The Magnificent Seven: The Top 7 SummerSlam Non-Match Segments

Traditionally speaking, we wrestling fans tune in to PPVs for the wrestling. Talking is an essential part of the business to be sure, but by the time we’ve plunked down our money for a pay per view event, we’ve already been talked into the building and now we want to see someone get his butt kicked. While that dynamic has shifted with the advent of the more affordable, more utilitarian WWE Network, nonetheless, PPVs are like punctuation at the end of episodic TV’s sentences, and we expect the wrestling to come first on a big show.

There are, however, those times when a talking segment transcends expectations. Rather than feeling like filler or connective tissue, there are occasions when promos or other non-wrestling bits are as entertaining, engaging, and important as what happens in the ring.

With less than a month to go before SummerSlam, I’ll be dedicating this and my next few columns to SummerSlam history. This week, I’m ranking the best non-match segments in the twenty-nine-year history of the show.

WWF SummerSlam 1989 – Jim Duggan & Demolition… by notrobvandam

#7. Jim Duggan Has Too Many Gimmicks (1989)

This is probably the silliest pick on the list, in part because it was more of a preview to a match than a segment unto itself, and in part because it’s comedic and comedically great largely in spite itself when I don’t know that anyone actually meant for it to be funny. Demolition was geared up for for a six-man tag match opposite the formidable trio of Andre The Giant, Akeem, and The Big Boss Man. Their partner? Not that you’d recognize him by looking, but it was Jim Duggan.

It was Jim Duggan, carrying his signature two-by-four, which was fair enough. He also had an American flag as he was making his way into a full-gledge patriot gimmick to boot. A little excessive, but that’s fine. But then he also had the crown and robe of the king of the ring after defeating Haku to take the throne. Now his accoutrements were just getting excessive. But no, that wasn’t enough. He also donned a Demolition mask to express his team unity.

Four gimmicks is a lot for a guy to play over a period of years—but to carry them all in the same promo? Duggan had to have broken some kind of record and it’s a classic moment for hardcore fans from the era.

Summerslam2007 Beer Drinking Contest Stone Cold… by raja-ak47
#6. Matt Hardy And Steve Austin Get the Better of MVP (2007)

2007 to 2008 saw Matt Hardy and MVP engage in a lengthy feud over the United States Championship, that included a run as wacky tag team partners who didn’t get along, and that included a lot of extracurricular competitions. In the build to wrestling, the two competed in arm wrestling, football skills, and pizza eating. The rivalry also included a boxing match that MVP ducked out of, substituting Evander Holyfiled in his place. Then, at SummerSlam, the two had a beer drinking contest. Hardy responded in kind by calling in his one ringer substitute—one Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Yes, the concept is totally silly and the outcome of Austin Stunning Porter was totally predictable. A segment like this isn’t for everyone, but I actually feel it ages well for the combination of MVP’s charisma, Hardy’s likeability, and the enjoyability of seeing Austin come back at a big show to lay out a heel.

#5. The Undertaker Challenges CM Punk (2009)

SummerSlam 2009 features a truly excellent, widely underrated main event match with CM Punk and Jeff Hardy blowing off a great rivalry with a tremendous TLC Match. It’s understandable enough why this one would get lost to the sands of time. Jeff Hardy was more famous as part of a team with his brother, and WWE didn’t exactly celebrate his legacy following this match as it was his swan song before leaving the company for over eight years. Meanwhile, Punk would go on to much better celebrated work in follow up to his Pipebomb promo, before winding up persona non grata in WWE.

Another reason why the match gets forgotten? The segment directly afterward.

The Undertaker had been absent from the WWE landscape for four months and returned to challenge Punk. While the two didn’t really have a ready-made story, The Dead Man was immediately credible as a challenger for the World Heavyweight Championship, and an immediate distraction for the fact that Smackdown’s top face, Hardy, was headed out. The return came out of the blue and offered a memorable SummerSlam moment with The Phenom chokeslamming Punk to launch their new rivalry.

#4. The Undertaker Finishes Edge (2008)

Admittedly, it’s a bit tough to separate The Undertaker vs. Edge at SummerSlam 2008 from the post-match segment, but I do feel they’re two distinct entities. The match was a great one in which Edge played manic nicely to come at his long-time rival full force, and The Undertaker sought to finish off the villain who’d been a thorn in his side for nearly a year. Afterward, though The Dead Man went in for the kill.

