411’s WWE Raw Report 06.12.06

In Memory of John “Earthquake” Tenta. Nice touch.

Paul Heyman is here!

Heyman: Good evening ladies and gents – my name is Paul Heyman and I represent ECW. Let me clear up the controversy. Even though Edge interfered in the match there is nothing wrong with that. Even though two referees were knocked out. Even though I counted 1-2-3 – this match was done under ECW rules. Therefore the decision stands. RVD is the new WWE Champion. Here’s where it gets interesting. Tomorrow night on the Sci-Fi channel is the ECW premiere. On that very show tomorrow night the WWE Title will be rechristened the ECW Championship. Now RVD is going to be a fighting champion and ECW does recognize Edge as the #1 contender so RVD will defend the title against the #1 contender, Edge at Vengeance. So, ECW would like to extend an invite to Edge and Lita to join us tomorrow night as ECW debuts on Sci-Fi. Now ladies and gents, let me introduce to you – the new champion….Rob…Van….Dam.

RVD: That’s Rob…Van…Dam.

RVD spins the belt.

RVD: E-C-W.

Spin again.

Cue Raw intro, cue thousands of screaming fans, cue pyro – this is Monday Night Raw! Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler are here! They tell us Triple H will take on the entire Spirit Squad and Cena will face off with Edge.

**Randy Orton’s music hits**

Randy Orton makes his way to the ring for the next match.

**BOOOOOM**

And making his way to the ring, weighing in at 320 pounds, Kane.

Match 1: Randy Orton vs. Kane

Mmmm…I wonder how this one will end? Orton staggers away from Kane. Kane misses a right and Orton lands one. Orton still weighing Kane out. Kane misses a right and Orton gets another one. Kane is pissed and throws Orton into the corner. Back elbow by Orton. Rights from Orton on Kane. Big uppercut to Kane. Orton stomps away on Kane who is down in the corner. Irish whip by Orton is reversed, Kane ducks his head, and gets a big hard kick. Athletic dropkick by Orton sends Kane to the mat. Orton poses a bit, and Kane sits up. Orton off the ropes and he gets a big right boot from Kane. Orton thrown into the corner and Kane is on the attack with some rights. Kane whips Orton across the ring to the other corner and follows it up with a big clothesline. Kane backs off and comes in with a head of steam and lands a splash type move. Orton saunters out to the middle of the ring and Kane lands a sideslam. Kane heading to the top rope, but Orton is up and he meets Kane at the top with some rights. Orton heads to the top and is looking for a superplex! Kane headbutts him off, though. Kane is up on the top now and he comes off with a big clothesline. Kane calling for the chokeslam! Goozle! Orton into the ropes, though, and he hangs on to the middle rope. Kane follows up and lands a big boot which sends Orton to the outside. Kane is pounding on Orton up the ramp. Orton fighting back now as Mike Chioda continues the count. And he’s at 10 now.

DOUBLE COUNTOUT (3:38)

Orton and Kane are continuing to fight up the ramp. Orton weighs Kane for the RKO, but Kane pushes him off. Kane’s music plays and the Fake Kane is here. Both Kanes pounding away on each other. The Fake Kane locks in a GOOZLE! And so does the REAL KANE! The Fake Kane breaks the hold with a rake of the eyes. Big uppercut and Kane falls off the ramp and the table doesn’t give one bit! Hahaha….don’t be misled by the CAPS – it wasn’t that exciting.

Ad Break

**Charlie Haas’ music hits**

Charlie Haas makes his way to the ring. They show last week when Charlie knocked Lilian the HELL out! He’s not looking too excited. Lilian looks on with her left wrist in a cast type thing.

Haas: You know in this business sometimes you make mistakes. You all saw the mistake I made last week because of my carelessness someone truly innocent got hurt. So I’d like to ask Lilian Garcia to please come into the ring right now.

She does.

Haas: Lilian….I’m horribly sorry about what I did last week. When I knocked you down off the apron causing you to hurt your wrist it was reckless, it was careless. You have to believe me when I tell you it was an accident, and I’m sorry. So – from the bottom of my heart will you please accept my apology?

