The SmarK Rant For WWE Backlash 2004

The SmarK Rant for WWE Backlash 2004

– So finally I’m back home and organized enough to do a rant of the show, after a whirlwind weekend of WWE-stuff that I’ll get into in the RAW rant, because that’s where most of it is pertinent.

FYI, my seats ended up being section 119, row 4 (which is literally one row off the floor and I was sitting right beside the hard camera and right behind the soundboard, dead center to the ring) and just to give you an idea of how great these seats were, Shane McMahon and Chuck Palumbo were sitting beside us. Shane was great, marking out like nuts all night and generally going with the flow. We could watch the PPV feed on the monitors at the same time as the live action in the ring, which was kind of trippy. Plus we got to see the official script for the show, complete with neatly formatted title page and everything. They really do exist. And the best thing was that the tickets were actually there ON TIME this time around! We even got to bypass the insane lineups outside by going to the Will Call window.

Rexall Place was legitimately sold out with about 15,000 or so — I couldn’t see any blocked off sections (outside of the area around the hard camera, directly behind me) and there were only a few empty seats here and there. T-shirts were very reasonable, and I picked up a Backlash shirt with the three-way on the front and Foley-Orton on the back for $30. You could also get all the Stone Cold and Goldberg shirts for $10 each.

It really amazes me, too, what a great job of making the arena look so much bigger than it is that they do.

– Live from EDMONTON, ALBERTA!

– Your hosts are JR & King.

– The crowd was going crazy for Benoit from the moment the show started, even during Heat.

– Opening match: Shelton Benjamin v. Ric Flair. Fun fact: This is the first time I’ve seen Flair wrestle, live, despite going to dozens of house shows from 86-present. Flair was just crazy over as a face, which made me think they should have used Batista in this spot. Benjamin takes him down with a fireman’s carry and gives Ric some attitude, which draws heat from the fans. Slugfest leads to a Flair Flop, but Flair comes back with a chop in the corner, and he dodges a charge. Flair overpowers him and they criss-cross into a Shelton dropkick, and he dumps Flair with a clothesline. Slugfest on the floor, but Flair gets backdropped. Back in, Flair goes to the eyes and chops him down, but goes up and gets slammed. Benjamin gives him a couple of clotheslines, but whiffs on a dropkick and Flair tries a figure-four. Benjamin reverses for two. He clotheslines Flair, going back on offense, but Flair kicks him in the knee to take over again. He pounds away on it and mixes in some chops in the corner, and it’s figure-four time. Shelton tries to fight it off, but succumbs. Flair gets two off it, but Shelton reverses until they get to the ropes. I was disappointed at not seeing Flair using the ropes live. Flair chops him down again for two. He grabs a chair, but the ref confiscates it, so they slug it out, with Shelton eventually winning, and an enzuigiri triggers another Flair Flop. It’s like he’s epileptic tonight or something. Dragon Whip kick puts Flair down again, but he keeps coming, and they slug it out again. Benjamin wins that battle and whips him out for a Flair Flip, then suplexes him back in, only to walk into a monster chop. Flair goes up again, for reasons that escape me, then comes down again, only to get hit with a Blinger Splash and the flying clothesline for the pin at 9:32. This was better live, as Flair just looked old and slow on tape. ** My original rating upon seeing it live was about Ѕ* higher.

