News From Cook’s Corner 09.08.10

Hi, hello and welcome to News From Cook’s Corner! I’m Steve Cook, and I’m still giggling at Jeff Small saying that he spends way too much time on his fantasy football team. I’m a guy that has three and a half fantasy football teams and spent way too many hours last weekend drafting for them. I could do my preparation during the drafts because they took so long. Dustin James is a good guy, but I doubt I’ll be entering one of his fantasy football leagues again. 2 quarterbacks? Defensive positions? I can’t believe I survived with my sanity somewhat intact.

I have a feeling that won’t be lasting much longer…

A lot has changed since the last time I wrote this column. As you’ve probably noticed, I’ve increased my responsibilities here at the 411. I now post newsbites all over the website during the prime time hours & weekends, and scratch Larry Csonka’s back whenever he needs it. Which is pretty often. It’s a great opportunity for me (well, except the back scratching part), and I’m happy that the bosses haven’t already fired me despite screwing up at least once a newsbite. I hope to do one without messing up one of these days.

I’ve noticed a few things since starting my new gig. There is quite the difference between the things I care about and the things that get hits & comments from the readers. Let’s go with an example in wrestling…Linda McMahon’s Senate run. I stopped caring about this a long time ago. So what if another doofus wants to buy themselves a Senate seat? We’ve got plenty of idiots in Washington, so what’s the big deal if some people send another? If she was representing my interests, I might care, but that’s Connecticut’s problem. If they want her, more power to them. It doesn’t affect me, so I don’t care. But every time 411 posts something on this, you all start commenting on it like no tomorrow. I don’t understand it. I mean, it’s good that 411 gets hits and I’m glad you guys are into it, but it just doesn’t make any sense to me.

This is why I don’t expect it to be long before they fire me. I just hope that they let me keep this column when they have enough of me from a news-posting perspective. I do like talking about pro wrestling with you folks and it’d be a shame if I couldn’t do it anymore because I missed a news item on some Hollywood chick walking down the street.

Let’s talk some wrestling!

Yeah, I screwed up last week and put the picture of the wrong really tall woman in the column. I was pretty embarrassed about that…like I said in my edit, now I know how Johnny Ace felt when he signed the wrong one-legged wrestler several years ago. Luckily my mistake didn’t cost as much money as his did.

I obviously don’t know much about the woman that will be sharpening her skills in FCW for the foreseeable future, but luckily for us we have former 411Mania.com writer (feels weird to type that) and all-around good dude Michael Melchor to tackle this subject. Take it away, Michael!

toldja this was coming…

I’ve been following the career of Isis The Amazon – now known as Aloisia – for about a year and a half now. We’d even exchanged short conversations on Twitter & Facebook once or twice because she doesn’t live too far away. (No, there’s really no more to it than that.) She even had her own website (which has since been taken down and replaced) that made it dirt simple to keep up with her happenings. And so I did, because the idea of a 6′ 9″ woman getting in the ring and kicking ass was a mind-blower, for sure. I really wanted to see where she would go with this.

Imagine I’m watching the last 20 minutes of the NXT Season 2 finale and Vickie Guerrero shows her face as a pro to introduce her Rookie. While trying to get over the gall of the thought of Vickie (of ALL people) being considered a “Pro”, I see Aloisia. I damn near fell off my couch when I realized that WWE had signed Isis!

NXT Season 3 just got a lot more interesting – or did it? Word came out a couple days later that she was fired. Although it looks now that it was simply a way to take her off of TV because she’s “too green”.

From a safety standpoint, I can see her needing a little more seasoning. I don’t think she needs that much (she’s been at this for a while), but if the powers that be feel there’s a risk to their other performers, then by all means they should work to reduce that. A little more training never hurt anybody.

At the same time, I can’t help but wonder…if the Developmental System had been around 30 years ago, do you really think they would have sent Andre The Giant down to improve his ring work? Andre was a HUGE guy…and became one of the biggest stars in the business because of that. He didn’t have to do step-over toeholds and Magistral Creadles. Kick, punch, it’s all in the mind. If you were to test him, I’m sure you’d find. All he needed was his size to get over.

