SD! Highlight Reel 01.13.06

The SD! Highlight Reel
January 13, 2005 A.D.
Taped from: Philadelphia, PA
Hosts: Michael Cole, Tazz & Friends

Michael Cole breaks the monotonous existence of our trivial lives proclaiming “History will be made tonight! We will have a new United States Champion!”

Also, The Bogeyman goes down to the Pit … … of Rowdy Roddy Piper!

But now … Dave Batista! And he’s flanked by General Manager Theodore R. Long? Cole notes that Batista suffered “an injury” this past weekend, giving no indication of the severity thereof, though Tazz remarks that the Champ looks pretty good to him. Dave is sporting an ivory suit over a beige polo shirt with the top unbuttoned. He gets on the mic, explaining that he was injured this past Sunday and can no longer continue as Champion of the World. Despite having worked through previous injuries, this one is simply of too severe a nature to facilitate such an ethic.

Dave thanks the crowd for their support during his reign, but announces his grim regrets in “doing the right thing” — placing the World Championship into the defaulted hands of GM Long. Despite this evening’s duties, Dave promises to once again regain the Championship and come back, healthy, to face whomever the unlucky Title holder may be.

Backstage Batista shakes hands with numerous individuals, including Road Warrior Animal, Referee Jimmy Corderis, Bobby Lashley, Rey Mysterio, Jr., and Double A Arn Anderson, among others. Dave believes the belt would look extra appropriate lying around Mysterio’s waist.

Meanwhile Teddy Long is still standing in the ring, commenting that the legacy of the World Title will live on tonight … because in the MAIN EVENT this evening, we’ll have an over-the-top-rope Battle Royale, with the winner laying claim to the Title! But next … we crown a Champion of a different sort, he of the United States, as Benoit takes on Booker T’s chosen hand, Randy Orton.

Backstage Randy Orton, replete with fleece pullover, accosts Long, informing him that he will become a two-time World Champion … so if Teddy can postpone this U.S. Title thing …. but Teddy’s having none of it! Randy’s on right now!

Match #1: Seventh Contest in a Series of Seven to Determine the Heavyweight Champion of the United States: Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton (acting in Booker T’s stead)

“It feels like a big fight feel here tonight” — Michael Cole

Referee Nick Patrick holds the Title aloft centre-ring, and this one’s begun. Both men circle one another to start, reaching with their arms, slapping away one another’s advance, simply attempting to gain any modicum of advantage. None is forthcoming, however, so the two spar off in a collar-and-elbow tie up, with Benoit eventually forcing Orton into the NW corner, though the pair break the hold with no one yet having achieved an advantage. The men go back to the collar and elbow, with Benoit grabbing a reverse bear hug, though Orton twists the hold around into a front facelock, though Benoit counters straightway into a hammerlock that grounds the young Orton. Randy attempts to leverage his way over his face, though he merely falls flat on his stomach .. oh Randy succeeds in rolling through on the second attempt, cinching in another front facelock on Benoit. Chris works his way to the ropes, where Orton is forced to break — no, Randy attempts to suplex Benoit back into the ring via the apron, though Benoit simply drops down and stun guns Randy across the top!

Benoit now dives down to the floor, where he spies Booker T …. And fakes a knee injury, inciting Patrick’s wrath against Book! The T family gets ejected as Chris flashes a smile and points at his noggin! Sharmell pitches a hissy fit, but it’s for naught, as she and her man have no recourse but to recuse themselves from tonight’s proceedings.

Back inside Orton goes to a hammerlock, though Benoit quickly reverses, thrusting Orton into the ropes; having recovered, Randy re-engages Chris in a collar and elbow tie up, until both men eventually fall to the canvas in some mixed martial art like – mount and guard offensive and defensive position, respectively, with Benoit grabbing a side arm bar, though Orton reverses position into a rear naked choke, that Benoit eventually turns back into the arm bar .. though this is short lived, yet again, as both men make their way to their feet, with Benoit firing off rapid chops the way of Orton’s chest … oh, Randy ole’s and sends Benoit flying shoulder-first into the NW post and out of the ring entirely! Randy now hauls Benoit back inside, where he grabs a grounded side headlock. Both men make their way to their feet, with Benoit pushing his way out of the hold, only to be shoulder blocked back down to the canvas. Orton off the ropes, hip toss … no! Benoit grabs Randy via his left arm! Can the Cross-face be far behind? yes! Indeed it may be, as Orton wiggles himself free, diving down to the floor.