– The Coach v. Tajiri. Coach had really good heat with the crowd before the show. They exchange waistlocks, but Coach escapes, so Tajiri kicks him in the leg. He bails and Tajiri follows, but misses a high kick and hits the post. Back in, Coach gets two. He starts working on the leg and gets a kneecrusher, then takes him down into a kneebar. Coach isn’t bad, actually. Tajiri reverses, so Coach has to make the ropes. Coach stays on the leg, but Tajiri gets a sunset flip for two. Coach clips him again and goes back to the kneebar, even using the ropes. Tajiri kicks out of that in pretty vicious fashion, and Coach backs off to the corner. He tries going up, but it’s like Tito Santana in 1979 or something, as he takes so long that Tajiri crotches him and hangs him in the Tree of Woe. Then he dropkicks the back of his head in a nasty spot, for two. Coach, dying for our pleasure? What world is this? Tajiri follows with a handspring elbow and dropkick to come back, and the high kick triggers a series of them. Coach blocks a monkey flip in the corner for two, but Tajiri gets the Tarantula. But alas, Garrison Cade runs in and hits Tajiri, giving Coach the pin at 6:26. You’d expect a comedy match for this, but it wasn’t, as Coach actually tried to work a normal wrestling match, and succeeded for the most part. Not bad. *1/4

– Christian & Trish v. Chris Jericho. For those wondering, Christian cut a promo on the crowd before the show, where he basically mocked Canadian fans for caring about where people were announced from, and then made sure to note that the Leafs rule and the Oilers suck. By that point, we were sure to boo them. He had me at “Leafs rule”, actually. Jericho is temporarily from Winnipeg again tonight. Jericho slugs Christian down and goes after Trish, but Christian runs interference, so Jericho elbows him down and gets a backdrop. At this point, a CRAZY loud “slut” chant starts (with Shane participating), and Jericho suplexes Christian for two. Jericho has words for Trish, and Christian clobbers him from behind as the “slut” chant starts again. Christian charges and gets tossed by Jericho, setting up the springboard dropkick. Back in, Jericho goes up with a flying elbow for two. He chops away, and “accidentally” collides with Trish while running the ropes, but Christian suplexes him onto the top rope to take over, and then purposely collides with Jericho to send him into the railing. Back in, it’s Trish time, as she uses the SLAPS OF DOOM and a high kick to put Jericho down. Back to Christian, as he hits the chinlock. Jericho fights out and goes for the Walls, but Christian kicks him off, only to suffer a headbutt to his favorite muscle for his troubles. Jericho rolls him up for two. He chops away again and gets a clothesline, into the Flashback for two. Northern Lights suplex gets two. Christian whips him into the corner, where Trish gets a slap to allow Christian an inverted DDT out of the corner for two. Jericho comes back with another attempt at the Walls, so Jericho picks her up for the SPANKING OF DEATH, which the crowd loves. That allows Christian to hit the Unprettier, however, and Trish comes in for two. Christian gets another two off it. Trish charges in and Jericho kills her with a clothesline, but Christian clobbers him from behind again and it’s a triple-count. They slug it out and Jericho forearms him down, into the running choke. Bulldog, but the Lionsault misses, as usual. Christian takes him down with a Texas Cloverleaf, but Jericho powers into the Walls, then releases and puts it on Trish instead. Christian cradles for two. Smart man. Unprettier, but Jericho reverses to a catapult this time, sending Christian into Trish, and the enzuigiri finishes at 11:13. Lots of fun, although not as technically sound as the WM match. ***

– Women’s title: Victoria v. Lita. Lita takes Victoria down with a pair of armdrags to start. Victoria goes to a headlock and works that, and they do a bridge sequence out of that. Victoria armdrags her again. Non-crazy Victoria is starting to bore me. They fight over a lockup and land on the floor, but nothing happens. Back in, Victoria gets a backslide for two, as Lawler points out the green hanky in Lita’s pocket. So it’s time for the HANKY CODE! And it’s apparently “Dines off tricks” if worn in the left pocket, so Lita is apparently a whore. They do a laughable pinfall reversal sequence until Victoria slams her into the standing moonsault for two. She hits the chinlock and then surfboards her, but Lita reverses into a headscissors. Corner clothesline, as everything looks really sloppy, including the elbow that gets two. Snap suplex and another headscissors as Lita comes back, and she gets a MAIN EVENT SLEEPER, but Victoria makes the ropes. She comes back with the sideslam for two. Moonsault misses and Lita rolls her up for two. Twist of Fate gets two. Another try is countered by Victoria into a small package for the pin at 7:22. I’m hoping to never see Lita wrestle again, as this was very sloppy and dull. Molly & Kim do the heel chick beatdown afterwards. Ѕ*