**The world’s largest love machine……Viscera..**

Viscera makes his way to the ring, and he ain’t happy!

Viscera: You know I gotta admit Charlie – that was sweet. That was real sweet. And my lady Lilian here….she may accept your apology. But me….I don’t.

Vis hands Lilian the mic and clotheslines the hell out of Haas. Now he’s pounding on the back of Haas. Big slap by Vis. Vis sends Charlie into the turnbuckle and Haas hits the mat. Vis calling for some love making, makes a run at Haas, and squashes him. Vis off the ropes and he lands the BIG SPLASH! Vis smiles at Lilian, and Lilian is bewildered.

JR talks about last week when Triple H was supposed to join the Kiss My Ass Club, but of course – Triple H doesn’t kiss the boss’ ass. Never! They show it.

Coach is in the back getting the camera crew ready for Vinny Mac’s State of the WWE Address.

Ad Break

ECW premieres tomorrow night on Sci-Fi.

King talks about what transpired last night when he got choked the F out by Tazz. Then they show how Eugene got his ass handed to him by Sandman last night. God, that was sweet.

Eugene is in the back with a band-aid on his head. Eugene is talking to Jim Duggan in the back. He tells him that he’s worried about Duggan’s match with Umaga tonight. Duggan goes on and on about people that weren’t worried.

Torrie Wilsonwalks in the back. She has a wet and wild match tonight against Candice Michelle, I guess.

Vince McMahon stares into the camera.

Coach: Ladies and gentlemen – chairman of the WWE, Mr. McMahon.

Vince: Thank you and good evening. WWE is a promotional juggernaut. It is the most successful promotional juggernaut in history. The WWE has recently announced the recreation of a third brand, ECW – which premieres tomorrow night on Sci-Fi. ECW’s representative Paul Heyman made it very clear the we had a new WWE Champion. And his name is Rob Van Dam. But withstanding the recreation of this third brand there are other things I would like to discuss tonight. That is what happened to the chairman of the board last week on Raw. It is one thing to establish a Kiss My Ass Club and it is another for someone to drive me to the canvas thus exposing my ass in involuntary way. There are children that watch this show, and that is something I want Triple H to think about. When Shawn Michaels crossed my path I sicced the SS on Mr. Michaels and Mr. Michaels is no longer in action. Tonight Triple H must be taught a lesson, and once again I will use the SS to teach that lesson. What happened to Shawn Michaels was just too quick. Tonight is going to be slow. Tonight I’m going to dismember Triple H limb by limb until there’s nothing left in a Gauntlet Match. All five members of the Spirit Squad dismembering Triple H. Tonight after it’s all over I assure you Triple H will in fact be reunited with Shawn Michaels. On the Highway to Hell!

Ad Break

The following is the wet and wild water contest. Balloons, buckets of water, and water guns are all legal in this bitch. The winner will be on the WWE Summer Special mag.

**Torrie’s music hits**

Introducing first from Boise, Idaho – Torrie Wilson.

**Let me show what you love is….**

And her opponent – Candice Michelle.

Match 2: Candice Michelle vs. Torrie Wilson

Both women are in all white. The ref makes them start back to back. Torrie and Candice grabbing the guns and Torrie sprays first. This is horrible. Candice grabs hold of Torrie and slams her chest first into the balloons. Backbreaker by Candice. Candice puts some balloons down Torrie’s shirt and down her pants. Big splash from the top by Candice. Impressive. Cover gets 2. Candice throws a bucket of water all over the ref. Now she drags Torrie to the center of the ring and explodes a balloon all over her own tits. Candice misses an elbow drop. Dropkick by Torrie. Torrie sends Candice into the corner and land a big clothesline splash. Raise the roof. Torrie hikes up her panties, dumps water all over her ass, and stinkfaces Candice. Candice rolls to the outside. Candice is in front of King and JR, and Candice moves just in time and Torrie sprays JR. Back in the ring more water is being poured. Torrie with a face buster. And she gets the win.

