Five-Star Conversation 04.20.10: My Favorite Column On My Favorite Day On My Favorite Topic – THE DRAFT!

It’s a big week here at Five-Star Conversation, as we embark on one of my favorite topics of the year…The Draft! This year is a little different from the past couple of years, as there’s no longer a third brand to consider…I’m not sure if that simplified or complicated the process of trying to consider and predict that which we might see go down on Monday, but let’s dig in and start talking…right after this word dedicated to anyone celebrating the holiday today. If you’re asking, “What holiday…?!” chances are, the following video is not for you:

I’d love to know if Domino’s sees an increase in delivery today…?

THE 2010 DRAFT!!!
It seems to me the best place to start this process is to separate the rosters, Raw from SmackDown!, then continue to break down each roster list into sub-texts, such as, “Main Event”, “Upper Mid-card”, “Mid-card”, “Etc.” and “Women’s Division”, which is just what I’ve done this year. Obviously, there’s likely to be some griping on who is placed where, but I think it all are pretty well and accurately accounted for this year. See if you agree:

RAW
MAIN EVENT Faces – John Cena, Randy Orton, Triple H
Heels – Sheamus

UPPER MID-CARD Faces – …
Heels – Ted DiBiase, The Big Show, The Miz

MID-CARD Faces – Evan Bourne, Christian, Kofi Kingston, MVP
Heels – Cody Rhodes

ETC. Faces – Primo Colon, Santino Marella, Mark Henry, Yoshi Tatsu
Heels – Carlito, Chavo Guerrero, Vladimir Kozlov, Chris Masters, William Regal, Zack Ryder

WOMEN’S Division Faces – Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, Melina, Eve Torres
Heels – Rosa Mendes, Katie Lea Burchill, Alicia Fox, Jillian Hall, Maryse
(And wherever the hell The Bellas fit in…do they do anything to warrant a denomination…?)

SmackDown!
MAIN EVENT Faces – Edge, The Undertaker
Heels – Batista, Chris Jericho, Jack Swagger

UPPER MID-CARD Faces – John Morrison, Rey Mysterio, R-Truth
Heels – Drew McIntyre, CM Punk

MID-CARD Faces – Shelton Benjamin, JTG, Kane, Matt Hardy, Tyson Kidd, David Hart Smith
Heels – Luke Gallows, Shad Gaspard, Ezekiel Jackson, Dolph Ziggler

ETC Faces – Finlay, Funaki, Goldust, Slam Master J, Jimmy Wang Yang
Heels – Vance Archer, Mike Knox, Trent Baretta, Caylen Croft

WOMEN’s Division Faces – Mickie James, Natalya, Beth Phoenix, Tiffany
Heels – Layla El, Michelle McCool, Serena

With the rosters broken down in such a manner, I was quite shocked at a more than a couple of things:

Because Cena has basically been feuding with SmackDown!’s Batista all year and Triple H has been involved with helping to elevate Sheamus, with Orton’s face turn pretty well complete, I was absolutely flabbergasted to find that Sheamus is the only heel on the flagship show operating this high up the card! I know some of you might have a problem with him being so ranked, but if we knocked him down a peg, that would leave us with no main event-level heels up top. Besides, he’d still have to be ranked above the next contenders, Ted DiBiase, who, following the demise of Legacy, is involved in his own “solo rebranding”, eef you wee-yull…or would you be happier knowing that The Miz is your top Raw heel? A case could be made, considering all the gold pouring off of him at the moment, but I’m going to stick with Sheamus as the lone heel at the top of the Rawster, because, like it or not, that’s exactly how I think McMahonagement see it, too. Therefore, what we need on Monday is at least one top heel stat.

On the flip side of that discussion is the apparent fact that Raw also hasn’t a single Upper mid-card face, either! Yes, we have a quartet of stalwart stand-by cheer-getters down a tick as your straight mid-card faces in Christian, Bourne, Kingston and MVP, but I don’t think any of them are ranked in the minds of creative or most fans who would look at the situation honestly and not be moved to consider, say, Christian as an upper mid-carder because of his tenure as ECW Champion. The fact is, I don’t see either Captain Charisma or MVP going anywhere, even after The Draft, not because I don’t like them (I do), but because I don’t think they’re a priority to McMahonagement.

The “infirmed” Cody Rhodes also stands alone as the sole mid-card heel on the Rawster, as well.

Meanwhile, over on SmackDown!, we see a similar issue developing when we look at the main event faces – only Edge and Taker exist at the top of the card, and The Dead Man is headed off to his annual post-WrestleMania hiatus, leaving Edge the lonely hero on Friday nights. Conversely, established heels Batista and Chris Jericho top the heels’ chart, with the new World Champion Jack Swagger hanging onto the belt. Similarly to Sheamus, some may have an issue with newly skyrocketed-to-the-top Swagger ranked this high, but, as the champion, where else would you put him? Again, like it or not, Swagger is currently THE main event on SmackDown! until he loses that title, so here he stays.

The remainder of the roster tends to be a bit more even in terms of face-to-heel denomination by the numbers, although once one looks at what’s really going on, the even-keeled treatment falls to the wayside; with respect to the faces, the only real clearly-established face who could seamlessly stroll right into the main event is Rey Mysterio…some may even have a problem that I ranked him too low, but because he only seems to vie for The WT when it’s simply a means by which to set up another feud (remember Batista?), he comes across more as a useful, reliable mid-card tool, rather than someone who stands to get involved in a main event program leading him anywhere near the title.

