wrestling / Columns

The Wrestling 5 & 1 05.02.10: Layla I’m Begging Darling Please

May 2, 2010 | Posted by Ryan Merholz

BEFORE WE BEGIN…
Hello everyone and welcome to the Wrestling 5 & 1!!!

I am your host Ryan Merholz, and if you think I’m as swell as I do, you should follow me on Twitter!

www.twitter.com/411RyanMerholz

Learn cool things about me maybe, and at the very least, stock up on real life wrestlers to follow yourself!

Probably follow the rest of the fine 411 Twitter feeds as well…

http://www.twitter.com/411mania
http://www.twitter.com/411wrestling
http://www.twitter.com/411moviestv
http://www.twitter.com/411music
http://www.twitter.com/411games
http://www.twitter.com/411mma

I also wanted to take a second to thank everybody for the overwhelmingly positive feedback to my debut last week. I’m glad everybody enjoyed it (for the most part) and hope you’ll continue to stick around!

Alright, let’s get this show on the road!

WHO SAID WHAT?

A local website in Tennessee posted a brief interview with Kane earlier this week. While the article mainly focused on WWE’s recent volcano adventure and his upcoming match with Chris Jericho, he also spoke briefly about WWE’s turn towards more PG-rated content.

You were expecting a big, fuzzy sweater?

When asked what he thought about the new PG WWE, Kane said the following:

“I think it is good. When you watch a lot of TV, you see there is a lot of graphic stuff. You don’t want your kids watching (violence) like ‘The Sopranos.’ Some of the hardcore fans may be disappointed, but I think it’s great we’re getting more families to come out.”

I think what Kane probably really meant to say was something more along the lines of “I think its good, because in 2010 WWE I can’t be accused of rape, murder, necrophilia, premature ejaculation…”

VS.

Last week featured a battle of recent future endeavors, Mickie James vs Katie Lea. The results were honestly pretty surprising, though I personally am pleased by them. In what I think is a surprising upset, Katie Lea defeated Mickie James by a final tally of 21 – 14.

Thanks to everybody who voted!

This week features a battle between two apparent internet rivals – one announced her imminent departure from TNA while the other confessed her undying love for the company…

Tara VS. Madison Rayne

VOTE IN YOUR COMMENT!

WRESTLING TWITTER-A-GO-GO

First up this week, we have Shannon Moore’s thoughts on Mickie James coming to TNA:

“I would love to see Micky James come in to TNA. She is one of the best females in the biz in my opinion.”

Besides the fact that TNA management probably isn’t asking how Shannon would feel about bringing Mickie into the company – one of the best females in the biz?

Look, I honestly was a huge Mickie James fan when she first came into the company. Her introductory angle with Trish was probably the best female angle I’ve seen as a wrestling fan. Her matches when she first came in usually delivered, and she was hot.

Now while I still personally feel like she’s still pretty hot (flame away), it really can’t be denied that she hasn’t been the Mickie I fell in love with for a long time. Whether it’s because her heart isn’t in it anymore or because of her weight or because she wants to sing country music, she hasn’t been one of the “best” in a few years now.

Then again, we’re talking about TNA, where WWE castoffs are welcomed with open arms and big pushes. She’ll be champion before the summers out.

In other “people whose weight comes up far too often” news, Matt Hardy took to Twitter to further reassure the masses that he’s doing alright:

“Once again, I want to apologize to my MFers & fans as I am having injury issues that won’t allow me to work a full-time schedule right now. It’s complicated, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. I’ll be making all the TVs for sure tho. I’m sorry, I hate missing any WWE event. On the bright side, having some time off from beating my body up should help allow me to get my body back to where I want it physically..”

I mainly picked this out cuz I know all you crazy 411ers love to rag on Fatt Hardy, but I also think it’s pretty hilarious that the guy tweets almost daily about his badass workout routines and then turns around and acts like being on the shelf for a few weeks is gonna get him over the hump.

I really don’t personally think Matt has a weight problem, have you seen some of the other dudes in the company and Matt Hardy is the guy everyone comes down on? But seriously man, when you post that kind of stuff, you’re just begging for people to flame you.

