Pantoja’s AEW Dynamite Review 12.8.21

AEW Dynamite

December 8th, 2021 | UBS Arena in Elmont, New York

The show opened with MJF’s music hitting to a strong pop. I know it’s his hometown but the man is hated. Anyway, it was actually CM Punk instead. He seemed to be enjoying the hell out of a mixed reaction. Punk cut a promo dissing Long Island and taking plenty of shots at the Islanders. He went to that well a bit too much if I’m being honest. Still, this was a solid promo where Punk was a jerk and kept basically saying Chicago was better than New York. He also revealed a “four pillars” shirt but with MJF replaced by Britt Baker. As noted previously, I’d swap Darby and Sammy for Dante and Britt if I was actually making this. Punk challenged MJF for a future match and called all of Long Island chickenshit.

Dynamite Dozen Battle Royal

Before the match, there was an over the top vignette with MJF driving a Lamborghini and a narrator reading off his accomplishments in high school from football to keg stands to acapella singing. Then, his actual entrance was a mockery of Punk’s return in Chicago from posing with the crowd to nearly tearing up. He was in the battle royal along with Wardlow, Matt Hardy, Jay Lethal, Kazarian, Lee Johnson, Ricky Starks, Powerhouse Hobbs, Dante Martin, Lio Rush, Lee Moriarty, and Matt Sydal. The match itself was pretty basic for a battle royal but had a few standout moments. I popped that Lethal going out early for example. They continued the Team Taz/Lio Rush issues and we even got a rare AEW battle of BIG MEATY MEN SLAPPING MEAT when Hobbs and Wardlow went at it. MJF snuck up to eliminate Lio, Johnson, and Wardlow together. It came down to MJF across from Team Taz members Martin and Starks. Before anything could happen though, Martin dumped out Starks, meaning he and MJF will meet next week at Winter is Coming. The whole thing went 8:45 and was your average battle royal. [**¼]

Post-match, Starks jumped Martin as Taz said Martin swerved them since he also removed his FTW armband. This whole Martin/Lio/Team Taz angle feels sloppy and rushed, which aren’t things I typically associate with AEW. This could’ve caused dissension and not been an immediate turn. MJF teased helping Martin and finally ran to the ring to a huge pop. However, he just added to the beating on Martin until Punk made the save. MJF bailed and Starks ate a GTS.

2.0 (7-3) and The Acclaimed (21-5) vs. Jungle Express and The Varsity Blonds (1-0)

Interestingly, both of these quartets have teamed up before. The Acclaimed’s rap this week was pretty bad. Similar to how the previous match was a typical battle royal, this was your expected multi-man tag. Jungle Boy shined early before Pillman Jr. took a bit of heat through a commercial break. Once the hot tag went to Luchasaurus, things picked up again, with him chokeslamming Bowens onto Caster. We got the big move barrage as guys kept coming in with offense until Jungle Boy put Caster in the STF. Daniel Garcia hopped on the apron so Eddie Kingston ran down to a huge hometown reaction, pulling him off the apron. JB avoided a Caster move off the top and applied the STF to win in 8:57. A good little tag here. [***]

Eddie Kingston dragged the cameraman to the back with him where he ran into Ortiz, who tried to calm him down. Kingston was cutting a promo but there was no audio. He was very animated. 2.0 and Garcia showed up to jump them, including using a recycle bin as a weapon. The heels surprisingly stood tall but I am all about a Kingston/Santana and Ortiz pairing way more than Kingston with Jericho.

Tully Blanchard and FTR cut a promo about how they keep beating The Lucha Brothers but they can’t seem to get them back in the ring again. Apparently, the title match happens on Rampage.

Chuck Taylor (21-10) and Rocky Romero (1-1) vs. The Young Bucks (10-2)

My girlfriend’s least favorite AEW team, the “creepy” Young Bucks. Her words, not mine but she ain’t wrong. I like how Taylor needed a partner and was like “Yeah, I’m not going with Wheeler YUTA.” Commentary noted that these four men have faced off in some variation over 100 times. Goodness. That made it obvious that this would move quickly and feature lots of action. They all know each other well enough to make it work. This was very much a Young Bucks style match in that it felt like the template you’d use if you had to explain what they do. There were flips, dives, high spots, and turns in momentum at the expected time. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, I’m just explaining what it was. They got a lot of time, working through the commercial break. Taylor hit a sweet somersault dive and the Bucks still managed to give Adam Cole his kiss on the checks. Tony Schiavone made Taz corpse when he said Cole needs to wash his hair. Cole, Cutler, and Cassidy all got involved before Romero took a Meltzer Driver to lose in 15:41. A very good match that was kind of paint-by-numbers for the Bucks. [***¼]

After the bell, the heels beat on Best Friends until Wheeler YUTA made the save. Obviously, that failed as well until OC was set up for the BTE Trigger. Cue the arrival of the van driven by the iconic Sue and it’s the return of Trent! He looked shredded and as my friend on Twitter pointed out, like a cross between Jon Moxley and The Blade. He speared Cutler and took out everything moving, including Adam Cole. Sue and Kris Statlander looked on as YUTA, OC, Rocky, and Chucky T all hugged Trent. The ladies then joined the ring for an even bigger hug. A phenomenal segment for a group of people I really like, Trent’s return, SUE, and the Roppongi Vice theme.

