Lovell’s AEW Dark Review 3.16.21

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Let’s jump into this week’s episode of AEW Dark.

Luchasaurus (5-1) vs. Cezar Bononi (3-2)

We’ve got a little storyline action here after Pretty Peter and company went after Marko Stunt on Elevation. Excalibur asked Taz early on if he’s ever had a big Brazilian, and Taz’s reaction is why they’re the best commentary team in the business. Can’t say I’ve had a big Brazilian either, Taz. Speaking of big Brazilians, Bononi got in a lot of offense in the battle of the giants, but it was Luchasaurus hitting the standing moonsault for the win at 6:29.

Blake’s Rating: **1/2

Leyla Hirsch (3-2) vs. Savannah Evans (0-1)

HERE WE GO. I’d like to think myself and the AEW Dark regulars led to her being signed by the company since we were on the Hirsch train after her first AEW Dark match several months ago. Not only does TK send the 411 crew those checks, but he signs the talent we want signed! What a guy. This match was exactly why she belongs. Evans stands at 5-10, while Hirsch is, well, not quite 5-10. I thought Evans did a good job in her role, but Hirsch locked on the submission and forced her to tap at 3:19.

Blake’s Rating: **

– After the match, Hirsch gets all up in Vickie Guerrero’s face. I’m all for Leyla vs. Nyla Rose in a battle of the beasts.

John Skyler (0-2) vs. John Silver (5-1)

Speaking of beasts, John Silver is FREAKING JACKED, baby. So is John Skyler, but in the battle of the Johns, I prefer LONG JOHN SILVER. -1 was also back to offer his managerial services, but please don’t tell the fun police. Who does that kid think he is out there enjoying his life?! And how dare AEW support a family that experienced a tragic loss? Fantastic beards on display in this match, but it was Silver earning the victory at 3:11.

Blake’s Rating: **

Tesha Price (0-4) vs. Penelope Ford (15-9)

Price has good charisma, and since she is still getting an entrance on this show, you know AEW is at least intrigued with her potential. I would like to see longer matches when these two are in the ring to give them more experience, but Penelope doesn’t care what I think (or Jim Cornette, for that matter) because she took care of business and got the win at 3:24.

Blake’s Rating: **

Chaos Project (7-10) vs. Fuego Del Sol & Jake St. Patrick

St. Patrick got jumped before the match even started, and attacking someone named St. Patrick the day before St. Patrick’s Day is a fine way to get good heel heat. Our friend Fuego tried to get the win to celebrate his partner’s favorite day of the year, but Luther and Serpentico hit the Creeping Death for the victory at 2:48.

Blake’s Rating: SQUASH

KiLynn King (1-1) vs. Jazmin Allure

My hope is that people like King start to get more promo time on AEW Dark and/or AEW Dark: Elevation once the company figures out the format. She cut a promo several months ago that was actually pretty good, but they need more of that to develop these characters a bit more. Allure showcased some potential here, but King hit the Kingdom Falls for the win at 3:35.

Blake’s Rating: **

Angel Fashion, Baron Black, Vary Morales, & Ryzin (AEW 8-man tag debut) vs. Colt Cabana, Evil Uno, Stu Grayson, & Alan Angels (AEW 8-man tag debut)

-1 is back to continue his undefeated streak. Of course, Baron Black is also back, and he continues to be a favorite when it comes to unsigned talent with the most potential. Unfortuantely, our guy Black took all the finishers in this match and even got kicked by -1. Give me -1 vs. Baron Black next week, TK! It was Cabana locking in the Billy Goat’s Curse for the win at 3:56.

Blake’s Rating: **

Gunn Club (3-0) vs. David Ali, Adam Priest, & Seth Gargis (AEW trios debut)

I long for the days of having Austin Gunn energy. However, he didn’t have to use much energy in this one, as the Gunn Club made quick work of things and got the win in 1:01.

Blake’s Rating: AUSTIN 3:16 SAYS I JUST SQUASHED YOUR ASS

Bear Country (4-0) vs. Dean Alexander & Brick Aldridge (AEW tag debut)

Not to be outdone by the Gunn Club, Bear Country just destroyed these kind gentlemen. Bear Bronson even pinned both guys at the same time in 59 seconds.