Likewise, some may have a bit of a problem with the fact that Morrison and Truth are ranked as highly as Mysterio, but, quite frankly, they seem to have a certain greater chance of upward mobility, as opposed to the rest of the SD! mid-card (Benjamin, JTG, Kane & Hardy), who, like their Raw counterparts, appear to be comfortably set in their constructive place on the card, reliable faces who will guarantee a nice pop and a solid match, at least for the time being. (You’ll notice I didn’t include Kidd & Hart from The Hart Dynasty in that little scenario – that’s because I figure them to be relieving ShoMiz of their 40 pounds of gold sooner rather than later, which will conveniently allow them to appear on either brand…the question is, will fans accept them such that they can compete on the upper mid-card level, as ShoMiz do currently, or will it be a short-lived tenure…?)

As for the upper mid-card heels, I think we can confidently say CM Punk is king here (and really should be operating on a main event level considering the tremendous act he’s created for himself as the leader of The Straight-Edge Society), with Drew McIntyre following behind, though not nearly as closely as I’m sure McMahonagement would like). Down a tick to the mid-card, we see some activity! With dissolution of Cryme Tyme, it appears as if Shad Gaspard is getting a chance to prove his mettle as a solo performer, Dolph Ziggler seems to be gathering momentum, Luke Gallows has to be taken seriously with The SES backing him (certainly more serious than Festus ever would have been!) and, when he returns from burying his father, the whole point of allowing Ezekiel Jackson to dethrone Christian on ECW’s final broadcast for the belt was to set him up as a future singles star with whom to be reckoned (I don’t think the same designs are in place for JTG).

And of course there’s the undercard for both shows. I don’t really anticipate much movement at all from either side, really. When and if the third Colon brother now working in FCW is called up, we could see a little tug-of-war for his alliance between Carlito and Primo, but nothing more than that from either of them. I anticipate Marella, Masters Guerrero and Regal (and let’s throw Hornswoggle in there, too) all likely used as comic fodder on Monday nights for the guest host segments. Henry can be upped to mid-card status with little effort although Tatsu could very well be allowed a push up into the mid-card, as he seems to be well-liked and I think his Superstars record is pretty solid (correct me if I’m wrong).

On SD!, the faces seem to be there to serve a purpose, as is the case with any low-card grouping, to be fed to those whom we hope to establish and to provide meaningless fun jerking the curtain at house shows: Finlay (who should also be working in the off-hours with the youngsters on their way up), Funaki, Slam Master J and The Wanger.

So let’s discuss Draft predictions now that the stage has been set. This is really pretty impossible to figure out, considering right now, WWE is more concerned with getting half of their workforce home from The UK in time for this weekend’s PPV than it is with how many Draft picks each brand will be afforded. What I did was look at both rosters and pretty much just plugged in the holes I thought obviously needed repairing, ie, no upper-card faces, one lone mid-card heel, etc. From there, I looked to just provide some balance, though bearing in mind that, given the nature of Raw anymore, ie, focusing much more on the entertainment than the sports, Mondays don’t require as packed a roster as do Fridays. At any rate, here we go:

I went with six pics for each brand, with a couple of proverbial “smart bombs” thrown in:

From Raw to SmackDown!
Randy Orton
Kofi Kingston
Vladimir Kozlov
Zack Ryder & Rosa Mendes (2fer Draft pick)
Gail Kim
Katie Lea Burchill

From SmackDown! to Raw
Batista
The Straight-Edge Society (3fer Draft pick)
R-Truth
Shad Gaspard
Goldust
Mickie James

It seems fairly obvious that Orton should head to SD!, especially now that he’s a face (even if his overall attitude hasn’t changed all that much, which I hope endures!). He’s already been embroiled with Swagger over The WT and they’ll even be facing off for it this Sunday at The PPV. Why not make it a four-way battle for the belt, among Orton, Edge, Jericho and champion Swagger? This is a great way to help to establish Swagger as belonging on top, as I have to believe is the intent of McMahonagement, while telling an even less predictable story in so doing. With Taker headed to his annual hiatus, Friday night is going to need another solid, top-of-the-line face to help anchor the brand, and Orton has never been hotter than he is right now.

Kofi Kingston has been just hanging out since his monster rise to the higher portion of the mid-card (ironically, against Orton) has cooled, which leads me to believe that perhaps we could see him in for a change of scenery, and one, I think, that would do him good. It seems to me the SD! writers have a little more on the ball than that of their Raw counterparts in terms of building a reliable, consistent character, and it seems to me that, aside from possessing an exciting move-set, is what Kingston needs. Also, if he’s expected to move up in the ranks, which I’m hoping WWE is expecting out of him, Kingston needs to know how to work longer than just the status quo Raw three minute number. Not to suggest that he can’t now, but perhaps it would behoove him to get involved in a nice program for The UST against rugged champion McIntyre, where they have a few ten, fifteen, twenty minute matches, just to really whip Kingston into shape for an upward climb? All in all, a character-developing tenure on SmackDown! would do Kingston some good, I think.

Kozlov and Ryder moving to SD! serves as The Russian’s last real chance to reboot himself into something valuable by the company, lest he be “future endeavor’ed”, I think. I suggested this way back when I was still analyzing SD! for The R’s when Kozlov debuted and was being pushed as Mr. Big Shit, that, basically, he’s not and that I’d be surprised if he was still employed by the company and doing anything meaningful in two years’ time. Well, here we are and he languishes at the bottom of the card. My reasoning for having moved him back over to SD! will be explained in a moment, but, quite frankly, the role he’ll play could just as easily be achieved if we elevated Vance Archer or Mike Knox into the mid-card.

