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Hey there people, time for another episode of WWE Smackdown. Tonight we’re really getting the build to WrestleMania underway as we’ll get a contract signing between WWE Universal champion Roman Reigns and WWE champion Brock Lesnar, they’ll be the main event of the show and we’re getting title vs. title, winner take all. Johnny Knoxville is probably going to crash Sami Zayn’s celebration, Drew McIntyre will continue his feud with Happy Corbin, I’m sure Charlotte Flair will Poochie things up, and we might get something between the Viking Raiders and the Usos after their match at Elimination Chamber never happened. We’re spared the truly awful commentary pairing of Michael Cole and Corey Graves as Pat McAfee is back with Cole tonight as we’re in Hershey, Pennsylvania. So let’s get to the action.

We open with a recap of Brock vs. Roman to this point to hype up the unification of Universal and WWE titles at Mania. Not the strongest one of these WWE has produced but not bad.

Michael Cole is in the ring as we start, he brings out Ronda Rousey to kick things off. Ronda gets a mic and Cole asks about her comeback and time off, she brings up breaking her hand in the Mania main event and then broke her other hand before getting pregnant. But she knew that with her due date she could come back at the Rumble and main event Mania again. She puts over her mother as being an inspiration and how she wanted to do the same kind of thing for her daughter. Cole puts over Ronda’s history across Judo, MMA, and professional wrestling, then asks about winning the Rumble. Ronda prefers to look forward, she wants to be the first woman in a long time to tap out Charlotte. Cole brings up the tag team match at Elimination Chamber and how Charlotte worked her over when Ronda had just one arm at her disposal. Ronda doesn’t get a chance to respond before Charlotte Flair and her totally organic crowd reaction show up. Charlotte has a mic in hand as she walks down, she pauses on the ramp and mocks Ronda’s performance at Elimination Chamber. She knows it wont be like that at Mania, but at Mania Charlotte plans to put Ronda in the Figure 8 and make Ronda tap out. The silver lining for Ronda though is after losing she can go home and work on baby number 2. Sonya Deville jumps Ronda from behind, then Charlotte trips up Ronda and starts slamming her leg into the ring post. Deville tries to trash talk, but Ronda tosses her out of the ring with ease. Well that was not a strong segment.

New Day ride around on a four wheeler in the back, they’ll be in tag team action after this break.

Post break Adam Pearce chastises Sonya Deville for getting involved physically with Ronda, and next week Sonya will have a one on one match with Ronda Rousey. There’s no jacket for Sonya right now, so I’m led to believe she’s without legal authority, sure would be a shame if Naomi jumped her. I mean she wont, because faces are dumb in WWE and there’s a non-trivial chance they just drop the whole Naomi and Sonya thing now that they’ve moved Ronda into this spot.

Match #1 – Tag Team Match: New Day (Kofi Kingston and Big E) vs. Los Lotharios (Angel and Humberto)

Kofi and Humberto start things off, they tie up then trade arm wringers and escapes before Kofi hits a splash after a takedown. Big E tags in and he and Kofi then hit some tandem offense on Humberto. Abdominal Stretch from Big E, then Humberto fights free with strikes before Big E clubs him down to the mat. Kofi tags back in and hits a leapfrog senton for a 2 count. Again Humberto fights back but he takes a drop kick before sending Kofi to the apron. Angel distracts Kofi and Humberto drop kicks Kofi off of the apron. Angel tags in, they cheap shot Big E then Angel takes the pants off as we head to break.

Kofi takes a drop kick from the tree of woe position as we come back. Humberto starts working a neck crank, and I question how many other “L” bits of alliteration WWE production can come up with for Cole to spout in relation to Los Lotharios. Big E takes a cheap shot from Humberto then Angel tags in. Double leg lace rolled into a slam from Angel and Humberto, then Angel starts working a single leg Boston Crab. Kofi kicks him off and starts firing up with a standing stomp and both men are down. Big E is on the apron and gets the hot tag. Humberto tags in as well and Big E runs wild with a series of belly to belly suplexes, then the big splash connects. Big E sets for the Big Ending but Humberto avoids it and hits a super kick after an Angel distraction. Angel tags in but runs into an ST-Joe. Kofi tags in, a wheelbarrow from Big E into a bulldog from Kofi connects but Humberto breaks up the tag. Humberto kicks Big E down, Kofi drop kicks him then Angel avoids an SOS and sends Kofi out of the ring before hitting a nasty looking suicide dive. Angel badly cracked his head on the way down there, but he seems OK. The ATV at ringside distracts Angel and Kofi flies onto him, then Humberto eats a belly to belly from Big E. Back in the ring Kofi jumps at Angel but runs into a super kick for a near fall. Angel heads up top, but he’s distracted by Big E threatening to run over Humberto with the ATV. Kofi attacks Angel, Big E tags in and the Midnight Hour connects allowing New Day to pick up the win.

