411’s NWA TNA PPV Report 04.07.04

Of course I’m late, this is the NHL playoffs. I hope you read our great NHL playoffs preview at 411black. I hope you read it even though I’ll probably only get two predictions right. Anyway, I think that Randle, Helm and I did a very solid job.

This is Dave Gagnon, this is TNA, April 7th 2004. This will be short but not very sweet.

This is another Americas Cup, this time it’s Mexico defending against The United Kingdom. Next month: Mexico defends against Belarus.

Your hosts are Mike Tenay and SCREAMING DON WEST.

Opening Match: Aguila vs Xtreme Dean. He’s not only Dean, he is XTREME! The thing is, most of these UK guys are scrubs that you could probably see for 5$ at your local gym. Aguila won with a split-legged moonsault for Team Mexico.
WINNER: AGUILA

Raven talked about his upcoming contender match with Chris Harris. He *will* be the next champion, damn it. Raven’s character is much more effective as a heel.

Second Match: Heavy Metal vs Robbie Dynamite
Heavy Metal replace Juventud Guerrera. Guerrera probably found another way to piss off a promoter. Quick match that lasted 4 minutes. It’s hard to care. Robbie Dynamite took this name in honor of Dynamite Kid. Well, he’s no Dynamite Kid, that’s for sure. Heavy Metal won with la magistral. Will Mexico ever lose?
WINNER: HEAVY METAL

Chris Harris replied to Raven with his comments. Harris proved that he could be a good singles wrestler but he is not exactly the most compelling character in TNA. Harris and Raven will fight and the winner will face Jarrett in the tallest cage in wrestling.

Third Match: Hector Garza vs Frankie Sloan
Yeah, Frankie Sloan. This is truly star power. The match lasted about 10 minutes. Sloan worked on Garza’s leg most of the match but Mexico is just too damn strong. Garza came back to win with a corkscrew press.
WINNER: HECTOR GARZA

David Taylor is chewing out the UK team. They trail 3-0, they are worse than the Toronto Maple Leafs. Ha Ha Ha. Taylor is afraid of the Queen’s reaction to their loss. She should be worried about other things. More important things. Like Al Quaeda. When I watched Taylor I said to myself “Too bad he is not Regal”. Between Eugene and Team UK, I’d probably pick the window licker. Maybe it’s just me.

Fourth Match: James Mason vs Abismo Negro.
Well yes, we paid 10 bucks to see Mason vs Negro.
Taylor took matters in his own hands and interfered in the match with a british flag. Mason then locked on a cross-face chicken wing for the submission win. Bob Backlund must be proud. The UK finally won a match.
WINNER: JAMES MASON

Kid Kash and Dallas talked smack to Christoper Daniels and Low Ki.

Fifth Match: Hector Garza and Aguila vs Robbie Dynamite and Frankie Sloan
Much better match. Lasted about 10 minutes. Garza sold the leg injury even though the match was probably taped one week after his first match. Now that’s dedication to your craft. Team UK, of course, worked on the knee. David Taylor once again interfered with the flag, attacking Aguila, allowing Sloan to get the pin. The UK is coming back!
WINNERS: Team UK

Christopher Daniels and Low-Ki insisted that Triple X are not coming back, they are just trying to get the tag team title belts. Take that, Elix!

Sixth Match: Heavy Metal and Abismo Negro vs XTreme Dean and James Mason
Good match, lasted about 8 minutes. Once again, Taylor and interfered. This time he delivered a shoulderbreaker to Negro while the referee was distracted. Mason again locked on a cross-face chicken wing and made Negro tap out. Mason has Negro’s number.
WINNERS: TEAM UK

Jeff Jarrett cut a promo concerning his next challenger. The question is: who will job to Jarrett? Harris or Raven?

Seventh Match: Team Mexico vs Team U.K.
Pretty good match. Lasted 12:30. Taylor was once again at ringside with his team. He interfered again. He tripped Heavy Metal, allowing Dynamite to pin him and bring the score to 3-7. Negro eliminated Dean with a tombstone piledriver to make it 5-7. Taylor was about to interfere again, but Heavy Metal chased him back to the dressing room. Aguila delivered a split-legged moonsault to Sloan to even the score, 7-7. Garza and Aguila then hit a double moonsault on Mason and Dynamite to make the final score 11-7. Nice finish. Team Mexico wins again so I guess that when they’ll lose, it will mean something. However, they defeated a bunch of nobodies today so I doubt people care much about the result.
WINNERS: TEAM TNA

NEXT WEEK!
Sabu vs Monte Brown…the rematch. This time, it’s for money!

Simon Diamond and Johnny Swinger EXPLODE when…er…Simon Diamond face Johnny Swinger.

Frankie Kazarian vs That Poor Guy Sonjay Dutt.

Chris Harris’ partner, Marty Jannetty…I mean…James Storm will face Jeff Jarrett.

Chris Harris will face Raven in the main event with the winner facing Jarrett in the tallest cage in the world!

Eight Match: Kid Kash & Dallas vs Christopher Daniels & Low-Ki
Winners are the the NWA tag team champions. Dallas is from Texas. No kidding. Okay match. Kash wrestled early. Dallas came in and no-sold most of the offense. After some double-teaming, Daniels and Ki finally had the upper hand. Kash smacked Ki with a chair and then threw it to Daniels. That sneaky bastard. As you can imagine, when Ki saw Daniels holding the chair, he thought his partner was the one who had hit him. Ki got Dallas back in the ring and worked him over with more kicks. Kash used a pipe on his two opponents. Then Dallas executed his flipping powerbomb on Low-Ki for the win. I would have picked Daniels and Ki instead but maybe they have a storyline in mind. And Kid Kash is a great heel. Kid Kash and Dallas are your new tag team champions.

It’s was Americas Cup and I was in a hurry so sorry for the short report. The show was really average tonight with nothing to get excited about.

I’ll be back in top shape next week. Until TNA has a TV deal.

Until then, GO HABS GO!

Gags