Ryder, on the other hand, could be something if given an opportunity, but he won’t see that opportunity on Raw. Because I’m reticent to split up him up from his Snookie, I’ve made his pick a “2fer”, such that he’s allowed to bring Mendes over to Fridays, too. Quite frankly, this is the same story on a less-grand scale as Kingston; give the kid a chance to show he’s got something and to have some time to be involved in some matches of a certain length of time and evaluate him from there. If he’s picking it up, give him a little push and see what happens. If not, he’s an easy character to want to see get squashed in favor of a more popular, upwardly-mobile performer.

I didn’t discuss the women’s divisions at length, but basically, here’s the deal – Michelle McCool is the top heel on SD! and that’s not going to change for a good while (at least as long as Taker’s making her tap out in the sheets). We’re setting up for a big program between McCool and the re-established Beth Phoenix, so anything aside from that is going to be pretty superfluous on SD!. If anything, they could use another lower-level heel who can work a decent match, so I sent over Burchill.

On Raw, it seems quite stable that Eve Torres is getting the big build, I don’t think it’s too long before Melina returns and Maryse seems to have a tight grip on being the #1 heel, so, aside from feeding SD! a heel Raw can spare, I sent Mickie James to Raw, if for no other reason than for her to be more highly visible so Raw can help to push her country album. Admittedly, pretty innocuous.

In the main event, I see both Batista and Punk coming over, Punk bringing Gallows and Serena with him in a “3fer” pick (facilitated by, say, a battle royal that will yield the winning brand three picks as opposed to just the one, Punk is picked and demands that his faithful brethren are allowed to come, too), because if Gallows, especially, has any chance of getting over, it’s right now as a part of The SES. He and Shad Gaspard also help to fill the gaping heel hole in the mid-card once Cody Rhodes returns and turns face against his former Legacy partner, Ted DiBiase. Like Gallows, I think Gaspard is getting his own personal green light and will be allowed the opportunity to make or break on the flagship show against the likes of those stalwart fan favorites who aren’t going anywhere soon in Christian, Bourne and MVP.

Based upon the fact that there’s a book in the works about Dustin Runnels’ life and that his character Goldust has been seeing a solid showing on Superstars, it stands to reason that he should be moved to Raw as his little half-brother turns face, such that, perhaps, we get a Rhodes’ family reunion, with Big Dutht managing…? Hell, why not?

Back to the main event scene, with news breaking of Batista reportedly being pissed fucking off over having been replaced in the upcoming WWE Films vehicle “Killing Karma” by HHH and aiming to have taken time off after the shoot wrapped until his WWE contract came due, after pulling one of these:

…he may just allow his contract to expire and not renew. I can see WWE moving him to Raw in an attempt to stroke his ego and quell his rage, a statement that he deserves to be WWE’s top heel, but will it be enough…? Besides, we all know Punk is the real master at the top of the EVIL card! (BTW, if Tri is gonna be in a film, he should be Thor! He even brings his own hammer!)

All in all, I’m about out of room for this week. Please comment with respect to your Draft predictions, and, of course, tell me how brilliant or retarded my choices have been!

COMMENTPALOOZA!!!
For loyal friends of 5SC who have missed this section, I just want to explain that, because there have been quite a number of columns recently gone by that I’ve not had the time to include COMMENTPALOOZA, I’ve gone back over the last month-and-a-half or so and cherry-picked the comments left by readers I felt particularly drawn to answer. I didn’t get to last week’s comments, as I ran out of space; it’s my plan now to combine last week’s comments and whatever is left for me this week into next week’s column. Sorry to have neglected so, my friends! Hope you enjoy.

Props for the R-Truth love. One reason for him being over is that the crowd loves to be involved. His “WHAT’S UP!” lend itself to that perfectly. Even the biggest smark would love to have a mic shoved in their face so they could say something on tv. His main problem is his age. Just imagine if he were 5-10 years younger.
Posted By: The Great Capt. Smooth

I’ll tell ya, Schmoovie, something I’ve realized and was briefly discussing with KanyonKreist on Facebook, is the level of balance between “markdom” and “smarkdom” I think I’ve managed to achieve. It seems to me there’s a surplus of commenters in the wrestling zone who have assigned themselves such know-it-all status that it makes me wonder how they enjoy any product at all, as they appear to have wrung out all the fun and replaced it with a quality of been-there/done-that generally reserved for those who’ve been toiling away in an industry for decades. This is directed at no one in particular, but we all know whom you are – the sort who watches a wrestling program not to enjoy it but to be the first person to show up in the comments section to impress everyone else with their scathing, clever-clever brilliance; the sort who behaves as if the money that pays for these shows to be produced comes out of their pocket, but are painfully, melodramatically unable to change the Titanic-like course said show is headed down.

Now, by no means, am I suggesting we Pollyanna our way around and accept every dimwitted decision made by those in charge, certainly we have the right to like what we like and dislike that which we don’t, and maybe it’s old age creeping in and settling my youthful fire, but let some of this go! I don’t mean to sound preachy, but choose your battles, friends. And this weekly celebration when TNA’s ratings slips another 10% on Monday nights does no one any good. It’s a good thing for TNA to exist, despite how poorly they may conduct some of their stories or business practices. It’s stuff like this I mean to address on this little rant. We’re all marks or else we wouldn’t be here, period. Every wrestler in the business is a mark or else he wouldn’t be in the business in the first place, period…unless, of course, you’re Goldberg and were just looking for a quick, no-muss/no-fuss way to make a few million.

