411’s WWE Raw Report 07.30.07

Good evening, boys and girls, and welcome to Raw Report. I’m Daniel Wilcox and I’ll be your host. Quick explaination for my absence last week: flooding. I told you it was quick. Either way if you want more details of what was going on then you’ll have to read my column tomorrow. Now let’s get down to business.

Tonight on Monday Night Raw;

Royal Battle of the Kings: Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler vs. King Booker – Who will reign supreme over the Raw kingdom?

The Road to Summerslam Continues – How will John Cena react to Randy Orton’s attack last week as the two continue their collision course to Summerslam?

All this and much more on tonight’s Monday Night Raw!

The show starts… NOW!

Cue WWE intro. We see clips from last week when Jonathan Coachman named Randy Orton the number one contender for Summerslam, and Orton laid out John Cena with an RKO. Am I the only one having problems with the picture?

Promo – WWE Champion John Cena

Jerry Lawler and JR are with us from Tucson, Arizona. Massive pop for the champ. They are fired up. They are going to have a title match at The Biggest Party of the Summer. He says Orton is for real and is well prepared. He’s read the first chapter of the number one contender’s playbook, make a statement. Khali did it, Lashley did it and now Orton did it. He says he should have seen it coming. Cena tells Orton to go to the last chapter. The ending has been the same since September and it is only 4 words long… The Champ is…

Carlito is out here now. It’s Cena’s lucky night as he is the first guess on the new and improved Carlito’s Cabana! Stage hands bring out the props for the Cabana complete with palm trees and hammock. Carlito tells Cena to get comfortable so he takes a seat. Carlito wants to ask an important question: what does it feel like to be a liar. He doesn’t win every championship match he is in. When Carlito debuted, he beat Cena for the US Championship. Cena’s all like, dude, you did and in my own hometown too. Then his gang jumped him in a night club. It was 3 years ago when Britney Spears was still hot and Michael Jackson wasn’t creepy and Abe Lincoln was still around and Lindsay Lohan was doing her first line. He did Cena wrong that night but it’s a big night and the cabana is back. He’s proud to be the first guest and Cena toasts the cabana. Carlito says he has his number. He’s tired of Orton getting everything handed to him and Carlito should be number one contender.

Mr. Kennedy is out now and he’s had enough. Carlito is pathetic. Kennedy says Carlito has apples but no grape fruits. No one invited Kennedy, but he says it’s his ring and he’s been overlooked and should have been named number one contender the moment he got here. They go back and forth but Cena has left the ring and Cena says Orton should be number one contender because he deserves it. He earned his spot. You don’t become number one contender with a microphone falling from the ceiling. Cena tells Kennedy to step up and challenge Bobby Lashley. Kennedy says he will. Cena tells Carlito he’s done nothing in three years. You want to be in the main event so tonight it will be Carlito vs. Cena and he tells him to come prepared or he’ll shove his apples up his cabana. Tremendous performance on the mic by all involved though Cena was particularly awesome.

Tonight it will be Booker vs. Lawler!

Commercial break.

We’re back with Melina, Beth Phoenix and Jillian Hall!

6 Person Diva Tag Match: Melina, Beth Phoenix and Jillian Hall vs. Maria, Mickie James, and Candice Michelle

Santino is out here with Maria. Melina is yawning. You’re not the only one, love. Maria and Beth start it out and Maria comes out with kicks before tagging Mickie who comes off the top striking the arm of Beth. She gets overpowered into the corner and Melina comes in but gets whipped into the corner and eats a back elbow. Mickicanana by James and she gets a clothesline. Tag to Candice now and they mess up a double team. Candice with a over the top face buster. Candice got kicked in the back and slammed. Hall in and gets a handspring elbow for 2. JR has been confusing Hall and Phoenix all match. Russian leg sweep and a tag to Maria who takes out Melina with a bulldog for 2. It’s broken up by Hall. Candice in and cuts off Phoenix. Double team face buster on Maria gets 3 for Melina. Can you say sloppy? 1/2*

Winners: Hall, Phoenix and Melina

Just in case you’d forgotten, he is The Game! And you can bet he’s back! He has no remorse or conscience and he will stop at nothing. He’s back.

Commercial break.

We’re back with Santino in the ring with a mic. He can’t-a believe-a what he’s seeing today-a. He can’t-a believe-a the cheating going on-a. It’s worse than the NBA-a. He berates the referee. Umaga is out. Why is the music playing-a? I don’t want to talk about this guy-a. I want to talk about-a Maria. Get rid of him. He has something to say about the cheating. The referee rings the bell and we have a match.

Umaga vs. Santino Marella

Umaga beats him down in the corner and nails the ASSALANCHE! Urange by Umaga but he lifts Marella. SAMOAN SPIKE and it’s over. ** for comedy alue.

