wrestling / Columns
Wrestling’s 4R’s Tuesday Edition – 10.28.08: TNA Impact, WWE Smackdown and Cyber Sunday!
I don’t have a lot to say other than this is the 300th edition of the 4R’s, and I just wanted to say thanks to all of you readers for making that possible. I remember being excited hitting 30 editions, so I never thought I would get this far way back then. So thanks to you for keeping the column popular by clicking every week, and thanks to Nick Marsico, Geoff Eubanks and Jeremy Thomas for their work with me over the years on the column.
ON WITH THE SHOW!
How the 4R’s of wRestling Work!
Here is a quick explanation of the 4R’s. The column will run TWO times a week. On Tuesdays I will discuss TNA Impact and any PPV’s, while my partner in crime Jeremy Thomas discusses WWE Smackdown. The column will run again on Friday’s, covering WWE Raw, with Jeremy Thomas as well as ECW on Sci-Fi by myself. If there is a PPV that weekend, I will also run the RETRO R’s of the show from the year before as well as address some comments when time permits. I will group my feelings on the shows in various categories: The Right, the wRong and the Ridiculous. The Right is stuff that worked very well: a great promo, a great match and so on. PuRgatoRy is a section between the right and wrong. It shows equal traits from both sides that cannot be ignored and need discussed. It is not a bad place per say, as things can get remedied or go the wrong way the very next week. The wRong is what it sounds like: bad matches, bad or boring promos and so on. The Ridiculous is stuff that had no right on TV: Stupid angles, Diva searches and so on. And there is always a possibility of a 5th R, which is as bad as they come, unless you are TNA. They have a special R all of their own, the 6th R; the Russo-FN-Riffic~! This column is supposed to be analytical, and at the right time very critical of the shows, it was the whole reason it was created. This is not a “mark” column, nor a “smark” column, my goal is to analyze the show from many different fronts, reward the good and call out the bad. I will not apologize for my opinions, they are as they are, whether positive or negative.
In HD where available…
By: Larry Csonka
iMpact! 10.23.08:
Ladies and Gentlemen, The Main Event Mafia…RESPECT!: TNA took a large step forward this week in terms of laying out the “veterans vs. TNA originals” feud as they have firmly established the “heel” group and also have named them. The story was that Angle wanted to trump the announcement of Foley’s with one of his own. He made some calls, and one at a time we were introduced to Booker T (RESPECT), Kevin Nash and then Sting. They all took turns (RESPECT) explaining their reasons. Booker (RESPECT) was all about being respected; Nash was all about getting revenge (RESPECT) on Joe for his disrespect to Hall. I loved that they had Sting in his “Real Estate Steve” suit and looking (RESPECT) all proper and better than everyone. They are the Main Event Mafia, and right now I am down with this. One thing I think they should do is run with that Sting look. While he is making more of an effort to be a heel, I feel if they everything the people know about Sting, which is the face paint and the scorpion tights, that it would go a long way. Keep the singlet top and work some baggy pants ala Nash for the bottoms and keep rolling with it. Take away anything that the people connected with and that will help. PLUS, that allows you to go BACK to the Sting look for the eventual turn back to the face side before he retires.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Booker T – Legend’s Champion: Drink it in people…
While I do not think that TNA needs a new title, I actually like the idea of Booker T holding this gimmick title. In a nod to the Million Dollar Championship or even the FTW title, Booker T has had a title created for him, and what a title it is. It’s old school with the red leather like the one version of the NWA Title, but over the top like the Million Dollar Title with all of the stones and the like. It IS a new title, yet it isn’t and right now it is a good way to bridge the gap. Also, people have said that they do NOT want Booker in the World Title scene, but they also have said that he needs something to do. This accomplishes both. And we may have also got the answer as to Christian Cage’s future this week as well. Cage would come out to the ring, offended that Booker would create his own title, mock him a bit with some Little John references and then lay out a challenge for the title. Booker would accept, but only is Cage took his stipulation, which was if he lost that he had to join the Main Event Mafia. I liked the segment, I liked the unveiling of the title and right now I think this could work well, IF the booking keeps up and stays simple. I saw that someone already linked this to the “lWo/Eddie/Rey Mysterio Jr.” angle, and that’s a good one to look to. I am more than willing to see where it goes.
Angle Wants Another Piece of JJ: As it was made clear last week, the battle between Kurt Angle and Jeff Jarrett is far from over. Angle once again came to the ring this week and threatened a visit from Uncle Kurt to the Jarrett kids (sup Pedo, I’m just sayin) and then demanded that Jarrett be a MAN a come to the ring. Jarrett has explained that he was tricked into losing his temper and getting back in the ring. This week I liked how Jarrett claimed that he didn’t need to be in the ring anymore, and that he was willing to pass the torch and that maybe Angle should as well. Jarrett explained that TNA was all about guys like AJ, Joe, Lethal and The Machine Guns while Angle claimed that he WAS TNA. This led to Jarrett saying that he was not fighting, but that there was a locker room full of guys in the back that did. Abyss appeared in the ring, and after a short battle Angle escaped. It looks as if TNA is trying to be smart about this, and not rush into the next Angle vs. JJ match right away. If that is the case, Abyss will be a fine bridge to use until they get there. The beat down last week plays well into Abyss wanting revenge, and honestly, Angle and Abyss have good chemistry and I think that they can have another good match. I just hope that the think that gets Jarrett back into the ring is a GOOD reason, a simple one; and not something completely ridiculous.