– Intercontinental title: Randy Orton v. Mick Foley. Randy’s pathetic little barbed-wire 2×4 is kinda sad, really. Foley attacks with the real one to start, pounding him into the corner until he bails, and they do a chase outside the ring until Orton is able to take him into the stairs. He gets the bat and they fight over it, but Foley wins that battle, so Orton clobbers him with a garbage can. He charges with it one time too many, however, and gets it kicked back in his face for his troubles. Back in, Mick stomps him down and chokes away, setting up the kneelift and a legdrop that gets two. To show you the miracle of WWE camera work, from our position that legdrop missed by a foot, literally, but looked fine with the quick cut. Baseball slide puts Orton on the floor, and he follows with a neckbreaker. Foley goes up, but Orton evades any potential big elbows being dropped. They fight up the ramp, but Orton suplexes him there for two. Backslide gets two. I guess that was more for the surprise factor. With scientific wrestling not working, he slams Foley’s head back into the ramp and gets two. Back to ringside, where Foley meets the stairs, and Orton brings him back in and tries to introduce him to the barbed-wire, but Foley fights him off and goes low to escape. He brings forth the sock, but then polls the crowd on whether they’d rather see that or the bat, and the bat wins. There’s a certain charming element of total insanity there that you’d don’t see in normal sports. Orton eats the barbed-wire and starts bleeding, and Foley drops an elbow with the bat. He works on the cut and slugs away in the corner, then follows with the running knee to the face. Then he rubs the bat into Orton’s face for good measure, sending him scurrying. Mick keeps on him with the barbs and the wire and the hurting, and then takes it to the NEXT LEVEL by legdropping the baseball bat onto his crotch. Shane McMahon was going APESHIT at this point, by the way. So was I. Foley heads out for a gas can and a lighter (throw in some booze and you’ve got a PARTY!), but Eric Bischoff threatens to stop the show if he lights the bat. So Mick tosses it aside and uses a baking sheet instead. And then he finds a barbed-wire covered plywood sheet. Shane is nearly jumping up and down on his seat at this point. Foley slugs him into position, but gets powdered and slammed onto the table. Well, he’s the one who brought it in. Orton gets two off that. Orton puts the sheet in the corner and they reverse each other until Foley inevitably ends up getting whipped into the barbed wire. Orton drops the barbed wire on him for extra incentive. And speaking of incentive, Orton dumps a bag of tacks on the mat. Orton tries an RKO, but Foley dumps him onto the tacks. Jesus, even HHH wasn’t crazy enough to try that spot. The tacks are EVERYWHERE, stuck into Orton’s HAND and back, and Foley cradles for two. In moderation, those kinds of sick spots are VERY cool. Orton retreats up the ramp, but Mick’s in no mood for moderation, so he brawls with him and then tosses him off the stage, through a table below. That’s even sicker considering he landed on the thumbtack-covered back. Foley, crazy man, follows with an elbow off the stage. The arena thought it was over at that point, but Orton kicks out at two. Back to the ring, where Foley DDTs him for two. He sets up the barbed-wire sheet in the corner again, but Orton nails him with the bat to draw blood, and then pounds him down caveman-fashion. However, age and guile defeat youth and power in this case, as Orton then walks into a Mandible Sock. He goes low to break. Foley goes back to the claw, but Orton escapes with an RKO. That gets two. Another one, onto the bat, gets the pin at 23:04. Orton was over bigtime with the crowd here after that. **** I liked it better live, because of the more visceral feelings of being there to see the beatings, but it was still a great coming-out party for Orton.