WINNER: Torrie Wilson (3:18)

Torrie celebrates by whipping balloons at King and JR.

Trish Stratus was at the Canada Walk of Fame. Actually, she was the host. Trish and Pamela Anderson kissed. Trish might just be the hottest woman alive.

Up next is some exclusive footage from last night’s main event.

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We’re back and they show live footage from last night’s championship match. God, it was a fun match.

JR reminds us that Cena takes on Edge tonight. King goes on to tell us about the Triple H-Spirit Squad Gauntlet Match.

The Spirit Squad hype themselves up in the back. They talk about destroying Triple H. That’s NEXT!

Ad Break

**It’s time to play the game….**

Triple H makes his way to the ring.

**No chance that’s what you’ve got…**

Vince McMahon appears from the back with a microphone in hand.

Vince: Ok – let’s get down to business here. Hey look – it’s Triple H! The King of Kings. The Game. Look at him. What? In time pal…in time. Believe me – in time. Ref I think this audience is addressing you and that you suck so you can leave the ring. Get out – I don’t need you for this. I don’t want you for this. Triple H – before you meet your demise I want to personally remind you what I have done to Shawn Michaels.

They show when Shawn got played and broke his knee in half. That was three weeks ago. Seems like only yesterday.

Vince: That was way too quick. Your demise is going to take a lot longer, and we’re gonna start with Mikey!

**Spirit Squad music hits**

Vince: Get him Mikey, get him.

Match 3: Triple H vs. Spirit Squad

Mikey hits the ring and runs into a big ass clothesline. Mikey with a thumb to the eye and now he’s landing rights and lefts. Triple H reverses a whip and sends Mikey into the turnbuckle. Triple H lands a big clothesline. Triple H with a beautiful vertical suplex. DX CHOP – and a running knee drop to boot. D-X chants raining throughout the arena. Irish whip by Triple H, drops his head, and Mikey lands a big boot. Mikey off the ropes and a running knee by Triple H. Vince calls in Kenny. Vince with a big clothesline and now some rights by Triple H in the corner. Mikey tries to attack, but Triple H catches him. Triple H off the ropes and a face buster. Triple H goes for the pedigree, but Kenny attacks and lands some rights. Double team on Triple H now. Triple H chants. Triple H is worn down in the corner. Double irish whip and a double back elbow sends Triple H to the mat. Standing moonsault by Mikey (with help from Kenny’s hand). Double whip sends Triple H into the turnbuckle. Mikey off Kenny’s back and Triple H moves. Neckbreaker on Kenny! Mikey with a head of steam and Triple H elevates him up and over the top rope AND the ringpost! Spinebuster on Kenny! Johnny and Nicky called on now. Clothesline on Johnny. But the numbers game is catching up as Johnny Nicky and Kenny pound away on him. HBK chants! All three men stomping away on Triple H. Mikey has joined the group. Triple H rolls to the outside so the four members chase him. All four men send Triple H face first into the steel steps as Vince looks on with a smile. Vince says: “Teach that son of a bitch a lesson!” Mikey chokes Triple H out with some power cords. They roll him back into the ring now. More HBK chants!

They execute a four man parachute. Kenny heads to the outside and grabs a chair. Kenny wraps it around the left knee of Triple H. Vince says to hold on. Vince tells them “not on the knee – break his damn neck.” Kenny wraps the chair around his neck. Vince calls out Mitch. But Mitch just got THROWN through the entrance! Shawn Michaels is here!!! Vince can’t believe his eyes! SWEET CHIN MUSIC on MITCH! WOOOOO! Shawn makes a run for the ring! He’s taking out all four members! Triple H is up now and doing the same! The crowd is HOT! HBK and Triple H stare each other down! Sweet Chin Music to one member – PEDIGREE to another! Michaels and Triple H are screaming in each other’s faces! DOUBLE HIGH FIVE! DX CHOPS FOR EVERYONE!! HOLY SHIT – this is sweet! Michaels and Triple H are climbing the turnbuckles! Triple H up on the top turnbuckle, and HE MOONS Vince McMahon! Triple H and Shawn Michaels are embracing in the center of the ring! JR: “DX is BACK!” And they do the double pose!