Tag Team Hard Rock Hardcore Text-Off Gauntlet Non-Title Match: Team 3D vs. Beer Money w/Miss Jackie vs. LAX vs. Matt Morgan and Abyss: For a good part of this match, it was a good gauntlet match. It featured guys working hard, hitting their trademark stuff and overall a good layout. But then Abyss was the last man out and it went to shit because no one knew what was going on. They got down to the last few guys with Abyss coming out, but no one knew who was left. They were mainly brawling on the floor, they teased the flaming table spot and then Abyss got tossed. That left us with 3D and Beer Money, which I guess was fine but to get there it was such a confusing few moments that it took away from the fun that was the early part of the match. I hate these tag gauntlet matches because 9 times out of 10, the final segment is under two-minutes, like this time, and it just kills the flow. It went from a ton of fun to confusing bullshit on like 3.4 seconds, which is unfortunate.
TNA Knockouts Title Match: Taylor Wilde © vs. Awesome Kong w/Saeed: Kong was set to challenge for the Knockouts title, and honestly I think it was time to make the switch here. Kong is over as a killer, and while Wilde has done well she hasn’t really been the hit many, including myself thought she would be. It was a really good match, for the time given, which unfortunately is a TNA theme these days. Again the problem I have with the match is that it was too short for a “competitive match.” They hyped the match last week, they wanted to make it a draw on the show (as one of the title matches) and then they give it four minutes. When you constantly do this with title matches, you devalue the titles. Not quite as bad as the travesty that was the X-Title match, but not exactly great either.
The Main Event Mafia (Kevin Nash and Sting) vs. Samoa Joe and AJ Styles: I really liked the announced main event for this week’s show. Not only was it a match with star power, but also it fed perfectly into the main angle for the company. Also, while people are complaining about Joe and AJ losing, well, they had to lose. The feud is beginning and it has to go somewhere. If Joe beats Nash already, then they have nowhere to go. Nash screwing Joe, once again with the belt instead of for the belt works great. The beat down afterwards was also solid stuff and overall they are off to a strong start with the feud. That all being said, there were some issues I had here. First of all this only got 4-minutes after the commercial break. This was supposed to be a BIG main event for the show. They hyped it being live, in HD and this was a match that was to be an attention grabber. Old school names that people knew, new names from TNA; it was designed to attract a new viewer. Well, a four minute match doesn’t show anyone jack or shit to make them want to stay. Seriously, you need to give the guys time to work and without that time, people cannot get emotionally invested in them. Streamline, less segments and then take that time and let the important stuff flow without being rushed.
23:00: I’d like to think we all know the drill by now. TNA is supposed to be the alternative, they try to be different, and they claim to be the wrestling promotion. So I am their conscience, their wrestling stopwatch. Each and every week I keep track of the time of wrestling on the show, and discuss it here. We got some more wrestling this week, unfortunately most of it wasn’t that good or was just there to be a lead in for an angle. Matches can tell a story as well, but they aren’t allowed to on Impact. And please, CUT DOWN ON THE NUMBER OF SEGMENTS! If you extend the matches, you don’t have to run so many damn segments that end up not meaning that much. Streamline baby, streamline…
Christy Hemme vs. Velvet Sky w/Angelina Love and Cute Kip: I love the Beautiful People as an act, even with Kip in there. But Sky is not good in the ring. They run this angle last week out of nowhere, which makes Hemme out to be a baby face. I just don’t get that right now. When the Rock and Rave return, will THEY go face or will they break up? Why are we wanting to get Hemme into the wrestling side of things? She isn’t very good, at all. Lots of questions there. But they started the show with this “match,” which is felt was not the way to kick off the show. In the end this was a waste of time and not only was a bad opener, but took time away from matches that needed the precious time. BULLSHIT.
Well, Foley Tried to Change the Face of Wrestling…: This one is short and sweet. To close the show they promised a declaration to rock the world of wrestling, and well, this didn’t. Mick Foley is essentially going back to commissioner Foley in a playoff of the Ric Flair buying into the WWF angle. I don’t hate it because “they ripped off WWE” or anything like that. But it feels too been there and done that, as well as a big let down. Also I feel that the segment fell flat with Foley mocking Vince and then basically saying, “Oh hey Kurt, you’re kind of a dick, but its cool if you work here.” Disappointment central.
TNA X-Division Title Match: Sheik Abdul Bashir © vs. Jay Lethal : This…this right here was some major league bullshit. It wasn’t just bullshit because it was a match they hyped all week. And no it wasn’t just bullshit because it was a 2-minute TITLE match. It WAS bullshit because it was a match they hyped all week, that happened to be a TITLE match that the #1 contender had to survive the entire division just to get the shot. Seriously, they have Lethal get the win at the PPV in the Steel Asylum, where as I said he had to survive the entire division. He is then hyped as the #1 contender last week and then they announce for the SPECIAL, LIVE and in HD IMPACT that he would try to win the title once again. I knew Bashir was going to win the match. I didn’t even have a problem with him winning the match clean; because even the heel champion needs the occasional clean win. But I absolutely HATED that they put this 2-minute match out there and acted like it meant something. If they insisted on doing all of the backstage stuff, then they shouldn’t have had this match. BETTER YET, why wasn’t that bullshit that was Hemme vs. Sky booted off of the show. Those two chicks are HORRIBLE and they got 3-minutes. Seriously, that is time that these guys needed. You ax that, kill off one backstage segment and BAM the X-Title match has at least 7-minutes. Instead they insult our intelligence and waste our time with what was in the end, nothing but bullshit. Oh, and I forgot, Jay Lethal looked like a complete jobber there as well.
