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Acero’s AEW Dynamite Review 4.27.21
Image Credit: AEW
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It’s Windsday, Rabbit!
CM Punk wants in on the announcing for the opening match, so here he comes to join commentary!
Match 1: Dax Hardwood vs Cash Wheeler
Cash shoots the legs, no go. Lockup and they get equal footing. Side headlock from Dax. He wrenches it, Cash works the left arm, escaping the headlock. Dax reverses, Cash gets control back, sends Dax down, then drives an elbow into the crook of the left arm. Dax kips up, falls down, trips up Cash, side headlock into a pin and a reverse of the same. Each man gets a 1 count, both me nup to the delight of the crowd.
Another lockup, Cash wit a tackle, another tackle, Cash hits the ropes, Dax meets him with a sleeper, Cash shoves him off, tries for an arm drag, reversal, body slam from Cash, side headlock takedown, leg scissors, Cash with an arm drag, and he wins that one! THUMB TO THE EYE BY DAX!!!! Cash shoves Dax away in anger. Dax seems to claim he did it on accident. Cash shoves him again. Cash hits a knee, an uppercut to Dax. Cash whips, nice spear like move to cut him off. Chop from Cash. Another! Cash with a sleeper from behind. Dax with a chop, they get to the top rope ,Dax climbs up, locks the leg, SUPERPLEX FROM DAX!!! Dax goes up again for a headbutt, but Cash rolls away onto the apron. Dropkick from Cash, sending Dax to the outside.
We are back, and Cash has a waist lock in! GERMAN!!! JR says this is the third one from Cash. Dax reverses and hits one of his own! Dax up, pulls back for another German, Cash hits a back elbow, both men hit the ropes, duck under, CROSSBODY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING FROM BOTH MEN!!!! Surprise rollup for 1..2…NO!!! Dax got that. Cash tries for a backslide near the corner, Dax walks up the corner, locks the head, tries for a powerbomb, but Cash with a rana into a pin for 1..2…NO!!! Cash tries for the powerbomb again, GETS IT! Pin for 1..2…..NO!!!! Kick from Cash. He locks the head from the top rope, tries for a Victory Roll, Dax counters for 1..2…NO!!! CASH WITH. PILEDRIVER!!!! Cover for 1..2……NO!!! HOE-LEE-SHIT! Dax climbs the corner, Cash trips him up. Cash climbs the corner, locks up from behind. BACK SU—no! Dax turns his body and drives his knee to the guts of Cash! That was juuuuust a bit sloppy. Dax hits the ropes, he hits a crossbody, and both men roll to the outside. Cash looks to hurt his right knee a bit as the ref starts the count. They roll in at 9! Cash favors the knee. Dax is up, grabs the legs, goes for the Sharpshooter, but Cash screams about his leg! Dax stops himself. He cant do it!!!!
Dax splits the leg, tries to stomp the chest, and Cash gets a surprise rollup! 1…2….Dax rolls it over! Dax gets the win! 1……2…..3!!!!!!
Winner: Dax Hardwood
Well, shit. I knew going in we were going to get a BANGER!!!!, and I tried not to let this cause an overrating. The guys did call backs to WM 10 that were sweet, and didn’t come off as hokey. I’m a little sour on the ending, but I’ll give it time to settle and see if anything has changed late. For now, that’s the only negative I have about this opener.
Total Rating: ***3/4
Match Time: 15:05
After a graphic of Page and Punk, Punk himself grabs a mic from the booth and wants to keep it short. How bout Dax and Cash?! For the first time in seven years, he asked himself a question: “Can I still do this?” He can now proudly stand and say hell yeah he can. He’s a fan of Adam Page. This is not to disparage anyone except for maybe Eddie Kingston, but from Darby to Dustin, everything has been him warming up. He can promise one thing; he cant promise a win, but he will give 100% of himself to us. Without us, there is no him. He’d never come back, he’d never make it to Double or Nothing. It’s in Vegas, and he has NEVER been a gambling man, but he tells Hangman that he will always bet on himself. Win, Lose, or Draw, he will know that Page has been in a fight, and he will continue to fight until the wheels fall off.
