USWA Championship Wrestling (3.3.1990) Review

-Originally aired March 3, 1990.

-Your host is Michael St. John. He promises that we’ll be seeing wrestling from “anywhere in the world” and promises that coming up next week, we’ll have action from the Sportatorium. You know, that building we see literally every week.

KERRY VON ERICH, JEFF JARRETT, & SUPERSTAR BILL DUNDEE vs. JERRY “The King” LAWLER, TERRANCE GARVIN, & BILLY JOE TRAVIS
-That’s a doozy of a show opener. We’re joined in progress, with Michael promising that words can’t explain what we’re about to see.

-Travis is punching away on JJ, who’s bleeding and having trouble seeing. Lawler tags in and just jabs JJ, pretty much at will, and drags him over to the camera to give us a better look. The director doesn’t cut to that camera because that would be too exciting.

-Garvin tags in and applies a claw, and in a great scene, he releases it just to admire all of Jarrett’s blood on his hand. Travis tags in and stomps away at JJ. Kerry Von Erich comes in to help but Von Erichally screws it up, and JJ gets thrown out to the concrete while the referee is dealing with Kerry. Kerry goes to the floor to help JJ and that leaves Dundee alone, so the heels triple-team him until Kerry steps back in to help. JJ desperately climbs back into the ring but immediately gets thrown over the top rope and onto the concrete, for what we’re told is the third time in the match. Referee gets distracted again while the heels hit a spike piledriver on Kerry. And since a regular piledriver was treated like death in this company, a spike piledriver is also particularly not good.

-Heels are now triple-teaming Kerry while Jeff Jarrett staggers back to the locker room, apparently to get medical treatment, and commentator Percy Pringle is so concerned that he personally goes backstage just to check on Jarrett…and Jeff Jarrett returns with a trash can and a wood Coca-Cola crate and just unleashes all his fury on his opponents, and now Billy Joe Travis gets a turn to bleed all over the place. He retreats to the floor and Jarrett drills him with a chair, and all six men brawl back to the locker room to give us some unfinished business, hopefully to be resolved at a house show in my area. GREAT segment!

-The Southern Rockers are here, and apparently for the moment, they have the Tag Team Titles again, and they’re headed to Evansville to face Rockin’ Randy and the Dirty White Boy.

-Back to the Sportatorium, where Billy Joe Travis and Terrance Garvin come to ringside for an interview, and Travis is wearing boxing gloves. He challenges Buster Douglas to a wrestler vs. boxer match and puts up $50,000 if Douglas accepts, which is enough money for Jerry Jarrett to buy WCCW 100 more times. Garvin cuts a funny promo, where he a brags about how badly he beat Dundee at a house show last night, and Lowrence calls out every word of it as a total lie.

-Terrance Garvin tries to sit in on commentary since Percy Pringle never returned from backstage, and an argument erupts as Marc Lowrence makes it emphatically clear that he’s been barred from the commentary table.

BILLY JOE TRAVIS vs. RAY EVANS
-Travis offers a handshake, but Evans is too smart for that. Travis, for no particular reason, retreats to the corner to sing “Lucille” and strum his guitar. And the referee sees what’s coming a mile away, so he stops Travis from taking a swing with his guitar and makes him actually wrestle.

-Evans punches Travis and shoulderblocks him down as Garvin will not shut up about the challenge to Buster Douglas, which, in another promotion, would be a hint that they’ve signed Buster Douglas for a match, but here it just makes them look bush league.

-Travis throws Evans to the floor and gives him a backbreaker, and Travis grabs the mike and demand that Buster Douglas get his ass down here and fight him. Back in, Travis suplexes him and grabs his guitar again, but the referee’s not having it. Travis settles for throwing Evans out to the floor one more time. Travis grabs the mike and tries to start a “Billy Joe” chant himself, but the fans turn it into a “We want Jeff” chant. Travis keeps hammering away and getting frustrated with the crowd.

-And suddenly Garvin gets the hell away from his commentary post and he’s running for his life around the ring. Bill Dundee is out there attacking him, but Travis steps out there to help his buddy, and in an awesome visual, Garvin has his own custom-painted pink folding chair and uses it to knock out Dundee. It’s 2 on 1 until Jeff Jarrett hits the ring, and the forces of good clear the ring.

-Jeff Jarrett is out here next, as apparently there were only six seats in the van to bring people to this TV taping. He warns Billy Joe Travis that he’s got friends to watch his back.

“Simply Irresistible” JEFF JARRETT vs. DAVID HINKEL
-So now Dutch Mantel sits in on commentary. The jobber is wearing biking gear instead of actual tights, so Nike gets a free plug during this match. Jarrett makes short work of him, finishing with a missile dropkick.

-Dirty White Boy and Rockin’ Randy promise a massacre in Evansville on Wednesday when the Southern Rockers put their belts on the line.

-Rockin’ Randy.

TICO TORREZ & JIMMY JACK FUNK vs. STEVE AUSTIN & JEFF GAYLORD (with Skandar Akbar)
-Oh, hey there. Austin bears an uncanny resemblance to Dan Spivey and has one hell of a physique. Unexpected moment on commentary as Dutch and Marc mention that his real name is Steve Williams but he’s going around telling people he wants to be called Steve Austin now.

-He locks up with Funk and Funk unexpectedly heaves him out to the floor with some force, and Austin ends up with a legit nosebleed. Shouldn’t be a problem, Austin’s not much of a bleeder. Gaylord steps in the ring and tries to start a rumble, but the faces clear the ring. So Gaylord tags in proper and Funk works the arm over while Skandar Akbar goes to the babyface corner and makes Torrez yet another offer to join the dark side. Torrez ignores him.

-And then Tico tags in and gets beheaded by a clothesline from Austin. Austin opens up a Chef Boy-ar-dee single serving plastic tub of whoop-ass, because it’s still early in his career. Gaylord tags in and stupidly whips Tico into his own corner, and JJ Funk lights into Gaylord and suplexes him. Funk tags Tico back in, which I’d call a lapse in judgment, and Gaylord picks up right where he left off, beating on him and sending him to the floor. Skandar Akbar slaps him around out there, which raises the ire of Funk, and we have a brawl on the floor and a brawl in the ring, and Gaylord wipes Tico out with a Tiger Tackle (forearm off the top rope) and gets the pin, with JJ Funk being late to make the save because he was preoccupied. Oh, he’s totally turning heel now, this is going somewhere.

SOUTHERN ROCKERS (Tag Team Champions) vs. JAMES RAFT & DOG OF WAR
-Joined in progress with a double dropkick by the Rockers. Dog of War (how about THAT name?) gets knocked around when he steps in to complain. Rex King bodypresses Raft for a two-count. Steve Doll tags in and suplexes him, and Raft FINALLY tags out and brings in Dog of War, who ends up looking like the Dog of Wharrgarbl and gets double dropkicked out to the floor. Double DDT on Raft finishes for the Southern Rockers.

7.1

The final score: review Good

The 411

Awesome first segment plus a touch of wrestling history. This week's a keeper!