TNA’s Director and Production need to get a LOT better now that they are in HD: I think that if you have read the R’s for any amount of time, you’ll know that I have had a very hate/hate relationship with not only the director but the overall production of TNA at times. Too many camera cuts, making cuts to non-action, missing pinfalls and catching the WRONG thing. It seems to happen all too often with them, and at the beginning I could see some growing pains, but when you’re over 6-years old and have an experienced director, there is a time that the excuses have to end. The first problem I had id that I really disliked the set up for the JOINT last Thursday. I have seen numerous shows there by the UFC and WEC, and they do a much better job of set up than TNA did. TNA decided to light the entire place, I mean this shit was lighter than my wife’s classroom; which is equipped with special “OTT Lights” and makes it feel like a “clean room.” With the set up of the lighting, they made the place LOOK small and like it only held a few hundred fans. Now the JOINT is SMALL and DOES only hold a few hundred people; but when properly lit and set up with a hot crowd you’d never know that. Unfortunately I feel that this made TNA look very minor league, and that’s a shame.
Now when WWE went to HD, they told the “entertainers” to make sure that the work was snug and that they didn’t call spots as loud because the HD would expose this. Besides some light work at times, the director should be SHOT for cutting this during the main event beat down:
SERIOUSLY? Great work guys. You were live and it was the HD debut, but you can’t let shit like THAT get by.
SHOW RATING: (**½) It wasn’t the abortion some are making it out to be, but it also wasn’t the “big time event” that they were going for or needed to deliver here. One step forward and three steps back should be the motto, not cross the line.
By: Jeremy Thomas
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen! I’m more than happy to be covering the SmackDown R’s for you on a regular basis. Why is this? Well, besides the fact that I’m too full of snark to just be able to let it out on one wrestling show a week, there’s always the fact that I’ve got on official reason to tune in and watch Maria and Michelle McCool on a regular basis. Of course, I predict that several of you will lambast Larry for his work on these R’s, so let me just preemptively say…
“I’m not Larry. Thanks for reading though!”
Now, onto your regularly scheduled ranting. Enjoy the ride!
WWE SmackDown 10.24.08
THE COLONS vs. CHAVO GUERRERO & BAM NEELY: First off, I’m going to bitch about the fact that this was a non-title match. Non-Title matches should only be used, generally, for a reason. I’m a firm believer in the idea that the more defenses a championship gets, the more credibility it has. I’d rather see Shelton Benjamin defend the title against Ryan Braddock, Super Crazy, and other such people with no heat each week then see him defend it against MVP once every four months. Same with the tag titles—particularly when you’ve booked the champs to win. Now, with that said, it’s a fairly minor complaint, and it’s just nice for the ‘E to get the belts on TV; it’s more respect than the belts have been given in forever. I will say it’s nice to see Primo developing on SmackDown alongside his brother. I had originally been writing him off in his generic style and burial entrance on Raw, but he’s making a nice little team with Carlito, who seems to be doing okay now that he has a Tag Team Title reign to keep him motivated. This was a quality little match that was given enough time to develop. It may not have been the greatest tag team match in forever, but it got the Colons a win. It also built up the Bam/Chavo break-up, which may not be the best thing for Bam but I feel will do good things for Chavo. All in all, there’s not much to complain about here.
THE UNDERTAKER vs. TRIPLE H: The main event of the night was described by JR to have “big” feel, and he wasn’t just whistling Dixie. The feel was significant, with two of the top names on SmackDown—hell, in the ‘E—going at it. Their individual entrances were both longer then the Kendrick/Crazy match, which is both sad and cool; say what you will, but extended entrances to help add to that “big fight” aura a match can get. Once they got into the ring, they had a classic, old-school brawl. As much as people love to bitch about the two, ‘H and ‘Taker are two guys who can always turn it on in the ring, and when they get in there against each other you’re usually going to see something special. This was a well-paced, high-impact match that really showcased the best of what SmackDown has to offer. There are times when the much-reviled “WWE Main Event Style” is done perfectly and everything clicks; this was one of those times. Now, it goes without saying that I hated the ending. Not that I didn’t expect it. Really, we hadn’t seen anything that promoted the second-biggest SmackDown match at Cyber Sunday, so you just knew that Show was going to make an appearance and interfere in the match. It did its job, and Kozlov got to crush HHH to boot, but it still was a downturn on what was an amazing match.
EPIC OPENING OF POINTLESSNESS: SmackDown got off to a rollicking start with Triple H making his way down to the ring. He wanted to know if everyone was as sick of Vickie Guerrero as he was. I vote yes, for the record, although for me, it IS the grating voice and the wheelchair. I will buy into the “annoying hag” part, though. For HHH on the other hand, it was that she kept trying to tell him what to do. After a couple cracks about Vickie, including a funny but harsh comment about how she was going to be grazing on Twinkies for the next couple hours, he moved on to talk about his opponent tonight, The Undertaker. The H-Man kept his comedy routine going for a bit while still getting across the message that he had to try to destroy the Undertaker for Vickie tonight or ‘Taker would be destroying him. And that would be robbing the fans of their votes—like 99 cents a vote wasn’t robbery enough.
