wrestling / TV Reports
The Bound For Glory 2007 Breakdown
November 10, 2007 | Posted by
| Bound For Glory 2007 by J.D. Dunn XXX goes for the X right away and gets cleared out. Skipper gets DESTROYED by doubleteams. Senshi gets his head together and cleans house to turn the tide. Cool spot as he lays in stiff kicks to Hernandez, but Hernandez just grabs him and tosses him across the ring. Homicide tries to shimmy across, but Senshi kicks him off. I’m not sure if Homicide and Skipper botch a belly-to-belly, but they’re spot looked awkward, so they try it again with Skipper getting the belly-to-belly. Homicide wipes out Senshi with a tope con hilo and gives Don West a woody. Hernandez tosses bitches aside and goes up. For whatever reason, Homicide turns into Earl Hebner and acts as if he can’t see Skipper going up. Skipper missile dropkicks Hernandez off. Skipper goes up to the top of one of the scaffolds and hits a crossbody on Hernandez! Crowd loved that one. Homicide and Skipper both go up, and Homicide hits a neckbreaker off the crossrope! Senshi catches Homicide going up, but Homicide tosses him into the scaffold and sets up for a SUPER GRINGO KILLA! Obviously, that’s not going to happen, so Senshi knocks him back into the tree-of-woe and hits the doublestomp! Skipper breaks up Hernandez’s over-the-top plancha and goes for the Play of the Day, but Hernandez just tosses him aside and Border Tosses him onto Homicide and Senshi. That allows Hernandez to go up and retrieve the X at 11:59 to earn a title shot. Fun, hot opener that got the crowd involved. Hernandez comes off like a beast among all these smaller X-division guys. It’s interesting to note that, if TNA ran things like the WWE did, Hernandez would probably just come out and squash nobodies like Gene Snitsky does. ***1/4 Ah, yes. The brilliant reverse battle royal concept. Everyone starts on the outside and tries to get in. There are 16 guys, so they fight until 8 of them get in the ring. Then, it turns into a regular battle royal. Then, when it gets down to two guys, it’s a regular match. Remember when Dusty Rhodes booked a cage match battle royal? This sucks even more! Your participants are Jimmy Rave, Lance Hoyt, Havoc, Shark Boy, Petey Williams, Kaz, Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Sonjay Dutt, Kip James, BG James, James Storm, Eric Young, Robert Roode, Chris Harris, and Junior Fatu. The idea is that the pairings will be determined by the order of elimination. That’s all well and good, but Christian Cage virtually guaranteed he’d be involved in the tournament, so at least one of these guys is getting screwed. Not only that, but because the eliminations in a battle royal aren’t really based on anything, winning the damned thing doesn’t give you any advantage! There is literally nothing to gain from staying in there. Kaz brings Roode in with the Flux Capacitor. Storm sneaks in at the last second, so Eric Young simply eliminates him. Everyone teams up and eliminates Fatu. Kaz springboards into a chokeslam from Hoyt. The MCMG destroy everything in sight, showing that they are, indeed, the class of TNA. They set up for a doubleteam, but Kaz kicks Sabin to the floor. Roode tosses Kaz. See, there’s a prime reason for a secondary title. Neither Roode nor Kaz are ready to contend for the World Title, and only Kaz really has the X-Division style. Shelley goes up top, but Roode tosses EY into him, eliminating Shelley. (10:19) Tenay makes a big deal about the Motor City Machine Guns facing off in the tournament due to the order of elimination. Hey, that’s a great idea. You should really tease that more since it’s definitely going to happen and all! The final segment is nothing. EY wins with a surprise small package at 1:31. The whole thing sucked from the drawing board, and only Kaz and the MCMG gave any real effort. * Consequences Creed looks like one of the fictional characters you had to face on Mike Tyson’s Punchout. He also looks like the black Carlito. He does well against AJ Styles but immediately tags out once Tomko gets in there. Tomko pummels Killings but takes a missile dropkick. AJ plays tweener-in-peril for a bit before hitting the Pélé (OUT OF NOWHERE!) to get out of trouble. Tomko destroys Creed with a Fallaway Slam. Hey, how awesome would it be if he destroyed the rock band Creed?!? Tell me you wouldn’t love to see him hitting a pump-handle slam on Scott Staap. Funny moment as Pacman “pulls the ropes down,” spilling Tomko to the floor, but it was so weak that Tomko just dusts himself off and goes chases him off. Tomko picks up Creed, but Killings wipes them both out with a tope. AJ follows up with the Shooting Star Plancha! Funny moment as Pacman pulls out the bribe money only to have AJ steal it from him. Killings rolls up AJ, but the ref is busy picking up the money and won’t count. That allows AJ and Tomko to set up for Au Revoir at 8:46. Tomko and Styles pick up the win