Benoit’s had enough of this waiting around business, though, as he pulls Orton up to the apron by the hair on his head, and suplexes Orton back inside the ring for a two count. Orton now finds himself kneeling prone on the top of his skull, with Benoit having once again captured his left arm. Benoit decides to sit Orton atop the SE turnbuckle, though, where he lays into the youngster with 3-4 chops until he follows him up. Superple …. No! Orton punches Benoit’s gut ….. no! Benoit responds with headbutts … sending Orton falling all the way down to the guardrail! Randy’s nearly out cold!

Back inside, Randy lies prone on the canvas, as Benoit circles mercilessly … Sharpsho … no! Randy won’t allow his legs to become overtwined! Boots to Benoit’s face force him to back off; Orton, now, dropping three consecutive knees across Chris’ right shoulder – Benoit comes back from a seated position, though, sending measured chops toward Randy’s chest .. Orton replies with rapid fire punching to Chris’ head! Lateral press cover by Orton! 1 ….. 2 ……….. 2.21! Orton now jumps all over Benoit’s back, capturing a rear naked choke for the second occasion; Benoit regains his footing …. Hip toss to Orton! Benoit runs the ropes ….. HUGE Dropkick by Orton! 1 ……….2 …………….. 2.56! Orton now returns to a rear headlock, immobilizing Benoit on top his knees; Benoit regains his vertical base .. the pair exchange right hands and right chops, Benoit twice knocking Orton to the mat ….. Fisherman suplex by Benoit! Benoit now backs Orton into the SE and NE corners, regaling him with a series of brutal chops to the chest …. Orton escapes, falling to the canvas …… Benoit follows him ……… SHARPSHOOTER!! Randy cries in agony, can he get out? Orton … on …. His ….. way …… to …… the ……. ROPES! Yes! Benoit fires back with …. GERMAN! And another! A third! THROAT SLASH …… HEAD BU ….. whiff@! Orton rolls away, now clutching Benoit by his skull ….. no, Benoit escapes and attempts another Sharpshooter …. Orton breaks free, knocking Patrick silly in the process! RK ….. no, Orlando Jordan runs in, though Orton knocks him out on the floor ……… R K ………..CROSS FACE!@! But here comes Booker T with a crutch! Benoit breaks the hold to send Book flying out over the ropes … back inside ……. Randy’s revived ………. R K …… no! CROSS X FACE !! Randy taps, though Nick’s still incapacitated …. Benoit now revives the poor chap, but before he fully comes to, Booker T slaps Benoit silly with the Title Belt ….. Orton leans over for the pin ……… 1 ………. 2 …………………………… 3!!#! Booker’s the Champ! Booker T is United States Champion!

Cole gets all righteously indignant about how Book won the Title.

Backstage Piper runs into Miss Jillian Hall, and is aghast at — but JBL interrupts before he can say a thing, angling his way onto Piper’s Pit tonight. Piper doesn’t bite, instead acting all foolish in mockery of Layfield. He now asks that John B. make his way to the Pit after all, though he reserves some disparaging verbage for Hall.

Piper strides out to the ring, noting that Philadelphia was the site of the very first Piper’s Pit to ever air some twenty two years ago. Roddy introduces that we are to see someone who’s never made it down to the Pit before …

And the Bells of Wall Street ring out over the Wachovia Centre!

Piper’s quite dismayed, patronizingly addressing Layfield, informing him that it’s a “neat trick” to actually allow the host to say his guest’s name.

Layfield quickly wrestles control of the arena’s sound waves, though, noting that while he suffered myriad and sundry maladous injuries during his reign as World Champion — but never once took a day off, never once brought a sick note from mommy to the arena. But that’s just what Dave Batista did this evening. But JBL is grateful for Big Dave’s regretful recourse of actions, given that they have allowed for the greatest Title reign ever – Part II. Piper attempts to get in a quick question here, though Layfield cuts him off, citing that he’s “on a roll, baby!” Right here tonight, the SD! universe returns to normalcy; the end is nary in doubt, Miss Hall has already planned the victory parade of …. A Wrestling god.

Piper now finally opens his mouth, questioning what monstrosity with lungs and more hair than George the Animal Steele has taken up residence upon Miss Hall’s face. Layfield goes wild over Hot Rod’s comments, though Roddy occasions to now introduce his true guest this evening …. The Bogeyman!

Bogey shakes and pizazzes his way down the ramp, eventually hitting the ring. Layfield ducks to the floor, while providing Jillian a little extra momentum in the direction of Bogey. He takes a perverse sort of liking to the lass, licking her “mole” and eventually biting the entire synthetic structure off her cheek! Having consumed the device, he now dances over to Piper, who occupies himself with prayers, until Bogey vacates the premises.

Backstage Melina and her boys chat with Mark Henry, congratulating him on “taking out Batista.” What’s more, all three of these gents are competitors in tonight’s big Battle Royale … the odds clearly resting in their favour.

Finlay … debuting next week ….

