411’s OVW TV Report 5.11.06

We’re welcomed as always by Armando Alejando Estrada who is speaking into a cigar rather than a microphone!

Estrada: Hola! Everybody listen….haha…to me! Welcome to the Spanish version of OVW TV. My name is Armando Alejandro Estrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrada! AKA Big Lalo. Amigos, tonight is a big night. Tonight here in the Davis Arena, we have a very special guest. Please welcome, the WWE representive for the OVW Heavyweight Title. Seniorrrrrrrr Kennnnnnnedyyyyyyyyyy! Haha!

Kennedy: …….

Estrada: Kennedy!

Kennedy: Everybody listen….to me! HAHA! Ladies and gentlemen it is my honor, my privledge to come here tonight to congratulate C.M. Punk on capture the OVW Heavyweight Title. Now it is also my responsbility as the representive of the OVW Heavyweight Title, to inform Mr. Punk he will be defending that title here tonight at Davis Arena. And he will be facing the man who was originally scheduled to get his first title shot. Friday Friday FridayBr June 2nd at the first Summer Sizzler series at Kentucky Kingdom! It’s going to be one-on-one. Champion vs. the HNIC! What does that mean anyway? HNIC?

Estrada: Head Knuckle Head In Charge? Haha!

Kennedy: You’re a knuckle head. It starts with a K!

Estrada: Hey you’re not going to tell me how it’s going to be! This is my show! You go back to Smackdown cheesehead!

Kennedy: *Takes his jacket off and gets Estrada all scared* C.M. Punk vs. Shad Gaspard live on OVW TV!

Estrada: That’s what I’m….!

Kennedy: That’s what I’M talking about! But wait! There’s more. Ladies and gentlemen. The first WWE superstar confirmed for the Summer Sizzler Show is none other than Kurt Angle!

“Let the bodies hit the floor!”

Boris Alexiev vs. Kevin McCoy

No chance. Boris charges with a high knee but misses. Misses a roundhouse kick. McCoy with a couple of punches. Boris fires back and McCoy fires back. Boris backs off to his corner. Boris comes back with a series of punches that takes McCoy down to the corner. McCoy up but Boris lands some more punches that knocks him down. McCoy tries to nail a clotheline. Boris catches his arm and slings him over. Boris with more punches. Now a kick to the back of his nee. And some more kicks and punches. Boris rolls him up and locks in the armbar submission! McCoy makes it to the ropes! Boris with more open hand punches. Roundhouse kick to the gut by Boris. Boris with another arm submission and McCoy taps!

Winner- Boris Alexiev

Backstage, Maria is with her man C.M. Punk!

Maria: Hi, I’m Maria and I’m here with C.M. Punk. And I wanted to get your thoughts in your title defense against Shad Gaspard.

Punk: First things first, I wanna give credit where credit is due. Brent Gunner Scott Albright, was the toughest OVW Champion. He was the toughest guy I ever wrestled in my entire career. It’s too bad such a great wrestler just sucks at life. Brent you’re still a scumbag to me. And it’s kind of a shame because there’s nothing more that I’d like to do than shake the hand of a man who’s accomplished so much in his career. Now see, you deserve nothing but my contempt. And until you come back here and you finally admit that I’m the better man. That I’m the better champion. That I deserve this belt. Then I’ll shake your hand.

After weeks and weeks, I’ve been hearing this name Shad Gaspard. Shad Gaspard. I’m 6 foot whatever and I’m big and I’m tough and I’m from the streets of Brooklyn. Shad you’re right, You are big and you are tough. But you see, you and me, we’re both from the same place. We’re both from the streets, just different locations. I don’t appreciate when you jump me from behind Shad. Where I come from, it’s a little bit different. You meet someone man to man and you look him straight in the eye right before you knock his teeth down his throat. But that’s clearly not how it goes down in Brooklyn. That’s fine Shad. You see I know 2 things in life. I know how to fight and I know how to wrestle. I learned how to fight in the streets just like you. And I learned how to wrestle in a dojo. And I’m the most disciplined man you’re ever going to meet. Tonight, there’s not going to be anybody jumping anybody from behind. It’s going to be me and it’s going to be you and we’re going to be eye to eye in the center of that ring. And I’m not going to jump you from behind. What I’m going to do is slap on the Anaconda Vice, and you’re going to tap out. And I’m going to help you up and I’m going to send you back Brooklyn a defeated man. And not only are you going to know that you got beat, you’re going to find out first hand that you got punked!

We come back from break with Deuce, Domino and Cherry in the ring.

