The ECW eXperience 7.17.07

by J.D. Dunn July 17, 2007 Live from Laredo, Texas. Your hosts are Joey Styles and Taz. Okay, so the teaser from the Rolling Stones, not the Doors, but it kinda fits. Literally *pairs* of reporters are awaiting a press conference from Johnny Nitro. A press agent comes out and tells us that Johnny Nitro will no longer grace ECW with his presence. Speaking of press conferences, how about that Georgia Medical Examiner’s press conference, huh? Hey, Georgia, wanna rotate those doctors more than once every time Haley’s Comet comes into our view? When I hear “Medical Examiner,” I picture Will Petersen, not Wilford Brimley with Tourette’s Syndrome. At one point, I expected him to blame Chris Benoit’s murder-suicide on “diabeetus” and start yelling “dirty bitch” uncontrollably. Oh, and MSNBC’s Dan Abrams has shown himself to be a little weasel, which is sad because he was a guy I used to like and respect. Not only that, but he missed a bit of a contradiction when interviewing (WWE lawyer) Jerry McDevitt and Dr. Black (the guy who runs the WWE testing). McDevitt claimed that Benoit must have taken testosterone injections sometime between his test and the murders because it wasn’t present in his system, but then he said they knew he was taking the injections all along for testicular malfunction. I don’t know that it adds up to anything nefarious, but he is the WWE’s lawyer, and he should choose his words more carefully. And another thing…(tasteless joke ahead). A lot of people probably heard Benoit strangled his wife and son and said, “Man, that guy’s gotta lot of balls.” Turns out no. He didn’t. CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke. Gabfest to start. Punk works an armbar early, keeping it interesting by hitting roundhouse kicks to the shoulder. Burke does a great selljob, screaming to the ref, “He’s gonna break my arm!” Burke cheapshots him in the corner to take over and then slings them both to the outside. We come back to Punk trapped in a Boston Crab. Punk considers tapping before making the ropes. Burke stays on the back with a bodyslam, but Punk starts kicking his way back. A roundhouse kick gets two, but Burke drops Punk with a backdrop suplex. They trade two counts as Punk hits a DDT and then Burke hits a German Suplex. Punk suddenly hits the Go2Sleep out of nowhere and picks up the win at 14:34. Disappointing. I’m surprised they didn’t keep a challenger strong for Punk, but then that probably means that he’s not going over. ** Big Daddy V (w/Matt Striker) vs. Tim Storm. Tim Storm looks a little like Bill DeMott. Vee crushes him with an avalanche and finishes with the Bossman Slam at 0:59. I don’t see any money in Vee, but then there was no money in Viscera either, so why not just give him a second (or third) shot on the off chance that it will work. It does get Striker into more of a manager’s role, though, which may lead to better things down the line for him. 1/4* The Miz is embarrassed because every woman in the arena wants him. In fact, Extreme Exposé has a surprise for him…a lap dance. Kevin Thorn vs. Tommy Dreamer. Dreamer hits a hiptoss early, but Thorn snaps his shoulder down on the top rope. Back in, Thorn works the arm before charging right into a boot. Thorn sets him on top, but Dreamer comes off with a bodysplash. So *that’s* why he doesn’t fly that much. It gets two. Thorn comes back with a Divorce Court, but Tommy slips out of the Crucifix Bomb and clotheslines him. Thorn reverses the DDT and posts Dreamer’s shoulder and that…gets the pin? (5:06) I appreciate the psychology, but usually that should lead to one more devastating move rather than being a finisher in and of itself. Thorn hits Original Sin on Dreamer as an exclamation point. * The press guy says we will not see “Johnny Nitro” again because Johnny Nitro is no longer Johnny Nitro…he’s Mike Awesome doing his “70’s Guy” gimmick. His new name is “John Morrison.” Ah…because he looks like Jim Morrison now. I get it. Apparently, he learned to walk at 4 months old and skipped first grade. Well, it’s not much, but it gets him out from under the shadow of Melina. CM Punk interrupts the press conference, but Nitro refuses to touch him until the GAB. Then, he suckerpunches Punk. At least he’s still a good heel. The Extreme 411: The revamped Nitro was a good start toward getting him over as something more than a fluke. They need to give Punk more of a personality, though, because people are rooting for him by default more than anything else, and his persona is one of his biggest assets when used properly.