Think comparing Aloisia to Andre sounds a little lofty? I Don’t. When was the last time you saw a woman that big (and attractive!) in a WWE ring? Right. The last one they focused on in such a manner was Chyna, who was simply built to look like she could kick some ass. She wasn’t nearly the size of Aloisia – and no one else has been.

It almost seems a waste of time (though an understandable one) to keep her off of TV any longer. Every wrestling fan clamors for something new…something original…something different in their product. Something to capture their imaginations and make them tune in because they still can’t believe what they’re seeing.

I have to say…we just found that something different and original. She stands about 6′ 9″ and, fortune willing, she should be on TV (MUCH) sooner than later. Her name is Aloisia. She’s the second coming of Andre The Giant. She’s going to be that big of a star because, if anyone in WWE has any sense (and they didn’t get to be the biggest wrestling company on the planet by being fools), they’re going to make her that big of a star. Aloisia’s potential is unbound; to say the sky’s the limit is putting chains on how high and far she could go with a WWE contract.quote>

Thanks, Michael! Don’t be a stranger…as I’ve said before, the floor is yours whenever you need it. On Tuesday some rumors started floating around that Aloisia had been cut from NXT because of some racy pictures she had done in the past. It’s not something that would really matter to me (who hasn’t done some racy pictures?), but WWE has been cracking down on that sort of thing lately. Aloisia says she doesn’t know why she was knocked off the show, but it seems we can narrow down the potential reasons to two.

To make up for my lack of knowledge on Aloisia last week, and to get ready for my NXT recap, I did some research on the other NXT Divas over the weekend and will report my findings later in the column. I know that not all of you are familiar with these lovely ladies, so I’ll analyze them and tell you who you should be rooting for. I realize it’s not a perfect situation because the first episode aired Tuesday night and who knows what the heck WWE came up with for it, but think of this as a scouting report based on their FCW work. Next week we’ll take a look at Kaitlyn, the diva that got added to the competition on Tuesday night.

And now, the fake news!

Some of the rumor sites are going crazy over the news that Triple H is having an office built in Titan Towers. Apparently the Game was promoted to an executive role within WWE and is now officially Vince McMahon’s creative advisor. People seem surprised/shook over this news. I don’t see the big deal.

I mean, he is married to Vince’s daughter and all. Is it really that much of a surprise that he’s climbing up the ladder? Will there be that much of a difference with an official title? I’d be surprised if he wasn’t one of the top voices in the creative direction of WWE for quite awhile now. I don’t see the big deal here.

Even though Chris Jericho was removed from the match on Raw, there will still be a Six-Pack Challenge match at Night of Champions. I have no idea who they would add that would make sense, so expect it to be Triple H.

See what I did there?

Jim Neidhart is still in jail after being arrested on Sunday for burglary, drug possession and generally creating a scene. Here’s my report from Sunday:

Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart, father of WWE Diva Natalya & formerly one-half of the Hart Foundation, was arrested on Sunday morning after causing a commotion at a gas station parking lot in Thonotosassa, Florida. He was apparently loud and unruly while pumping gas & trying to open a pill bottle. When the police arrived, Neidhart argued with them, leading to them patting him down and finding twenty-eight methodone tablets and ninety-five oxycotin pills on him. It turns out that several pill bottles that Neidhart had with him were reported as stolen by his neighbors. The Fox affiliate in Tampa is reporting that some of the burglary victims knew Neidhart, but did not give him permission to take their medicine.

Neidhart was charged with two counts of possession of a controlled substance, two counts of trafficking in a controlled substance, one count of burglary of an occupied dwelling and one count of grand theft.

Sounds like a pretty typical weekend at the Cook house to me. Hopefully Anvil’s problems won’t have a negative effect on Natalya’s push with WWE. Well, I guess she would have to have a push in order for it to be affected.