Not that I’m gonna set up some self-righteous CM Punk/Shad Gaspard precedent by suggesting “you’d be better off if you more like me”, but it strikes me that the wrestling zone here at 411Mania, and The IWC as a whole, would be a much more enjoyable place to be if people would get the fuck over themselves. Accept the fact that, in the wrestling industry, because we are not really apart of it (some of you may need to stop and allow that to soak in a moment), that, for every two things we “know” to be true, there are ten more about which we as fans are clueless (and that definitelygoes for all you Tuesday afternoon armchair ratings analysts, too), and make peace with the fact that, sometimes, yes, we do come up with some great ideas…but it doesn’t make a shit of difference unless you put yourself in a position to be hired on by Vince or Dixie. There’s always going to be good, there’s always going to be bad, just try and find the middle ground and don’t dwell on the awful…have some FUN. If that’s beyond you, then do yourself and the rest of us all a favor and find a new hobby.

That said, Schmoove, I can’t believe no one’s yelled an expletive into the mic when Truth shoves it into a fan’s face…although I’ve not seen him do it in awhile…perhaps someone did! And I don’t have to imagine when Truth was 5-10 years younger…I saw it! He was tagged with Jesse Jammes just before the Dee-Yo-Double-Gee left the company. I’m a little fuzzy on the details, but I’m pretty certain there was something of an issue over marijuana, and that they both migrated to TNA around the same time, where Truth ended up an NWA Champion.

Geoff, the one thread of hope I have for Christian is what has happened with CM Punk.

He doesn’t seem to fit the standard mold that I perceive Vince to have. Punk seems to live in the doghouse and fans complain about aborted pushes. Yet he has had multiple World title reigns, has enough heat to get a couple guys over, and has been allowed to expand his Straight Edge character into pure awesomeness.
Maybe it is the last that Vince likes – a good gimmick. And now Vince can say Right to Censor was a good idea with the wrong people.

Punk seems to have made it with Heyman gone, HHH and HBK not liking him, and not being a hoss. So maybe Christian has a chance.

Really, if we were to step back a little, being a fan favorite mid-carder isn’t a bad place to be. At least as good as the World title holder in the territory days. But if he were a main-eventer we wouldn’t have to be afraid of Christian being lost in the mid-card shuffle.
Posted By: Guest#9148

I agree, being a midcard face in WWE at the moment isn’t a bad place to be at all, provided you don’t mind never being given the opportunity to rise out of your current status on the card to rise into the rarified air of a world champion, you don’t mind grooming a batch of youngsters (including putting them over) as they rise above you on the roster and take the slot you’ve had your eye on for years (I think this was where the derision between Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels started in the first place) and you don’t mind the travel or not being around your family. I didn’t mean that to sound too cynical, that lifestyle most certainly could be appealing to a host of folks, especially if the downside is good and the merchandise is selling.

I can’t speak for Christian. I don’t know if he feels as if he should have been given a much better shake after having left for TNA to prove that he has what it takes to be a world champion, then coming back to lead a dying brand, or if he expected to walk back into WWE and back into his old position on the roster…who knows? However, all reports coming out of Titan Towers lead me to believe that Vince doesn’t see a star when he looks at Christian, so my expectations for his rising above his current level on the roster seems relegated to the wet rasslin dreams of The Peeps.

As for Punk, and this is a good reason why we all should stop acting like we know what we’re talking about all the time (and that goes for me, too, I accordance with what I just said in the above paragraph), because we obviously had it wrong, with respect to his WWE Doghouse residence. I think one thing Vince really likes about Punk, and this is an assumption, obviously, is that there’s even a large portion of The IWC ignorant to RoH, where Punk cut his teeth, and so, once he became a glimmer in The WWE Universe, Vince was free and able to mold this seasoned talent however he liked with minimal preconceived notions from his fans.

I’ve said this numerous times here in 5SC, but it still seems to hold true as far as I’m concerned, so I’ll repeat it – if Punk’s first world title run seemed lackluster, it’s because that wasn’t his title run, it was Jeff Hardy’s, but Hardy’s Wellness suspension took him out of WrestleMania, and, thus, Money in the Bank, so the field was wide open for a new winner. That winner, obviously, was Punk. Therefore, thanks to Hardy, WWE had the opportunity to play with Punk’s relationship with the fans, who were initially jazzed by this relative stranger costing Edge the championship he won under dubious circumstances and lorded over them, not even so much because it symbolized him as the best on the brand, but because if he had the belt, it meant none of the fans’ heroes could have it.

However, at this point, Punk really wasn’t one of the fan’s heroes, either, he’d not yet anchored himself in their hearts, but that’s what this first title run was all about, endearment. That lackluster initial run was intentional, as far as I’m concerned, because they didn’t want this relative newcomer to suddenly win the belt almost by luck and roll over established main event talent. Thus, he appeared weak to those who caught on early, and, especially, those familiar with his RoH work, who wanted to see him dominate (because they already knew he was capable of doing so). But, over time, the fans grew to view Punk as the underdog who was worth cheering…and, seemingly, just as things started to click for Punk, he lost the title…and to wrench the hearts of those who had come to believe in him, he was never even defeated for it!

To make matters worse, when he failed to regain the belt, he was assigned to tag with another fledgling face who had started to connect with fans (but little more than that at the time), Kofi Kingston. Despite the fact that, together, they won The World Tag Team Title Belts away from Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase, a measure of revenge for their involvement in Punk’s having lost The WT, there was still a pronounced level of unrest from those who believed Punk shouldn’t have lost The WT and was demoted to tag team level…it must be because Vince is displeased! But look what we had…Punk held another title and Kingston got a rub from having tagged with a former world champion.

Next came Punk’s bid for and winning of The ICT. Still, a loud contingent of The IWC complained it was meaningless because Punk was a former world champion having been demoted to being the king of the midcard, notwithstanding his new Triple-Crown Winner status…and a more solid fanbase behind him at this point than he’d enjoyed when he was The WC. Ass-backwards as it seemed, the booking of Punk once McMahonagement realized they had a viable talent on their hands when he held The WT, took it back to start with what appears to be a much more deliberate plan in place, building him “from scratch” and giving Kingston the rub in the process.