NO CONTEST (11:46)

Oh…sweet mercy. I rarely get goosebumps while watching wrestling, but tonight makes the second night in a row!

Ad Break

We get another look at that AWESOME moment! The Spirit Squad is in the back with Vince. Vince says they are going to get rid of those bastards. At Vengeance all five of them will take on “the DAMN DX!”

**HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…**

Jim Duggan and Eugene make their way to the ring.

**Umaga’s music hits**

Weighing in at 350 pounds – Umaga! He is being led to the ring, as always, by Armando Alejandro Estrada.

Match 4: Jim Duggan vs. Umaga

Duggan attacks before the bell, but that is short lived as Umaga lands a big uppercut. Duggan whipped into the turnbuckle and Umaga follows it with a splash. Tree of woe, but Eugene is up on the apron and he takes Duggan down. Eugene hands Duggan the 2×4, but Umaga kicks the snot out of Duggan. Umaga grabs the 2×4. Hahaha! And he breaks the 2×4 over his head! Estrada calls for the THUMB of DESTRUCTION! And gets it! Cover and the pin.

WINNER: Umaga (1:32)

Eugene in the ring and checking on Duggan so Umaga starts to pound away on Eugene. Umaga locks Eugene in the ropes.

Estrada on the mic: In case you haven’t heard – my name es Armando Alejandro Estrrrrrrrrrraada! And Eugene – you big dummy….this is what happens to people who get in the ring with the Samoan Bulldozer – Uuuuuuuumaaaagaaaa! Get him, get him, get him!

Big butt splash to Duggan!

Ad Break

See No Evil crap. I’m pretty sick of it.

**Mick Foley’s music hits**

Mick Foley is here! Damn, he got messed up last night, folks.

Foley on the mic: Thank you – man, have I got some great news for all of you. It turns out that the blurry vision I suffered last night is going to heal up in about a week or so. As will all the lacerations I suffered last night. But most importantly, the old Mick Foley is back again. The cuddly guy, the human muppet – there’s a new chapter in my career and what better place to turn that chapter than right here at the University of Pennsylvania. What I’m trying to understand as I think about my efforts lats night at ONS. I think what you guys have to know is….

**WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…**

Ric Flair is BACK! Flair makes his way down the ramp!

Flair on the mic: WOOOOO!

Foley: Wait a minute – I gave you your entrance because of who you are and what you’ve done. What I don’t know is what the hell you are doing in this ring.

Flair: It’s because of who I am that you’re not going to say anything because I”ve been wanting to talk to you for three years. I don’t care about last night. I don’t care about anything you did last night including lighting yourself on fire. Tearing your body up with barbed-wire. Please, that means nothing to me. I want to talk to you about you and me. Ok? It occurred to me and I’ve heard that you have made innuendos about what I’ve said about your wrestling career. And God only knows I’ve wanted to come out here and say it for three years. I’m gonna say it. You guys like that? WOO! (WOO) You realize that my name is Ric Flair (WOOOO!). And around here there’s only one name that’s on an equal basis and that would be Joe Paterno. Joe Paterno, the Naitch – equal playing ground. So my friend I want to let you know this whole scenario about you standing up for the WWE – it’s just a bunch of crap. You wanted to bring back that wild west show – ECW – because that’s all you are. A glorified stuntman! And for ten years, ten years – guys like the Nature Boy Ric Flair, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, The Rock, Stone Cold, Undertaker, Kurt Angle have walked out that curtain to greatness. They have wrestled their way to greatness. Wherever I go people say to me – Ric Flair – you know the coolest thing I ever saw? What – me wearing that 16th title. They go no – Mick Foley going off that cage into a table at Hell in the Cell. That pisses me off. Brother – we bled, sweat, and wrestled our way to greatness!