While WWE got a little hokey with the special effects and cutaways, the central thrust of the post-match segment was sound. The Undertaker scraped his rival off the mat and carried him up a ladder with him. With the austere setting of Hell in a Cell still around them, The Phenom chokeslammed The Rated R Superstar off the ladder and through the ring, straight to Hell. This moment established The Undertaker as the undeniable victor of the long feud and wrote Edge off television for a few months, only to make a big return at Survivor Series.

#3. Team Cena Courts, Then Rejects The Miz (2010)

I know a lot of people don’t love the SummerSlam 2010 main event fourteen-man elimination tag, and that’s largely on account of Cena going over in the end, against all odds and most logic. The quality of that match is a debate for another time; I’m here, instead, to focus on the awesome build to this match, which culminated at SummerSlam itself.

One of the pros of the big main event match was that it lent the match a sense of cohesion for the build to it throughout the night. The Nexus continued its wicked ways in laying waste to superstars earlier in the show. On top of that, there was a point of intrigure regarding whom would complete John Cena’s team, given he was a man down. The Miz—an ascendant star and reigning United States Champion—had gotten the invite prior to SummerSlam but in perfect douche heel fashion, left everyone hanging about whether he’d actually join the team.

While I’m stretching for the purposes of this countdown, I’m taking the composite of all of the Miz segments at this SummerSlam leading up to the main event. It started with Edge and Chris Jericho cozying up to him to try to convince him to join, then Miz arrogantly proclaimed himself part of the team, then, when he actually came out to join the match, John Cena cut him off, only to give way to the glorious reintroduction of Daniel Bryan to the WWE audience.

The sum of all these pieces made Miz both look like a much bigger star and a bigger heel, while also paving the way for Bryan to get a huge reaction for the surprise come back. While the match didn’t necessarily to live up all of its hype, these segments were nonetheless money.

#2. The Match Made In Heaven (1991)

By contemporary standards, The Match Made In Heaven—a mock wedding ceremony in the ring for Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth—looks ridiculous. In a strange attempt at authenticity, very few real wrestling personalities were involved, in favor of actual family and friends (or extras booked to look as such). Moreover, it’s that strange wrestling wedding that actually goes off without a hitch.

The reception would, of course, get chaotic and lead to a major wrestling angle, but that was all aired after SummerSlam. For SummerSlam itself, this was the incredibly rare non-match PPV main event segment. While I don’t exactly want to see WWE repeat this scenario, I do have to give them credit for the unique spectacle of the moment itself—a heartwarming payoff to years of storylines with Savage and Liz, and confirmation that The Macho Man really was a hero again after years on the other side of the tracks.

#1. Chris Jericho Punches Shawn Michaels’ Wife (2008)

When Shawn Michaels gave an interview segment at SummerSlam, it seemed like an odd choice. After all, here was one of the best in ring workers in the world, missing wrestling at one of the biggest shows of the year in the twilight of his career. And it’s not like he didn’t have an active storyline going. No, he was already feuding with another of the best in the business who, by the way, was also missing an opportunity to wrestle at SummerSlam.

As it turned out, the segment would see Michaels tease retirement, his wife by his side. Jericho would expertly (if predictably) needle Michaels into a confrontation. And then Jericho took a swing at HBK, only to wind up punching Michaels’s wife in the face.

Look, I don’t enjoy seeing a man hit a woman, but when it comes to building righteous heat, this segment fundamentally worked, perfectly executed by two of the best all-around workers in wrestling history and HBK’s wife Rebecca who was game to participate. Ironically, part of why the segment came across so well was for how real it actually and inadvertently was. Jericho accidentally delivered a much stiffer blow than he meant to and according to his retelling felt horrible afterward, while Michaels was not so much angry as scared at both the prospect of his wife actually be hurt and how pissed she’d justifiably be for having gotten dragged into this. To her credit, Rebecca reportedly took it all in stride and was the first to laugh about the whole thing. One of the great rivalries of the last decade marched on, and rose to a whole new level based on this segment.

Which segments would you add to the list? Let us know what you think in the comments.

Read more from Mike Chin at his website and follow him on Twitter @miketchin.