Before the H could continue, Jeff Hardy’s music came and the Day-Glo Warrior made his way to the ring. God almighty, but those girls love him. Jeff pretty much threw it in the Game’s face that he was going to win the popularity contest and probably even win the title. They used Jeff about as well as they can when it calls upon him for mic work…keeping it short and sweet. I mean don’t get me wrong, he’s not Evan Bourne bad by a long shot…point of fact, he’s not even really bad, he just comes off exactly as he is…a guy trying to make the most of his main event opportunity without quite having the full package to back it up. I had simply hoped that in the amount of time that he’s been in the main event area that he would have gotten a few pointers and stepped up his game in that respect. But like I said, it wasn’t long before he got interrupted in favor of Vladimir Kozlov, who said that in America, you pick challenger…but in Soviet Russia, challenger picks you! Okay, not actually what he said, but close enough. The ‘H said what everyone was thinking, that they couldn’t understand what the hell Kozlov just said, and then Pedigree’d Day-Glo. This was an okay segment to open up the show and sell the big match on the show, and got everyone out there. My big problem is that it didn’t actually do anything to build them up or advance any storylines, either on the show or otherwise. You can argue it advanced the match at Cyber Sunday, but there is a huge-ass difference between reminding the fans that there is a match and building to it. This didn’t offer the fans any new reason to buy the show, unless watching Jeff eat a Pedigree inspired anyone to plop down forty bucks they otherwise weren’t going to—it just vaguely entertained. I expect something more out of my opening segments, particularly if they’re going to run ten minutes long.
KUNG FU NAKI & R-TRUTH vs. SHELTON BENJAMIN & MVP: The first thing I have to say about this match is the utter hilarity of R-Truth rapping his way to the ring. Not that he’s a bad rapper or that there’s anything funny about it. But did anyone else notice all the rhythm-less middle-aged white men who were acting like they were ‘bout it ‘bout it as Truth made his way to the ring? I think that is the official sign that you’re starting to get seriously over. Of course, nothing beat the hilarity of Kung Fu Naki making his way to the ring with his new entrance music. I know, I know…normally I shit all over the comedy crap, but let’s face it here. Funaki wasn’t doing anything of significance anyway, so they might as well toss a little comedy on him, a man who’s proven he can handle comedy well (EVIL, INDEED!) to give him a chance to get a little over with the crowd. This is, of course, building off MVP’s “can’t get a win to save his life” storyline, which is NEVER a good thing. I said it before regarding Kaz once…I hate these kinds of storylines, because when you set your wrestlers up as guys who can’t get a win, then the crowd is going to buy into that and it destroys their credibility rather than building it. The match itself was pretty good, with everyone getting some good offense in, although I was surprised that R-Truth didn’t get hurt by the sloppy way he took MVP’s toss out of the ring. The match ending was really silly as well…so we have three people in the US Title hunt, and the one who ISN’T gets the win with a move that looks about as effective as Scotty 2 Hotty’s old Worm. At the same time, I can understand the booking as it doesn’t let any of the US Title contenders have an advantage over the other. This was a comedy match from start to finish, and while I have a lot of issues with it, the end result is that it advance some stories, kept the US Title feud going and gave Funaki something to do. I’m holding judgment on all of this until it plays out further.
MICHELLE McCOOL & MARIA vs. MARYSE & NATALYA: This was apparently, if the pre-match video had anything to say about it, stemming off Maria winning the Number One Contender’s “Fuzzy Dice on a Pole” match . About now is when I start to consider drinking and wonder why I agreed to cover SmackDown. Anyway, as the women came down—Maria and Michelle were looking incredibly hot of course, while Maryse and Natalya just a wee bit less so—we got our weekly Hurrapop, which allowed good ol’ Shane Helms to destroy his credibility and set himself up as a joke before he even gets back. Great! Now, immediately you can see reasons why the Diva’s division on SmackDown is less respected then Raw’s Women’s Division.
No, besides just that. Michelle and Maryse seem to really be picking it up in the ring, Natalya’s always been good, and Maria…well, she looks hot, but it’s not like we saw her actually wrestle, so it worked fine. But it boils down to two things. One, while Michelle and Maryse are getting much better in the ring, they’re having issues getting their characters down. Frankly, they look like they’re having too much fun. These two have been feuding for a while; they shouldn’t be looking like they’re about to giggle and bust into a pillow fight. Second, they see perfectly fit to bust up these matches with stupid crap like Jesse and Festus the Mariachis, creating a new level of stupid and allowing the heels to win because Michelle was going for the tag. It makes Michelle look like even more of a chump champ then the Diva’s Champion already is. I’m willing to go a ways to give them the benefit of the doubt on this since it looks like it may turn into a Michelle heel turn, but that benefit is only going to go so far, and that’s not as far as this took it tonight.
THE COLONS GET SOME BAD BRIE; KHALI KISS-CAM: I’m lumping this all together because the segments all kind of melded into one. First off, Primo was hitting on Brie Bella, who seemed to be entirely receptive before Carlito came in to step all over his game. Brie left after the brothers started arguing in Spanish, but seemed more than happy to see Primo later. The two kept arguing before being interrupted by Festus, the mariachi band, and Maria. Later in the show they saw Brie again, and Carlito gave Primo a show, but she was having none of it. MISTAKEN TWIN IDENTITIES ONOZ! Khali showed up and had to tell Primo (through Ranjin Singh of course) that Primo had no game on the way to the ring for his Kiss-Cam. Fucking great. Now, I don’t know what’s more disturbing—the idea that Khali has gotten thousands of love letters, or JR saying that they had good taste. Now, as much as I find these segments a stupid way to take Khali, I’ll give the big guy credit for playing it up. He’s obviously having fun with this, and so kudos to him. What I again have an issue with is the fact that this segment lasted almost as long as the opening segment. If they want to do this pointless crap, they can feel free, just don’t let it take up this much time and I’ll stop bitching as hard.
