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Hey there people, it’s time for another episode of WWE Smackdown. The big draw tonight is the WWE title match with CM Punk defending his belt against the recently returned Kevin Owens. Sami Zayn is lurking, as always, but his legitimately broken hand has complicated his involvement thus far. But Punk and Owens have been pretty tense in their promo battles to this point, and frankly I doubt we get anything truly conclusive here but the match should be good overall. Cody Rhodes tried to return the near murder favor on Randy Orton last week only for that stooge turned produce Daivari to stop him, but those two are ready to ignite their blood feud now without the odd injection of Pat McAfee. Blake Monroe is finally actually wrestling on Smackdown, after months of “coming soon” then months of backstage randomness she’ll take on Giulia tonight. Giulia is in about the worst spot possible as Smackdown doesn’t seem to know at all what to do with her. The Island Boys of Tama and Talla Tonga won the tag team titles last week, but the tag division on Smackdown is still a total wreck when compared to last year. That said Shinsuke Nakamura claims to have a friend, presumably Hiromu Takahashi, and will be trying to bring a bit of life back to a stagnant division. WWE women’s champion Chelsea Green can’t wrestle due to a broken orbital bone, but has a few weeks before she needs to have a defense scheduled. Her opponent is likely Nia Jax because God hates us. Fatal Influence has a lot of gold now, hopefully their ring work stops being so sloppy, and Baron Corbin is still US champion because God hates us. Trick Williams made it clear he’s still trying to regain his fuzzy belt, leaving Carmelo Hayes back in limbo. Ilja Dragunov is leaving WWE apparently, and us never getting him vs. Gunther on the main roster is a crime against all things logical and good. Still no sign of Jordynne Grace, Johnny Gargano has the easiest gig in wrestling still, and we’ll have to see how things work out with Tatum Paxley on the main roster. The last few weeks for Smackdown have been good on the narrative side of things but the wrestling has been weak, hopefully we can get something worthwhile between the ropes today. Anyway that’s the preamble so let’s get to the action.

Joe Tessitore and Wade Barrett welcome us to Toronto, Ontario, Canada for the episode as wrestlers arrive at the venue. Oh, we’ve added KFC graphics to the announce desk covering. How gauche.

We get a video package for the feud between Cody Rhodes and Randy Orton, they’ll have a match at SNME.

In the back human tire fire Sami Zayn complains to Smackdown GM Nick Aldis about the state of things. Sami wants a title rematch and recites everything from the last few weeks. You know, in case you missed it. He wants to know what business Randy has in any of this. Of course Randy shows up behind him and asks where he’s going with this. We then hear Cody Rhodes on the mic in the ring calling out Randy. Aldis tries to tell Randy to be cool and walks out, Sami keeps bitching but Randy then stalks after Aldis. Aldis says last week was almost a complete catastrophe, Cody’s got his match just- and he’s cut off by Randy’s music. Randy has a mic and says they’re fighting in two weeks in Cody’s hometown. They don’t have to do this now. Cody knows Randy well enough to know he doesn’t want to wait, but Aldis gets in the middle again. He’s sick of both of them putting people in danger and ignoring him. At SNME they can kill each other, but if either man touches the other before that match they will never get another WWE title match. That’s enough for Randy to play nice at least it seems. Both men take a second but Randy says he’s not risking hitting number 15, Aldis can call Randy Mr. Professional. Randy does have a question for Cody though, and brings up Cody almost doing to him what he did to him, but he knows that if Cody swung that chair then Cody couldn’t live with himself. Well Randy did that same thing and has no remorse, he knows how to be the worst version of himself. Then there’s Cody, who’s a good guy. He’ll always be a good guy, the American Daydream. When it comes to who kills Randy it’s not going to be Cody. Cody warns Randy about his assumptions, yeah Randy painted the announce table with Cody’s blood but then Randy lost. So is Randy really sure Cody’s making a mistake? Cody learned a lot, Randy might go on to break all kinds of records, but when it’s done Randy will still come back to Cody because Cody is the one who will end Randy. That’s not a prediction Randy, it’s a spoiler. Oooooh, the potential of Cody teaming up with Paul Heyman has been teased a few times but they’ve taken their time building it and this feels like just another step towards the inevitability.