Match #2: 20 Man Over-the-Top Battle Royale Elimination Contest to Determine the Heavyweight Champion of the World

Lashley, Hardy, M.N.M., Henry, Mysterio and …… Kurt Angle [??] get TV entrances.

Layfield tells all the other guys to part ways, because he is taking on Angle … but merely receives a German for his trouble, and is immediately eliminated! Angle eliminates Big Vito next! Now everyone goes screaming after Angle, tossing him …. To the apron! Daivari is quite pleased with this development, as the SD! folks seem to have cooled on Angle, now pairing off with one another. Angle nearly pushes Mysterio over, though he moves on to Hardy soon after, working his thigh up over the SW turnbuckle … Mysterio with a headscissors on Jordan on the rope …. No, Jordan rolls through the bottom rope .. Hardy gets Angle against the ropes now, as we cut to centre ring where Animal challenges Mark Henry … and loses, the victim of a steep clothesline, going careening over the top to the floor.

Jordan now occasions to take on Angle, giving him a couple of rights, though Regal and Burchill eliminate Simon Dean, double teaming him over the top. Henry tosses Hardy … no, he hangs on to the bottom rope, steadying himself! Meanwhile, M.N.M. look to Snapshot Nunzio …. But simply toss him over the top, making it easy on themselves … ohh, German from Angle to Jordan … and Angle throws him over the ropes! Jordan’s gone! Now Angle looks to Regal .. he’s gone! Angle BELLY TO BELLY eliminates Burchill!! Henry now goes after Angle, both going to the outside, ducking underneath the bottom rope …. Henry takes the protective to off the announce table, though Angle slashes his throat with Eurocuts …. GERMA … no, Angle can’t lift him! Henry reverses, military presses Angle …. and DOWN thru the table!

Meanwhile, Nitro nearly eliminates Rey, though he hangs on and M.N.M. begins to double team him. Henry back inside the ring now, as he and Lashley face off, and begin running into one another, the two behemoths each proving to be immovable objects. Henry now sets Lashley onto the apron …. and boots him straight in the grille! Lashley falls to the floor, eliminated! Henry tosses Kendrick !

Seven men remain now, M.N.M., Hardy, Henry, Angle, Mysterio, and Grenier … Hardy tosses Grenier … no, he stays on the apron … TWIST OF FATE and Grenier’s gone … TWIST OF FATE TO Henr … no, Henry tosses him! Mysterio with a Headscissors to Nitro, eliminating him! HURRICANRANA to Mercury and he’s gone too! Two men are left standing in the ring (Angle still remains possuming in the heaps of the announce table), and it’s the diminutive Mysterio facing off against the massive Henry. Rey dodges a bit, sending quick kicks to Henry’s left knee; Mysterio hitting a pair of swift front seated dropkicks, Henry sprawls down to the middle rope …. 619 …. Henry stands like silly puddy against the anterior rope …. 619 to his gut! !# Mysterio now jumps on Henry’s back … but Henry won’t fall! Instead, he pushes Rey floor-ward …. But Rey won’t go! Rey leaps back in … and right into Henry’s waiting arms! Henry tosses Rey to the floor!

Melina thinks it’s over, but the look on Kurt Angle’s face quickly sends her into shock, as Daivari spurs Angle forward. Angle jumps into the action with rapidly thrusting right hands …. Angle with a Shoulder Blo … NO! Henry sends Angle down like a ROCK!! Angle’s up though …. ANGLE SLAM!@!! Henry recovers, though, charging Kurt in the SE corner, throwing all his weight against Angle’s chest — Henry places Angle atop the SE turnbuckle, slaps his face once, and now simply tries to power house him out, though Kurt locks in a triangle choke while lying against the turnbuckle! Angle tries to leverage Henry over the top with his legs, though he’s forced to hold onto the post for dear life! POWER BOMB by Henry to the centre of the canvas!$!! Angle is nearly motionless, as Henry gropes his way from prone position to his feet …. But Angle is up and throwing punches! Henry simply bullies his way into Angle’s chest, forcing him against the ropes …. Angle jukes aside, runs the ropes and …. GERMAN@!! YES it connects! Kurt nabs himself a front facelock now .. no, Henry picks him up and places Angle on the apron, but Angle won’t release the hold …. Angle pulling Henry over the top via his neck …. No, Henry’s too strong, grabbing a bear hug .. Angle now forsakes the facelock for a headscissor, lying upside down over the top rope ….. using his thighs to pull Henry ever downward …. Henry gives way! Angle does too! ………

Henry’s feet touch first! Henry’s feet touch first! RAW’s own Kurt Angle is now Champion of the World — — but also of SmackDown!

Pyro explodes, confetti rains from the rafters, as Angle basks in the — yes, the adulative cheers — of the adoring crowd.