THE BRIAN KENDRICK vs. SUPER CRAZY This match was a follow-up to last week, when Super Crazy was supposed to face Kendrick but instead found himself on an ass-beating at the hands of Big Zeke. Crazy came out hot and controlled the early moments with some sound offense, but TBK took advantage of the ref trying to pull Crazy back and took control. Sliced Bread #2, Bam, Pinfall, Over. You know, I bitch a lot about how bad short matches are on Raw, and I don’t feel any better about them just because they’re on MyNetworkTV. There was no time to tell a story here; there wasn’t even any time for them to build Kendrick up. He didn’t dominate the match, he only got two moves on and Crazy controlled the rest of it. If you’re gonna build up your talent, ‘E, then BUILD THEM UP for Christ’s sake. This was, very clearly, NOT building them up. Kendrick is a guy with an amazing upside, but they’re not going to get him over in crap like this.
KIZARNEY: Izi fizucking hizate stizupid stizyles izof tizalking. Izi gizet thizat hize izis plizaying izoff hizis nizame. Izit’s stizill dizumb izas hizell. Thizere izis bizetter wizays izof bizuilding iza gizuy thizen thizis. Bizut hizey, izit’s bizetter thizen Dizoph Ziziggiler, Izi gizuess.
Annoying to translate, wasn’t it? Yeah, I thought so too.
SHOW RATING: (**)As good as the main event was, it can’t carry a show that was otherwise full of filler to just make the show two hours and carry us to Cyber Sunday. The matches were generally better then Raw this week, but there was too much silly time-wasting crap to make this one worth the time spent. Catch the main event if you haven’t already, the rest is easily skippable.
Jeremy Responds to Comments!
Wrong – The opening match on Raw because a) Kelly Kelly got the win and the undeserved push continues for the zero talented most bland and most bland looking diva in the WWE. Katie Lea didn’t get any entrance music and was completely overlooked again despite being easily the best participant in the match. And the lack of the Burchill second name, means Paul might well be finished, when a man loaded with potential like him should be getting a hefty push.
Right – Priceless beating down Cryme Time, as it meant that I didn’t have to put up with JTG. Shad you’ve got a chance of doing well in the WWE, but you’ve got to get rid of your tag team partner ASAP, he totally brings you down.
Posted By: Billy Ashcroft (Guest) on October 24, 2008 at 02:38 AM
Kelly Kelly’s actually managed to gather together more credibility at this point then Katie Lea or Jillian—after all, she has a couple wins over the champ—so I don’t mind her going over so much. I absolutely agree that Katie’s getting criminally overlooked, but you have to accept certain things or you just start giving yourself an aneurysm. I just want to know what Paul did that was so wrong that he’s fallen out of favor. I guess that’s what happens when you agree to be Fickly Vince’s testing ground for pet project gimmicks. As far as JTG goes, I think he’s the less talented of the team, but he’s not worthless. The ‘E has a lot worse people on their roster after all (Deuce and Snitsky, I’m looking at you two).
Why is Jeremy Thomas trying to imitate Csonka? Has he no originality. Csonka is the worst “writer” on this site so Jeremy really needs to watch who he steals ideas and catchphrases from. What a douche.
Posted By: Please stop (Guest) on October 24, 2008 at 06:36 AM
I’m not actually trying to imitate anyone. The truth of the matter, of course, is that I am merely a genetically-modified clone of Larry and it goes against the very nature of my chromosomes to do anything unique or original.
Or, possibly, you, much like the people who condemn Larry for my Raw stuff, can’t seem to tell the difference between two distinct and different writers and thus lump us together…although really, I should say that I appreciate the compliment that people keep mistaking me for Larry. Thanks for reading!
Your little chain of “tag teams who looks better than other tag teams” makes no sense. Cryme Tyme got beat down by three people. Three on two. Simple math trumps silly “but now they look better than Kofi and Punk!” convoluted logic chains.
Posted By: Ian (Guest) on October 24, 2008 at 09:11 AM
The problem with this theory, Ian, is that Manu has yet to show he’s worth anything at all. The man hasn’t even competed in a match on his own yet, and has been booked so far to be completely irrelevant other then “that guy who looks like the guy from The Mummy.” At this point, it’s barely a step above Paul London running in on a match in terms of how much impact it should have. I totally understand your point, but it will be a little more valid to me when they show that Manu’s going to be anything more than a hanger-on.
Larry, I think you have a bias for TNA.
I just notice how you’ve actually gone from being overly critical of Impact to actually giving RAW no credit.
Dare I say that you’re too smarky for your own good sometimes.
I see that you don’t like John Cena very much, especially when you put a video package that is hyping his return into the Ridiculous section, when it isn’t meant to be anything more than hype. To a normal fan who doesn’t spend most of their time on wrestling boards or spoiler sites, it was just showing that John Cena has recognition outside of wrestling and when he comes back, it’ll be a big event to see.
I’m not even that big of a Cena fan. I mean I like the guy, don’t get me wrong, but I just think you’re really reaching on some of these segments.
Posted By: hmm… (Guest) on October 24, 2008 at 11:32 AM
First, I wrote that, not Larry. Thanks for paying attention. Second, I’m actually a Cena fan, and if you’ll notice, I even gave props to the Cena segment last week. But when third-rate celebrities (Jonas Brothers, volleyball chick, Menounos) and ones who have no connection to him (Stiller) are talking him up, it just comes off as desperate for attention from Hollywood. I maintain that the more the ‘E tries to court the mainstream media, the stupider they look.
Mr. Csonka, thank you for saying EXACTLY my thoughts about the main event this week on RAW. You hit every nail right on the head. I felt like most of the show was pretty good (especially Santino) until the main event, which was horrendous. I am so sick of Batista being pushed down our throats. At least Cena and HHH have charisma and can work. Batista is just Lex Luger 2008 (and I’m not even sure he’s that good).