and the titles. Despite being an odd pairing, they seem to work well together. Can you believe Tomko had the worst match in wrestling just two years ago? But we don’t have time to savor the victory because… **1/2 Lethal NEEDS an Elizabeth stat. A shoulderblock battle goes nowhere, so Daniels cheapshots him. Lethal gets fired up and ranas Daniels to the floor. That sets up a suicida. Daniels comes back with a uranage into the crowd barrier and then slams Jay onto the rail. OUCH! Back in, Daniels yanks on Lethal’s neck with a crossface. Lethal comes back with the snap clothesline and a bridging suplex for two. The superkick misses, but Lethal blocks the Angel’s Wings. He hits a cross-legged facebuster. That seems overly complicated to me. Lethal tries a springboard, but Daniels catches him and hits a DVD. The Best Moonsault Ever gets two. He misses an enzuigiri, though, and Lethal hits the Full Nelson Suplex! Lethal blocks a huracanrana but misses the diving elbow. Daniels covers! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Lethal finally finishes with the Lethal Combination at 10:59. **3/4 I would assume that the difference here is that the same guy can be put through a table twice. Scott charges Team 3D during their entrance. Lots of brawling early on, so there’s not much to recap. Scott and Ray fight up into the crowd. Finally, Team 3D sets up a table in the ring and 3Ds Rick through it. Scott returns, though, and destroys everything in sight. He sets up Ray and puts him through a table with the FRANKENSTEINER! More brawling, and Team 3D gets the advantage. They put Scott on a table, and the table breaks. Hey, they win! Oh, but you have to put him through the table, not…put him through a table. They set up to destroy Scott’s trachea, but the Motor City Machine Guns come down to distract Team 3D long enough for Scott to recover. Scott destroys Team 3D, allowing the Steiners to hit the Doomsday Bulldog for the win. Meh. They did what they were capable of, and the right guys went over. *3/4 It’s a mini Royal Rumble with chicks. Ms. Brooks is #1. Jackie Moore is #2. Jackie hits a German Suplex as the countdown begins for the next woman. Shelly Martinez is #3 having overcome her vampirism. She hits Brooks with a reverse DDT. Awesome Kong is #4. Everyone shits themselves. Great camera angle that makes Kong look like a mack truck. She takes so long to get down there that ODB comes in at #5. Jackie tosses Brooks. Kong throws out Shelly. Kong gives Jackie a flying pedigree and tosses her. Tenay credits her with eliminating Ms. Brooks, but it was clearly Jackie tossing her over. ODB and #6 Angel Williams team up on Kong. Man, Missy Elliott is fucking pissed in there. They go for a double suplex, but she reverses it and powers them over. Christy Hemme is #7. She charges the ring and comes face to face with Kong. Oops. Kong yanks her in and puts her in the Torture Rack. DONKEY BOMB! Gail Kim is #8. She staggers Kong long enough for ODB and Williams to recover. Christy appears to be seriously hurt (thankfully, she wouldn’t be). Gail tries a rana and gets Kong over enough for the other ladies to toss her over. And we get Kong boobage on TV! WHO WANTS TO SEX MUTOMBO! Talia Madison comes in at #9. Angel gets cocky by hanging around on the apron, so ODB knocks her off and eliminates her. Madison pairs off with Kim while ODB and #10 Roxxi Laveaux square off. There goes Madison. There goes ODB at 10:14. That leaves Roxie and Kim as your final two. They go nose-to-nose. Is it wrong that I find the Voodoo Queen thing kind of hot? Gail slaps on the Hanging Headscissors, but Roxxi makes the ropes. Gail misses a dropkick, but Roxxi stops to do her weird shimmy thing. That allows Gail to recover and hit the Schwien for the win and the title at 2:07. ** for the whole thing. Matt Morgan is your special guest enforcer. Christian gets NOTHING early on. The crowd starts dueling chants, and Tenay says, “It’d almost be better if we cut out and let the crowd tell the story.” Sadly, he doesn’t follow up on it. Joe beats the everloving crap out of Christian and hits a tree-of-woe dropkick. Christian slingshot dropkicks Joe but misses a dive off the top. That sets up a Joe elbow suicida. OLE KICK! They work in that goofy “backdrop the opponent into the ropes only to have the opponent bounce back with a DDT” spot. You’d know it if you saw it. Back in, Joe powers out of a headscissors, but Christian slips out of the Electric Chair and hits a reverse DDT. Christian’s frogsplash misses. They slug it out, and Joe wins, of course. Christian tries to slingshot himself back in, but Joe cuts him off with a flying kick. Christian tries to leave, but Morgan blocks his path. That allows Joe to hit a corkscrew plancha. Back in, Christian tries a crossbody, but Joe just walks away. Christian counters the Coquina Clutch into the Unprettier, but Joe slips out and powerbombs him into the turnbuckle. Christian powerbombs Joe off the ropes and tries a Flair pin. It only gets two. O’Connor Roll? No! COQUINA CLUTCH! Christian slips out, and they fight on top with both guys falling their separate ways. Tomko comes out to brawl with Morgan, hoping to distract him long enough for AJ Styles to interfere. Morgan disposes of Tomko and trips up Styles on a springboard attempt. He tosses Styles into Tomko and chases them both out of the arena. However, all of that distracts Joe long enough for Christian to kick Joe in the nuts and hit the Unprettier. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Christian tries a choke, but Joe powers up! MUSCLEBUSTER! COQUINA CLUTCH! ONE, TWO, THREE! (14:45). This was a very WWE-ish match, and I mean that in a good way. Morgan didn’t swerve anyone like many thought he would. He just did his job. The rest took care of itself. Christian finally suffered a clean loss after two years. But we don’t have time for that because… ***1/2 Rhino goes after the heels until Abyss is introduced. Abyss cleans house but takes a cane shot from Raven. Rhino tosses in a shopping cart, which I guess is a nod to Rhino and Raven’s WWE hardcore matches. Raven tries a spear, but Rhino sidesteps him and sends him through the cart. Rhino clears everyone out for a big brawl. He sets up for the gore on the ramp, but Abyss gets out of the way and sends him through…the…freakin’…wall (according to Don West). Raven and Black Reign team up and put Abyss on a table. Raven tells Black Reign to sacrifice himself and jump off the second tier through Abyss. Black Reign chickens out. What kind of psychopath are you?!? Raven shoves him aside and does it himself, apparently injuring himself. Reign tosses Abyss back in for two, but Raven recovers and gives him THE SNOTRAG! Rhino returns and GORES, GORES, GORES Black Reign. Raven dumps out some glass, but Father James Mitchell runs down and tells him to add some tacks. Hey, that works. Abyss recovers and Black Hole Slams Raven through the glass & tacks, though. That gives Abyss the win at 9:05. The usual brawl. It’s hard to get excited about people knocking down walls and landing on tacks these days. **1/4 Tentative start for both guys. Sting hiptosses Angle to the floor. Angle comes back with chops, and they seem to be on different pages for a few seconds. Sting clotheslines him over. Back in, Sting sets up for the Scorpion Deathdrop, but Angle rakes the eyes and hits a German Suplex. Angle takes over and grounds the match. Sting fights out of a side headlock but runs right into a belly-to-belly. Sting elbows out of another one, and they knock each other out with clotheslines. They slug it out, won by Sting. Angle charges right into a spinebuster! STINGER SPLASH! AND ANOTHER! Sting hits a bulldog and goes up, but he takes too long, and Kurt is able to hop up and throw him off with a belly-to-belly. ROLLING GERMANS! Kurt goes for the Anklelock, but Sting reverses to the Scorpion Deathlock. Karen Angle runs down and hops up on the apron, so Sting, like the idiot he is, drops the hold and chastises her. So much for that restraining order. That allows Kevin Nash to come down and clothesline Sting. ANGLESLAM! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Sting fights out of the super belly-to-belly and goes for a splash, but Angle gets his knees up. Angle goes up now and tries a 450-splash. It winds up more like a 430-splash, and Sting takes knees to the chest. OW! It only gets two, though. Angle applies the Anklelock, but Sting rolls him into Nash. The ref gets bumped as Sting hits the Scorpion Deathdrop. A new ref runs down, but Nash takes him out. Nash and Angle try a doubleteam, but Sting makes his own save. Angle goes low and grabs Sting’s bat. Sting “blocks,” knocks Angle silly and crotches Nash with the top rope. That allows him to hit the Scorpion Deathdrop at 18:26. Of course, it would all be negated when Angle won the title back a few weeks later. The match was okay when it was just Angle vs. Sting, but the silly overbooking kicked in and dragged this down from the epic it was supposed to be. TNA, I’ll clue you in from a writer’s standpoint. If Bound For Glory is supposed to be your big PPV, then it has to be the end of your story and you begin a new story the next show. That’s what a climax is. That’s what a culmination is. It’s not an excuse to set up Genesis. It’s one thing to do it on a lesser show, but if this is your version of WrestleMania, then it has to feel like all of the threads you’ve writing were tied up. Hell, even the WWE could take that advice given the past few WrestleManias. ***1/4 The 411: Certainly not a bad show. The wrestling ranges from the usual “bleh” to getting close to that outstanding plateau. The booking and storytelling leaves a lot to be desired, though. As a show unto itself, though, BFG gets a thumbs up. Solidly recommended. |
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