The Top 10 Coolest Movie Swords (#5 – 1)

The Top 10 Coolest Movie Swords: #5-#1

Well, here it is, the second part of the Top 10 Coolest Movie Swords list. I really don’t have a better introduction than that. I have two more mega lists that I’m planning on doing, but I’m not sure if either one will be the next “Top” list or if I will do something else first. I think I might do one or two “one off” lists before another mega list. Or maybe I won’t. I don’t know.

In case you missed the first part of this list, here is the link to it.

And now, without any further what have you, the Top 10 Coolest Movie Swords list concludes.

The Top 10 Coolest Movie Swords: #5-#1

5- Conan’s Atlantean sword- Conan the Barbarian: This is the sword that Ahnold Schwarzenegger’s Conan finds in the cave and then uses for most of the movie. For some reason, I seem to remember this sword being gigantic, almost unwieldy, but I’m wrong. It’s actually the perfect size for the character. That doesn’t mean it isn’t an imposing weapon because it is, and Conan is a total badass with it. I think my favorite aspect of the sword is that it isn’t a straight blade from the tip to the handle. The blade actually gets wider towards the handle. It makes you sort of fear the blade because you don’t want to meet the blade at all, especially towards the handle. I haven’t seen the 2011 reboot/remake with Jason Momoa. Does Momoa’s Conan use a similar sword or is the Atlantean sword different in that movie?

4- Montoya’s sword- The Princess Bride: When I first saw The Princess Bride I didn’t really care for Inigo Montoya’s sword, mostly because of the handle. I didn’t think the handle looked right. It was too ornate to be on such a deadly weapon. If you’re a warrior your sword should be sleek and scary. An ornate handle belongs on a “boss villain” sword (a guy that doesn’t fight but carries a weapon that shows off his wealth). The more I saw the movie, though, the more I grasped the significance of Montoya’s sword and why it looked the way it looked. It was supposed to be ornate and elegant because the six fingered man that wanted Montoya’s father to make it wanted it to be that way. And since Montoya’s father was the preeminent sword maker the sword was always going to look kind of pretty. The look of the sword suddenly made sense. So now when I see Montoya carrying the sword and using it and explaining it, the sword is something to be feared and in awe of. If and when Montoya finds the six fingered man and gets his revenge it will be so goddamn sweet. And it is.

Was I the only one who thought, when they first saw the sword, that the handle looked kind of brittle and would fall apart?

3- Connor McLeod’s sword- Highlander: This is the sword that Christopher Lambert’s Connor MacLeod used against Clancy Brown’s the Kurgan at the end of the movie and won “The Prize.” The sword was originally the property of Connor’s Immortal mentor Sanchez (Sean Connery), but then he didn’t have much use for it after losing his head against the Kurgan back in the day. So Connor presumably took it and used it as his own against the various Immortals he fought over the years. It’s a beautiful looking weapon, with its ornate ivory handle (how often do you see that kind of thing?) and gleaming blade. I also thought that it looked weird in the Sanchez flashbacks, mostly because it didn’t look like the kind of sword anyone would have back in the 1400’s or whenever it was. It looked more appropriate in Connor’s hands in “modern” New York City, like it’s something that he stole/bought from a sword maker. Anyway, it’s truly a beautiful looking sword, and I’d imagine that most Highlander movie merchandise collecting nerds have a replica. If I were one of those nerds I know I would have one.

2- Excalibur- Excalibur: In a weird way the Excalibur sword in John Boorman’s still amazing to this day Excalibur isn’t all that impressive looking, at least at first. I mean, it’s beautiful looking and gleaming and all that, but it doesn’t look all that special. It’s just a sword that sort of looks like all of the other swords that we see in the movie. If the sword has been around forever and all that, shouldn’t it look absolutely amazing? But then maybe that isn’t the point of the sword. Maybe it doesn’t have to look particularly special. It’s more important who wields it. And that’s where Nigel Terry’s Arthur comes in, as he’s able to remove the sword from the stone and become the King of England. Of course, owning the sword doesn’t mean your life is going to become easy. Arthur, just like his father Uther Pendragon, goes through some nasty shit and it makes you wonder why the hell anyone would want to own it. Even if you’re supposed to own it, even if it’s essentially your birthright, being king is a pain in the ass. Check out the green reflection that pops up on Excalibur. That’s pretty goddamn sweet, isn’t it?

1- The Lightsaber- Star Wars franchise: I know that I have Darth Maul’s double lightsaber pictured but I decided that, while Maul’s lightsaber is awesome, I really didn’t want to necessarily differentiate between the various lightsabers that we see throughout the Star Wars franchise. The lightsaber is such a brilliant cinematic weapon. Essentially a sword with a laser as a blade, it’s exactly the kind of weapon a science fiction/science fantasy world like Star Wars would have. Typically only used by Jedi warriors and Sith warriors (we do see the alien cyborg General Grievous use several of them in Revenge of the Sith, and John Boyega’s Finn uses one in The Force Awakens. Those are the only non-Jedi/Sith/Force users that I remember using them in the movies. And, no, I’m not counting the time Han Solo uses Luke’s lightsaber to cut open the tauntaun in The Empire Strikes Back because he doesn’t use the lightsaber to fight someone), the lightsaber is considered a more “elegant” weapon because you have to be trained in order to use one. Anyone can use a blaster. But a laser sword? You have to learn how from someone who already knows how to use one. Maul is probably the most outwardly aggressive lightsaber user in the movies, although you could probably argue that Grievous, evil Anakin Skywalker (yes, Emperor Palpatine gives him the Vader name right after Anakin gives in to the Dark Side and kills Mace Windu, but come on. That isn’t the real Darth Vader. Vader doesn’t become Vader until he gets the Vader cyborg suit) and Kylo Ren are super aggressive, too. Count Dooku is the most regal user (and that makes sense since Dooku is Christopher Lee). Obi Wan Kenobi (both young and old), Qui Gonn Jinn, Rey, and Luke Skywalker are probably best described as proficient/skilled fighters. Palpatine is aggressive but it isn’t the same kind of aggressive as Maul and the others. And Yoda is just a badass (the little bastard is a flurry of green lightsaber blade, man). I doubt we will ever see a cooler movie sword than the lightsaber.

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