The Tongans walk and talk, Tama can’t hear anything from the fans. That’s because you’ve got no heat brother. They’re the champions and dare anyone to step up. Haku shows up to actually get a mild reaction out of the crowd.

Damian Priest and R-Truth head to the ring, apparently they’re getting a rematch for the belts after this break.

Post break here come the Multiple Faulty Talents and their terrible music.

Match #1 – WWE Tag Team Title Match: (c) MFT (Tama and Talla Tonga) w/ Haku vs. Damian Priest and R-Truth

Immediate attack at the bell, Tama and Priest wind up our first legal men. Priest with a series of elbows then his hopping shoulder block. Tama gets cornered and Priest unloads on him as we see the War Raiders watching TV in the back. Boot from Priest then he corners Tama in the face corner. Truth tags in and hits a Stinger Splash. Talla gets low bridged, then knocked off the apron and then Tama gets tossed out as well. Priest tells Truth to dive, Truth with a plancha to Tama to a big pop. On the floor Priest rams Talla into the barricade. Truth and Tama head back into the ring, Truth with punches but Tama misdirects him into a Stun Gun then a sliding clothesline to take over. Mounted punches from Tama then he tosses Truth out of the ring and tags in Talla as we go picture in picture.

Talla drops Truth across the barricade then asks for heat which he only kind of gets. Back in the ring Talla with his usual terrible control work. Tama tags back in to land a headbutt then tags Talla. Overhand chop from Talla, then he tags out. Tama grabs a side headlock then corners Truth but misses a corner attack. Truth ducks a clothesline and hits a back heel kick to put both men down as we’ve come back to broadcast. Both men tag out and Priest starts unloading on Tall with punches and a superkick. Priest with a 10 punch but only gets 5 before Talla fights free but Priest boxes the ears then head kicks him into the corner. Lifting Flatliner to Tama then Priest drops Talla. Priest up top and hits a flying clothesline for a 1 count. We’re really still doing this with Talla huh? Priest wants South of Heaven on Talla but Talla grabs him by the throat as well. Priest has to fight free but runs into a clothesline from Talla. Talla corners Priest in the heel corner and stomps on him. Tama with a few cheap shots because he’s a jerk. Priest fights out of the heel corner and looks to tag out, Tama tags in though and blocks that. Tornado kick from Priest and he tags Truth. Truth goes for the 5 Moves of Doom, he hits the 5 Knuckle Shuffle then the Attitude Adjustment but Talla breaks up the pin. Priest attacks Talla and sends him out of the ring then follows and runs around the ring to hit a leaping ax handle. Talla still wont really go down and Tama knocks Priest off the apron into a Talla chokeslam onto the apron. Truth rolls up Tama for a near fall but Tama then hits his twisting neckbreaker. Talla tags in, poor Truth takes a Red Cross, it’s a high low move with Tama hitting a chop block and boot from Talla. Well that’s moderately better than the terrible assisted powerbomb from last week.

OFFICIAL RESULT: MFT retained the titles in 11:34

Rating: 2.5 stars
Thoughts: Truth and Priest were a surprise fun team when they paired up, sadly they didn’t get to actually do much as champions. MFT as champions is certainly a choice, but the whole tag scene on Smackdown is such an afterthought right now that it’s hard to even come up with a better alternative. The action here was serviceable, mostly hurt but the incredibly obvious outcome.

Post match Priest is pissed and stares at the downed Truth. Priest offers a hand up and hugs Truth though, guess his heel turn will wait another week at least.