5 THINGS YOU DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT…BATISTA

Big Dave has been in the news a lot over the past couple weeks as he is possibly wrapping up his WWE tenure for good. If Batista is indeed going to be a memory soon, here’s some trivia to remember him by…

1. Before entering professional wrestling, Batista was not only a professional bodybuilder, but also a lifeguard.

2. He was sentenced to a years probation after badly injuring two bar patrons in a fight while working as a bouncer.

3. While working in Ohio Valley Wrestling as the Leviathan, he remained undefeated until finally losing to WWE Superstar Kane due to outside interference from Stone Cold Steve Austin.

4. Batista is a collector of vintage metal lunchboxes – his favorite being a Green Hornet lunchbox circa 1967 featuring Bruce Lee.

5. He is incapable of tearing duct tape with brute force despite the fact that it easily rips during initial application.

The Deacon has no need for sleves. Ohhhhhh testifyyyyyyy!

VIDEO A-GO-GO

This weeks video is not quite wrestling related, but I feel it’s appropriate for this weekend especially.

I started the tradition of showing this video to my coworkers back in 2007 and last night we kept the tradition alive for another year…now I share it with all of you as well.

Happy spring everybody!

Warning! You might consider this NSFW!

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WWE Extreme Rules is officially in the books and my cash is safely in Vince McMahons pocket. Time now to find out whether or not the show was worth it…

Presents

First, as always, we start off with our super-scientific formula for calculating the projected worth of each part of the show. Keep in mind I round things to the nearest nickel, so as not to piss myself off. Oh, and for the purposes of this column, I don’t have HD and neither do you.

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P = 2(A)x + 1.5(B)x + 1(C)x + 0.1(P)

Ten-percent of the PPV price accounts for non-wrestling related activities, such as in-ring promos, backstage segments, video packages, etc.

Aside from that, A B and C represent the different classes of matches on the card:

Class C: Filler matches with little to no solid build behind them.
Class B: Secondary, but still significant matches that were well-promoted prior to the show.
Class A: The main event, as well as other high-profile, heavily promoted matches on the card, usually involving the major titles.

And since WWE is a bunch of assholes who insist on having unannounced matches on PPV, they screwed up my whole equation. Let’s try this one more time…

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The Breakdown (as I see it):

Class C: Michelle McCool vs. Beth Phoenix, JTG vs. Shad Gaspard, ShowMiz vs. The Gauntlet

Class B: Edge vs. Chris Jericho, Triple H vs. Sheamus, Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk

Class A: John Cena vs. Batista, Jack Swagger vs. Randy Orton

The Calculation (as the universe sees it):

45 = 2(2)x + 1.5(3)x + 1(3)x + 0.1(45)
45 = 4x + 4.5x + 3x + 4.5
40.5 = 11.5x
x = 3.52

The Result (as you will see it):

Class A: $7.04
Class B: $5.28
Class C: $3.52

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And now, THE GOODNESS!

Bonus Materials – Price Tag: $4.50

This PPV was a bit heavy on backstage storyline stuff as they were obviously trying to fit in content that should have aired on RAW before mother nature shoved her foot up Europe’s ass.

We had several segments throughout the night featuring the aftermath of Sheamus’ attack on HHH which overall felt pointless because we all knew they weren’t going to call the match. Not to mention the angle they played with him having nerve damage was beyond ridiculous. Why couldn’t they just say he was hit in the head and be done with it? I couldn’t really tell if they had to cover because the camera angle clearly showed Sheamus hitting his shoulder or if it was planned that way from the start. Either way, stupid.

The Miz promo leading up to the gauntlet match was entertaining enough, but the flow really seemed off between him and Teddy Long. They just kept stepping on each other trying to talk and it really hurt the promo.

The video packages for the show, which WWE usually knocks out of the park, also felt somewhat off tonight. The Swagger/Orton and Jericho/Edge packages in particular both just felt long and didn’t really get me excited for the matches. The standout I think we was the Cena/Batista package which really sold the feuds continuation since ‘Mania, especially in light of Dave not appearing on the previous RAW.

Overall Value: $2.00

The Hart Dynasty def. ShowMiz via Pinfall (Springboard Hart Attack) – Price Tag: $3.52

Our opener was obviously another bit of content meant for the previous RAW, but I digress.

This gauntlet match was dumb for a few reasons…

First, how stupid are we to believe John Morrison is that he wouldn’t think to break his hold on the ropes before a 5 count? When does a babyface challenger EVER do something like that? Dumb finish #1.