Believe it or not, Alicia Fox does not have more followers on Twitter than Melina & LayCool combined. I know, a heel wrestler lying about something? Who would have ever thought? It’s ok though, she’s still undefined.

Jerry Lawler’s Memphis Wrestling promotion will be closing down after this week. It turns out that Lawler’s partner in this venture was the same guy he was partnering with in the deli that Lawler pulled out of. Yeah, I can see how one thing could lead to another here. After they split, Joe Cooper felt no need to pursue further sponsorship for the TV show, and Lawler told the wrestlers they were probably done after the last taping. I’m sure somebody will revive wrestling in Memphis, and Jerry Lawler will be on the show. Why wouldn’t it happen?

Rumor has it that one of the reasons that WWE is having the all-Diva NXT season is due to behavioral concerns with the current Divas. Apparently Tiffany & Serena weren’t the only ones getting in trouble in Los Angeles. WWE has been cracking down on the behavior of their talent lately, and it does make some sense. These women represent WWE wherever they go and whatever they do, so naturally WWE doesn’t want to see them out in public making fools of themselves. I’m all for having a good time, but embarrassing yourself and your employer shouldn’t be on the agenda.

Unless you’re trying to pull a George Costanza and get fired. In that case, full speed ahead!

Hulk Hogan was hospitalized this week with a muscle tear in his back. He’s been posting videos on Twitter, so you can keep up with him via that or Facebook. I’m a Facebook kinda guy and I actually have Hogan on there. He gets a lot of comments, but not as much as Chad Ochocinco. Now there’s somebody that gets a lot of comments.

Hogan told our old friend Bubba the Love Sponge that he hurt his back when he was picking up seashells on the beach while drinking some wine. That’s living the life…well, except for the whole bad back thing. He won’t be on any of the episodes of Impact being taped this week because he’s still in the hospital. It’s not like he does a whole lot on Impact anyway, but I felt it was important to point this out.

TNA wrestlers will be appearing on Family Feud the week of November 1-5. The teams have been reported as Jay Lethal, Mick Foley, Matt Morgan, Mr. Anderson, and RVD will take on Velvet Sky, Lacey Von Erich, Angelina Love, Tara, and Christy Hemme. I wonder if this counts as an appearance for Foley & RVD in their TNA contracts.

Jeff Hardy is expected back in court on Thursday. In case you’ve forgotten what he’s been charged with, here’s a handy list:

* Felony possession of cocaine.
* Felony drug trafficking of opium
* Felony possession with intent to redistribute a Schedule III drug (two counts).
* Maintaining a dwelling for drug use and/or distribution.
* Possession of drug paraphernalia. (misdemeanor)

The trial should be done by 2029 if it keeps moving at the rate it’s been moving.

Kurt Angle was injured during his match with Jeff Hardy at No Surrender. He only dislocated a rib, so he’ll be good to go. This is a guy who tore his quad and was fine later that day. Don’t worry about him.

Luna Vachon turned down an offer to appear at Hardcore Justice. Mick Foley wanted to have her in Tommy Dreamer’s corner for his match with Raven, since Tommy & Luna had worked together in 1995. Luna turned down the offer, saying she was retired. It probably would have been awkward to have Luna at ringside with Tommy, with his family sitting at ringside.

Advantage: Giants

New Jersey will be the site of tryouts for both WWE & TNA in the coming months. TNA is holding a “Gut Check” workshop on September 25 in Rahway, while WWE is holding a tryout in association with the Matt Borne Professional Wrestling Academy in Freehold on October 22. So if you don’t make it with TNA, you can settle for WWE. It could be worse, right?

Ah, WWP. You’re not even an official wrestling promotion yet but your drama intrigues me. Mister Saint Laurent stepped down from his position as “Head of Talent Relations” on Monday, citing breach of contract. His press release deserves to be re-printed here, because it makes me giggle:

Mister Saint Laurent, who had been working as head of talent relations for Worldwide Wrestling Promotions, has quit the organization due to breach of contract and is currently training for a return to the ring. The former ROH commentator and AWA World Tag Team Champion, who created the popular Scott Hall TV channel on youtube, is actually the great grandson of former Canadian Prime Minister Louis St. Laurent and is hopeful of making his Canadian debut sometime next year. Promoters interested in booking Mister Saint Laurent can email [email protected] to contact him directly.