Jericho was completely berried, Regal was unbelievably berried, Henry was semi-berried, Kane was semi-berried. It made the entire roster equation look like Batista>everybody. Weak.
Posted By: Brian (Guest) on October 24, 2008 at 08:58 AM
Well, I’m not Larry, but thanks for the props, Brian. I don’t think Batista has done anything bad enough to be considered Lex Express ’08, but I don’t think that he deserves to be in the running for the title. You’re dead on with everyone getting buried at Batista’s expense. Thanks for reading!
~WWE CYBER SUNDAY 2008~
By: Larry Csonka
The Matches:
ECW Title Match: While Matt Hardy stated on ECW TV that he wanted to face Mark Henry for the title, he made a push on his personal BLOG for his fans to vote for Evan Bourne. Well, it worked because Bourne won with 69% of the vote, because that’s how he rolls. Bourne has been impressing people for months now on ECW TV, but the last two weeks have been a real coming out party for him. He started with a great match against Chavo, where Chavo called a great match to not only make it competitive but also to get Bourne over, which he did. Bourne followed that up with a good performance against Henry and Finlay this week on ECW TV and then finally got his chance to shine on WWE PPV. Once again Bourne brought his “A-Game” and he worked hard, and wrestled his style. Hardy, much like Chavo called a good match and in the end we not only got a good match, but Bourne wasn’t hurt one bit in the loss. If I had one complaint, and this is one of those quirky personal things so stick with me here, it was that they played it too straight, too face vs. face. Usually when you have a match like this, one person goes slightly heel (like HHH vs. hardy later in the show) but that didn’t happen here. Matt is more experienced and was leading the match, he should have known this and made a bit more of an effort to lay that slight heel to balance with Bourne’s underdog character. That’s just a small complaint and in the end it didn’t hurt the match at all, but I do think that it could have helped it a bit.
Last Man Standing Match: After last month’s surprisingly good match with Taker and Show, they had a chance to follow it up again this month. Last Man Standing, I Quit, or Knockout Match were the options, and the “WWE UNIVERSE” selected Last Man Standing. In my opinion the match is both a curse as well as an opportunity. Sometimes with the Last Man Standing match we get too concerned with the drama of the count, and it gets tedious and boring. With no near falls in a match of this kind, sometimes the crowd dies with all of the counts unless the match is booked properly. This match was good shit, I mean I was INTO this match. Two heavyweights just out there kicking ass and they did so very well for 20-minutes. They played the stipulation well, everything meant something (no PLUNDAH for the sake of having it) and they just have a good chemistry. We got the table spot, we got the use of the chair, Show used the KTFO punch and Taker busted out the GOGOPLATA once again, which led to the finish. After a good match at No Mercy, I felt that both guys picked up their game here and delivered the best match on the card, just edging out HHH vs. Hardy. It is amazing that Taker is having such good matches at this age, and with a variety of opponents (Batista, Edge, Show). Again this was good stuff right here and I want to see where it is going from here.
WWE Title Match: When it boils down to it the Cyber Sunday concept is a popularity contest. If you expected Jeff hardy to lose this vote then you are a fool. He was either going to get in the one on one match, or we were getting the three-way match. The Hardy’s are funny, because no matter how much they lose or get BERRIED, they are still mad over, and Jeff’s 57% here showed that as fact. I have to say that this was another good match from these guys, they just work very well together. Jeff knows that it isn’t enough to do what he has been doing, and went to using 2-3 of his signature moves; unfortunately the repetition caught up to him in the end. I will say that this was a notch below what they have been doing, but that isn’t a bad thing at all. If they ever go back to the plan of putting the title on Hardy, they now need to sidetrack him for a bit and give him something new to conquer until he is ready to get back on the road to challenge HHH for the title. They seem to be working a good story with Jeff, whether he can keep on the straight and narrow or not and actually cash in on the chance is another thing completely.
World Title Match: The World Title match ended up being a good match, not great, to close the show. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but the match was just missing something. Bourne vs. Hardy had the underdog theme, HHH vs. Jeff had the story and they played off of past matches and Taker vs. Show was a brutal slugfest that built to a good climax. But this match lacked, it missed something. Maybe it was that I knew Jericho was about to lose with Austin as the official, I don’t know, but this was a good match and both guys worked hard. While I hate that they took the title off of Jericho already, I think that they did it the right way and for the right reasons. Jericho and HBK have unfinished business and don’t need the title to feud over. Batista was getting a reputation for choking in the main event, ala Lex Luger and needed the win as vindication. Jericho kept saying that he was going to be screwed, and well, he was screwed in the end. He is protected in the loss, Batista gets the win he needed and it worked. Everything else worked clean on the show, so with this being the one match with the ballyhoo finish it worked. For those that say I grill TNA for doing this, I do because they do it for SO MANY MATCHES and on the same show at times. On this show everything was clean and worked so that the run in stuff not only made sense, but wasn’t overdone. Again, I am not a huge fan of the switch because I was digging Jericho as the heel champion, but they did it the right way I feel.
The Miz and John Morrison defeated Cryme Tyme: You know that your tag team scene is total shit when the tag team champions, former world champion and former IC champion, that all run on the A SHOW do NOT get voted in for Cyber Sunday, ouch. Now truth be told Cryme Tyme IS over huge, and Morrison and Miz are awesome so it didn’t surprise me that they got into the match, but damn, it doesn’t speak well for Punk, Kofi, Rhodes and DiBiase. With that all being said, this was a pretty good match. It started off very strong but faded a bit down the stretch. Miz and Morrison looked good and Cryme Tyme is over, but they just don’t hang that well in long(er) matches. That is something that needs to change if they if they want to get past the level that they are currently at. The decision for Morrison and Miz to win was also the right call. They are working towards them to face DX on one of these three hour Raw’s that is coming up, so they have to get some wins and have some credibility so that DX can take it away.