Winner – Umaga

The Grish is in the back with King Booker. Booker berates Grish for calling Lawler King. He hopes Trips is watching on the “telly.” He wants him to see Jerome bow down before the one and only, the benevolent, King Booker. Tremendous.

Commercial break. By the way, Santino’s promo is a shoe-in for promo of the year, although not for the reasons WWE would like. That was the most unintentionally funny thing I have seen on Raw for a long time.

Coach is on his phone in the back. Cody Rhodes is here. Coach was shocked by what happened last week. He makes Rhodes watch it again. I think Cody has a black eye. Coach asks how Dusty he is. How do you think? Coach doesn’t want that to happen to Cody. If he lays one finger on Orton, he will not have a career here. He hasn’t exactly been successful as of yet. He has to win. Tonight he has a match and it’s next. If he wins Coach will let him stay, if not, he’ll let him go. Cody’s all like,‘K, ta’ and walks off.

The Grish is with Orton. He congratulates him. Orton thanks him. No one wants to get in the ring with him. History will repeat itself because it was at Summerslam he won his first world title (no mention of Benoit). Sgt. Slaughter is here. Orton’s a maggot and he’s dismissed. Orton agrees to a match tonight.

Tonight – Lashley vs. Mr. Kennedy and John Cena vs. Carlito.

Commercial break.

Cody Rhodes vs. Daivari

Daivari runs his mouth, not that anyone can understand him, but it draws heat so it’s all-good. Cody interrupts. Daivari attacks and thrusts Rhodes in the corner but Cody comes back with rights and takes Daivari into the corner and back drops Daivari. Daivari sends Rhodes into the second turnbuckle and hits a neckbreaker for a count of 2. Snapmare by Daivari and now he grabs a chinlock. Cody avoids a clothesline and gets one of his own and fires off, then hits a crossbody for 2. Daivari begs off goes for a kick and gets caught with a bulldog for a very near fall. Irish whip by roots but he runs into an elbow. Snap powerslam by Rhodes. DDT by Rhodes and that’s it! **1/2

Winner – Cody Rhodes

In the back, Lashley walks!

Commercial break. Good show so far with some really nice promo work. Cody looked really good against Daivari and showed signs of excellence.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Bobby Lashley

Kennedy gets on the mic. The real number one contender, Mister Kennedy… Lashley’s music interrupts. They lock up and Kennedy goes behind but gets taken down, and again. Kennedy gets to the ropes. Kennedy with a cheap shot but Lashley fires off and backs Kennedy into the corner. Kennedy gets caught on Lashley’s shoulders but he slides out only to get decked by a right hand. Torture rack. Delayed vertical suplex by Lashley now. He sets for a spear but Kennedy bails out. Lashley goes out and gets booted and falls against the steps. Kennedy stomps on Lashley while on the steps. Back in and Lashley’s shoulder is hurting him. Kennedy gets right back on him with kicks and now working the left shoulder with an arm wrench. Lashley refuses to give up. Lashley powers out and runs into a big boot. Kennedy gets caught on the top but Kennedy hangs Lashley’s shoulder over the top rope for 2. Kennedy with clubbing shots to the shoulder. Kennedy back on the assault and the referee has to ask Lashley if he wants to give it up and the answer is no. Kennedy with a key lock working the shoulder, only for Lashley to power out and clothesline Kennedy in the corner. Big knock down by Lashley. Shot by Knnedy but he gets back dropped. Lashley runs into a knee going for a spear. Kennedy goes for a pin and gets the clean 3 count! **1/2

Winner – Mr. Kennedy!

Kennedy has a mic. He is your winner.

…Kennedy!

Referees are out here now to help Lashley out.

Cena vs. Carlito is tonight.

Commercial break.

Snitsky. That’s his name. He has learned that everyone experiences pleasure differently. His matches give him pleasure. Feet used to give him pleasure, but let’s not mention that.

We see clips of what happened before the break, and during the break Lashley was helped to the back.

We actually get a highlight reel of the Booker/Lawler feud over the term ‘King’ being thrown around.

The Royal Battle of Kings: Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler vs. King Booker

King Booker makes his way down to the ring as we head to another…
Commercial break.

And we’re back

Clips on HHH injury. Apparently they can rebuild him, better than before. Faster, stronger and he’s returning at Summerslam. Oh…there is only one king of Kings.