Where to start. How about citing the creation of Scott Hall’s YouTube channel as an accomplishment? Or thinking he’ll get booked in Canada because he was related to a former PM? All kidding aside, I actually liked Saint Laurent’s work on a random Florida indy show I watched from a couple years ago. He’s a pretty funny fat guy worker that cuts a good annoying promo. You can never have enough of those guys in wrestling.

Speaking of funny fat guy workers that cut good annoying promos, Sean Davis released a statment wishing Mister the best in his future endeavors (damn it WWE, now you’ve got me doing it) and pointing out that there was a line in his contract that refuted Mister’s claims of breach of contract. He also said that WWP promises to “do the things the right way from this point on and learn from the mistakes we have made and will not start operations until we are 100% ready and capable of presenting a product that is worthy of all of the attention that this has been given.”

Maybe Sean Davis & MSL should cut out this WWP nonsense and form a fun fat guy tag team on the indies. It’d be much less of a headache, that’s for sure.

The Balls Mahoney/Axl Rotten split sure lasted a long time. They’ll be teaming at a JAPW show on October 23. Maybe whoever transcribed Balls’ interview a little while back forgot to add “and JAPW” to Balls’ statement that he wouldn’t team with Axl unless it was for WWE or TNA.

Lucha Libre USA will be running a show at the Whataburger Field in Corpus Christi, Texas tomorrow. Here’s the announced card:

* Mascarita Dorada and Octagoncito vs. Pequeño Halloween and El Torerito
* Magno vs. Super Nova
* Charly Malice vs. El Oriental
* Mini Park and Azteko vs. Chi Chi and Rosetta Park
* Marco Corleone vs. Lizmark Jr.
* RJ Brewer vs. Blue Demon Jr.

God, I hope Pequeño Halloween gets his ass kicked. He has it coming to him. I’m pretty sure Blue Demon Jr. is a local deal and he won’t be part of the next LLUSA season, but you never know with these crazy luchadors. I do know that he probably won’t be losing to RJ Brewer.

It’s a pretty busy weekend in the Northeast. Rahway, New Jersey will be hosting a Wrestling Reunion & an EVOLVE show on Saturday, while Ring of Honor will be holding Glory by Honor IX in New York City. ROH’s show is sold out and features Tyler Black defending the ROH title against Roderick Strong. I’d say Strong’s a sure bet to go over, except he’s like 0-46 in ROH title matches.

Ohio Valley Wrestling will be starting a new season of television tonight, with Jim Cornette expected to return to the promotion in an on-air role. I have a feeling that our good friend Kenny Bolin won’t be pleased with this news, and will do whatever he can to make Jim’s life inconvenient. It’s what he does.

Mr. Wrestling II was released from the hospital this week after finally having heart surgery. He’s expected to make a full recovery and head back to Hawaii, where he lives. Well, of course he does. What are housing costs like there? I should look into this.

Billy Gunn had an affair. No, I don’t care either.

Season 3 of NXT began airing last night. Unlike many people on the Internet, I like the concept of a Diva-exclusive NXT season. I’ve always been a fan of young talent in pro wrestling, and that includes the ladies that are working their way up the ranks and showing a lot of potential along the way. That potential doesn’t always get realized, but I enjoy watching the process and rooting for people to make it big in the wrestling business.

I spent part of Labor Day weekend scouring YouTube for matches featuring the members of the NXT Season 3 cast. I have to admit that I was pleasantly surprised with most of what I saw, but I also had to scratch my head at some of WWE’s decision making when I watched Serena in some FCW matches and realized she only wrestled once in eight months on Smackdown. Considering she was involved in the best matches I found, this boggled my mind.