No Holds Barred Match: Kane vs. Rey Mysterio was the opening match on the show. In theory this was a good plan as both guys are guaranteed to get a reaction and are currently in a feud. These are the things you look for when you choose the opening match. But the bottom line here is that this match didn’t deliver. The match was slow, it didn’t flow well, the work wasn’t that clean and in the end I felt that they didn’t make good use of the stipulation. It was No Holds Barred and they barely used the gimmicks they were allowed. You have to use the stipulations you’re given to the fullest. I didn’t want random shit that meant nothing, but this was supposed to be a feud of hatred, and it came off as a mild brawl. Let’s just hope that this feud is over and that we don’t have to deal with this feud any longer.
IC Title Match: I knew that this would be mainly played for comedy, and I guess I had no issue with that. I hate it to a degree because I have to sit here and watch the IC Title mean less and less each week. Some have no issues with that, but it does bother me. Also I knew that the “match” wouldn’t be much of a match, due to Goldust being shit, Piper having a gut and well, well Honky was actually the best opportunity for a decent match. But I knew all of this going in, still, the fact was that Santino, the guy on the roster and holding the title should have won here. Cheating or wacky finish he should have won. Unfortunately he lost, via DQ. And actually that wasn’t what got me so pissed, what got me pissed was at how SHITTY the DQ was. They go for a minute, do the trip from the outside and THAT is how they ended it? Really? REALLY? What shit.
NONE
Overall I will go with a 7.9 out of 10 for the event and a recommendation to check it out. Maybe it was that I didn’t set any expectations for the show, but I rather enjoyed the event. The last three matches were very strong and I thought were a great close to the show. HHH, Show, Taker, and Jeff showed up again for this show, and Matt Hardy as ECW champion has worked well in back to back PPV’s. What I disliked wasn’t horrible and overall Cyber Sunday was worth my time.
–ROH RESPECT IS EARNED II {8.8}
–WWE WRESTLEMANIA {8.7}
–ROH RISING ABOVE {8.6}
–ROH UNDENIABLE {8.5}
–ROH TAKE NO PRISONERS {8.3}
–TNA LOCKDOWN {8.2}
–WWE NO WAY OUT {8.1}
–TNA BOUND FOR GLORY {8.0}
–WWE UNFORGIVEN {8.0}
–WWE ROYAL RUMBLE {8.0}
–WWE CYBER SUNDAY {7.9}
–TNA VICTORY ROAD {7.9}
–ROH NEW HORIZONS {7.8}
–TNA SLAMMIVERSARY {7.7}
–TNA HARD JUSTICE {7.6}
–WWE NO MERCY {7.5}
–TNA AGAINST ALL ODDS {7.5}
–WWE SUMMERSLAM {7.4}
–TNA NO SURRENDER {7.3}
–TNA DESTINATION X {7.2}
–WWE BACKLASH {7.0}
–WWE ONE NIGHT STAND IV {6.8}
–TNA FINAL RESOLUTION {6.75}
–WWE NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS {6.7}
–WWE GREAT AMERICAN BASH {6.1}
–WWE JUDGMENT DAY {6.0}
–TNA SACRIFICE {6.0}
–(WWE WRESTLEMANIA 24) CAREER THREATENING MATCH: Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels *****
–(WWE UNFORGIVEN) UNSANCTIONED MATCH: Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho ****½
–(WWE SUMMERSLAM) HELL IN A CELL: Edge vs. The Undertaker ****½
–(WWE WRESTLEMANIA 24) WORLD TITLE MATCH: Edge © vs. The Undertaker ****½
–(ROH NEW HORIZONS) Bryan Danielson vs. Tyler Black ****½
–(ROH TAKE NO PRISONERS) ROH WORLD TITLE MATCH: Nigel McGuinness © vs. Tyler Black ****½
–(ROH RISING ABOVE) ROH WORLD TITLE MATCH: Nigel McGuinness © vs. Austin Aries ****½
–(ROH RESPECT IS EARNED II) ROH TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: The Age of the Fall (Jacobs and Black) © vs. Bryan Danielson and Austin Aries ****½
–(TNA LOCKDOWN) TNA WORLD TITLE MATCH: Kurt Angle © vs. Samoa Joe ****½
–(TNA VICTORY ROAD) (World X Cup Semifinal Elimination Tag Match) Curry Man, Alex Shelly and Chris Sabin vs. Puma, Yoshino and Milano Collection AT vs. Rey Bucanero, Averno and Ultimo Guerrero vs. Williams, Dux and Kozlov ****½
–(ROH TAKE NO PRISONERS) Bryan Danielson vs. Austin Aries ****¼
–(ROH UNDENIABLE) GRUDGE MATCH: Austin Aries vs. Roderick Strong ****¼
–(WWE NO WAY OUT) RAW ELIMINATION CHAMBER ****¼
–(WWE NO MERCY) WORLD TITLE LADDER MATCH: Chris Jericho © vs. HBK ****¼
–(TNA HARD JUSTICE) LAST MAN STANDING MATCH: Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles ****¼
–(TNA BOUND FOR GLORY) Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett ****
–(TNA AGAINST ALL ODDS) TNA WORLD TITLE MATCH: Kurt Angle © vs. Christian Cage ****