Domino: OH! We gotta little six man action tonight right here in the Davis Arena! OH! Hey, you people are not going to see my sister and Deuce’s girlfriend wrestle. No way! Hey shut up Cherry. So what we got for ya is for one night only. This one special time. Our tag team partner…OH!

Aaron “The Idol” Stevens comes out!

Deuce, Domino, & Idol Stevens vs. Kasey James, Roadkill & “Silverback” Ryan Reeves

James and Idol in first. Idol with a front leg trip. Idol with a lockup and James with a hiptoss and a armdrag. Idol tags in Deuce. Deuce goes for a boot to the gut but James catches his leg. James lifts him up. Deuce wiggles out and big kick to the gut bends James over. Deuce with a few fists. Deuce drags him over and tags Idol back in. Idol with a shot to the ribs. Idol with a headbutt. Irish whip. James reverses it and a hiptoss by James and a hiptoss. Idol gets the blind tag by Domino. Deue with a scoop slam. OH! Domino tags Idol back in. Idol goes for an elbow drop but James moves out of the way. Armbar by James now. The tag to Roadkill. Double elbow on Idol by Roadkill nad James. Roadkill with a powerslam! In comes Deuce and sidewalk slam for Deuce. Roadkill bounces up to the second turnbuckle and drops an elbow on Stevens! The cover 1…2…No! Domino makes the save. Here comes James to fight back Domino. Stevens sends Roadkill to the ropes. On the outside Deuce and Domino lift up Cherry and Roadkill runs right into her skates! Idol stomping on Roadkill now. Idol tags in Deuce. Deuce choking Roadkill with his boot. Tags in Domino. Domino stomping on Roadkill. Roadkill trying to fight back but Dice regains momentum. Tag to Deuce. Russian leg sweep by Deuce. Deuce pretends to comb his hair and does a little dance. Goes for a fist drop but nobody home! Blind tag by Idol. Idol charges in and knocks James and Reeves off the corner. Roadkill is up. Idol gets on his back and tries to put a sleeperhold. Roadkill to his feet. Falls back on his and crushes Idol! Tag to Reeves! Reeves in clearing house! Clothelines for everybody! Reeves lifts up Domino. Gureilla press and tosses him down on Deuce. Lifts up Idol. Running powerslam ala Davey Boy Smith! The cover 1..2…3!

Winners- Kasey James, Roadkill and Ryan Reeves

It’s Miz TV!

Miz: Yo what’s up It’s The Miz and you’re watching Miz TV! Hoorah! Check it out. You know the reality of the situation is this. Seth Skyfire may be the OVW Television Champion…for now. But we all know who the biggest star in OVW is. Moi. The ringmaster of reality himself! The Miz! Hoorah! And I’m going to take away his TV Title just like I took away his sweet innocent but oh so tempting girlfriend Ronnie Jona. So ladies and gentlemen please give a warm welcome to Mizz OVW TV, Ronnie Jona.

They make out and all that fun stuff.

Skyfire: Yo Miz, how’s my spit taste? Ronnie. Miz I want to say that losing Ronnie didn’t hurt but one piece of trash deserves another. So I’m sure your children will be very happy when they end up in the trailer park. Miz, like it or not, Seth Skyfire is the OVW Television Champion, and I’m right down the hall brother. So when you want a shot, just come give me a knock. But don’t either of you be surprised when my new girlfriend answers the door. Hoo-Rarahgah *Pretends to puke*

Idol is back in the ring with the mic.

Idol: You all think this is funny don’t you? All of you say I suck and laugh at me. How about you guys take a look at yourself. Like you. You’re so fat your body wakes up in sections! No matter where I go, how many places I’ve been, I can honestly say there is not a group of people that I despise more than all of you here in Louisville. Louisville, Kentucky more importantly you people here in the Davis Arena are the cucumber in the white trash salad of America!

Mickey Batts is here!

Idol: Who are you? Mickey Batts? Once again, I get rough and they just send Mickey Batts out here for his match. Am I supposed to take you seriously? Do you know that I am the man that…

Batts: Just…got…beat!

They get in each other’s faces. Idol backs down and pushes the microphone to him. Idol steps out of the ring and just leaves. The Riggs brothers come out and Idol from behind levels them with a chair! And now a chair to the throat of Mickey Batts!

Idol: I have had it! I’ve had it with those two bitches that wanted to live off my name! I’ve had it with being passed over for title shots. When I have won more titles, and I have accomplished more in OVW than anybody in that lockerroom. So from now on, all of you out here, and all of you in the back are going to understand that I am the star that shines. That I am the only one that’s going to be worshipped around here. And that I am the only one in your pathetic lives worthy of being Idolized!

Miz is back.

