu drapes Mysterio on a table between the ring and the guardrail. Sabu rolls inside and jumps from the chair to the top rope. Mysterio rolls off the table, and Sabu tries to catch him, but eats the guardrail instead. Mysterio takes the action inside and hits a moonsault press onto a standing Sabu for two. Sabu catches Mysterio on the apron, and hits a guillotine legdrop with Mysterio dangling on the second rope! Sabu covers but only gets two. Sabu hits an ARABIAN FACEBUSTER! One, two, no! Sabu sets up a table on the outside. Sabu gets on the apron, but is dropkicked by Mysterio, and Sabu lands on the table. MYSTERIO NAILS A SPRINGBOARD SEATED SENTON ONTO SABU, DRIVING HIM THROUGH THE TABLE! That spot could not have looked any better. “Holy shit!” chants fill the ballroom as Mysterio rolls inside. Sabu gets back in the ring (rather quickly) and Mysterio covers for two. Mysterio hits a SPRINGBOARD LEG DROP TO THE BACK OF THE NECK! ONE, TWO, NO! Sabu evades a Poetry in Motion spot and hits a springboard leg lariat. Sabu sets up a chair- TRIPLE JUMP MOONSAULT! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Sabu goes for the Arabian facebuster off of the second, but no one is home! Mysterio nails Sabu with a kick and sits him on the chair. Mysterio goes for another seated senton, but Sabu moves and Mysterio lands on the chair! SABU VIOLENTLY THROWS A CHAIR INTO MYSTERIO’S FACE! Yikes! Mysterio rolls onto the floor and stands up on a table while Sabu prepares a chair in the ring. TRIPLE JUMP DDT TO THE OUTSIDE THROUGH THE TABLE! OH MY GOD! They BARELY caught any of the table, and this could’ve legitimately injured one of these guys. Doctors pour out to ringside, and one of them demands that the match be stopped, ending the contest at 9:08.

No Contest
This was far from perfect. A lot of the spots seemed choreographed, and the selling was pretty bad. That said, it was entertaining. The spots that hit were really cool, and the crowd ate it up. 4 for 4.

The crowd initially chants “Bullshit,” but eventually give both men a standing ovation.

Taz and Styles throw it to a video package to hype the Edge/Foley vs. Dreamer/Funk match.

Mick Foley and Edge w/ Lita vs. Terry Funk and Tommy Dreamer

Mick Foley grabs the microphone and says he sold out…he sold out Madison Square Garden! Mick Foley says he had respect for ECW when it was owned by a visionary and creative genius- Stephanie McMahon! Edge and Lita come out to the ring, and Edge rips on the fans. The crowd chants, “You’ve got herpes!” at Lita. Lita poorly attempts to rip on Dreamer and Funk. Lita calls Tommy’s wife a skank. Dreamer and Funk make their way out, and Beulah McGillicuty is with them! Beulah has a mic. Beulah cracks a joke about Lita putting dongs in her mouth. Beulah asks to make this a six person tag, and calls Lita a bitch. Once poeple other than Foley started to talk, this went downhill.