King Booker is not pleased. Here comes the Hall of Famer, Jerry Lawler. Booker stretches and here we go. They go nose to nose and Booker talks trash. Lawler with a left jab and Booker backs off. They tie up and Booker takes Lawler into the corner, no clean break but Lawler blocks and fires off with right hands. Booker is stunned. “Jerry” chants from Arizona. Thumb to the eye by Booker and a chop by Booker takes Lawler down. Heel kicks misses and Lawler comes at Booker with rights and drops him in the corner. Irish whip but Lawler walks into a reverse elbow and a reverse heel kick by Booker gets 2. Mounted punches by King Booker, and a shot to the back of the head. Booker poses to boos. Booker misses the scissors kick and Lawler pulls the strap down and connects with right hand after right hand. Lawler drops an elbow on Booker for 3 but Booker’s foot was on the rope! Shuffle sidekick by Booker catches Lawler and now Booker with stomps and chops in the corner. Right hands in the corner and the referee disqualifies Booker. *3/4

Winner – Jerry Lawler

Booker continues the assault in the corner. Booker leaves but Lawler comes up the ramp and knocks Booker on his ass.

And we hit commercials.

Yo, yo, yo, yo! Pop a 40 and check your rollies, it’s Cryme Tyme!

Cryme Tyme (JTG and Shad) vs. John Mason and Brandon Gaston

Can you say ‘squash’? No? Then pay attention. JTG starts with I believe, Brandon. Side headlock and a hip toss on Mason, actually. Gatson in now and Shad in. Clothesline on Gatson followed by a snap powerslam. Mason in and gets clotheslined. JTG tagged in and they hit the G9 for the win. Wonderful. 1/4*

Winners – Cryme Tyme

JTG on the mic. Yo. Yo. Yo. Yo, J, they up in the Az. Money, money, yeah, yeah! This is mildly entertaining. Shad and JTG steal the jobbers boot. They white but they got some black soul. I get it. The bidding starts at $10,000. No ATM cards. There’s no bids so they lower it to $5,000. No credit cards. Shad’s getting crazy. $2,000. Hold up, he’s going crazy – $1,000! But wait, there’s more. This is the Cryme Tyme shopping network. They sign the boots and give them out for $40 bucks. That’s how they do. If you desire it, Cryme Tyme acquire it. Absolutely marvellous, seriously, that was awesome.

Orton walks backstage!

Commercial break.

We come back to a commercial for Summerslam. 4 weeks away.

Jerry Lawler is back on commentary.

Randy Orton vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Orton goes low and beats up on Slaughter in the corner. JR calls it a mean streak, I call it heel offence 101. Orton takes out Slaughter’s leg and now methodically beating him up. Reverse chin lock. Never saw that one coming. Slaughter tries to fight out but Orton wrenches it in. Slaughter elbows out but gets taken down with clubbing blows. Orton runs into a clothesline and Slaughter locks in the cobra clutch. Orton reaches for the ropes and gets there. Head butt by Orton and there’s the RKO for the academic win. *

Winner – Randy Orton

Orton doesn’t look done and he punts Slaughter into the 3rd row ringside. The referees are out to prevent him doing more damage. Slaughter gets a stretcher job.

Commercial break. This punting guys in the head stuff will get old if they let Orton do it week in, week out. Keep it limited and only do it to guys that really matter, not people who only show up once in a blue moon like Slaughter. It was OK with Rhodes because it was a part of a feud.

Back with replays of what just went down. Orton is still at ringside and wants to watch the main event.

Carlito vs. John Cena

Obviously the title is not on the line in this one. Lilian looks hot tonight, by the way. They lock up and go to the corner where Cena gets in Carlito’s face, acting all smug like. Cena’s feeling it. Side headlock by the champion now and Cena gives Carlito a noogie. They lock up again and Cena gets a drop toe hold and goes for the STFU but he escapes. Carlito goes low with a kick to the gut and fires off with left hands taking Cena into the crner. Irish whip reversed and a bulldog by Cena. Reverse elbow now by Cena and Carlito bails. Cena follows but gets caught sliding back in by Carlito. Carlito again gets countered and back dropped . Right by Cena, and another. Fisherman suplex by the champion who now stares down Orton. Carlito comes back with big fists but gets caught by a sidewalk slam from Cena. Whip by Cena and a big clothesline takes down Carlito. Into the corner now and Carlito avoids a charge and hits a swinging neckbreaker for a 2 count. Mounted punches by Carlito now as the fans get behind Cena. Another near fall for Carlito. Neck vice applied by Carlito and he wrenches back on that neck with the knee posted in the upper back of Cena. Cena gets up to his feet and forces a break by pulling Carlito’s hands apart. Cena nails the throwback perfectly. Shoulder block, and another one. Spin out side slam and Cena says you can’t see me. Orton Is on the apron and Carlito sneaks up and hits the Back Stabber for the 3! Carlito spits apple in Cena’s face. **1/4

Winner – Carlito

Cena is pissed. Carlito is happy. Orton is out of here.

Thoughts: Good mix of wrestling in the main event, Cody’s match and Kennedy/Lashley, with some good promo work at the top of the show. There wasn’t much build to Summerslam other than the main event, but there are still 4 weeks left so it’s not too much of a problem yet.