Round two is MVP and Mark Henry. All I can say is thank God that Big Show is no longer a tag champ as of writing this, because I don’t think I could stand to see another match end with him punching somebody in the face from outside for the KO. Seriously it’s been the finish to probably half the matches Show won with Miz and Jericho. Dumb finish #2.

The third round sees the Hart Dynasty come out and pin Miz in about 20 seconds. This only sucked because it’s what everyone knew was going to happen the second this whole thing started. It’s not a BAD result, it’s just the whole path to getting there was not satisfying.

Really the only thing I enjoyed about this whole scenario was watching poor Mark Henry try and keep up with MVP as he bolted to the ring. The springboard Hart Attack was pretty slick too. But yeah, otherwise, no thanks.

Overall Value: $1.00

CM Punk def. Rey Mysterio via Pinfall (Go to Sleep) – Price Tag: $5.28

This was the match I would have liked to have seen at Wrestlemania. They actually got some time and put on a really slick match this time around. The match featured some awesome spots (highlight for me was the Gory Special) and I was pleased that Punk took home the victory here.

Oh, and damn if I ain’t a sucker for the mystery wrestler angle. I really liked the way this played out. The guy slid a chair in to the ring to distract the ref, popped out on the other side of the ring and destroyed Rey, and then vanished. And we still don’t know who it is! Suspense!

In light of the shenanigans, I have to wonder here if the feud might continue for one more month. I certainly would love to see a rubber match between these guys, possibly if they throw some kind of gimmick in for good measure?

Overall Value: $6.00

Strap Match: JTG def. Shad Gaspard via The Only Possible Finish – Price Tag: $3.52

Not only did neither of these guys get moved off of Smackdown!, but Shad didn’t win which means THIS FEUD WILL SADLY PROBABLY CONTINUE!

What can I really say about a strap match? I’ve never really been a fan of the concept because it somewhat limits creative booking ideas (the Orton/Dusty Rhodes match is the only one I can remember off-hand that I enjoyed). Not to mention it’s the kind of match that needs some heat behind it, and nobody gives a shit about Cryme Tyme.

I suppose it was fine for what it was, but I wouldn’t have cared had it not even been on the show.

Overall Value: $2.00

Extreme Rules (?) for the World Heavyweight Title: Jack Swagger (c) def. Randy Orton via Pinfall (Gut-Wrench Powerbomb) – Price Tag: $7.04

I knew going in that this match probably wouldn’t make its main-event pricetag, but them’s the rules. It was actually a pretty good match, though apparently most of you didn’t enjoy it as much as I did.

I really like how Orton has transitioned into his role as a face. He still does all of his dastardly Viper spots but in general everything is a bit more brisk with his pace. Me likey. I’m also a big fan of Swagger and I’m glad they finally stopped jobbing the guy to Santino and gave him a chance to run with the ball.

That said, what really killed this match for me was that they billed it as Extreme Rules and there was next to nothing that played to the stipulation. Swagger TRIED a few times to use some weapons but never landed them. He ended up eating two trashcan shots, Orton got thrown on top of the char, and that was it! If they didn’t want to take that sort of direction with the match that’s fine, but why specifically book that stipulation if you’re barely going to use it?

If it’s PG concerns, just come up with something else for fuck sake. They could have just billed the thing as “No Holds Barred” and then not disappointed everyone where there were no sick spots and barely any weapons.

Lastly, what the fuck was the point of bitching out Swagger after the match ended? Did we really need to protect Orton after he had already pinned the guy twice on TV? Guess what, ‘E? It kinda hurts the guys win for him to immediately eat an RKO on the floor.

Overall Value: $5.00

Street Fight: Sheamus def. Triple H via Pinfall (Cavalcade of Pump Kicks) – Price Tag: $5.28

First of all, let’s just get this out of the way. What’s the different between Extreme Rules and a Street Fight? Please tell me in the comments if you actually know. I’m not counting this against the match or anything, I just honestly don’t think there’s a difference and thought it was kind of a cop-out to see the same stipulation in two matches on the PPV. And THEN THEY PUT THEM BACK TO BACK. At least this one had some weapons and shit.

Anyway.