Scorpio Sky has something to say with Dan. It’s no coincidence that he’s as good as he is, leading to becoming the TNT Champ only to be screwed out of his title. He gives Sammy his credit; he’s given some great ladder match moments, but Philly ain’t here to see that. They’re here to see Sky kick Sammy’s ass.
Match 2: QT Marshall, Aaron Solow, and Nick Comoroto vs Blackpool Combat Club
Yuta gets some hometown love. Nice. As per usual, the BCC attack before the bell. Nick and Jon to star. Moxley hits the ropes, Nick with. Hard tackle. Tag to Solow, and Jon just flips the shit out of him with a suplex. Tag from Wheeler. Kick and the crowd is SUPER pro-Yuta. Solow works the wrist, Yuta flips out of it, arm drag, high dropkick, cover for 1….NO! Knee and a tag from Solow. Nick is in and Yuta hits a high dropkick. Hits the ropes, back body drop from Nick as Regal talks about working on his dropkick. Wow.
We are back from PIP and QT sends Wheeler to the ropes. Wheeler spins back in and drops QT! Yuta cawls for a tag. Solow gets a tag. Bryan with a tag! Uppeprcut! Another! Chop from Bryan in the corner! Kick! Chop! Kick! Kick! Kick! Kick! Bryan backs up ,whip, back flip and he hits the ropes, then dives into QT AND NICK!!!! Solow tries for a suicide dive but Bryan punches his face!!! Dropkick off the top rope!!! He kips up and Bryan is ready to murder a man! Kick to the chest! Another! Another! ANOTHER! He goes for the head! Solow ducks! Rollup! 1…2…NO!!! LABELL LOCK IMMEDIATELY!!!!! QT in to stop the submission! Jon in to hit a half and half! QT in the corner, Solow in the corner! Jon and Bryan trade corners with attacks! Jon sends Qt to the outside! Bryan sits Solow on the top rope! He gets shoved off by Solow! Solow dives….RIGHT INTO A BOOT TO THE CHIN!!!! TAG TO YUTA!!!
Nick is in, too! He tosses Yuta across the ring! He shoots Yuta across the ring again! Powerslam attempt, but Yuta spins into a guillotine! Nick is able to flip him for a suplex, but Yuta gets a sleeper!!! Yuta with alebows to the side of the face over and over and over!!! He’s beating Nick down hard over and over!!!
QT and SOLOW enter to stop the pin but Bryan and Moxley roll in and lock in a submission on them!!! YUTA pulls Nick down into a backslide pin! 1….2…..3!!!!
Winners: BCC
That ending!!!! WOWWWWW! Give love to the crowd who gave love to Yuta the entire time. Man, this was great.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 8:49
Toni is backstage along with Britt and Hayter. Toni wants Britt to say hello to her little friend. Here comes Ruby to talk about how every time someone new comes around, they come throw their dick around. Owen once said enough is enough and it’s time for a change. She wants to drop them both right no. Britt says no, they have stuff to do, and she is hungry. They need to visit Ruby’s home sweet home in Catering. Ha!
Jungle Boy is backstage with Tony and Cage. He doesn’t wanna sound like a sore loser, but he knows he could have won last week. Cage says he doesn’t sound like a sore loser; he sounds like a LOSER. But he’s not! Last week was a teachable moment and it won’t happen again. Cage challenges any top 5 tag team to a match, and here comes Ricky Stark to make me question my manhood. He says any time, any place.
MJF’s music hits, and he’s up in a sky box with Spears. He talks some shizz and says the crowd is gonna be pissed when Lance Archer decimates The War Pig. Speaking of silence, here comes the man without music, Wardlow.
As Wardlow is being uncuffed, Archer flies off the top rope onto Wardlow AND security! Hahaha. Sick. Wardlow gets tossed into the ring.