Blake’s Rating: GIVE ME A SQUASH YEAH

D3 (0-3) vs. Nick Comoroto (3-4)

Is this match gonna be better than D3: The Mighty Ducks? It might because I don’t remember that movie being all that great. Maybe Comoroto wanted to go decide for himself, as he squashed D3 here in about two minutes.

Blake’s Rating: WHAT? SQUASH…..WHAT? SQUASH…..WHAT? SQUASH

Jorel Nelson & Royce Isaacs vs. Varsity Blonds

At this point, I want AEW to go all-in on putting together some 80s-themed vignettes for Brian Pillman Jr. and Griff Garrison. Have their long, flowing locks flying around in the wind while they walk down the street wearing aviator sunglasses and bomber jackets. Hell, have them call Michael Hayes for matching fanny packs. He’s got them. Trust me. As for this match, it was pretty one-sided, with the Blonds earning the win at 4:28.

Blake’s Rating: **

Vertvixen (0-3) vs. Madi Wrenkowski (1-2)

There’s something about Vertvixen’s entrance music that’s just great. I’ve been impressed with Wrenkowski, and she’s undoubtedly gonna get more work with AEW moving forward. These two really worked well together and laid in some hard shots, and it was Wrenkowski picking up the victory at 4:19.

Blake’s Rating: **1/2

SCU (6-0) vs. Carlie Bravo & Aaron Solow (AEW tag team debut)

Where’s The Captain? His team with Bravo is good stuff. Anyways, the storyline continues with Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian needing to win to stay together, and I’m curious how they eventually pay this angle off. I also like that Exaclibur and Taz play up their challengers having a chance to win, even though we know that’s not happening. It’s the little things that keep you invested. Good work here from all parties involved, but the streak continues as SCU hit the BME to get the victory at 8:42.

Blake’s Rating: ***

Sonny Kiss & Joey Janela (9-9) vs. Ricky Starks & Brian Cage (2-1)

Starks and Cage STILL selling the Revolution street fight, and that is why I love the pro wrestling. And then there’s Joey Janela. Just kidding. Janela and Kiss are pretty entertaining as a team. This was a very enjoyable match with Excalibur and Taz pushing Starks and Cage’s struggles after the street fight, which allowed Janela and Kiss to showcase their skills. Starks hit the spear to get the win at 10:06, but the biggest developments took place after the match. Cage was pissed at Starks, and after they left, Janela expressed his frustrations with Kiss. I’m intrigued!

Blake’s Rating: ***1/4

Jack Evans (1-1) vs. 10 (4-1)

The legend -1 on commentary for the main event. Hopefully he’s there to push his upcoming showdown with Baron Black. Then again, I’ve gotta believe that -1 is racking up foes left and right given his quick rise to the top of the wrestling world. This was a back and forth match, with Angelico getting involved late to give Evans the advantage before 10 kicked out of the Phoenix Splash. 10 then locked in the Full Nelson to earn the win at 10:01, but he was bleeding profusely afterward and seemed to have taken a shot to the nose or mouth on the splash from Evans.

Blake’s Rating: **1/2

For more of my thoughts on pro wrestling, subscribe to the 411 On Wrestling podcast and follow me on Twitter @wrestleblake. Thanks for reading!

6.5

The final score: review Average

The 411

AEW just went for 30 matches in two days. Insert "It's a bold strategy Cotton, let's see if it pays off for 'em" GIF here. But in all seriousness, I don't anticipate that being the norm. AEW has one weekly television show, two YouTube shows, and a gazillion people that it wants to showcase, whether that be signed or unsigned talent. The company isn't doing any live events yet, so you have the luxury of having everyone in one location. Why not let wrestlers, who wrestle for a living, wrestle? That allows you to find talent like Hirsch, Bear Country, and others that could be future stars. AEW isn't gonna be doing 15 matches per show once it's back on the road, so I'm fine with it. Doing that many matches on back-to-back nights every single week will become a challenge for even the most hardcore fans, but I can't see that being the long-term strategy. This is still a unique period for pro wrestling, and I've got no problem with AEW letting folks get some work in on an on-demand show that can be watched at your convenience. As for this edition of AEW Dark, there were lots of short matches, but also some good storyline development in teasing friction with Team Taz and a potential Janela heel turn. Excited for the future match between between -1 and Baron Black, which should be a classic.