Miz: Welcome everyone to the 2nd edition of Miz TV! So good we’re doing 2. Joined by the talented, sexy, nipple manical Ronnie Jona. Tonight, we’re going to explore the life of Seth Skyfire. Which is in shambles. First he lost his girl, which is now my girl. And he’s about to lose his TV Title to the hottest, the sexiest reality star ever! The Miz! Hoorah! So now let’s take the show down the hallway to meet Seth Skyfire’s new little girlfriend!

Ronnie looks in and shuts the door quick.

Ronnie: We gotta go.

Miz: Is she fat? It’s a dude isn’t it! Miz opens the door. It’s Shelley!

Shelley: You stepping up to me looking for a fight! Shelley lands a forearm to Ronnie! And now Skyfire jumps Miz! Shelley and Skyfire are all over them! Officials come to break them up. Chet The Jet is here to try to help break them up! So is Tank Toland!

We come back from break and The Miz & Ronnie are in the ring with the mic.

Miz: Just like Shelley all you ladies are envious of Ronnie Jona. You wish you could be Ronnie Jona. Every single one of you. All of you wish you could have a hot sexy reality superstar like The Miz Hoorah! Oh guys don’t think I forgot about you. I know you have 2 things on your mind. *Geeky voice* Gee golly gosh! How could I get a hot girl like Ronnie Jona to go home with me like the Miz. You can’t fatty! And number 2. Gee Golly Gosh I have no teeth! I wonder how I could be a multimedia star like The Miz. Guess what! You can’t! That’s right. Shut up. That is why you guys sit here and…*crowd chants something* This is why you sit there and cheer a scumbag like Seth Skyfire who hires Shelley, a half hooker to come out and attack Ronnie Jona. So let me tell you something Skyfire. You want to take both of us on. We can do this. Seth Skyfire, you bring your little…you can mop the floor with Shelley. Seth Skyfire I’m calling you out homie. I’m taking your manhood…

*Skyfire’s music hits and he comes out with Shelley*

Skyfire and Shelley charge to the ring and scare off Miz and Ronnie to the outside. A referee has the mic.

Ref: Mr. Reality TV Star, you want the match? You’ve got the match. Miz and Ronnie Jona versus Seth Skyfire and Shelley and the match starts right now!

Miz: Shut up Shut Up! I wanted him Six Flags with Kurt Angle and…. *they fade out for a break*

The Miz & Ronnie vs. Seth Skyfire & Shelley

We’re back from break and Skyfire is pummeling Miz. Miz crawls to the corner. Skyfire lands a big punch. Skyfire slams Miz’s head into the turnbuckle. Skyfire sends Miz to the ropes. Dropkick by Skyfire. Skyfire sends Miz to the ropes reversed by Miz. Skyfire off the ropes and hurricarana! Skyfire charges to the corner and monkey flips Miz! The cover 1…2..No! Skyfire with a forearm to Miz in the corner. Miz begs off. Miz pulls the ref in between them and backs off to make the tag to Ronnie! Ronnie in with Skyfire. Shelley wants the tag. Ronnie tries to slap Skyfire. Skyfire grabs her arm. Ronnie goes for another slap but Skyfire has both her arms now. Ronnie tries to kiss Skyfire but Skyfire shoves her face away. Shelley charges in but Ronnie runs over to make the tag to Shelley. Miz grabs Shelley by the hair but Skyfire is there to break it up. Headbutt by Skyfire. Skyfire sends Miz to the ropes. Reversed by Miz and kicks Skyfire in the knee. The cover gets 2!

Miz with a stomp to the kidneys. Skyfire goes for a clotheline. Miz wraps his arm up sets him up and nails a reverse neck breaker! The cover 1…2…No! Another cover gets 2! And another! Miz is pissed. Miz circles Skyfire. Hoorah! Sizes him up! Kick to the boot. Sets him up for The Mizzard of Oz! Blocked by Skyfire. Skyfire shoves him down and lands a standing moonsault! Miz charges at Skyfire in the corner. Big boot to Miz. Now a big elbow. Skyfire with a big fist to the chin. Clotheline by Skyfire. Forearm by Skyfire. Matrix dropkick!! Miz is laid out! Miz is calling for a superkick! Skyfire with a matrix inzuguri! Skyfire to the top rope! Top rope leg drop! The cover! NO! Ronnie in to break up the pin before it starts! Ronnie trying to choke Skyfire! Shelley in and throws her off. Shelley on top of Ronnie! Shelley starts pummeling her! Cat fight and Shelley is tearing her up. Ronnie throws her off and rolsl to the outside. Miz lands a chinbuster on Skyfire that sends Skyfire to the outside! Shelley from behind jumps on Miz’s back! Sleeperhold on Miz! Miz rolls around on the ring and finally Miz falls to the outside. Skyfire is going up top! Miz on the outside with Ronnie! FLYING BODY PRESS TO THE OUTSIDE TAKES OUT MIZ AND RONNIE!!! Skyfire tosses Ronnie back into the ring with Shelley! Shelley with a big forearm! Skyfire with The Miz on the outside! Shelley with some more forearms! WAIT! BETH PHOENIX WITH A SPEAR ON SHELLEY! Ronnie with a pin! NO REF! Now he’s here! 1…2…3!!!

