The Chrononaut Chronicles: WCW Main Event – 8/6/95

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The Chrononaut Chronicles
WCW Main Event – August 6, 1995

– Main Event was WCW’s weekly Sunday afternoon/evening program, usually airing at 5:05 or 6:05 Eastern on TBS, and eventually they had the bright idea to use it as a lead-in for their Sunday events, as the WWF later did with Sunday Night Heat. LIVE from Daytona Beach, Florida, this is WCW Main Event! In the brief opening video, Hulk Hogan shows off his world-class acting skills as he does his best to emote after his recent run-ins with the Dungeon of Doom. Tonight, the Hulkster has vowed to meet and defeat any member of the Dungeon. No, not on the Clash, but here on this warm-up show. Did WCW finally figure out that nobody wanted to watch Hogan wrestle?

AC-TING!

– Eric Bischoff and Dusty Rhodes are your hosts and since the show is built around Hulk Hogan, they bring out Randy Savage to join them on commentary due to his extensive knowledge of the Hulkster. The Macho Man claims that we are seeing a different Hogan than he has ever seen in his life.

– Big Bubba Rogers vs. Johnny B. Badd

Returning to the persona that first brought him national attention in the mid ’80s, Big Bubba Rogers is a gun-for-hire and wrestles in a dress shirt, pants, and suspenders after turning heel at the last Clash. Johnny B. Badd uses his superior speed and agility early on as he dropkicks Bubba out of the ring and follows up by debuting the somersault plancha that Savage informs us is called the “Badd Mood”. Bubba reverses a whip into the ringpost and takes control, but Johnny outsmarts him by holding onto the ropes when Bubba scoops him up for a bodyslam. As Bubba pulls away from the ropes, he loses his balance and Badd lands on top of Rogers for the 1-2-3 at 3:14. * Nothing notable aside from the first appearance of the somersault plancha that became a regular part of Marc Mero’s arsenal.

– Mean Gene Okerlund interviews Kevin Sullivan in the locker room. When asked which Dungeon of Doom member he will be throwing at Hulk Hogan, the Taskmaster is evasive and relates a story about his own mother telling Kevin he was “just no good” as she lay on her deathbed. Sullivan promises that Hogan won’t make it to the Dungeon later. So basically, they’re using a match on the pregame show to build up to one of those god-awful “Hogan visits the Dungeon” vignettes on the Clash. Bizarre.

– Los Especialistas vs. The Nasty Boys (Saggs & Knobbs)

The commentators claim to know nothing about the masked Especialistas and refer to them as unknowns, but they seem to have some degree of tag team expertise as they control Knobbs with double-teams after jumping the Nasty Boys before the opening bell. Knobbs finally avoids a double-team and tags Saggs as the Nasties double-pin Los Especialistas in 2:46 after simultaneous elbowdrops. Afterward, the Nasties pull off the masks and the Especialistas are identified as the Barrio Brothers, an infamous duo who have been banned from arenas around the world. In reality, they were veteran journeyman jobbers Ricky Santana and Fidel Sierra, who had both been getting their asses kicked for years on TBS. *

Don’t worry, guys, nobody knows who the hell you are anyway.

– Flyin’ Brian vs. Marcus Alexander Bagwell

Still a babyface, Brian Pillman has at least moved into the short-hair-and-long-tights phase of his career. For those keeping track, Flyin’ Brian hasn’t appeared on a Clash since January of 1994 in a comedy match against Col. Parker. Just incredible how badly WCW pissed away his talent. In retaliation for his shoddy treatment, Brian got fat and kinda lazy since that seemed to be a requirement to get a push in WCW. Due to their friendship, Pillman and Marcus Bagwell work a fast-paced, clean babyface match as Bagwell tries to beat Pillman at his own game by employing an aerial strategy. After a slingshot plancha to the outside, Bagwell comes back in with a missile dropkick off the top turnbuckle, but Pillman meets him in mid-air with a dropkick of his own. They trade two-counts and Marcus Alexander relies on his strength advantage as he drops Brian with a press slam into a backbreaker for a near-fall. Brian responds with a wicked tornado DDT for a close near-fall and climbs up top, but Marcus brings him crashing down with a superplex for another close count. To show how well they know each other and how similar they are, they run the ropes and collide in mid-air when both men go for a crossbody. They collapse in a heap and Pillman ends up on top of Bagwell to score the pinfall at 4:28. *** This turned out to be a pretty good little match that told a story between two friends and occasional tag team partners, featuring some nifty moves and solid psychology. Probably better than anything that will be on the actual Clash. I expected some hint of the heel turn to come, but Pillman helps Bagwell up after the match and winks at the camera in full babyface mode.