Foley: That’s not what this is all about. That’s not what this is all about. Not whether or not I was a great wrestler. I know all about you – these people don’t care about you and Harley Race at the first Starrcasde. They don’t care about you and Steamboat in New Orleans. Hell, they’re too young to remember you and Terry Funk in 89. What bothers you wherever you go despite you being a limousine riding, jet flying, kiss stealing……..to my WWE fans – you will never be in the same league. You and your 10,000 dollar custom made suit. You still don’t live up to me! It drives you crazy, Ric – Woooo…..and you know more than anything else what’s really got you – what’s really gnawing at you is the fact that you can do nothing about it because the glorified stuntman in the ring could rip you apart like that!

Flair: Did you say – like that?!?!?

Ric rips off his coat and elbows his microphone.

Flair: Right now – say it! Take it..I’m looking you in the face!

Foley: I’ve got blurred vision! I could take you out like that! Just not now!

Mick on the outside now.

Foley: Ric…my eyes are so screwed up – I may mistake you for the wrong old guy and start slapping Joe Paterno around.

Flair: What do I gotta do? Throw some thumbtacks around the ring? Get a ladder, get a table, get a chair? I want your ass in this ring right now! Foley, Foley, Foley – you, your ass, right here now!

Foley: You don’t get my ass or any other body part here and now because I’ve got a challenge for you Ric. I’m not going to fight you in barbed-wire, you don’t have to sprinkle thumbtacks on the ground, you don’t have to grab a ladder – because I’m going to out wrestle you at Vengeance. Two weeks from tonight Ric in your hometown in Charlotte, North Carolina. And to make no mistake about it I’m going to do it 2 out of 3 falls!

Flair: After I wrestled Edge in that TLC match I woke up the next morning, and I said I want Foley! It’s ECW-WWE – Charlotte, by God, North Carolina. You’ve got it.

Foley: I’ll embarrass in front of your own home fans. The legend of Ric Flair will be done!

Flair’s music hits.

Flair: Do you hear that? WOOOOO! WOOOOOO!!

Ad Break

Shelton Benjamin has joined JR and King at the announcing table.

**MNM’s music hits…**

Johnny Nitro and Melina make their way to the ring! JR says that at Vengeance there will be a Triple Threat Match for the IC Title! They pause to watch Melina’s sweet ass get into the ring. It will be Shelton vs. Carlito vs. Johnny Nitro! Sweet stuff.

**I spit in the face of people who don’t want to be cool….**

And making his way to the ring from the Caribbean…..Carlito!

Match 5: Johnny Nitro vs. Carlito

Shelton explains away his loss last week against Carlito. He said some dust flew into his eye. Good stuff from Shelton this week. Carlito off the ropes and lands a shoulderblock sending Nitro to the mat. Arm drag by Carlito. And again. Carlito back off the ropes, Nitro ducks his head, and Carlito slams him down. Melina has Carlito’s apple, and Carlito wants it back. Nitro surprises Carlito with a baseball slide. Back into the ring they go. Nitro chokes out Carlito on the bottom rope. Melina up on the ropes and locks on a head scissors as Nitro distracts the ref. Neckbreaker by Nitro. Cover gets a two. Shelton calls Nitro an overachiever for snagging Melina. Front headlock locked in by Nitro. Carlito goes for a back body drop, but Nitro lands on his feet. Big knife edge by Carlito. Big left hands from Carlito. Whip sends Carlito off the ropes – springboard reverse elbow by Carlito. Lefts from Carlito. Carlito with a knee lift. Off the ropes he goes and lands a clothesline. Irish whip by Carlito and he lands a huge back body drop. Nitro wants a timeout. Nitro pulls down the top rope and Carlito falls to the outside. Shelton is up out of his seat now. Vertical suplex, but Carlito slides off and into the ring. Carlito goes for the lung blower, but Shelton held on to Nitro and Carlito whiffs. Nitro a move that I missed, and he gets the win.

WINNER: Johnny Nitro (3:18)

Todd Grisham is in the back with Mickie James.