The story here was Triple H was all twitchy from the pipe shot at the start of the show but was still man enough (fella) to face Sheamus. The match was solid and I thought came off better than their Wrestlemania encounter, but I thought the whole injury angle kind of hurt the credibility of the win.

Basically what we saw here was a solid match that Triple H really could have won several times had he not have been attacked and injured ahead of time. Sheamus, you’ll note, never flat out reversed the Pedigree, but rather HHH was just not strong enough to execute it on both tries.

While I appreciate that the finish of the match saw HHH get completely demolished and went a long way in looking Sheamus look like a badass, I wish they could have done that finish with an even match beforehand. It also would have saved us from the hilarious visual of HHH delivering a million one-armed kendo stick shots.

The post-match festivities came off well, I think. Sheamus looked like a complete asshole coming out and putting ‘H down with a fifth kick for good measure. I didn’t think much of Sheamus at first but this feud overall has really changed my opinion of him.

Overall Value: $5.28

Extreme Makeover Match for the Women’s Championship: Beth Phoenix def. Michelle McCool (c) via Pinfall (Glam Slam) – Price Tag: $3.52

This was honestly much better than I had expected. I’ve never been a big fan of Michelle but she honestly is one of the more solid performers on the ladies roster, and I always enjoy watching Beth for the most part.

The stipulation was kinda iffy (though again, feature more “extreme” spots than Orton/Swagger), but I though they used it as well as they probably could have. Watching Beth bounce that bucket off Michelle’s head was one of the funniest things I’ve seen in WWE in a while.

Overall this felt like they couldn’t decide if it should be a comedy match or a serious fight, so they just kinda bounced the spots back and forth. That said, it’s was the best WWE women’s PPV match in recent memory, and I really have no complaints considering my initial expectations.

Overall Value: $3.52

Steel Cage Match: Edge def. Chris Jericho via Pinfall (Spear, Spear, SPEAR) – Price Tag: $5.28

I really never would have expected I’d end up giving the thumbs down to an Edge/Jericho match. Jericho is my favorite of all time and Edge is no sloutch, hell their Wrestlemania outing was excellent in my eyes. This match though just felt off.

First off, I really REALLY hated the tease that Jericho had the match easily won just for him to run back into the fray to put the beating on Edge. It made him look incredibly stupid and didn’t really fit his character. If I’m heel Chris Jericho, I win the match because I’m the best and THEN I go injure the guy in the cage. Poor booking decision imo.

Aside from that, it just felt like it dragged on for too long. Nobody could get behind Edge because nobody wants to get behind Edge. The guy just doesn’t work as a face. So you had that while he’s trying to get the crowd amped up for him to do what? Twist Jericho’s ankle for a few minutes and then spear him. Cuz yeah, that weakened ankle really enhances the damage of the spear.

Anyway, I was pretty disappointed overall. The match started out great and then it just didn’t end and it really ended up killing it for me.

Overall Value: $4.00

Last Man Standing for the WWE Championship: John Cena (c) def. Batista via Lame Duct Finish (get it? Do ya?) – Price Tag: $7.04

It’s no secret I am not a big fan of either of these guys, but Cena at least I can appreciate for always busting his ass and putting on the best match he can. He does well at gimmick matches and I’ve especially enjoyed him in Last Man Standing throughout his WWE tenure.

95% of this match was truly awesome, to be frank. We had some ridiculously brutal spots including an Attitude Adjustment through the announce table, the spinebuster through the table in the ring. Plus, Batista screaming that he hates some random kid in the crowd will probably be the one thing I remember about him when he’s gone from WWE.

Well, that and the finish.

The finish…well. While I admit that it was creative and I found it to be amusing because I really hate Batista, it was not the kind of finish we should be seeing in the second round of a blood feud between two of the companies top stars.

Nobody wants to see a Last Man Standing match end on a stupid technicality where the loser is not even close to being KO’d. It was just silly. If this match were on the undercard, ok. But this is not how you blow off the biggest match of the PPV, just my opinion.

That said, the rest of the match was so thoroughly enjoyable to me that I would be hard pressed not to say it was more than worth it anyway. The finish just kept it from going higher.

