Raw Retrospective: Monday Night Raw 07.05.93

WWF RAW Episode Twenty Four
July 5, 1993
Live from Poughkeepsie, New York
Hosts: Randy Savage, Vince McMahon, and Bobby Heenan

We cut to the USS Intrepid from the day prior when everyone was trying to body slam Yokozuna. Whoever’s singing the Star Spangled Banner is fucking awful. The winner got a pickup truck and, more importantly, wins America. Lee Rouson of the New York Giants tries his best but doesn’t understand how a bodyslam works. Bob Backlund tries once and gives up. Peter Taglianetti from the Penguins understands the physics of a bodyslam, but still fails America. Scott Burrell turns heel on American and walks away. Scott Steiner cheapshots Yoko but still can’t slam him. Way to be a dick, Scott. Yoko took a break to eat a bowl of rice. Tatanka chops Yoko a bunch but still can’t slam him. I don’t think chopping a guy in the head will make him any easier to slam when he’s 500 pounds. A professional bowler comes the closest thus far, until Crush manages to get the big guy off his feet before ultimately failing. Savage, decked out in America, fails miserably. Well, there it is – Yokozuna defeated America by being fat. Although in 2010 Yoko wouldn’t have stand a chance against our fatasses. But, wait, WHAT’S THIS!? A god-damn HELICOPTER comes down and out comes – Lex Luger? Wasn’t he heel? Oh, he’s wearing America too, so now he’s my favorite wrestler. There’s a group of chubby kids following behind Luger in one scene but then disappear in the next scene. There’s actually a decent “LEX” chant as he steps into the ring, but he shuts people up by saying Yokozuna is a rash on Luger. Sounds like a serious rash. Lex yells at Fuji and gets spat on, which, according to Vince, is the same as spitting on America. Hmmm. Yoko gets hit with the steel forearm and bodyslammed to the delight of the crowd. AMERICA WINS! AMERICA SLAMMED A FAT GUY! WHOOO! Vince puts Luger over like he’s the second coming of Christ, which turned out to be false. This whole angle was pretty silly, but it worked at the time and managed to get Luger over as a face quickly. Looking back, however, I’m not sure why.

Blake Beverly Vs 123 Kid
Kid looks really uncomfortable playing the ultra babyface role, though he’d get better at it eventually. The crowd chants “123” and this really pisses off Blake, who slaps Kid down. Kid is all, “Nuh uh!” so he dropkicks him out of the ring and follows up with a baseball slide. Blake rushes in the ring and goes to flapjack him but gets dropkicked. Crazy air on that. Blake goes down with an enzuigiri for two, and Blake slows things down with a bodyslam. Kid gets suplexed in the corner, which is pretty crazy for a 1993 Raw match. Blake slaps the Kid outside the ring while yelling at the audience as the ref makes the slowest count in the history of counts. They go back inside but Blake military presses him to the outside anyways. In the ring, Blake bodyslams him in the corner and on the mat for two. The crowd tries to rally support for the Kid and it almost works until Blake ducks a crossbody attempt. Kid gets sent to the outside once more with a shoulder tackle that Blake jumped far too early on. Blake dives off the second rope to the outside but hits the ground! Kid climbs the top rope and hits a wild dive, much better than his last one. Blake regains control with a modified backdrop but misses a splash , which leads to a leg drop from the top for the three at 9:02. **1/2 Crazy stuff that you really didn’t see on RAW a lot, and the crowd freaked out accordingly. Never thought I’d enjoy a Blake Beverly singles match, but there you go.
Winner: 123 Kid

Bam Bam Bigelow (with Luna Vachon) Vs Joey Maggs
Bigelow pounds away, hits a shoulder tackle, and a couple avalanche splashes for the three at 0:40. DUD. Next.
Winner: Bam Bam Bigelow

The Undertaker Vs Samu (with Afa)
This is the Undertaker’s return since Mr. Hughes stole the urn, and is without Paul Bearer. They do a spotlight on Undertaker while completely blacking out the rest of the arena and it makes the Undertaker looks extremely tiny. Heenan hides under the table while the lights go off. I’d rather watch Heenan be ridiculous than this match, but what can you do? They stare down to begin with and Undertaker has the obvious height advantage. Chops do nothing to the deadman, nor does a pair of shoulderblocks. Taker tries to leapfrog but that doesn’t work, and the groan of the crowd is hilarious. Taker hits a drop toe hold and pulls the hair or something (poor camera angle) until Samu rolls out of the ring. So without the urn, Undertaker tries to leapfrog and uses wrestling holds? To make things even wackier, the Undertaker hits a decent looking dropkick. Taker goes to school and follows up with a clothesline. Taker flies to the outside on a failed jumping clothesline and gets taken out on the outside thanks to a distraction by Afa as we cut to break. Back from commercials sees Samu dismantling the Undertaker on the outside. Savage tells us that what happened during the commercial was horrible as Undertaker does the zombie sit up after everything Samu has (which is apparently two body slams and a clothesline). Samu hits a sidewalk slam and a headbutt and Undertaker zombie…wait, he can’t get up! Samu climbs the top rope and hits the headbutt! Samu slaps the Undertaker (big mistake) and goes for another diving headbutt (bigger mistake) and misses, gets chokeslammed, and nailed with the tombstone for three at 7:23. *1/4 Wasn’t a total squash, but I doubt anyone expected a different outcome.
Winner: The Undertaker

World Wrestling Federation Champion Yokozuna and Mr. Fuji come out to denounce Luger’s body slam, saying it was only a hiptoss. Fuji also brings up that Luger was uninvited, used a steel plate, and has stupid hair. Ok, I made up the last one, but, seriously, his hair has always been awful. I’m still under the impression that McMahon never has any idea as to what Fuji is saying. I also think it’s adorable when Fuji says, “My Yokozuna!” I want a Yokozuna of my own! Crush comes out, fresh after smoking a lot of marijuana, and puts over Luger for humiliating them. Crush accepts the open contract challenge and wants a title match against Yokozuna – and its official for next week. Fuji and Yoko laugh off Savage, Hart, and Hogan, but they’re worried about Crush? Yokozuna looks scared shitless when Crush talks, and then when Crush says some mean stuff Yoko looks like he’s going to cry. This segment was more humorous than anything.

Mr. Perfect Vs Brian Costello 0:56
I can’t imagine this match lasting long since we only have a couple of minutes left in the show. Perfect shoulder tackles Costello down, hits a dropkick, lands some chops, and hits the Perfectplex at 0:56. DUD. What a great main event to this week’s Raw.
Winner: Mr. Perfect

Next week we’ll see Yokozuna defending his WWF Championship against Crush. They replay the clip of Luger slamming Yokozuna as the show ends.

The 411: Beverly Vs Kid was surprisingly good and really different from everything else WWF was putting out at the time, and outside of the bodyslam outside of the world there's not much else worth going out of your way for.
Final Score:  6.5   [ Average ]