Ruby Soho had an interview interrupted by The Bunny and Penelope Ford. They have a deal with Nyla Rose where one of them gets the first TBS Title shot if Nyla wins. So on Rampage, they will team with Nyla against Ruby and two partners if she can find them. A fight broke out where Ruby ended up getting stomped by Bunny, Ford, Rose, and even Vickie. Tay Conti and Anna Jay made the save with chairs, likely setting up the six woman tag.

Sammy Guevara was on the stage for an interview with Tony Schiavone. He was immediately interrupted by Cody Rhodes to a chorus of boos. He’s getting a TNT Title shot on Christmas Day apparently. Cody just said good luck and that it would be one good guy against another before teasing going down the heel tunnel. Men of the Year cut things off from the rafters with Ethan Page saying maybe they should be EVPs and they could get title shots whenever they wanted. He said Dan Lambert got him a title match and that he’ll be back soon. Sammy told Ethan to bring it. Nothing much to this segment. Sammy as champion still doesn’t quite work for me since I feel like there are so many better options on this roster.

A vignette aired to hype Jade Cargill vs. Thunder Rosa in the tournament.

Jamie Hayter (4-3 vs. Riho (21-5)

I love Jamie Hayter. Right off the bat, Riho had to deal with cheap shots from Britt Baker but she kind of easily shrugged it off and the whole thing was weird. Riho used her quickness while Hayter had the obvious size advantage. Riho’s speed even made Hayter regroup outside, causing an argument of sorts with Britt only for Hayter to barely catch a Riho dive. That allowed Hayter to take control through the commercial break. Returning, they continued to throw bombs at each other, delivering hard strikes and big moves like a sick looking Brainbuster from Hayter. The Hayter backbreaker also looked fantastic because of how small Riho is. Riho survived a single leg crab and came close with Code Red and a diving double stomp. She fought off Rebel and wrecked Hayter with a crucifix bomb off the top before winning with a running knee in 13:13. Yes! That was a hell of a match that was given proper time and saw two women going to war. [***¾]

Post-match, Baker put Riho in the Lockjaw for a bit.

RAMPAGE!

· Lucha Brothers vs. FTR for the Tag Team Titles!

· TayJay and Ruby Soho vs. Nyla Rose, The Bunny and Penelope Ford

· Adam Cole vs. Wheeler YUTA

· Taz made a major announcement on the spot that Rampage marks the long-awaited debut of the secret weapon, Hook! THEY’RE SENDING HOOK! HOOKERS REJOICE! He’ll be destroying Fuego Del Sol.

WINTER IS COMING!

· Dante Martin vs. MJF in the Dynamite Diamond Ring match

· Serena Deeb vs. Hikaru Shida III

· Hangman Page vs. Bryan Danielson for the AEW World Title

On the stage, The Varsity Blonds were oddly interviewed by Tony Schiavone. The lights went out and when they came on, Malakai Black was across from them. He removed his mask gimmick and spit the mist at Julia Hart. She awkwardly sold it but it worked. Varsity Blonds are soft that they just let that happen.

Bryan Danielson (12-0-1) vs. John Silver (24-6)

In a lot of ways, this followed the trend from the previous Danielson/Dark Order matches. Danielson didn’t take his opponent seriously, mocked them, and taunted them. However, the Dark Order guy could shut him up temporarily by getting going. Silver did it more than the rest, getting in more offense and shocking Danielson by tossing him around with ease. Of course, Danielson got going through the commercial break, wearing down Silver and talking more shit. Silver caught a leaping Danielson with a snap powerbomb in a big spot. Silver applied his own knee bar and when Danielson kicked at his head, Silver no sold and stuck his tongue out. Danielson countered a German suplex and got going again but his Busaiku Knee was countered into a rollup. Danielson avoided the Spin Doctor, raked the eyes, and started in with the elbows. He added a Gotch piledriver and a modified choke to win in 10:44. A very good main event that did exactly what it needed to. [***¼]

Danielson bragged about everything he did to the Dark Order but promised to kick Silver’s head in, which he hasn’t done yet. As he went to do it, Hangman Page ran out to stop him, throwing right hands until Danielson bailed.

7.5

The final score: review Good

The 411

While this wasn’t a groundbreaking episode, it featured several good matches, setup for the future, and build to Winter is Coming. I do think they need to come up with more ways to set things up than just “wrestler A interrupts wrestler B” as that has gotten tiring.