Grisham: Last week on Raw Beth Phoenix was injured in her match with Victoria.

Mickie: I know…isn’t that the craziest thing? It’s weird that everyone that has a problem with Mickie James has the worst fate. Ashley – broke her leg and now she’s on Smackdown. And then Trish Stratus in her rematch for my WWE Women’s Title popped her shoulder out. What a shame! And now poor wittle Beth Phoenix has to eat all her food through a straw. And it’s a shame – I really liked Beth. We went to grade school together and high school together and now she’s gotten really, really mean. And now she broke her jaw. But I know one thing that will always love me, and that’s you (the women’s belt). Oh hi….

Randy Orton is here.

Grisham: What a pleasant surprise.

Orton: Everyone is talking about ONS from last week. Everyone is talking about the biggest upset in sports entertainment history – Kurt Angle beating me. I’m not the kind of guy to whine and complain. I’m not the kind of guy to say that it took a Herculean effort to come back early from my ankle injury. I faced Angle on ECW turf in an ECW ring. If he has any guts he will face me two weeks at Vengeance in a WWE ring following WWE rules. Now, Todd – you can help by spreading the word…..that Vengeance is my destiny.

Good stuff from both Mickie and Randy.

Ad Break

The Highlanders have another vignette touring a city, and they are coming to Monday Night Raw.

They show us what happened again earlier tonight when Triple H and HBK got back together and seemingly reformed DX.

They run down the Vengeance card…..

Shawn Michaels and Triple H vs. The Spirit Squad
2 out of 3 Falls Match: Ric Flair vs. Mick Foley
Triple Threat IC Title Match: Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito vs. Johnny Nitro
WWE Title Match: Rob Van Dam vs. Edge

Maria is in the back and is welcoming someone, but Lita appears and takes over the mic. Lita introduces Edge.

Edge: Very, very good introduction. Thank you baby. It’s an introduction for a man who changed the industry recently. I defeated three supposed ECW superstars – I think that’s an oxymoron – at ONS. I single-handedly cost John Cena the WWE Title. And at Vengeance, I will beat RVD for the WWE Title. You doing anything tomorrow night?

Lita: Nah, I can’t think of anything.

Edge: I think we should accept Paul Heyman’s invitation and show up tomorrow night.

Lita: I think that’s a good idea.

Edge: But first John Cena – I want to let you know that from here on out you will never see the WWE Title again. Becuase you are looking at the next WWE Champion – the Rated R Superstar!

Stevie Richards, Justin Credible, and Balls Mahoney are making their way to the ring. They are being stopped by security, but Stevie shows that he has a ticket.

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We’re back as the camera continues to show the ECW folks.

**You think you know me…..**

Edge and Lita make their way to the ring for this match, and it’s currently 10:03 PM CT. What the hell? The ECW guys clap for Edge.

**Cena’s music hits…**

John Cena is here!

Match 6: John Cena vs. Edge

Cena attacks before the bell! He is pounding away on Edge. Edge is taking off up the ramp. Cena slams Edge’s face into the stairs. Back in the ring, Cena is landing right hands and right foots. Lita in the ring and she hops on the back of Cena. Edge is taking off. Cena is following and Credible and company are on the attack. Cena is taking out all three men. Steel chair to Stevie and now Credible and now Balls, balls, balls, balls, WOOOOOAH BALLS! Boos from the crowd!

Cena on the mic: At One Night Stand – I got an awakening as to how E-C-W does business. According to them, hell….anybody can show up. And when they get there they can do whatever the hell they want. Well you know what I think? I think I like it…..and as for now. I think I really like it. Because tomorrow night is the television debut of E-C-W. And I’m gonna show up. And when I do….I’m gonna do whatever the hell I wanna do. So Paul Heyman – thank you for throwing this party tomorrow night because I guarantee you John Cena will have an extremely good time.

WINNER via DQ: John Cena (:42)

Great show all around. I almost forgot about the Kane-Kane and wet and wild catastrophes.