In the back Cathy talks with WWE champion CM Punk. Punk thrives in pressure and hostile territories, Owens has been fighting imaginary enemies. Punk has changed and grown while Owens is still the same guy from 20 years ago. Randy Orton wanders over and warns Punk that after he deals with Cody in Atlanta he’s going to get number 15. Punk claims he’s looking forward to that as we head to break.

Post break we get a recap of the Chelsea Green situation from last week. It really was a good promo from Green. Green now has 23 days to get a title defense. In the back Green paces and here’s a banged up Tiffany Stratton. Green wants to take Tiffany out tonight, Tiffany knows Green was trying to help last week. The two walk by Paige and Paige interjects. She knows what it’s like to have injury take things away from you. Fatal Influence come over and everyone yapps at each other. Paige wants a women’s US title shot, the heels then just leave.

Elsewhere Blake Monroe is getting ready for her match, Cathy comes over to talk to her. Blake says this isn’t the debut she envisioned, she should be in a WWE women’s title match. But instead she’s here in crappy Toronto looking for an outfit and fighting her old friend Giulia. Cathy says Blake will look good in anything, and Blake agrees then thanks her and heads out while we head to break.

Post break here comes Giulia to the ring. Blake attacks on the entrance ramp, so they still haven’t worked out her mirror entrance I guess? Some ringside brawling from Blake and she rams Giulia into the ring steps. They head into the ring finally and Blake lands a headbutt then a knee. Still no bell. Neutralizer from Blake and her music plays, so still no actual match from Blake.

In the back Charlotte Flair and Alexa Bliss talk about celebrating her birthday, Tatum Paxley shows up to and is excited to hang out. Paxley’s socially awkward nature makes things awkward until Jade Cargill and flunkies show up. Paxley needs Mary’s Blood. Michin wants a match with Paxley next week. Paxley is super excited. I can’t help but feel this isn’t going well.

Elsewhere in the back Trick Williams walks with his diminutive water craft and we head to break.

We come back to Trick heading to the ring. His chant is fairly over in Toronto. Trick gets a mic, he’s got Yachty back with him but that big bald bum Baron Corbin couldn’t handle him without cheating. So the cue ball can come get hit with a Trick Shot. US champion Baron Corbin’s awful music plays and here’s the champ. Corbin isn’t wearing the US title and leaves a motorcycle at the top of the ramp. Corbin gets a mic of his own and heads to the ring then chases Yachty out of the ring. Trick insults Corbin’s lack of hair again then runs down his long list of silly nicknames and tells Corbin to stop ducking him and give the people what they want. Trick wants a rematch right now for the title, wherever it is. Corbin says the title is getting a haircut. Well it’s nice he’s keeping barbers employed somehow. Corbin says Trick lost the title match, then lost the rematch, so what does Trick have to offer him? It isn’t happening now or ever. Yachty whacks Corbin with the kendo stick a couple times and Trick knocks him out of the ring. Corbin says if Trick really wants to go this way, then SNME sounds good as Toronto isn’t worth it. Whoever booked this Smackdown agrees with him. But before that he wants 5 minutes with Yachty in Yachty’s hometown, and if Yachty survives then Trick gets his match but if Corbin wins then he’s done with Trick forever. Yachty considers then accepts. Corbin warns Yachty that this will be the longest 5 minutes of his life.

In the back Cathy talks with Kevin Owens who gets a big pop. Owens points out that Finn Balor is going to interrupt them, and Balor does. Balor was happy to see Owens back, but would have appreciated a heads up. Owens says they’ll get interrupted again, and here’s Gunther. Gunther promises Owens that Balor isn’t a problem, but Gunther will be if Owens wins. Owens and Balor then talk as Gunther leaves. Balor hypes up Owens but does warn him that he’s waiting for the champion, and Owens hopes it will be him.

Tiffany Stratton heads to the ring for our next match. She’s got her ribs taped up but will take on Lash Legend after this break.