Overall Value: $8.00

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The Final Tally:

Overall Price Tag: $45.00

Match of the Night: Last Man Standing: John Cena vs. Batista – 114% Value ($8.00 worth, $7.04 price tag)

Trash of the Night: Tag Team Gauntlet Match – 28% Value ($1.00 worth, $3.52 price tag)

Overall Value: $36.80

Resulting PPV Rating: B (82% Worth)

Closing Comments:

Overall a disappointing show, mostly propped up by the main event match. Jericho/Edge was by far the most disappointing section of the PPV for me personally. Their match wasn’t BAD by any means, but I’ve just come to expect more from these guys.

Rey and CM Punk nearly had the match of the night, and of all the matches on this card theirs is the only feud I’d really like to see continue for another month.

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That’s it for Worth Your Wealth this week. The feature will return in a few weeks on the night of WWE Over the Limit, so stay tuned!

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Alright kids, tuck in with a snack because it’s time now for the legit Wrestling 5 & 1, that’s 5 tasty tidbits of news from this week, & 1 smokin’ hottie to send you all home happy!

The WWE Draft – It’s What Random Would be if Random Wasn’t Random

The 2010 WWE Draft was held this past Monday on a very special edition of the longest-running episodic television show on cable – Monday Night RAW.

The complete results of the live and supplemental drafts are as follows:

Live Draft

1. Smackdown! acquires Kelly Kelly: – How hilarious is it that this is the first move of the entire draft? Way to sell the show, ‘E!.

2. Smackdown! acquires The Big Show: – I’m glad they’re doing something new with Show, the guy is comedy gold when he plays a face. So what if they’re going to feed him to Swagger?

3. – 4. RAW acquires John Morrison and R-Truth: This one is a shame, these guys are officially screwed.

5. RAW acquires Edge: Well now how is he gonna remarry Vicky?

6 . Smackdown! acquires Kofi Kingston: This is a good move for Kofi. I’d actually love to see a Swagger/Kingston feud to hold us over till Summerslam.

7. Smackdown! acquires Christion: And there goes my 30 minutes of hoping for a return of the Five Second Pose.

8. RAW acquires Chris Jericho: Yes. YES. Y. E. S. So glad Jericho is returning to Monday nights. Hopefully we’ll get to see him insult guest hosts every week like in days of old. And maybe someday he’ll win a match against John Cena!

Supplemental Draft

The supplemental draft was hosted by Howard Finkle and…Melina? Talking about sleeping in all day? I’m also a fan of Melina (flame away again) but this was pretty much crap. Can’t believe I brought my headphones into work for this. Just thought I’d point that out.

9. RAW acquires The Great Khali w/ Ranjin Singh: Again, didn’t he just retire? Good for Small, I guess.

10. Smackdown! acquires Chavo Guerrero: I guess if the guy is gonna job to a leprechaun and then disappear from TV entirely, he might as well do it with family.

11. Smackdown! aquires Cody Rhodes: It really pisses me off that Cody is the guy getting the short end of the stick in the Legacy split. He’s so much better on the mic than Ted and, in my opinion, more entertaining in the ring as well. Here’s hoping we at least see him on Superstars…

12. RAW acquires Natalya: Kind of a shame they moved her for storyline purposes and not so she can actually have a match or anything.

13. Smackdown! acquires Chris Masters: Dancing Moobs fit SyFy just fine, I guess. I honestly thought he had been released.

14. RAW acquires Ezekiel Jackson: I like Zeke and the guy works hard, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him be the next monster to take on Cena when he gets back. I didn’t say he was ready, mind you, just said I wouldn’t be surprised.

15. RAW acquires Goldust: There goes the chances at another feud I’d have liked to have seen. Cody kicking the shit out of Goldust = gold imo.

16. Smackdown! acquires Hornswoggle: First of all, why is he eligible for the draft? Second of all, thank fucking God.

17. Smackdown! acquires Rosa Mendes: Did she say no to Batista too? Poor Zach Ryder has exactly zero fans now…

18. – 19. RAW acquires The Hart Dynasty: I really hope this marks the start of refocusing the tag titles on legit tag teams. Not that there are any on RAW specifically, plus they can still float between shows. Regardless, I think the move was done simply so Bret can appear with them on RAW so here’s hoping they hold the belts for a while.

20. Smackdown! acquires MVP: Say hello to the next attempt to get Drew McIntyre over.

Overall, this was a decent draft. I kinda like that they got away from shifting all the champions this year, as they did that in 2008 and 2009 and it kind of ruined the surprise factor.