– La Resistance v. Hurricane & Rosey. This was the bathroom / concession / merchandise break for me and everyone else. Hurricane grabs a headlock on Conway to start, but gets hiptossed. Back to it, but Conway escapes again, only to see his clever hiptoss plan foiled. Rosey hiptosses Hurricane onto Conway for two. Conway charges and hits elbow, but takes Hurricane off the top with a neckbreaker. Sweet. Powerslam and Grenier comes in for two. Backbreaker gets two. Suplex and he whips Hurricane into the corner, setting up a bearhug. Eugene wanders out, however, as Rosey gets the “hot” tag and slams Conway and Grenier. Samoan drop gets two. La Rez try a double-team, but Eugene plays with the Quebec flag. La Rez gets dumped and Hurricane hits them with a crossbody to the floor. Eugene comes into the ring and runs the ropes in a totally pointless segment, and Hurricane hits Conway with the Eye of the Hurricane at 5:01. This all looked totally screwed up. DUD

– Kane v. Edge. Kane’s pyro fails to go off, which explains his surly nature. Earl Hebner is the ref here, which immediately distracts the entire crowd. Edge’s pop is pretty weak, too. Edge slugs on Kane to start, but gets nowhere. He pounds away in the corner, but gets choked down. Kane works on the bad arm, but Edge hits him with a clothesline out of the corner, and Kane bails. Edge baseball slides him and sends him into the post, but preps the announce table to no avail. Kane rams the bad arm into the stairs and stomps on it back in the ring, as they totally lose the crowd. He gets two. Kane goes to a wristlock as JR & King meander with their commentary, having nothing to talk about. Edge fights up, but gets sideslammed. Kane misses an elbow, however, and Edge comes back with a leg lariat, only to run into a big boot. Kane goes up and Edge follows, but gets knocked down again. Kane whiffs on the clothesline and Edge gets the DDT, but Kane does the zombie situp. He goes for the chokeslam, but Edge uses the cast with the ref on the floor, and spears him for the pin at 6:25. Maybe it’s time to repackage Glen Jacobs again. ѕ*