In an ironic twist, WWE chose to capitalize upon this newfound popularity by turning him heel when, traded to SmackDown!, he chose to cash in his second $itB briefcase against uber-face Jeff Hardy (although think back to the manner in which The Rock’s main event build was orchestrated at Survivor Series ’98). Gradually we saw Punk’s hateful, spiteful side develop and display itself until he was a certifiable HATED MAN, culminating when he won a “Loser-Leaves-SD!” match, being cast as the kayfabe reason the beloved Hardy left WWE. Punk had come to play his role so well, again, The IWC (this whiner talking at ya included!) was upset over how quickly and summarily he not only lost The WT to The Undertaker, but was cast aside in the aftermath when, it seemed to me, that there was still more story to be written in this regard.

Since then, though, we’ve seen Punk pulled back and associated with more young talent in having created The Straight-Edge Society, only he now has a greater rub to provide (shall I rephrase that…?), even lending credence and stability to Luke Gallows, who, otherwise, may never have been bought “overcoming” the one-dimensional Festus gimmick had Punk not “saved” him. So pronounced is Punk’s heat at the moment, many regard him as being WWE’s greatest heel, performing his role with such dexterity and adroitness, some of the older crowd has actually taken to cheering him again (coupled with his consistently impressive ringwork).

All this to say, we can’t believe what we think we know because of what has been reported, ie, the old doghouse situation. Look at Jack Swagger (although we’ve seen a long history of people be punished in WWE only to be pushed once whatever disciplinary measure taken expires, too). We also can’t assume we know what’s going on all the time and to be able to gauge with accuracy the intensions of the booking committee all the time, because, sometimes, there really is a plan in place and it doesn’t always end up falling by the wayside, become forgotten about or railroaded due to injury or some other such unforeseeable circumstance. The difference, though, between Christian and Punk is that Punk was a blank canvas in WWE whereas Captain Charisma has already been around the block in addition to having jumped ship, putting a hiccup in the whole “loyalty” scheme that Vince seems to respect.

Fire Russo Hire Eubanks
Posted By: Hey TNA

What and have Jim Cornette send me death threats? No thanks!!! Besides, I don’t think I’m old enough yet.

Seriously, thanks to Hey TNA. When this first posted, it made my day!

Hey, great column. I’m a long time 411 reader and I just wanted to let you know that you’re my personal favorite writer on this site. You don’t pretend to be above all of your readers and you come across as a fan just like the rest of us. The funny thing is that while you come across as modest and friendly you’re better than all of the writers on this site who come across as egotistical know-it-alls. Kudos.
Posted By: Gozzo

In a week where I was just expecting WrestleMania picks, this came as an incredibly welcome surprise. Thanks so much, Gozzo! It’s always so rewarding and humbling when someone out there seems to really get it. This is exactly how I intend to come off, not acting as if I know anything more than I actually do, shying away from commenting upon stuff about which I know nothing (like ratings and the actual nuts and bolts of constructing a match from the physical standpoint being the big top two!). The fandom thing was what I was trying to get across earlier in Commentpalooza, in that, I’m pleased to relegate myself to mark status to the end that I can still enjoy the products and become a little kid again at Draft time, though not get lost in the wonder of the magic trick, you know, and vice-versa, not “over-smarting” myself to the point such that I sit and watch the magician and announce loudly and scornfully, “THAT old trick?! I know that’s done…!” Really, thank you so much. Nice WrestleMania picks, too!

This weeks ‘McMahonagement’ count: 7
Posted By: D

This week’s ‘Pathetic nothing-better-to-do’ count: The enigmatic “D”. Wonder what that could stand for…?

I feel your pain in never truly seeing HBK. Whereas you never saw him wrestle, my only times were seeing him in the 2003 Royal Rumble (where Jericho owned him) and in an Elimination Chamber qualifier against the Big Show in 2005. Neither match allowed Shawn to show why he is the showstopper.

That being said, out of any retirement in wrestling, this one feels the most right. Undertaker essentially ended Shawn’s career the first time around with the toss onto the casket, messing up his back. Sure, his last match was to Austin, but it was Taker’s damage that got him to hang up the boots. Now here we are, 12 years later, and it’s the Undertaker ending his career again. Almost fitting in a way.

When it comes to Shawn, he is my favorite wrestler of all time, and in my opinion, the greatest wrestler of all time. I view his career similarly to my grandfather’s life. My grandfather had a major hear attack in 1988 and should not of survived. Fortunately, he did, with no long term effects. However, in 2008, he passed away in his sleep. We got 20 years we should not of gotten from him, all we can be is grateful. With Shawn, he should of been done in March of 1998. But lo and behold, he came back in 2002, and that one more match spanned nearly 8 more years. Shawn was on borrowed time to us. I send my thanks to the legend, the show stopper, the true Mr. Wrestlemania for letting us see his greatness for so long. Thank you Shawn. You are the greatest.

PS. At this point, I do not think Undertaker should ever lose at Wrestlemania. If HBK couldn’t do it with two chances, how can anyone justify someone else doing it? Even someone like Cena, who seems to be the only big name left that could have a serious shot at ending the streak. It would just lead to rage from everyone, the IWC and normal fans alike. Let Taker hit 20-0 and retire. That seems to be the best way to end his storied career.
Posted By: Beki

Looking back it seems incredible for me never to have seen HBK, considering the amount of house shows and WWE-TV events I’ve attended in my life…even back in the late ‘80s – early ‘90s when he was in The Rockers, I never saw them. I suspect they travelled with the “A” touring group, and, in Bakersfield, obviously, we got the “B” group (but, hey, that meant I got to see Tugboat in person before he debuted on WWF-TV…can you say that?! Pshaw, I thought not!). I really can’t complain considering I’ve seen virtually every other major and minor WWF/E star perform in person, it just sucks the one I never got to see ended up being my favorite. Ironically enough, and going back to the difference between the “A” and “B” touring companies in the old school WWF, the only other major star I’ve never seen in person is Hulk Hogan, who, shall we say, occupies HBK’s spot on the opposite end of the favorite spectrum.