Match 3: Wardlow vs Lance Archer
Bell rings, and Wardlow hits a freakin RANA!!! Whoa! He whips into the corner, reversed, Wardlow hops up in the air and lands behind Archer! Punch, uppercut! He lifts Archer and drops him on his back hard! Powerbomb attempt, but Archer escapes, GOOZLE!!! Wardlow grabs the wrist! Archer changes to a claw! Wardlow clubs the arm away! Hit the ropes. BOTH MEN WITH A CLOTHESLINE!!! Right hand from Wardlow, one from Archer, another from Wardlow, Archer, Wardlow with a running start. Archer hits another, asking for more, so Wardlow hits three in a row, then a shoulder in the corner. Archer kicks, Wardlow catches, Archer with a right. He locks the fingers and clubs the back. Archer walks the ropes. Moonsault onto Wardlow. MJF and Spears celebrate up top. GOOZLE!!! CHOKESLAM!!!! 1…2….NO!!!! Archer sits Wardlow on the top rope. He wants Blackout!!! He lifts Wardlow up, shoots him down, slams him with a Blackout! Pin for 1..2….NO!!!!! Wardlow reverses for a 1..2…NO!!!!! Archer beats down the back of the neck of Wardlow as Excalibur reminds us that’s how Moxley beat Archer!!! Archer tries for another Blackout, Wardlow with a right, Archer turns around and locks the head on the top rope. Wardlow fights back, Archer vlubs the back, headbutt fom Wardlow over and over and over. Archer falls to the ring. Wardlow stands on the top rope. SWANTON BOMB FROM ARCHER!!!! HOLY SHIT!!! Cover for 1…2….NO!!!
WARDLOW DROPS THE STRAPS!! He locks up. POWERBOMB!!!!!! Wardlow is HURT-ING! Crowd is HYPED! He lifts Archer! ANOTHER POWERBOMB!!!!! Wardlow points to MJF! ONE MORE POWERBOMB!!!! HE rolls Archer into a FOURTH!!!! COVER FOR 1…2……….3!!!!
Winner: WARDLOW
This match had ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING RIGHT BEING THIS GOOD!!! WOW!
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 5:29
Wardlow chant ala GOLD-BERG as Wardlow gets cuffed up.
JAS is here to gloat about their superstardom! Parker grabs a mic and says that the best promoter, Tony Khan, knows that superstars are what’s BEST FOR BUSINESS, calls the crowd the AEW Galaxy and promises no physicality tonight. He calls out Santana, Ortiz, and Kingston.
Jericho tells the crowd to stop chanting for Eddie. We are lucky enough to be living in the Jericho era, and yet they deprived people of Pittsburgh last week of seeing him. They paid to see Jericho, and that was taken away from the crowd. Therefore, he is demanding an apology.
Ortiz has something better than an apology. It’s in his pocket.
MIDDLE FINGER GOES UP!!!!
Santana got one for him, too! It’s in his wallet. Jericho’s problem is that he turned his back on the two dudes that knew him best.
Here goes Garcia saying he thinks they’re tough, Kingston with his perfectly manicured eyebrows. These threats don’t mean a thing, thpough. Not like they can hit them. Garcia gets in their face like a punk kid. It’s great.
Eddie says enough. Stop. Back up, young’un. He hates this. He hates this crap, this chair, he doesn’t like The Sopranos. He hates the sports entertainment crap. He told Jericho a while ago, we’re going to get you regardless. He tells Jericho to stop with the crap – let’s fight. He don’t care if it’s 5 on 3. Matt is seething at the teeth. Lol.
Jericho says the problem is it IS 5 on 3, and they’re not smart enough to realize it, so JAS will take them out one by one. He’ll put a hit on all their asses.
Kingston asks Jericho if he knows what a hit means. When you say a HIT in his world, you end things.
He then smacks the mic out of his hand.
Jericho gets handed another mic, says no company wants Kingston, this is his last chance so stand there and shut your mouth and do what you’re told.