Anyway, I’m pretty high on this group. They all have some sort of positive quality that makes me want to watch them. If Johnny Ace can do nothing else, he can certainly recruit beautiful women. There is a girl that I think should win this thing hands down purely based on in-ring ability and likeability, but I wouldn’t really be that disappointed if any of them won. I’d be cool if this Diva Nexus wiped out the current Diva division.

Big ups to YouTube and their users for uploading this FCW stuff. Outstanding work, peeps!

NR. Jamie Keyes

I only found one match of Jamie’s online, and didn’t feel it was fair to judge her in-ring ability based on a minute in the ring with Savannah. What I can tell you about Miss Keyes is that she has experience on NXT as the ring announcer for Season 2, and was discovered by WWE brass when they were looking through Wrestlicious photos. If we were just basing this thing on looks she’d do pretty well, but I don’t know enough about her in-ring ability or her personality to rank her.

This is the one match of hers I’ve seen, against Savannah on May 23, 2010. Not much to judge on, but she is looking good:

4. Aksana

I like Aksana’s personality. She has a cute Lithuanian accent and should be pretty entertaining in her segments with Goldust. I think she needs more time to develop her wrestling and that’s why she’s at this spot on the list. Aksana has experience in bodybuilding and managed Eli Cottonwood in FCW until settling into her role as host of The Aksana Show. FCW sure does like their talk shows with lots of laughter.

Here’s an episode of The Aksana Show, featuring Alex Riley:

3. Maxine

There weren’t too many Maxine matches on YouTube, but I thought she was pretty good in what I did see. I don’t know why they changed her name from Liviana, her FCW name. Liviana rolls off the tongue a lot better.

Maxine teamed with Naomi to take on AJ Lee & Eve Torres on the February 7, 2010 episode of FCW. She wasn’t the star of the match, but she did have an impressive outing:

2. Naomi

Naomi hasn’t been wrestling for very long, but she seems to be picking it up pretty quickly. Since she’s a former dancer for the Orlando Magic, you can bet that she & Layla (a former Miami Heat dancer) will be talking some trash backstage. She gets compared to Alicia Fox pretty often by Dusty Rhodes, so maybe we’ll get to compare them in the ring on NXT.

Naomi defeated Serena to win the FCW Divas Championship on June 20, 2010. Considering she had been wrestling for about eight months at this point, this is a really good showing:

1. AJ

The Pocket Rocket, as Wade Barrett calls her, has all the tools to win this competition. AJ Lee is the best wrestler by a pretty wide margin (more experience in the ring helps), has a pleasant personality and is cute as a button. She’s also got that indy credibility, so let’s hope Michael Cole doesn’t find out about that. We here at the Corner are all for girls that say they’re representing all the nerds out there. We’re also partial towards petite girls from the Northeast, but that’s another story.

AJ had a match with Serena back on February 4, 2010 where she won the Queen of FCW crown. This match showcases her resilience and flexibility, two important parts of being a Diva:

Here’s a match between #1 & #2, from March 7, 2010. AJ & Naomi have faced off several times in FCW and seem to have pretty good chemistry:

So there you have it…everything you need to know about the NXT Season 3 Divas! Hopefully this will inform you on the competitors more than the Season Premiere did, where we learned that Naomi is really athletic and announcers aren’t the best of dancers.

This project also made me realize how much they screwed the pooch with their usage of Serena on Smackdown. Only one tag team match in eight months? Really?

The Rs had people still upset that I like Maryse. Really? I thought that was old news by now.

Hubbard talks about mid-carders. As a mid-carder in life, I appreciate these fine people.

The Triple Threat & the High Road/Low Road guys talk about Alberto Del Rio. He’s becoming a pretty big deal.

Ari talked about Raw. I guess it was a slow ROH week, but business should be picking up this week.

Well, that’s all we have time for this week! The honorable JP Prag will be in tomorrow, and I’ll be back next week with more News From Cook’s Corner. Until then…