You know, Beki, I never made the connection that Taker was directly involved both times HBK has had to leave The WWF/E, but you’re right (although, obviously, the first time around was simply an unfortunate accident). And it was right in front of my face the whole time!!! I was making the comparisons between both times the two have met, suggesting that HBK still owes Taker a win going in to WrestleMania 26 – The first trilogy of matches in late ’97 – early ’98, one way or another, yielded as many wins for Michaels, owing to the forward momentum of the fledgling degeneration-X, as well as the beginning of the Taker/Kane program. So, the Royal Rumble showdown between the two in 2007, when both were the final competitors left in the match, with Taker winning, was just desserts. Considering they had two more subsequent matches that Taker won as well evens the score between them, even if Taker’s victories meant a little more in the grand scheme. But, yes, good eye there!

Also, that was a fantastic analogy between HBK’s career and your grandfather’s life, thanks for sharing that. Having recently been rendered “grandparentless” myself, I certainly understand and appreciate the sentiment and I’m sorry for your loss, but am pleased that you and your family managed to see the gift for what it was and make the most of it!

The discussion we’ve all had leading to the Streak vs. Retirement match has caused me to rethink and update my own views on The Streak, and I now agree with you, Beki, Taker should retire with it in tact and it should be allowed to go to 20-0 at WrestleMania 28. I’d go so far as to make it known that Taker will retire WrestleMania weekend, he should go into the Hall of Fame that weekend and the event should be in Texas, maybe honor another round of the rich wrestling heritage that comes from Texas. I haven’t really done a lot of research in terms of who from Texas still deserves to be inducted, so maybe not go that whole hog, but it seems to me Taker should get a huge send-off when he finally retires.

Cena doesn’t need a(nother) title; what he needs is a goal. FINALLY defeating Batista would have been that goal. Batista’s cred as champion is now almost completely shot.

This was by far the worst result of any WrestleMania match
Posted By: AngryTas

Firstly i think they clearly missed the boat on Legacy vs Orton…Orton didn’t need the win, they should have had the Legacy boys take the pin together ala Taker & Kane vs Austin.

i think if Vince was smarter he would have had Christian win MITB and turn the World Heavy Weight match into a triple threat , since both Y2J and Edge have been more successful former tag partners and he’s sick and tired of being overlooked.

Thirdly Cena shouldn’t have won…taker hbk was more then happy to send anyone home happy. Cena Chasing the evil heel would have worked better then the evil heel needing a rematch

Sheamus should have gone over true….but since he didn’t Sheamus should have ruined HBK’s retirement angle….revving up the Sheamus HHH fued and allowing for HBK to be able to come back as a special guest ref or at least in some non wrestling position in the future
Posted By: Rosie

You know, I think you’re correct, and I would love to have seen this awesome incarnation of Batista as the champion for quite a bit longer than just that month. That’s one of the things I thought was so cheap about the way he won the belt at Elimination Chamber, even after I realized the story made perfect copasetic sense, it still ended up feeling like a hot shot title change just to get things in line for the happy-snappy WrestleMania moment.

However, if the intention is to build Edge with a slow-burn face chase, it would have felt redundant having the same basic title picture unfolding on each show, even once we did go to a triple-threat format when Jack Swagger entered the picture. Also, now that we know Big Dave plans to take some time off to shoot a movie for WWE Films and then stay away from the ring for a bit afterward (beating that inevitable muscle tear to the proverbial punch, I’m guessing), it makes a lot of sense to have seen things go down the way they did at WrestleMania, whether Cena needed another title or not. I personally don’t mind, because Cena, like it or not, is THE man in the company, and some of the possible places to take the WWET following The Draft seem amazingly fresh and intriguing.

As far as Orton going over Legacy, yes, it did seem excessive and superfluous for neither DiBiase nor Rhodes to have stepped up and scored a much-needed victory over their oppressive master at WrestleMania, but considering the way it seems they’re going, at least to me, as I describe above in the Draft discussion, it makes a lot of sense. Too, we’re seeing DiBiase being cast in the mold of his father, now that he’s The Million-Dollar Champion and referring to himself as The Fortunate Son, presumably getting a headstart to establish heel heat so that once Cody Rhodes returns from the “severe concussion” he suffered at WrestleMania, he can establish himself as a face to square off against his former partner.

The only fear I have in that scenario is that DiBiase will stand to gain more from being an actual character than will Rhodes for simply being the guy to stand up to him…does that make sense? It’s starting to feel as if Rhodes, being the logical first opponent for this new, energized DiBiase, could just be the first in a series of midcard faces to fall to DiBiase as he’s groomed for bigger things. This may all be completely unfounded, as Rhodes could simply be headed for SmackDown!, as I suggest above…I’m just looking into a few possibilities in this respect.

I’d have had no qualms with Christian having been insinuated into the World Title picture, and you were on the right track in terms of the triple-threat situation coming to pass on Fridays, but, on the other side of the coin, as much as I think Christian is meant for bigger and better things than that which he’s doing right now, it does make for better business sense to elevate one of the kids towards the goal of establishing a long-term franchise player, hopefully, in Swagger.