Mick Foley, Edge, and Lita vs. Terry Funk, Tommy Dreamer, and Beulah McGillicuty

Edge and Dreamer lock up to start. Dreamer wins the first exchange, so Edge tags out to Foley. Foley wants to get his hands on Terry Funk. Funk tags in, and he gets the best of Foley with open hand strikes. Things break down, and all of the men are going at it on the outside. Dreamer and Edge pair off, as do Foley and Funk. Funk and Dreamer gain the advantage and take Foley into the ring. Edge rolls in as Foley gets met with a street sign, and Edge is greeted with a trashcan to the head. Foley is on the apron, and Tommy Dreamer baseball slides a trashcan into him, knocking him to the floor. Edge lights up dreamer with the street sign on the outside. The camera cuts to Foley, who is lighting up Funk with punches. Edge pulls a ladder out from underneath the ring. Back inside the ring, Edge nails Dreamer in the face with the end of the ladder. Edge props up the ladder in the corner. Edge tries to spear Dreamer into the ladder, but Dreamer counters and HIP TOSSES EDGE ONTO THE LADDER! Funk and Foley are back inside, and Funk puts the ladder over his head and spins around, wiping out both Edge and Foley. Dreamer and Funk stand up the ladder near the corner. Funk scales the ladder while Edge takes out Dreamer. EDGE TIPS THE LADDER OVER, SENDING FUNK CRASHING TO THE MAT! Dreamer sets up Edge for the death valley driver, but Lita comes in and low blows him. Foley and Edge go to the outside and bring a barbed wire board into the ring. EDGE AND FOLEY SEND THE BOARD CRASHING ON TOP OF TOMMY DREAMER! Edge and Foley pick up the board again, but Funk trips the and THE BOARD FALLS ONTO MICK FOLEY! The crowd chants for fire. Dreamer and Funk try to send Foley into the board, but Foley stops the whip by PUTTING HIS ARMS INTO THE BARBED WIRE. Foley pulls free, but he is lit up with punches by Foley and Dreamer. Both men THROW FOLEY INTO THE BOARD! Edge pulls Dreamer to the outside and crotches him on the guardrail. FOLEY THROWS THE BARBED WIRE BOARD INTO TERRY FUNK! Lita passes a ring of barbed wire to Foley, who wraps it around his forearm. FOLEY SMASHES HIS FOREARM INTO FUNK’S FACE! Foley then GRINDS THE BARBED WIRE INTO FUNK’S FOREHEAD! Funk yells that his eye is messed up, and medics take him to the back. Edge drags Dreamer inside, and FOLEY NAILS HIM WITH A BARBED WIRE BAT TO THE BACK! Lita comes into the ring, and LEG DROPS THE BAT INTO DREAMER’S CROTCH! Beulah is mortified. The crowd chants for Sandman. Foley pulls out Mr. Socko to a chorus of boos. FOLEY APPLIES THE MANDIBLE CLAW TO BEULAH! Dreamer attacks Foley, but Edge cuts him off. Foley puts the Mandible Claw on Dreamer while Edge sets up in the corner. EDGE SPEARS DREAMER! They could cover, but instead, they shift their focus to Beulah. Edge gets Beulah in pumphandle position, but Funk emerges from the back with his head wrapped up, and he has a barbed wire 2×4! Edge, Foley, and Lita look at Funk, and Dream low blows Edge and Foley! Funk hits Foley in the gut with the 2×4 and then nails him across the back with it. Funk then gives Edge the same treatment! FUNK AND BEULAH LIGHT THE 2×4 ON FIRE! FUNK NAILS FOLEY IN THE GUT WITH THE FLAMING 2×4! Foley tries to escape to the apron, but FUNK HITS HIM AGAIN, AND FOLEY FALLS TO THE FLOOR THROUGH THE BARBED WIRE BOARD! Funk celebrates as the 2×4 is extinguished, but EDGE KNOCKS FUNK OFF THE APRON ONTO THE BARBED WIRE BOARD! Edge turns around, and Dreamer plants him with a DDT. DREAMER CHOKES EDGE WITH THE BARBED WIRE! Lita comes in and breaks the hold. Beulah takes out Lita! CATFIGHT! Lita gets the better of it, but Dreamer pulls her off. DEATH VALLEY DRIVER TO LITA! Edge sneaks up behind Dreamer, and EDGE DROPS DREAMER TO THE MAT WITH THE BARBED WIRE! EDGE SPEARS BEULAH! Edge pins Beulah in a provocative manner- ONE, TWO, THREE! The chaos ends at 18:45.

Winners: Mick Foley, Edge, and Lita
Well, this is something you certainly wouldn’t see in WWE today. This was nonstop violence. Everyone involved had something to contribute here, and Edge getting the fall on Beulah made him look like a complete scumbag. This certainly isn’t for the faint of heart, but it delivered everything that one could have hoped for in this match. 5 for 5.

Dreamer scoops Beulah up off the mat to a round of applause. The crowd chants “ECW!” in appreciation.

Another ECW on SciFi commercial airs.

Backstage, John Cena is shown with his belt. The camera then cuts to RVD.

Balls Mahoney vs. Masato Tanaka

Both men slap hands at the bell. The first exchange is an even one until Tanaka gets a cross body for two. Tanaka nails Mahoney with a running forearm in the corner, but then gets caught with a powerslam. Mahoney lights up Tanaka with a series of punches. Balls charges, but Tanaka sends him to the floor with a low bridge. Tanaka tries for a plancha, but Balls ends up on top, and he unleashes on his opponent with punches. Mahoney then smashes beer cups into Tanaka’s head. Tanaka manages to whip Balls into the barricade. Tanaka charges with a chair, but Mahoney side-steps him to evade. Balls throws the chair into the ring and takes the action back inside. Mahoney goes up top, but Tanaka cuts him off. SUPERPLEX BY TANAKA! One, two, no! Tanaka goes up top, but this time Balls cuts him off. Balls hits a superplex of his own for two. Both men grab chairs and stand off. Balls gets the better of the exchange, and NAILS TANAKA WITH THE CHAIR! That does it at 5:06.

Winner: Balls Mahoney
This was felt really hollow and unimportant after what it followed. The match wasn’t boring, but it was entirely passable. I get that the idea was to throw out something quick before the main-event, but this didn’t fully catch my interest, and it seemed like they were going through the motions until the finish. I wish Tanaka had stuck around, but knowing how WWE handles Japanese wrestlers, he probably would’ve been turned into a comedy character. 5 for 6.

A video package sets up the main-event WWE Championship match between John Cena and Rob Van Dam.

Before the WWE Championship match can get underway, Eugene comes out to the ring. The crowd loves Eugene! Just kidding, they f***ing hate him. Eugene says he loves ECW. Eugene claims that he is hardcore. He then goes on to read a hilariously bad poem, where he says he wants to take a bath and use Taz’s towel. Eugene points to different fans and says he wants to hug them. Uh oh, Sandman is here! Eugene tries to hug him, but Sandman nails him with a Singapore cane! Sandman then canes him all the way to the back. Surprisingly, I thought this segment dropped off once Sandman came out. After his entrance was over, the crowd seemingly had no interest in him.