Kingston tells Jericho he wont hit him, but he can smell the fear. When you say a hit, you better be prepared to put someone in the ground. Are you ready to do that? Nah.
Jericho is leaned back in a chair, seemingly scared out of his mind.
Looks like a bit of a misstep in the order of the script, but they recovered well enough.
Match 4: Serena Deeb vs Hikaru Shida
Shida rushes into the ring and attcks just before the bell. She’s got her kendo stick in hand. Deeb takes control and mounts her. Deeb gets sent outside, Shida follows, grabs a chair, sets it up, but Deeb rushes up onto the apron. Shida rolls into the ring, hits right hands, drapes Deeb over the corner and runs with a knee strike to the ribs! Deeb falls to the outside! Shida on the apron. She runs but Deeb has the chair and smacks the knee with it. Deeb grabs Shida off the floor, sends her into the ring, grabs a chair, and sets it up for seating, among other things. She grabs Deeb and lands her hard knee first onto the chair.
We are back, and Deeb is chillin in the seat. See, I told you that’s what it’s for.
Shida is hurting nearby. Deeb stands, hooks the side, grabs the knee, tries for another knee breaker, but Deeb reverses an drops Deeb face first into it! Deeb rolls outside the ring. She reaches underneath the ring and grabs a Ziploc bag of cocaine!
She powders Shida’s face and grabs her kendo stick! The powder is all over the face of Shida. Deeb with a few kendo stick shots! She looks for Detox, Shida reverses with a back body drop. Shida reaching, unable to see, for her kendo stick. She swings a few blind swings, causing Aubrey to duck fast. Shida is able to get a shot on Deeb! Shida rolls outside and grabs a bottle of water. She drenches herself, and so do I. Wow.
Shida runs up the steps and hits a dropkick to Deeb. She rolls her into the ring. Grabs a stick, smacks the arm of Deb. Back. Abs. Shoulder! Ouch. HARD KNEES to the face of Deeb! She spins for a Katana, but Deeb with the chair AGAIN!!!! Deeb locks the leg up in the chair. Deeb to the top! Shida is up!!! She grabs Deeb! FALCON ARROWWWWW!!!!!!!! Cover for 1…2……NO!!!!!
HOLY SHIDA CHANT!!!
Shida with the kendo stick! She smacks Deeb in the abs!!! She chokes her up with the stick!!! Deeb uses the ropes to kick off of and rolls into a pin for 1..2….NO!!!! Deeb with another kendo shot, she lifts Deeb up on her shoulders, thumb in her eyes, Deeb locks the head, then the arms, DETOX ONTO THE CHAIR!!!! Cover for 1…..2…….NO!!!!!
Deeb locks up the arm, looks for Serenity!!! Shda reaches for the ropes! GETS IT JUST AS THE LOCK IS IN! BUT THERE ARE NO ROPE BREAKS!!!!
Deeb grabs the knee and slams it over and over ONTO the chair!!! Cloverleaf attempt from Deeb!!! She’s got it locked in! Shida taps!!!!
Winner: Serena Deeb
Holy fuck. Is this their best one yet? I don’t know, but this was damned good. Dare I say it…? A CERTIFIED BANGER!!!!
Total Rating: ****
Match Time: 11:40
MJF is backstage with some hot chick named Lexi. He calls her Leslie, she corrects her, then yells at her to get out of his frame. HAHAHAHA. Nice.
Anyway, MJF is calm because he has a plan. He makes a phone call, offers six figures for one match. He hangs up and tells Wardlow he will be facing someone bigger, taller, and smarter…and you can’t teach that.
The lights go out!!!!
They come back on, and shine upon a laid out Fuego Del Sol on the ramp. Here comes Malakai to whisper something to him. Buddy and Brody come to grab Fuego. Black is about to remove the mask!!!
Abrahantes in the ring stops them, says removing a mask is disrespectful! He’s been waiting for the right moment to blindside them.
PENTA OBSCURO IS HERE!!!! He comes out, but he is NOT alone….
IT’S FUCKING PAC!!!!!