In a way, you were right about Sheamus ruining a moment for HHH along the lines of HBK’s retirement, but I do not support him having interfered in the actual farewell address itself. Attacking Tri when and how he did was more than sufficient and, for once, Cole Slaw and The King did a great job of selling it. This sets up the Extreme Rules match quite well and logically (and, boy, has Sheamus’ confidence improved on the mic as a result of this program!). I’d like to see Tri take the match after a grueling bout, but for Sheamus to jump him after the fact and really lay into HHH, leading to an injury angle for The Game, such that Sheamus looks as tough and for real as he tells us he is, running rampant over Raw till HHH returns at SummerSlam to gain some revenge. By then, Sheamus will be due for an asswhipping and, if all goes to plan, has been booked strongly enough such that he can take the loss on the chin, but come back fighting another day without looking like he got cowed (sorry, Vickie).

I think a great way to continue this Rey and Punk feud is for Rey to lose the exact same type of match next month because Rey STILL wants to make him pay for doing that to his family. However, Punk wins this time and compares Rey being addicted with attacking Punk to being addicted to drugs. Rey’s forced to join the Straight Edge Society but Punk “allows” him to keep his mask and he end up being someone who reluctantly helps Punk for the next couple of months until he screws up and/or attacks Punk out of frustration, leading to Punk telling him he now has to remove his mask. This leads to a match where if Rey wins can leave the straight edge society and of course has to remove his mask if he loses. Rey wins that match, end of feud.
Posted By: Detective Big Lantern Ghost

I think this would be a fantastic way to go, except that it doesn’t seem as if Mysterio having to join SES is on the line in the Extreme Rules match, just that Punk goes bald if he loses to Mysterio, which seems lop-sided and unfair. I’ve heard rumors that Punk and SES will be headed to Raw as a result of The Draft, which makes sense…why would Vince allow such a hot act to fester on the lowly “B” show (I hope you caught the sarcasm implicit in that comment)…? This will also be a great opportunity for Punk to flourish in this fantastic new role, and the program against Cena over The WWET could be a BLAST…I just have reservations that the Raw writing team has the chops to handle writing this story with the same elegance and flair exhibited by SD!’s, but I think we shall see. All that to say, Punk with the moustache and beard debuting on Raw with a shaved head and those eyes…really, all he’d need is a swastika tattooed on his forehead to complete the transformation.

“So we’re calling the duo of Michelle McCool and Layla El “Way Cool”?”

Please tell me that was a typo because they have been called ‘LayCool’ for a long ass time.
Posted By: Fro

it’s team “Le Cool” or “Lay Cool”

in honor of LAYla and michelle McCOOL
Posted By: Guest#9968

Hand to God, I have never heard them referred to as “Le Cool”/”Lay Cool”, honest. And if I have, I didn’t hear it correctly. Good lord, it’s starting…the hearing is beginning to go…! Sorry for the error and thanks for putting me right!

Daniels cant do this gimmick. Thats 100% CM Punk’s gimmick right now.
Posted By: Guest#5714

Daniels as #19 – would be tremendous. However, there is one small problem – could a guy Daniel’s size ever be booked to look really competitive with the Deadman at that level?

Or would the match be as one sided as Undertaker vs an egg?
Posted By: Loki

It always amuses me to see deluded internet marks doing their crappy fantasy booking. Daniels joining Smackdown and going straight into a feud with Undertaker, leading up to a match at Wrestlemania??? What the hell are you talking about??? This is never going to happen, for a start Taker is about twice the height of Daniels and thus Daniels would NEVER look credible.

Also, if you think WWE are going to push an ex-TNA/ROH guy (who has never drawn a dime) straight off the bat you are deluded. If they were to pick Daniels up, expect him to see him on NXT as ‘Daniel Christopher’ looking like a jobber.

Face it, as much as the IWC loves to jack off over Bryan Danielson, Christopher Daniels and all the other vanilla midgets, they are simply NOT big enough to look legitimate when they are in the ring with WWE’s huge, larger-than-life main eventers. That is just the way it is, and you fags need to accept that these spot monkeys are destined to either work in crappy indy feds or get paid to job to the real stars in the big-leagues.
Posted By: Guest#7499

Christopher Daniels-6’0 225lbs/Shawn Michaels-6’1 220lbs.
Posted By: the danger stranger

Regarding Daniels, I still maintain that he would go nowhere in WWE. He’s far from the blank slate that they prefer their new prospects to be nowadays. He doesn’t have the biceps to hang with the top guys, and I can’t even see a solid spot for him in WWE’s midcard, for a couple reasons. Basically, anything that I could envision WWE using Daniels for, they already have somebody in that role. Would he be a solid addition to the midcard heels? Of course, but so would any number of midcard babyfaces that should still be heel anyway, like Morrsion or MVP.

Personally, I’m just thankful (selfishly, sure) to see the Fallen Angel back in ROH. They could certainly use him, in this precarious phase of their company’s development, and what’s more: they WILL use him!
Posted By: KanyonKreist

5714, I see your point, although there is a difference, in that, I see The Fallen Angel character as standing alone, not petitioning for followers. My thought was just that Daniels would proclaim himself the dark lord of WWE or some such thing, when, obviously, everyone is thinking, “Uhh, hello, Taker…”, but, as Daniels continues to rack up victories (and not just winning, but really laying hurt into those he vanquishes), Taker is nowhere to be found…until finally we hear The Bong of Doom and the fans go nuts, because, finally, here comes the REAL master to set this pompous overlord straight.

This was all I meant to suggest, and it was intended to be just that, a suggestion. It literally just popped into my head as I was asking for opinions on the possibility of Daniels’ coming to WWE, it wasn’t, as some folks decided to take it, as some master plan I’d been plotting for months, like this self-righteous assclown 7499…or should I say, Michael Cole…? Nice point, BTW, Danger Stranger!