For the 9,568th time, we are reminded that ECW on SciFi will premier in two days.

WWE Championship Match: John Cena (c) vs. Rob Van Dam

Huge “RVD!” chants fill the ballroom after his music cuts off. John Cena gets massive heat, and the hard camera zooms in on the “If Cena Wins, We Riot” sign. Cena throws his hat into the crowd, but they throw it back. Cena’s shirt also gets thrown back five different times. The crowd chants “Fuck you, Cena!” as the bell sounds. The fans tells Cena that he can’t wrestle as he gets a fisherman’s suplex for two. RVD gets his two-try enzugiri move off on Cena, who then scrambles out to the floor. “Whole Fuckin’ Show!” chants rain down. Both men exchange punches in a boo-yay spot, where RVD gains the advantage. Cena clotheslines RVD to the floor, and the fans chant “same old shit.” Cena responds by going up top and flying to the outside with a modified atomic elbow to the back of RVD. RVD fights off Cena, and then hits a moonsault press off of the steel steps! RVD’s got a chair! Cena cuts RVD off and prevents him from using it. Cena charges RVD who is on the barricade, but RVD stops him with a boot. RVD tries to hit another moonsault press off the barricade, but Cena shoves him off into the crowd! RVD takes control as they brawl through the crowd, and drapes Cena on the barricade while he ascends to the ring apron. SPINNING LEG DROP TO CENA! RVD has Cena on the apron, and RVD SLINGS HIMSELF TO THE OUTSIDE AND NAILS A GUILLOTINE LEG DROP! RVD gets back inside and dropkicks a chair into Cena’s face for two. RVD HITS A ROLLING THUNDER WITH A CHAIR ON TOP OF CENA! RVD crawls toward Cena for the cover! ONE, TWO, NO! RVD plants Cena with scoop slam and place a steel chair on top of him. RVD goes for a Split-Legged Moonsault, but CENA GETS HIS KNEES UP WITH THE CHAIR ON TOP OF THEM! CENA DDT’s RVD ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR! One, two, no! Cena wedges a chair in the corner between the second and top rope. CENA SLINGSHOTS RVD INTO THE CHAIR! One, two, no! Cena hits Blue Thunder, and lifts his arm up to “same old shit!” chants. Five knuckle shuffle by Cena. Cena sets up for the F-U as “asshole” chants echo from the crowd. F-U, but RVD slips out and nails a dropkick. Cena still keeps control and goes for a three-point stance, but all he gets is a boot to the face. RVD slings up top, but CENA SLAMS HIM DOWN WITH A SCHOOLBOY POWERBOMB! Cena covers for two. RVD awkwardly dumps Cena to the floor. Cena gets up to the apron, but RVD dropkicks him off and sends him crashing into the barricade! RVD brings a table into the ring and props it up in the corner as Cena slides in. RVD turns around into a drop toehold! STFU! The STFU is locked in! RVD gets to the ropes, and the referee has to pry Cena off. Cena and the official get into it. CENA LAYS OUT THE REF WITH A CLOTHESLINE! RVD goes up top, but Cena crotches him. Superplex by Cena. Cena goes to the outside and brings steel steps back inside with him. CENA LEVELS RVD WITH THE STEPS! Cena dumps the steps to the floor and jawjacks with the crowd. Cena covers, and Nick Patrick comes in to count two. Cena gets RVD up for the F-U, but RVD grabs the top rope. F-U TO THE FLOOR! Cena celebrates and turns around, but a masked man has slid into the ring. THE MASKED MAN SPEARS CENA THROUGH THE TABLE! He decks the official! The mask comes off and it’s Edge! Edge pulls Cena to the middle of the ring, and the crowd chants, “Thank you, Edge! RVD rolls inside and sees Cena laid out on the canvas. RVD goes up top- FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH! RVD tries to wake up Nick Patrick, but he’s out cold. PAUL HEYMAN COMES OUT TO THE RING! RVD COVERS, AND HEYMAN COUNTS- ONE, TWO, THREE! RVD WINS HIS FIRST WORLD TITLE AT 20:41!

Winner: Rob Van Dam
This was a thoroughly enjoyable main-event. The crowd was all over Cena and completely behind Van Dam. Edge’s run-in was interesting, and it was kind of weird to hear the crowd thanking him after his actions earlier in the night. Could this have done without inside interference? Sure. However, this was still a great match that led to a great moment. 6 for 7.

RVD runs into the crowd to celebrate with the fans. Members of the ECW roster fill the ring. Paul Heyman has a huge smirk on his face as RVD’s music blares. Van Dam makes his way back to the ring, where Kurt Angle and Big Show lift him up in the air with the title.

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The 411: While nothing on this show was a top-tier MOTYC, there were some really great matches, such as the six person tag and the main-event. Most of the undercard delivered as well. When I pay to watch a show, nothing irks me more than when I find myself bored. There wasn't a single thing on this show that could be classified as "boring," and just about everything is completely entertaining. Definitely check out One Night Stand 2006.
411 Elite Award
Final Score:  9.0   [  Amazing ]  legend

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