This is basically what WCW had done to Brian’s career.

– Kamala (w/The Taskmaster) vs. Hulk Hogan (w/Jimmy Hart)

Billed as “The Ugandan Warrior” because WCW already had a Giant and “Headhunter” was probably too violent for the kiddie crowd they were catering to, Kamala was delivered in a puff of smoke to Kevin Sullivan by The Master (portrayed with incredible zeal by Hawaiian legend King Curtis Iaukea) in a ridiculous skit that lifted heavily from the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers TV series. This is something that has to be seen to be believed. No, really, watch it. Now. Seriously. I’ll wait.

Dungeon of Doom:Kamala by Stinger1981

In terms of attracting a youthful audience, blatantly ripping off a popular kids’ show like the Power Rangers might not have been the worst idea, but this whole angle had to be the final stake in the heart for the older WCW diehards. A couple of years removed from serving as the WWF’s largest jobber and most pathetic babyface, Kamala is supposed to be a deadly threat again as WCW attempted to revive his sagging career. If his upper-card heel push didn’t mean that homegrown talent like Steve Austin got overshadowed, it might be admirable since James Harris was such a nice guy outside the ring and incredibly effective in his performance of the character. Anyway, when Hulk Hogan comes out, he is wearing facepaint like Kamala (no dice on the torso paint, though) and slaps his belly before charging down the aisle. As soon as Hogan hits the ring, Kamala is all over the WCW World Heavyweight Champion–oh yeah, even though it’s barely referenced, Hulk is the champ and this evidently is a non-title bout–and dominates him until Hogan no-sells a bodyslam. The Hulkster punches and bites and scratches Kamala, threatens the referee for trying to do his job, and wonders why he can’t get over as a babyface with anybody older than eight. The tide turns when the Ugandan Warrior comes back with shots to the throat and the Taskmaster chokes Hogan with Kamala’s staff, and the punishment continues as Hogan absorbs a throat-based thrashing from Kamala. A big splash barely earns a two-count before Hogan pops up and we get the whole Hulk-up routine that culminates in the big boot and the legdrop. The Taskmaster climbs up the turnbuckles to interfere, but Hogan slams him down and slugs away on Sullivan and Kamala, as well as two other Dungeon of Doom members that run in: Zodiac (Ed “Brutus Butcher Man With No Name Beefcake” Leslie) and The Shark, formerly known as Avalanche. Since the Hulkster’s ego won’t allow him to be rescued by another man, he effortlessly fends off the top heel troupe all by himself as Sting and Randy Savage race out for the anticlimactic and unnecessary save. ¾* The usual formulaic Hogan match, complete with unconvincing offense and Hulk getting himself over as a superhero at the expense of everyone around him.

Even Kamala knows what’s coming, and he can’t even remember how to pin his opponents.

– While the Macho Man and Sting stand around and look irrelevant, Hulk Hogan poses and flexes and mugs for the crowd like the glorywhore he is. Mean Gene comes out to interview WCW’s version of the Superfriends and the Hulkster is confident that his sidekicks have his back. Sting and Savage talk about Hogan visiting the Dungeon of Doom on his own later tonight, and Okerlund implores us to kick back on the sofa and stay tuned to TBS for the Clash of the Champions!

Pay no attention to those dudes in the background, brother!

The 411: If this show was supposed to make me want to watch Clash of the Champions XXXI, it was a failure. During the hour, only two matches were mentioned for the Clash--Ric Flair & Arn Anderson facing Vader in a handicap match and a six-person bout pitting Dick Slater, Bunkhouse Buck, & Col. Parker against Sister Sherri & Harlem Heat--and even these were merely discussed in passing on commentary. Rather than wrestling, the focus of the entire program was on Hulk Hogan and promoting the upcoming skit in which Hogan would step into the Dungeon of Doom. Despite Hulk being the World Heavyweight Champion, the title was barely mentioned and insignificant to the storyline because Kevin Sullivan's mission was to destroy Hulkamania. Apparently, WCW's World Title wasn't important enough as a goal.

Final Score:  3.5   [ Bad ]