Kanyon, as usual, you make a very valid point, and one I hadn’t considered, in terms of anything WWE might have for Daniels, there’s already someone employed who can handle that role. I was going to suggest that…hmm, no, that’s Christian’s gig. Oh, but, hey, how about…ah, right…John Morrison.

So then allow me to bring this up. Someone astutely pointed out that, with the demise of ECW (to say nothing of the impending three or four guys likely to end up on either Raw or SmackDown! once NXT wraps), WWE’s sporting a pretty bloated roster right now. What’s the feeling on WWE picking up anyone who leaves TNA? If, say, Samoa Joe disagreed with the way The Hogan/Bischoff Regime handles his character and he decides to send out feelers to WWE over possible employment, would Vince be open for discussion, or would he disguise his voice when Joe came knocking and say, “Nobody home!” What about D’Angelo Dinero?

I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that they’re pushing the way wrong guy as a result of this CrymeTyme break-up. Shad is a big, slow, apathetic dude who couldn’t get himself over with a solid gimmick (yeah, I said it) and a relative wealth of TV exposure. When people say “Cryme Tyme connects with the audience”, they’re referring to JTG. When people praise Cryme Tyme for making the most of their gimmick and their exposure, credit once again is due to JTG. J is a solid, albeit still green in-ring performer with a lot more talent on the mic than Gaspard. If I believed in guarantees, I would stamp one on the claim that big Shad’s singles career is not going to last a year. Sorry, big guy…
Posted By: KanyonKreist

You know, Double K, I was totally right there with you until I saw Gaspard’s promo the week after he lost that tag match quicker than it takes Steve Cook to shoot in his underpants when he handles a pair of water balloons. Did he set the world on fire with his clever delivery? No, but was he a damn site better than anyone really thought he was going to be? Absofrigginlutely. Come on, admit it, how many of you totally cringed when saw him walk to the ring and pick up the mic? And how many of you afterward were like, “Damn…not bad, Shad…not bad at all.” And then cringed again when he wiped that Timbaland across the face of his former partner when he rushed the ring?

Not that Vince needs to start looking for a companion yacht to The Sexy Bitch in anticipation of all the cash Gaspard’s solo career is going to make him, but I think we all may have misjudged Brooklyn’s Beast and that he’s perhaps a bigger singles threat than any of us had imagined he might be? I, for one, hope so. Or Double K could be right and he could be tagging with Vladimir Kozlov inside a few months, jobbing to The Miz.

BTW, if you had your own yacht, what would you call it? Or, for those of you who already own one, what’s it called? I think I’d have to name mine The Cheeky Spliff.

Tip on skins. Stop after season 2, it rapidly goes downhill from there.
Posted By: JBL

skins is so fucking terrible.
Posted By: gooched

word of warning geoff; don’t bother with skins after the second series. they change the cast of characters (except for toby’s sister effy) and all of them are either knobs or useless fools. but i applaude you for once again giving british tv it’s due.
Posted By: DaJ

Skins is shit.
Posted By: That is All

well done on finding Skins, brillaint show which I’ve been addicted to for ages, just to wet the mouth a bit, the next two series just finished airing over here and are better than the first two!
Posted By: macca

It just blows me away that some dickweed is going to log onto a wrestling column and have absolutely nothing to offer in kind, except to slag a TV show. Thanks for the effort. Had your fathers the same quality of motivation, you’d have been tossed out smeared on a tissue.

JBL, Mecca and DaJ, thanks for the good word, all. I finished “Generation One” of Skins and am positively obsessed. I don’t know exactly what it was that made me care and identify with the bulk of those characters, but there were some episodes that became incredibly emotional for me, belly-laughing at one point, positively sobbing at another. When Sid’s dad dies after finally having stood up to his obnoxious father and with things looking up for reconciling his marriage, I swear, I was reduced to a blubbering little ninny on my sofa.
I don’t know if you guys have Netflix in The UK, but that’s my DVD rental service, thus, how I was able to see the first two series’. They haven’t picked up Series Three yet, though it’s in my reserve queue. I’m not sure how I feel about having to get to know an entirely new cast, but for the brilliant Effie, especially as I’d grown to care so profoundly for the last one, with the exception of that buck-toothed freak-show Cassie. Obviously, for the character to really come alive the way she did, she had to have been played with care and eloquence by Hannah Murray, but she went from being a mild annoyance I sorda felt sorry for to being someone I would much rather have seen Sid shove of the cliffs at Dover as follow to fucking America to find! I’d have been stoked if the last we saw of her was at the end of the next-to-last episode where she used those Nosferatu teeth to bite into that apple, then descend into anguished sobs. A fitting end for someone who obviously was dialing suicide hotline numbers in her diapers.

I must say though, the idea of Effie leading the cast on her own intrigues me. She’s a fantastic character, wise enough, I think, not to follow Tony’s path to self-destruction, though still naïve in some ways such that the whole “kidnapping” thing at the end of Series One could still happen. Plus, she’s a hell of a good-looking young lady! Lord knows, I’m much more in it for Tony (and Sid…and Maxxie…), but when she’s all dolled up and turns on that sexy predator part of her personality, even I feel a little dirty.

Anyway, just wanted to wrap up our little discussion on Skins now that I’ve finished “Generation One”. I can’t believe I met Tony before I’d seen this…! Actually, though, upon reflection, it’s probably better that I did…for both of us!

That’s all for this week…thanks for reading and enjoy The Draft! Come back next week to discuss the fall-out and where we go from there!
RESPEEEEECK!!!