AND THEY ARENT ALONE EITHER!!!!!
REY FUCKING FENIX IS BACK!!! HE’S THE DUDE IN THE RING!!!!
Fenix attacks Buddy with a shovel!! Buddy drops him as Black and King roll out of the ring! Fenix kicks Buddy down, hops up the top, STOMP TO BUDDY!!!
DEATH TRIANGLE IS BACK!!!! Pac and Penta enter the ring! SUICDIE DIVE TO HOUSE OF BLACK!!!!
Schiavone is backstage with Darby Allin and Swerve. Swerve says they ain’t friends, that’s a bit strong. They’re just rivals that have beat the hell out of each other for years. He’s proud of Darby; he’s grown up.
Darby tells Swerve you cant just keep coming into companies claiming it’s his house. This is Darby’s house, and Friday night, he’ll show him why.
Match 5: Undisputed Elite vs Dante Martin, Brock Anderson, Lee Johnson and The Varsity Blondes
Undisputed blindsides the faces, and we get a Dante Martin and KOR start. Ante dropkicks Matt to the kneed KOR, causing him to tumble outside the ring. Tag to Pillman, then to Griff, who double team sending KOR to the outside. Matt springboards, sending both the Blondes out. Lee dives off the cross body, bu here is Brock to hit a double clothesline. In comes Fish to hit an exploder on Brock. Dante in to send Fish out, Lee dives off onto The Young Bucks and Dante springboards onto ReDragon.
Ok, Knox, just fuck the rules.
We are back, and The Young Bucks hit a superkick to save KOR. In comes Brian and we get a hi-low from Fish and KOR. The tag teams in the ring try to one up one another. Nick hits the apron, kicks Griff, hits an X-Factor to Lee, then a springboard moonsault to the rest of the guys outside. Matt in and hits a dropkick to them, then Nick front flips over his split legs to the outside. The Bucks gloat at their prowess. KOR tags Fish in, The Bucks are in. Fish tags in Cole. We get Lee in the center.
They call for a BTE Trigger. 4 way! Cole drops the boom, and we get a cover for 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Undisputed Elite
Yeah, wasn’t really feelin this for multiple reasons. First, it was too short to matter. Second, the opposing team losing was obvious, lastly was the commercial break that cut the match up completely, not really annoying any real momentum, and lastly, the indyriffic feel of tags essentially not mattering and a bunch of sloppiness all over.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 6:28
KOR and Fish hand The Young Bucks some shirts for the Udisputed Elite. Bucks hesitate then put them on, and the five men pose in the middle of the ring.
Something is happening backstage, though.
It’s JAS! Santana and Ortiz are laid out. The rest of the guys have Kingston held up on his knees. Jericho….tosses a fireball??? In the face of Kingston.
Kingston screams in agony as some peeps come help him.
Match 6: TNT Championship Match
Scorpio Sky vs Sammy Guevara
THE GUYS MEET OUTSIDE OF THE RING BEFORE THE BELL STARTS! Sky sends Sammy into the barricade. Again! He drags Sammy towards the barricade, hit some knees, body shots over and over, focusing on the right hand, and backs away with a flex. Sky grabs Sammy, lifts and drops Sammy neck first onto the edge of the barricade. Sky whips Sammy into the barricade hard. “I told you I was gone beat his ass.” – Sky. Nice.
Sky runs up the ramp, grabs the ladder, but tosses Sammy’s jacket first. Sky walks down the ramp with the ladder, Sammy in th ring, he dives for a dropkick, but Sky lifts up, Sammy flies under, Sky backs up with the ladder, hitting Sammy across the chest. Nice. Sky sends the ladder into the ring.