Winners- The Miz & Ronnie

We’re joined by Mr. Kennedy who’s poking his finger into the camera.

Kennedy: Hey…come here. *He opens a door and it’s Shad Gaspard* There he is…the number one contendor. The man whose destiny awaits.

Gaspard: You need somethin man?

Kennedy: Yeah! I wanted to come here to tell you how huge this match is going to be tonight. I just wanted to come tell you that.

Gaspard: You wanted to come in here and tell me how huge this match is tonight? Let me let you know something. I was raised on the filthy floors in a one bedroom apartment, on the L Train in Brooklyn New York. With my mother, my brothers, and my sisters. With the roaches, and the rats, and the bitches outside selling drugs on the stoop. And I fought my way through all that to climb the ladder for a title shot. Look man, and you want to tell me how big this match is?

Kennedy: I respect all that you’ve done ok? In fact, my money’s flying on you man. Which is why you’re going to love this next little tidbit of information I’ve got for ya. You ready for this? The WWE Championship Committee has decided that next week, a very special WWE Superstar will get a title shot at the OVW Heavyweight Title. Whether that champion be C.M. Punk or 6 foot 7, 315 pound Shad Gaspard. You like that?

Gaspard: I like that. You know what? You tell that superstar, that I’m gonna slap his ass all around Louisville next week. Because I’m going to be holding the gold. Yeah. Yeah. Shad Gaspard…OVW Champion. The head n—- in charge! C.M. Whiteboy ain’t gonna know what hit him. It’s going to be like taking candy from a baby. Or taking a title from a whiteboy. I’m hungry for this opportunity. I’ve waited my whole life for this. NOW GO! *Kennedy runs*

Kennedy comes to the ring and announces the wrestlers.

C.M. Punk -c- vs. Shad Gaspard (OVW Heavyweight Championship)

The match starts and they immediatly start to slug it out! They trade punches. Gaspard gets the advantage. Off the ropes! Inzuguri by Punk! Punk with a forearm. Chop on Gaspard. Elbow to the throat. Gaspard covers up in the corner as Punk lands a series of punches and uppercuts. Knee lifts by Punk as the ref holds him back. Gaspard out of the corner and lands a haymaker. Gaspard in the corner now with a running knee lift. Big hiptoss by Gaspard. Gaspard with Punk. Punk breaks the grapple and Punk lands some punches. Gaspard ignores them and grabs Punk and lands a belly to belly suplex! The cover! 1…2…NO! SO CLOSE! Gaspard looks disappointed and throws a fit. Gaspard picks up Punk. Picks him up with two hands by the throat! Ref is trying to break them up! Rake of the eyes by Punk and Gaspard lets him go. Punk with some kicks. Slap Slap Chop! Misses the chop! Misses a roundhouse kick! Gaspard goes for a clotheline. Punk ducks it. PUNK WITH THE ANACONDA VICE! HE JUMPS ON GASPARD AND LOCKS IT IN! GASPARD WALKS OVER TO THE ROPES WITH PUNK HANGING ON HIM! GASPARD STAGGERS BACK! GASPARD STILL WITH PUNK ON HIM! TRIES TO SLAM PUNK INTO THE TURNBUCKLE! PUNK DOESN’T LET GO! GASPARD HAS THE ROPES BUT THE REF ISN’T BREAKING THE HOLD! GASPARD FALLS TO THE MAT! HE’S DOWN! GASPARD TRYING TO BREAK IT BUT HE TAPS!

Winner and STILL OVW Heavyweight Champion- C.M. Punk

Kennedy has the mic!

Kennedy: Ladies and gentlemen! STILL the OVW Heavyweight Champion……!

KENNEDY NAILS PUNK IN THE HEAD WITH THE OVW TITLE!!! KENNEDY IS STOMPING ON PUNK! KENNEDY GOES TO THE TOP ROPE!! WOW! KENNEDY NAILS A SWANTON ON C.M. PUNK!!!!!

Kennedy: Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve just been informed by the WWE Championship Committee, that the WWE Superstar receiveing an OVW Title shot next week is none other than MISTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR KENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

…..KENNEDY!

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……………..KENNEDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!