OFFICIAL RESULT: New Day won

Rating: 2.5 stars

Having your babyface team win by threatening to run over one of the heels was definitely a choice. The action was good though, which I suppose is good because we’re probably getting more of these.

Rick Boogs and Shinsuke Nakamura then do a commercial for Toyota to send us to break.

Post break we’re in the back where Sheamus and Ridge Holland talk to New Day. Sheamus tries to intimidate them, Big E just laughs and drives off, this seems to infuriate Sheamus for some reason.

Sam Roberts is in the back with the Usos. Jey puts over the contract signing between Roman and Brock, then Jimmy reminds us of the stakes. Some mocking of the Viking Raiders follows, then the Vikings jump them by running from directly in their eyeline and apparently surprising them. The Raiders want their tag team title shot and call for it as everyone heads off.

We’re reminded of Xia Li chasing off Natalya a few weeks ago, then Megan is at gorilla and interviews Li. Li has been waiting her whole life for this moment, she worked hard in NXT and dreamed of this match. She admits to being nervous, but also confident and tonight Natalya will need protection. Li then heads to the ring for her match which will start after this break.

Post break here comes Natalya while Aliyah, Shayna Baszler, and Drew Gulak watch TV at an odd angle.

Match #2: Xia Li vs. Natalya

They tie up, Natalya tosses Li down then lays in some stomps. Li jumps over Natalya then lands a drop kick. Natalya avoids a scoop slam and hits a discus clothesline for a 2 count. More strikes from Natalya then a snap suplex. Li gets caught in an Abdominal Stretch, then Natalya grabs an ankle to increase the leverage but Li fights out and hits an arm drag. There’s a “Hershey’s chocolate” chant, McAfee tries to pass it off as something else but they don’t care about this match at all. Li fires back with kicks, then an elbow to the head before hitting a wrist clutch exploder suplex for a 2 count. Natalya goes for the Sharpshooter but Li kicks her off. Li then hits the wheel kick and pins to win.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Xia Li won

Rating: 2 stars

The crowd didn’t really care, and I’m not sure Natalya was the right opponent here because they didn’t quite mesh in the ring.

We get a recap of last week when Sami Zayn defeated Shinsuke Nakamura to win the Intercontinental Title. After that here comes Sami Zayn, he’ll do his celebration and get interrupted by Johnny Knoxville after this break.

Sami Zayn babbles as we come back from break. He says “They” have tried everything to keep him down, but here he is, once again the champion. The old Sami Zayn would have blamed the conspiracy on everything, but now that he’s the champion again one has to ask if there ever was a conspiracy. He says yes, they’re going to persecute him, but no matter what they throw at him he can overcome all of it. The crowd doesn’t care, so he goes for cheap heat to try and get them back, mostly successful. He wants everyone to know he’s happy to give Shinsuke Nakamura a rematch but Nakamura is still picking up pieces of his kneecap so he’s not available. But unlike Nakamura Sami is happy to defend the title against any and all comers. Anyone who’s brave enough to set foot in the ring with him, and that brings out Johnny Knoxville. Knoxville gets a mic, Sami tries to laugh him off but the crowd give a pretty loud “Johnny” chant. Sami then asks what Johnny is doing here. Johnny brings up Sami crashing his movie premier so he’s just returning the favor. Sami then demands he leave, Johnny thought Sami tossed out a challenge to anyone brave enough. Johnny challenges him for the belt. Sami brings up again that Johnny doesn’t belong here in the ring with him, he knows that Johnny is trying to get into his head and he’s getting there but Sami sees through him. Johnny asks if Sami wants to be a fighting champion, or if he just doesn’t have the balls. A “No balls” chant breaks out and both men drop their mics. Some jaw jacking follows before Sami lands a cheap shot. Sami hits the Helluva kick, then trash talks more as a couple of refs pull him away. Another Helluva kick from Sami drops Johnny and Sami heads out with balloons and the belt to send us to break. Not a great segment, the opening was a drag as are most of Sami’s monologue segments but Johnny Knoxville’s presence at least got the crowd to care.

We come back as Sami Zayn tries to justify what happened to Adam Pearce. Ricochet comes up and gets an IC title shot next week.

Back to the ring and Sasha Banks is here, she’ll be in action against Shotzi. Shotzi got the jobber treatment in terms of her entrance. Just before the match gets started here comes Naomi, she joins commentary for the match.

Match #3: Sasha Banks vs. Shotzi

Shotzi opens with a slap, then she avoids a Bank Statement. Banks lands a chop then goes for the 3 Amigos but Shotzi blocks the last one and hangs her over the top rope. Shotzi hits a running back splash then botches a suplex spot and Banks rolls her up for 2 to cover up. Banks hits a Meteora off the second rope then a kneeling Codebreaker. Back Stabber into the Bank Statement and Shotzi taps out.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Sasha Banks won

Rating: 1.5 stars

Shotzi botching a few things in a match that short knocks the overall rating down. This was leaning towards a squash overall.