My favorite moves are definitely Jericho back to RAW and Kofi to Smackdown. Jericho is gold all over the place, but I just like seeing him on Monday nights cuz I sometimes can’t catch Smackdown.

Kofi I think will have a much better chance and breaking the glass ceiling on the blue brand, especially with Swagger as champ. And on his way there, a feud with CM Punk seems like it would be completely and utterly awesome.

TNA No Love-a the Bubba

After several months of contributing nothing to the company whatsoever, Bubba the Love Spong has been released from his TNA contract.

Frankly I doubt there is anyone who can deny that this release should have happened a lot sooner. During Bubba’s tenure with the company, his accomplishments included, but were not limited to:

• Standing around backstage asking people if they saw the mystery man who attacked them
• Getting punked-out on-screen by a “fired” Mick Foley
• Getting punked-out off-screen by Awesome Kong
• Talking shit about Awesome Kong whenever possible
• Running around and jiggling his man boobs next to THE BAND

In other words, the guy has been practically useless and seemingly toxic since coming to the company.

I get that he’s Hogan’s buddy and this is WCW 2.0, but I honestly would have rather have seen Brutus Beefcake in TNA than ever have this guy show up. They put him on screen and basically tell Jeremy Borash to fuck off (in storyline terms) simultaneously, to basically no ends whatsoever.

One individual who is obviously delighted by this development is former TNA talent Awesome Kong, who gleefully tweeted her reaction to the news:

” #Kongfucious says: Karma is a bitch… named Kong!!!!”

Can’t say I blame her. While I don’t necessarily agree with what she did to Bubba from a professional standpoint, I really can’t say I was too upset when I heard he had gotten his ass kicked for being a shitbag.

Since parting ways with TNA, Bubba has been a consummate professional. He took to, what else, Twitter, to voice his reaction to his release:

” Bubba Army, you guys are simply the best. Nobody could ask for better fans. TNA fans are nothing but a bunch of little cowardly [EXPLETIVE]

You love oiled up men in tights. You are a douche nozzle that thinks wrestling is real. Get a fucking life. Go away

You’re entire life is pointless. Go back to screwing your sister and watching TNA you white trash simpleton”

Simply charming. Not like your best friend is the guy running the company or anything. Good riddance.

Jim Ross No Longer a “Talent”

Good ol’ JR. took to the blogosphere once again this week to update everyone on his contact status:

” There is rampant speculation on the internet about my future. This is understandable as I’ve talked a great deal about it here on my blogs. Plus, it’s provided various wrestling sites, etc with some nice cannon fodder over the past few weeks.

This matter is much more simple than many perceive. My WWE ‘talent contract’ has ended after a 17+ year run with the company.

However, I am still a WWE employee handling the same talent relations functions that I have executed for the company for the past few years including since moving to Oklahoma. I simply do not have a ‘talent contract’ as WWE has no plans to utilize me as an on air talent at this time.

The WWE engaged in talks with me on Thursday of this week to discuss a new job description that would include what I am now doing along with other talent relations oriented matters. I am considering this offer and I trust that a decision will be made soon regarding this opportunity.

In the meantime, I am still interested in a variety of projects and opportunities.
While some may feel that it is in their best interest that I not remain in broadcasting, I do not share in that belief at this time.”

Is it just me, or did Ross basically just ask for a job from TNA at the end there?

I appreciate the fact that JR wants to keep broadcasting, hell I’m in favor of it. But if he IS seriously considering leaving the company I had to say it would be a bad move.

Let’s assume for a second that JR did jump to TNA for a broadcasting gig. Would he replace Tenay? Would he join Tenay and Tazz and form a 3-man team? Between him and Tenay, who would play the guy being ashamed of everything the heels do? Would one of them have to just call the match while the other says things are disgraceful?

It doesn’t seem like a good situation to me, unless TNA is ready and willing to simply kick Tenay to the curb (which would be pretty shitty of them, especially if they’re trying to distinguish themselves from WWE).

Oh but wait, all you folks who are all excited over this prospect forgot one thing – he’s still employed by WWE.

Read his post again carefully, his “talent” deal has expired, but he is still under contract from the administrative side of his job. Either way he’s stuck in his office job for the time being, the only real unknown for the immediate future is whether or not Ross can convince Vince that he belongs behind the booth again.

