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Views from the Hawke’s Nest: MLW Summer Apocalypse

May 28, 2015 | Posted by TJ Hawke
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Views from the Hawke’s Nest: MLW Summer Apocalypse  

August 22, 3003
St. Petersburg, Florida


B-Boy & NOSAWA vs. The SAT (Joel Maximo & Jose Maximo)

The teams were going back and forth at the beginning. Nosawa and B-Boy eventually cut off Joel and worked him over. Joel managed to tag out, but Jose then got cut off and worked over. Strange match. Joel eventually made a hot tag. He hit an Asai Moonsault onto everyone. The match broke down. The SAT eventually finished NOSAWA with The Spanish Fly: 1…2…3

The structure of this match was a bit odd at times, but there was enough entertaining action to keep me into it throughout. Strong effort from all four guys.

Match Rating: ***


Mana vs. Richard J. Criado

This was an extended squash for Mana. It was not interesting.


Jimmy Yang vs. Sonjay Dutt

Dutt got the first advantage after hitting a couple of ridiculously athletic movez. Yang came back after connecting on a big kick. Dutt managed to come back after applying an Octopus Stretch. Yang reversed it into a backbreaker though and went back to working over Dutt. Dutt made yet another comeback. He could not put Wang away. Wang even kicked out of the Dragonrana. Wang then immediately came back and finished him with the corkscrew moonsault.

This was a poorly-executed version of a WCW cruiiserweight match. It was disjointed to a distracting degree, as the match had no ebb or flow. Some of the movez were  genuinely spectacular, but that alone does not make for a great match.

Match Rating: **1/2


Mikey Whipwreck (w/ The Sinister Minister) vs. Tony Mamaluke

Mamaluke hit an early tope suicida. Whipwreck ended up getting the advantage on the floor though and then worked him over in the ring. Mamaluke briefly cut him off before Whipwreck came back again. He hit the Whippersnapper, but Mamaluke kicked out. Mamaluke came back again. The Minister crotched him though, and Whipwreck then finished him with a top-rope Whippersnapper.

Much like the last match, this suffered from a lack of structure. It just felt like an endless series of comebacks. It was fine and watchable. It just was not particularly good.

Match Rating: **1/2


B-Boy & Monsta Mack vs. The Samoan Island Tribe (Ekmo & Samu) [Falls Count Anywhere]

Ekmo is the future Umaga.

The Samoans got control immediately. They proceeded to destroy Mack and B-Boy for a long-ass time. As the plunder got involved, Mack and B-Boy were fighting back a bit more. Ekmo did a kip-up at one point. I miss Umaga. He then did a Superfly Splash that put B-Boy through a table on the floor. That gave the Samoans the victory.

This was a glorious squash with the Samoans being over as fuck. Umaga really started to look great during the final moments of the match. He was a great wrestler.

Match Rating: ***1/4


CM Punk (w/ NOSAWA) vs. Raven [Straight Edge Rules]

2003 was arguably the best year of Raven’s career, right? I’m judging that just based on what I’ve read, but it seems to have been an exceptionally strong year for the man.

Punk explaining that “Straight Edge Rules” essentially means that the rules of a wrestling match will actually be enforced. The crowd was a big fan of homophobic chants for this match. Chasyn Rance was made the referee for this match. I’m guessing that’s going to play a major part in this match. Rance prevented Raven from using a chair and sending Punk into a turnbuckle. While the ref removed the chair, Punk hit Raven in the balls to cut him off. He then worked Raven over for a while. He broke the Straight Edge Rules whenever he got a chance. Raven came back after Punk accidentally hit himself in the head with a chair. Raven went to use a chair, but the ref took it away. Raven was working his ass off and made for a great babyface. The problem was that the fans wanted Raven to kill him with plunder. Raven hit the Raven Effect, but the ref pretended to be too injured to count. Punk then schoolboyed Raven: 1.2.3! Super fast count.

As far as middle chapters go for a wrestling feud, I enjoyed this quite a bit. It made Punk more hated and Raven more sympathetic. When the match is labeled “Straight Edge Rules,” you definitely should expect a screwy finish.

Match Rating: ***



Francine & Michael Shane vs. GI Ho & Norman Smiley

I have not seen a Norman Smiley match legitimately since I was but a wee lad watching Nitro. I’m beyond excited. Cagematch says this is the only match of GI Ho’s career.

Norman looked awesome doing a sequence with Shane. Ho and Francine did the terrible catfight spot. Shane went to attack Ho, but Norman made the save. Norman assaulted Francine until Shane gave him a superkick. Francine handcuffed Norman to the ropes. Shane then put Ho through a table with a Superfly Splash, as Norman screamed from the ropes. Shane pinned her for the victory.

As far as angles go, this was terrible and eye-rolling. As far as Norman Smiley goes, he looked incredible in the ring. I must watch all of his matches ever.

Match Rating: 3/4*


Homicide vs. Jerry Lynn (w/ The Sinister Minister)

Lynn was actually the heel here. I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen Lynn work heel before. I definitely do not remember it if I’ve had though.