After the break here comes Lash Legend along with Nia Jax, mercifully using the Irresistible Forces music instead of Lash’s awful one.

Match #2: Lash Legend w/ Nia Jax vs. Tiffany Stratton

40 freaking minutes between matches. Unacceptable. Tiffany with some quick dropkicks then a handspring back elbow before running into an uppercut from Lash. Lash with knees to the body then a scoop slam. Bearhug from Lash then she rams Tiffany into the corner. Tiffany avoids a pump kick and hits a chop block then a Backstabber to send Lash out of the ring. Suicide dive from Tiffany but Lash catches her and very slowly walks her into the ring post to send us to break.

Back in the ring Lash with some rope work. Even with a clear target to attack Lash’s control work is somewhere between tedious and painfully uninspired. Clothesline from Lash. The absolute worst shoulder thrusts I’ve seen in a minute from Lash. Jax with something of a cheap shot. Some wrist clutch clotheslines from Lash, Tiffany avoids one and tries a School Boy for 2 then Lash with a pump kick. Man nothing Lash does has any urgency, it all just feels artificial and uninteresting. Tiffany rolls out of the ring, Lash follows making sure to taunt but then runs into the ring post. Both women head back into the ring as we rejoin the broadcast. Tiffany with offense but Lash cuts her off with an elbow then a suplex. Lash misses a jumping elbow drop. Tiffany tries to fire up but gets stalled out on the cartwheel Alabama Slam, she still hits a hurricanrana then a handspring Stunner. Lash avoids a Swanton Bomb, Tiffany the avoids a pump kick and hits a Crucifix Driver for a 2 count. Lash blocks a Prettiest Moonsault Ever and hits the Lash Extension to win.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Lash Legend won in 7:22

Rating: 1.5 stars
Thoughts: Lash as a singles worker just isn’t coming along. It’s all rehearsed, fake, uninteresting, and painfully artificial. She has the physical presence but none of the crowd connection or believable work against her opponents.

Post match Jax and Lash beat down Tiffany, Chelsea Green runs down with a kendo stick and fights off both heels. The heels powder because Green isn’t cleared to bump.

We get a hype video for Owens vs. Punk. That match will be up after this break, so they’re at least likely to get a good amount of time to work.

Post break we get another Shinsuke Nakamura video. He’s warned MFT and now what’s in the dark is coming to light. He’s got Kyoki with him, yeah it’s Hiromu Takahashi just now with a new name. Kyoki wants more gold and madness. Nakamura warns MFT that the Strong Style and Madness will collide and create an explosion. Be warned, the clock is ticking.

Back to the ring and here’s Kevin Owens to a monster ovation. I know he’s unlikely to win but man it’d be cool if he did. The WWE champion follows and the crowd seem perfectly content to boo Punk at least as Punk comes out in a hockey mask. Both men get into a shoving match but the ref and ring announcer separate them so we can get the special introductions.

Match #3 – WWE Title Match: (c) CM Punk vs. Kevin Owens

Immediate attack from Owens, nice to see someone sell the hatred with something other than a collar and elbow tie up to begin a match. Owens unloads on Punk, drops him with a clothesline then sends him out of the ring. Punk misdirects Owens coming back in and stomps on him, then tries a suplex but Owens counters and hangs Punk over the top rope then punches him down to the floor. Owens follows and chops away at Punk on the floor. Next Owens takes apart the announce table, but that let’s Punk attack from behind. Punk puts the cover back on the table because he’s a heel tonight. Back in the ring Owens with a leg kick then a slam down and senton, the challenger is rolling early. Punk counters a Stunner with a neckbreaker, nice counter, to attack the bad neck of Owens and send us picture in picture.