FUCK HIM UP, SCORPIO, FUCK HIM UP! Sky hears the chants and leaves the ladder alone in the ring to go fuck Sammy up. He tries for a suplex, Sammy blocks. GERMAN FROM SAMMY ON THE RAMP!!!! Tay cheers on her mans and Sammy makes a snow angel on the bottom of the ramp. Sammy sends Sky into the barricade for a dose of revenge. Sammy rolls into the ring and sets up the ladde. Sammy climbs, gets his fingers on it, Sky pulls him down, Sammy hoots the legs, catapult to the ladder, Sky lands on the ladder, runs up to grab the title, so Sammy clubs th back and slams Sky down back first. Sammy sends Sky into a ladder rung. Sammy sets up the ladder, which is a bit too far in the corner. Sky grabs the boot, Sammy kicks his face away, Sky dorps down to his knees. Sammy reaches for the ladder, does the whole crazy thing, then flips off the ladder, totally missing Sky!!! Yeesh. Sky tries to soften the fall, but that’s a botch.
We go to commercial, and refs are checking on Sammy. Sky stands over him and does the crazy sign, then the FU sign, and drags the ladder to the center of the ring. We’re still in Picture in Picture as refs check on Sammy. Sky climbs up and Sammy is up to push the ladder. We’ll be back after the break!
We are BACK and Sky is climbing a second ladder while Sammy climbs up the corner, where there is a smaller ladder placed. He springboard, tries for the cutter, but SKY IS THERE TO HIT HIS OWN!!!! NICE CALLBACK!!!
Sky is outside the ring. He reaches under the ring for a ladder….with barbed wire wrapped around rungs!!! TAY LOOKS AFRAID AS FUCK! ECW chant starts. Sky slides the ladder into the ring. He grabs Sammy, whips, lifts up for a TKO, but Sammy fights him off. Hits the ropes. STANDING SPANISH FLY ONTO THE BARBED WIRE!!!!! Sammy did NOT land on the barbed wire, wow. WOW. Lambert checks on Sky. Sammy grabs Lambert!!! He pulls him inot the ring. Tay enters the ring!!! Dan turns, Tay kicks him in the nuts!!!!
Paige VZ is here!!! She gets into the ring ant attacks Tay!!! Sky and Sammy meet!!! Punches galore!!!! Sky attacks in the corner! Paige does the same! They’re beatin that ass!!!!! Sammy with a surprise shot! Big Boot from Tay! Sammy and Tay make out in the middle of the ring!!
Sammy grabs the barbed wire ladder and brings it into the ring with Tay. Sammy lays the ladder across the ropes. He goes towards Sky. Sky up with a surprise Flatliner! Sky sets the ladder up for the win. Tay to the apron. She hops on the back of Scorpio. Sammy climbs the opposite side. PAIGE HOPS ON THE BACK OF SAMMY! The ladder is behind them! They all climb! Sky meets Sammy at the top with the girls on either of their backs! The girls fight off one another!!! Tay and Paige go at it. They each hit a kick, knocking each other off.
Sky and Sammy at the top. Sammy fights Sky down with punches, flips him off. SKY BITES THE FINGER OF SAMMY!!!! Sammy slides down, Sky reaches, Sammy to the top, he knocks Sky off with a headbutt!!! Sammy gloats, smiles, grabs the title, but SKY PULLS THE LADDER UP AND SAMMY LANDS ON THE BARBED WIRE!!!!
Sky climbs! CROWD IS SO FUCKING LOUD!!! He gets to the top, but Sammy springboards onto the ladder! SKY SHOVES HIM OFF!!!! SKY GRAB THE FUCKING TITLE DAMN YOU!!!
SKY GRANS THE TITLE AND WE GOT A WINNER!!!
Winner: Scorpio Sky
Well, there were moments that were certainly NOT pretty, and I wish they would have leaned into the heel turn a little sooner than last week, but I’ll be damned if they didn’t a) win over the crowd fully for Sky, b) turn Sammy and Tay and MAYBE even Lambert in the process and c) quite possibly put PVZ over all within this match. And yes, super dumb move there from Sammy. Man….what a high.
Total Rating: ***3/4
Match Time: 14:16
Ethan Page comes down to celebrate!
Frankie Kazarian walks down the ramp, fully suited! Sky shakes his hand. It’s on.
End Show