Homicie was a step ahead of him early on and hit his tope con hello. The Minster had to interfere to get Lynn the advantage. Homicide came up selling his neck after an elevated DDT. Lynn worked Homicide over after that. Lynn did not do a great job working on top. Homicide finally managed to come back after hitting the Cop Cutter. Homicide dropkicked the Minster after he interfered. Homicide gave Lynn a bulldog on the bell for a nearfall. Homicide caught Lynn with a pinning combo to pick up the win.

This win gave Homicide a full-time spot on the MLW roster.

Lynn attacked Homicide after the match.

This match was awkward to experience. Lynn just did not make for a great heel, and I’m not eager to check out more of his heel work in MLW.

Match Rating: **1/4


The Extreme Horsemen (CW Anderson & Simon Diamond) (c) vs. Steve Williams & The Sandman [MLW Global Tag Team Championship]

Dr. Death!

CW was YOUR heel in peril early on. The Horsemen fought back quickly enough and worked over Sandman. This doesn’t seem like a match that should be worked as a straight tag. Unless you want it to be boring. In which case, this is the perfect match for normal tag rules. Dr. Death made the hot tag. The Horsemen fought back, but PJ Freedman hit CW with a chairshot. Just casual babyface interference for no reason. A mysterious masked man saved Diamond after a Dr. Death backdrop driver. CW hit both of his opponents with superkicks and then finished Sandman with a spinebuster on the chair to retain the titles.

This was honestly much better than it had any right to be. The wrestlers did not look good at all mind you. It was structured very well though, and it hit all the right beats. If the interference didn’t play such a big role in the finish, I would have liked this even more. All in all, the traditional tag structure for this match was desperately needed for such a trainwreck-style show.

Match Rating: **3/4


Christopher Daniels (w/ The Sinister Minister) vs. Sabu (w/ Bill Alfonso) [Spike Match]

Sabu supposedly had a broken arm.

Daniels got control early on, and he worked Sabu over for a while. Sabu used a chair to come back. Daniels cut him off again though and went right back to working him over. Daniels hit a pair of BMEs, but Sabu kicked out. Minister told him to get the spike. Sabu took the spike away, but Daniels got the Koji Clutch. Sabu used the spike to escape. Daniels went to put Sabu through a table, but Fonzy provided a distraction. Sabu hit a DDT and then hit an Arabian Facebuster. Sabu punched out the Minister. Mikey Whipwreck showed up and tried to throw a fireball. Fonzy blocked it with water. Sabu spike Daniels and put the spike in his eye until Daniels submitted.

This is one of those matches that is put together well in theory, but the execution was boring as piss. Sabu was a heck of a thing in his prime, but a lot of his matches just are not good. The look sloppy and have very little in the way of heat other than the pops for the sporadic highspots.

Match Rating: **


Jerry Lawler vs. Terry Funk [Bounty Match}

Lawler was the Extreme Horsemen’s “Bounty Hunter.” He still got a great pop coming out though. This was a major feud in the 80s. I’ve yet to see any of it yet sadly.

After cutting a promo to get the fans to stop cheering him, Lawler immediately got control of the match. Lawler hit a piledriver on the floor and then another on a chair in the ring. He followed it up with the diving fist drop. Apparently the Extreme Horseman had injured Funk’s neck recently when they hanged him! Funk made a comeback after throwing Lawler into a chair. He hit a piledriver on the floor of his own. And again. The ref got Funk to return to the ring while Simon Diamond handed something to Lawler. Lawler then hit him with barbed wire. Lawler got control again by going after Funk’s face with the wire. Funk fought back and there was a terrible cut. All of a sudden, we were back in the ring with Funk firmly in control. Lawler got a pin with his feet on the ropes out of nowhere to pick up the win.

CW Anderson and Simon Diamond attacked Funk after the match. The Horsemen didn’t pay up to Lawler because Lawler only beat him. They claimed Lawler didn’t hurt him enough. This caused Lawler to turn on them. He gave them both a stunner. The mysterious masked men showed up again to make the save. Joey Styles claimed it was obviously Steve Corino. After some bickering, Lawler and Funk eventually settled to work together to beat up the Horsemen. A second masked man showed up. Dr. Death and The Sandman made the save. Lawler and Funk went back to fighting each other. “You piece of shit. I don’t want you helping me.” Terry Funk is a great man. “I’ll never forget my eye.” Sandman tried to get them to drink and make up. The Horsemen then challenged them to a War Games. Lawler says he hates Funk, but he’s willing to tag with Funk for that match. Funk eventually agreed as well. Lawler capped off the night throwing a full beer can at the heels. You watch that War Games match here.

The terrible cut in the action makes this nearly impossible to rate. The performances were obviously strong overall. Lawler and Funk did not move around too well here, but they compensated that with some passion and intense brawling. The post-match stuff between Lawler and Funk was the most interesting part of all this. Funk especially shined there, as it was completely believable that he would harbor such strong feelings of hatred of Funk while still agreeing to team with him when it was all said and done.


Watch MLW for free!

Homicide vs. Low Ki

Terry Funk vs. Steve Corino (Barbed Wire)

War Games

The final score: review Poor
The 411
I've now watched two MLW shows and have yet to be impressed with the company in any form. I'll give them some credit for putting together loaded rosters for theirs shows, but that does not mean much when most of them get put in a position to fail. This show is up for free on MLW's Youtube channel. It's honestly not worth watching as far as I am concerned.