Punk with some punches, Owens fights back as a striking exchange favors him and he corners Punk with heavy body blows. Owens tries a corner whip but Punk reverses and Owens is down again holding his neck. Knee drop from Punk as he’s go this target now. Punk with a chop to the back of the neck, kick down, then a knee drop in an homage to a classic combination from the great Samoa Joe. Front headlock from Punk, just making Owens carry his weight on his neck, then a scoop slam to the bigger man. Punk starts cranking at the neck of Owens with a modified Camel Clutch. Some attacks to the upper back and lower neck of Owens. Owens tries to fight back with more strikes but he’s swinging so hard it’s hurting his own neck, Owens then avoids a Go To Sleep and rolls up Punk for 2. Punk with a clothesline down and gets back on top. That’s the state of things as we rejoin the broadcast. Punk rams Owens face first into the corner, Owens fights back with a body blow. More strikes from Owens, including a wicked lariat to floor Punk and put both men down. Owens with rights, again the striking favors him as he batters Punk with body blows and punches to the head then stomps the crap out of Punk in the ropes. Punk’s facial expression is great as he rolls to the floor, but Owens follows him and levels him with a clothesline. Back in the ring Owens tries a cannonball senton, pauses to taunt Punk and then drills it for a 2 count. Owens heads up top but Punk rolls out of the ring. Owens follows Punk in front of the announce table and superkicks him onto it. Next Owens heads to the barrier and Splashes Punk through the announce table. Back in the ring Owens goes up again, Swanton Bomb connects but only a near fall. Hard right hand from Owens, Punk avoids a Pop Up Powerbomb and lands a series of kicks punctuated with a head kick for his own 2 count. Punk trash talks the crowd a bit then hits the corner knee strike and clothesline. Now Punk goes up top, Elbow Drop after a returned taunt to Owens, only a 2 count but Punk turns the kick out into the Anaconda Vice. Owens rolls for a cover and that gets 2 then Punk with a swinging neckbreaker to drop Owens again. Another neckbreaker from Punk, he wants a third but Owens fights him off with punches until Punk clubs him down. Punk calls for the finish, but Owens catches the Go To Sleep and switches into a Sharpshooter! Owens sits back into it but Punk drags himself to the ropes to force the break.

Punk rolls to the apron, Owens kicks him in the ribs but Punk snaps him over the top rope to get back on top. Owens ducks a head kick, tries a Stunner but Punk shoves him into the ref. Owens then shoves Punk into the ref for good measure, hits a Stunner and gets the visual win but the ref is out on the floor. Well that’s a shame. Punk then hits a Go To Sleep for his own visual win but still no ref. Punk lands a couple of punches then looks around befuddled. Now Punk goes out of the ring to revive the ref, but here’s Sami Zayn to ram Punk into the ring post. Sami shoves Punk back into the ring, Owens with a Stunner and a cover, Sami pushes the ref back into the ring but only a near fall! OK, I bit on that one. Sami now grabs the title belt and tosses it into the ring, Owens now sees Sami for the first time I think, he looks at the belt, picks it up then decides against using it. Sami hops up and Owens hands it to Sami saying he’s not doing it like this. Sami then just clobbers Owens with the belt, Punk hits a Go To Sleep and gets the pin.

OFFICIAL RESULT: CM Punk retained the title in 18:54

Rating: 4 stars
Thoughts: Well that was pretty darn good. Owens sold everything about this like a demon, his own fervor, hatred, offense, and desperation once Punk went after his neck. Punk played things well of course, his own overwhelmed nature as Owens was unloading on him, wonderfully playing off the crowd, and the pace was tremendous. They did a lot but well paced everything for almost 19 minutes. The finish was the only real downside, which might have been unavoidable but still put a ceiling on the match overall. Still a really good match and more between this messed up trio of people seems inevitable.

Post match Punk celebrates while Owens is distraught and Sami looks like he finally got a whiff of his own scent. Sami then lays out Punk with the belt. Owens rolls back into the ring, and Sami cracks him with the belt a second time. Another belt shot for Punk as well then yells about Punk stealing the title from him. Sami holds up the belt as the episode ends.