I personally really hope that Vince reconsiders keeping him off the air. They still apparently don’t trush Grish to call matches on PPV, Lawler is well past the point of useful by now, and Cole is good for little more than endless catch-phrases. A commentary team of Jim Ross and Matt Striker alone calling matches on PPV would be better than anything we’ve seen from WWE in the past few years.

Tara Leaving TNA

Earlier this week, Lisa Marie Varon (aka Tara aka Victora aka that lady with the restraining order against Sforcina) officially announced that she was parting ways with TNA Wrestling when he contract expires. She made the announcement on her MySpace blog, complete with emoticons and lots of exclamation points!!!!!!

“Hey Gang!!!

It’s been a while since I’ve posted a blog. I’m more into the daily updates. But the following is too long for an update.

It appears that I’m winding down at TNA. Unfortunately some organizations “leak” information to wrestling websites to put their spin on a situation, to make sure they come out in the best light. Not me. I’m gonna say it. I’m gonna put my name on it. And I’m going to stand behind it.

I came to TNA last year because I still had a lot of wrestling left in me. I was paid a fraction of what I thought I deserved. But I wanted to show I was still at the top of my game. Now my contract is up in May. I want a modest pay increase. They don’t want to pay me what I think is fair. I have no problem going my own way.

But about 12 hours after the conversation where we didn’t agree on pay, unnamed sources claim that I am hard to work with and that I don’t give my best effort. My only response is that TNA made an aggressive effort to re-sign me, among other things saying that they want to build the women’s division around me. And I think wrestling fans see, both on TV and at live events, that I always give 100%. I take pride in that. Smearing me on the way out the door is an act of second rate character.

I take pride in making my best effort to elevate my own wrestling and the entire TNA Women’s Division. If people were rubbed the wrong way in the process, I stand behind my work and my positive intentions.

In closing I will say this. In the few weeks that I have left in TNA, I will be the same wrestler that you have seen for the past ten years. After that, I haven’t decided if I will stay in wrestling, or finally make the jump to MMA. I do have a lot of irons in the fire. We’ll see where life takes me. But wherever that is, there’s gonna be competition, and I’m gonna give it my all.

Thanks For All Your Support!!!

Later Taters, Lisa Marie Varon : ) ”

While I haven’t really enjoyed her run in TNA, I’ve always been a big fan of her days as Victoria and am sad to hear she is leaving. It’s a shame WWE completely wasted her after she wrapped up her initial psycho-bitch angle…

She went from biting Stacy Keiblers fingernails off to shimmy-shakin’ to techno music?
Really? REALLY.

Anyway, in a perfect world I’d like to see Ms. Varon pull a Christian Cage and jump back to WWE. Will it happen? If she’s been watching WWE for the last year or so, probably not (thanks a lot, Gail). If she did come back, she’d probably go back to jobbing to the blondies just like the good old days.

Rumor has it she might try her hand at MMA, maybe she’s still sour about that cheap shot from Kim Couture that never amounted to anything.

At any rate, best of luck to your Lisa, sorry to see you go!

Chyna is a Bad Friend

A friend of former WWE “individual” Chyna was allegedly attacked earlier this week by the she-beast after doing nothing more than stopping by for a visit.

The alleged victim claims that Chynga basically beat her like a scalded dog, slapping her, punching her in the face, beating her with a hanger, and threatening to kill her. Basically she hit this woman but everything except the green rockets from her bazooka.

Wah wahhhhhhhhhhh….

So far Chyna hasn’t been formally charged of anything, but can anybody really say they don’t buy this story as possibly being 100% true? Sure it’s just one woman’s word, but have we seen Chyna do ANYTHING since leaving WWE that would lead us to believe she WOULDN’T go crazy on somebody for looking at her sideways?

Between a sex tape with X-Pac, doing interview after interview in which she calls Stephanie McMahon the antichrist, and seeing how many different drunks she could take while filming “The Surreal Like”, Chyna has not had the best few years.

I hope I’m wrong and that she didn’t actually beat the ever-loving shit out of this woman, but if this is true I’m honestly, sadly, not surprised in the least.

Your Thoughts?

There were quite a few requests last week for the &1 to be wrestling-related. Being the benevolent dictator that I am, I have decided to grant this request. So here you go, I leave you this week with…

Layla El