– RAW World title: Chris Benoit v. HHH v. Shawn Michaels. Benoit brings the awesome by holding the belt in the faces of both challengers, just because he CAN. Some fans in the front row get on Shawn a bit during intros, but that’s nothing compared to the ambush we had in store for him later. Benoit attacks HHH to start and it’s a three-way slugfest in the corner until Benoit & Michaels work together for a backdrop and dump HHH. Shawn turns on Benoit and they exchange chops, which Benoit wins in intense fashion, and he kills Shawn with a lariat out of the corner. Shawn comes back with a neckbreaker, but HHH joins us again and slugs it out with Shawn. High knee puts Shawn down and HHH goes after Benoit next and tosses him, thus killing the crowd’s interest in the match as a whole. Shawn gets an atomic drop on HHH and slugs him down, but puts his head down and HHH goes for the Pedigree. Shawn escapes and they both knock Benoit off the apron again, but he makes it back in and throws a suplex on Shawn, and another for HHH. Back to Shawn, but he blocks, so Benoit chops them both down instead and backdrops HHH. Shawn throws his wussy chops again, so Benoit whips him out of the ring. HHH dives off the middle rope, but lands in a crossface. Benoit breaks to go after Shawn again, possibly because he’s still pissed about Shawn hitting like a girl. Back in, Benoit goes up, but gets knocked down by HHH and they slug it out on top. HHH tries a superplex, but Shawn breaks it up and Benoit hits the floor. Shawn takes HHH down with an electric chair and gets two. He slugs away on HHH, but walks into a facecrusher and both guys are out. Benoit sneaks in with a flying headbutt on Shawn, however, and gets two. HHH and Benoit slug it out and HHH loses that battle by getting tossed, but Benoit can’t suplex Michaels. The ref gets bumped on a forearm attempt by Shawn, and that allows HHH to go for the Pedigree, which Benoit reverses to a Sharpshooter attempt, but HHH fights him off. Benoit takes him down again and gets it this time, but there’s no ref. Shawn breaks it up, but gets taken down into a crossface as a result, so that was more of a pyrrhic victory. Benoit tries to revive the ref with no luck, but Shawn takes him down into a Sharpshooter as Earl Hebner runs out as the new ref. This was supposed to be heel heat, but it was more like “I can’t believe they’re doing this” heat, and it just made us more pissed off at everyone involved in Montreal. Shawn breaks the move and slugs away on HHH in the corner, and now begins the mother of all “You Screwed Bret” chants at Shawn as he gets two on Benoit. TV doesn’t even do the chant justice, as it was THUNDEROUS live. Even Shane was chanting it! Benoit takes him down into the crossface, which makes us all happy, but HHH breaks it up. I love JR & King doing their “get over it” speech to us, even though it was precipitated by a spot STOLEN FROM MONTREAL just five seconds earlier! HHH DDTs Benoit for two. HHH starts throwing chops, and now we get on HHH with “You tapped out”, which he seems to have inherited from Brock. Benoit comes back with chops and whips him out of the ring, but Shawn clotheslines him for two. Benoit fights back with chops, but gets tossed, so an annoyed Shawn goes up and overshoots, putting himself through the table with a crossbody attempt. HHH takes over on Benoit, whipping him into the stairs and bringing him in for a beating. Into the post goes Benoit, on both sides of the ring, and he hits the floor off the second one. Back in, HHH milks an “asshole” chant and slugs Benoit down again, into a camel clutch now. HHH pounds away in the corner, until Benoit hotshots him to break free, thus ending the only really weak part of the match. HHH gets a facecrusher, but walks into the rolling germans, and Benoit goes up, but misses the headbutt. Lawler notes that “showboats come crashing down to earth” before switching to a more apt metaphor about boats sinking. KICK WHAM PEDIGREE gets two, as Shawn revives and saves. Everyone is out, as HHH & Michaels revive first and slug it out, which no one cares about because they ain’t Benoit. Shawn gets the flying forearm and he’s filled with the PASSION OF THE CHRIST. Without the stigmata, or Mel directing. Shawn goes up with the flying elbow and tunes up the band, but the crowd won’t play along. Shawn takes it out on Benoit, superkicking him off the apron, which draws huge heel heat, but HHH goes low on him and gets two. KICK WHAM PEDIGREE, but Shawn reverses him out of the ring. HHH gets his trusty sledgehammer and hits Shawn in the back, right in the same spot as he did at Summerslam 2002 (nice touch, indeed). He overreacts the same way Bill does. Benoit tries to come back, but eats the stairs again at the hands of HHH. HHH sets up the stairs and tries a Pedigree on them, but Benoit catapults him into the post to remove him from the equation. Benoit heads back into the ring, nearly walking into a superkick from Shawn, but he catches the leg and takes him down into the Sharpshooter, as the crowd goes INSANE. Shawn makes the ropes, but Benoit pulls him back, and it’s Tap City, Population 1, at 30:09. Technical note: Nancy and the kids are seen at ringside, but they were only there for the previous insert and this match, as they left and were replaced by seat-fillers for the rest of the show. Couple of slow spots as compared to the non-stop action of Wrestlemania, but this stands as the second-best three-way ever. ****3/4 I’d say Benoit’s push is for real now.

After the PPV ended, Benoit wrapped himself in the Canadian flag and then verbally punked out Shawn, telling him to “pack his bags and go home because he’s not wanted here”, and then got into a confrontation with HHH, who promised never to tap again. He then tapped to a crossface to end the show for us.

The Bottom Line:

One **** mach is generally enough for a thumbs-up from me, and this one had two, which made for one of the best shows I’ve ever attended live. Most of the rest was filler, but it was filling around some great matches, so that’s fine.

Thumbs way up.

To be continued in the RAW Rant, coming later!