Post match Naomi gets in the ring with a mic, and announces that she and Banks have formed a tag team and will be going after the tag team titles. So we’re seriously just dropping Naomi and Sonya without any resolution? Makes sense.

Megan interviews Happy Corbin and Madcap Moss, we get a replay of that horrible bump Moss took on the inverted Alabama Slam. I still don’t know how he didn’t break his neck. Corbin jokes that Moss used his head well, but he promises that tonight he’s going to take out Drew McIntyre. Drew tries to kill him with a sword at Elimination Chamber, and you don’t get to disrespect an undefeated powerhouse like Corbin and get away with it.

Back to the ring and here comes Drew McIntyre, his match with Corbin will be up after the break.

Post break here come Corbin and Moss. Corbin gets a mic, and says him and Drew is a WrestleMania caliber match and asks if Drew is sure they should have it here in Pennsylvania. Some cheap shots at the crowd follow, and while nothing would make Corbin happier than stomping Drew into a pulp then moves into putting over Moss. Moss hops onto the apron, then Corbin says Moss should show the people how great he is by taking on Drew in a rematch right now. Corbin and Moss then jump Drew before the bell.

Match #4: Drew McIntyre vs. Madcap Moss w/ Happy Corbin

Moss hits a shoulder thrust in the corner but Drew then floors him with a headbutt. Drew goes for the inverted Alabama Slam again but Moss grabs the ropes and heads out of the ring to recover as we head to break.

We come back to Moss working a neck crank. Drew fights back with strikes but runs into a kick in the corner. Moss hits a shoulder block for a 1 count. Moss tries an up and over out of the corner but Drew kicks him in the guts on the way down. Drew fires up and they start trading punches before Drew starts landing clotheslines. Belly to belly from Drew, then another one and a neckbreaker connects. Drew sets for the Claymore but Corbin distracts things allowing Moss to thumb the eye then post Drew. DDT from Moss but he only gets a near fall. Moss fires up now and unloads with punches, he hits the ropes again but runs into a Claymore and we’re done.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Drew McIntyre won

Rating: 2.5 stars

Moss is actually growing in the ring and he deserves credit for it, but the commercial break gutted any chance this really had.

We get a recap of the opening segment, because that’s necessary. In the back Megan interviews Ronda, and Ronda promises to show the world what happens when authority figures step out of line. That wasn’t quite the line the writer thought it was in terms of impact.

The music for Roman Reigns hits, and let’s see if the Tribal Chief can put a bit of life into this episode. Roman and his full entourage are here, and after this commercial break Roman and Brock will do the contract signing.

Next week the Usos will defend their tag team titles against the Viking Raides, plus Sami Zayn defends his IC title against Ricochet.

The Bloodline is in the ring, as is Adam Pearce and a ton of security goons who are about to get killed. Roman gets a mic and demands the crowd acknowledge him, which they do. Heyman gets the mic from him and says this is a point in history where there is no way to embellish or exaggerate the main event of WrestleMania, this is the biggest match in history on the biggest Mania ever (Sure, no way to exaggerate). Bigger than Hogan vs. Andre, bigger than Stone Cold vs. The Rock, bigger than the night Heyman conquered the Undertaker’s undefeated streak though he still gives Brock Lesnar half credit for that. The Tribal Chief will take on Brock Lesnar in a title unification match, so now we get down to the business, the contract signing for the biggest match of all time. The security guards are here to protect Brock Lesnar from his own impulsiveness as well as protect him from the Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a cliffhanger. We then immediately cut to commercial again. OK, that was a pretty glorious bit of production decision making there.

Post break, here comes Brock Lesnar. Roman is staring at Brock like Brock is already a dead man. Brock gets a mic and introduces himself in the style of Paul Heyman. He then says he has to contain himself because he is very impulsive, and if Roman thinks for one second that these skid mark security guards are going to stop him form jumping over the table and kicking everyone’s ass they’re wrong. The only thing stopping him from doing that is himself, and this contract. Brock is going to sign this contract, and at WrestleMania he’s going to kick Roman and Heyman’s asses and get paid for it. Roman actually snaps just a bit and dislodges the table with a hand. That seemed to have gotten Brock’s attention. Brock signs the contract and throws it at Roman. Heyman has had it with Brock’s disrespect, and he tells Brock that Brock will lose the WWE title in Madison Square Garden. Roman gets a pen from Heyman and signs the contract then gets a mic from Heyman. Roman tells Brock he must be confused, because the title Brock is holding is really Roman’s and Brock doesn’t know it. Brock has no hope at Mania, this is Roman’s ring, Roman’s belt, Roman’s camera man, Roman’s show, and all the people are Roman’s. The commentary team works for Roman, that big sign is his show because Roman Reigns is WrestleMania. Everyone works for Roman here, including the security in the ring. Brock just grins, then kills the goons while the Bloodline stand on the entrance ramp. Pretty solid stuff there, Roman flipping his lid just a bit in the face of Brock could hold narrative promise, and seeing him up the intensity like that means so much more because he does it so rarely.