–(TNA FINAL RESOLUTION) TNA WORLD TITLE MATCH: Kurt Angle © vs. Christian Cage ****
–(WWE ROYAL RUMBLE) The Royal Rumble Match ****
–(WWE NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS) WWE TITLE MATCH: HHH © vs. John Cena ****
–(WWE NO MERCY) WWE TITLE MATCH: HHH © vs. Jeff Hardy ****
–(WWE CYBER SUNDAY) LAST MAN STANDING: The Undertaker vs. The Big Show ****
–(WWE ONE NIGHT STAND) TLC: The Undertaker vs. Edge ****
–(WWE GREAT AMERICAN BASH) Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels ****
–(ROH RESPECT IS EARNED II) FIGHT WITHOUT HONOR: Erick Stevens vs. Roderick Strong ****
–(ROH NEW HORIZONS) ROH WORLD TITLE MATCH: Nigel McGuinness © vs. Claudio Castagnoli ****
–(TNA No Surrender) (Ladder of Love Match) Sonjay Dutt vs. Black Machismo Jay Lethal ***¾
–(TNA VICTORY ROAD) (Full Metal Mayhem – Six-Man War Match) AJ Styles, Christian Cage & Rhino vs. Kurt Angle & Team 3D ***¾
–(TNA SLAMMIVERSARY) TNA X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH: Petey Williams © vs. Kaz ***¾
–(TNA FINAL RESOLUTION) TNA NO-DQ WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH: Gail Kim ©vs. Awesome Kong ***¾
–(TNA LOCKDOWN) LETHAL LOCKDOWN: Team Cage vs. Team Tomko ***¾
–(TNA AGAINST ALL ODDS) HARDCORE STREET FIGHT: Team 3D and Brother Devine vs. Black Machismo and the Motor City Machineguns ***¾
–(ROH UNDENIABLE) ROH WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Jay & Mark Briscoe © vs. The No Remorse Corps ***¾
–(ROH RISING ABOVE) ROH WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH – 2 of 3 Falls: Jay & Mark Briscoe © vs. The No Remorse Corps ***¾
–(ROH RESPECT IS EARNED II) ROH WORLD TITLE MATCH: Nigel McGuinness © vs. Go Shiozaki ***¾
–(WWE CYBER SUNDAY) WWE TITLE MATCH: HHH © vs. Jeff Hardy ***¾
–(WWE NO WAY OUT) SMACKDOWN ELIMINATION CHAMBER ***¾
–(WWE WRESTLEMANIA 24) WWE TITLE MATCH: Randy Orton © vs. John Cena vs. HHH ***¾
–(WWE BACKLASH) WORLD TITLE MATCH: The Undertaker © vs. Edge ***¾
–(WWE WRESTLEMANIA 24) MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH: Chris Jericho vs. MVP vs. John Morrison vs. Carlito vs. CM Punk vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Shelton Benjamin ***¾
–(WWE JUDGMENT DAY) HBK vs. Chris Jericho ***¾
–(WWE SUMMERSLAM) John Cena vs. Batista ***¾
This is a little added deal I started last year, as I feel that there are some other things that should be mentioned from the PPV’s. Not every PPV will have one, it just depends on who I think steps up and deserves some extra recognition.
–ROH RISING ABOVE: Nigel vs. Aries (Stealing the Show)
–TNA FINAL RESOLUTION: Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong (Making us Care about Women’s Wrestling on the National Stage)
–ROH UNDENIABLE: Strong vs. Aries (The Grudge is Settled)
–WWE ROYAL RUMBLE: John Cena Shocks the World (No One Saw it Coming)
–TNA AGAINST ALL ODDS: Black Machismo Saves the X-Division (He is a Superman)
–WWE NO WAY OUT: Taker Eliminates the Competition (Elimination Chamber MVP)
–TNA DESTINATION X: Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong © vs. ODB (Stepping up Again)
–WWE WRESTLEMANIA XXIV: Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels (Thank You Flair)
–TNA LOCKDOWN: Angle vs. Joe (Great Build, Great Delivery)
–TNA SACRIFICE: Roxxi gets a Haircut (And makes the ultimate sacrifice…)
–ROH TAKE NO PRISONERS: Tyler Black (Becoming a Star at 21)
–WWE ONE NIGHT STAND: The Undertaker (You Crazy Fuck)
–TNA SLAMMIVERSARY: Kaz vs. Petey (Stealing the Show)
–WWE NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS: HHH (Silencing the Critics)
–TNA VICTORY ROAD: Alex Shelley and Yoshino (Stealing the Show)
–WWE GREAT AMERICAN BASH: Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels (The Art of the Story)
–ROH RESPECT IS EARNED II: Tyler Black (Stealing the Spotlight …Again)
–TNA HARD JUSTICE: AJ Styles and Kurt Angle (Last Man Standing)
–WWE SUMMERSLAM: Hell in a Cell (Edge and Taker do it again!)
–WWE UNFORGIVEN: Unsanctioned (Jericho and Michaels Deliver Again)
–TNA NO SURRENDER: Sonjay Dutt and Jay Lethal (Making Chicken Cordon Bleu out of Chicken Shit)
–ROH NEW HORIZONS: Tyler Black and Bryan Danielson (Just Doing What They Do Best)
–WWE NO MERCY: HHH, HBK, Jericho and Hardy (Hey ROH New Horizons, Great Idea, Double Main Event Delivery)
–TNA BOUND FOR GLORY: Angle vs. Jarrett (You Don’t Want Any Part of This Pain…)
–WWE CYBER SUNDAY: The Undertaker and The Big Show (The Big Guys Can Go)
And I’m out of here!
