Movies & TV / Columns

The Top 25 Coolest Movie Guns (#5 – 1)

March 26, 2021 | Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz
Predator Jesse Ventura Image Credit: 20th Century Fox

The Top 25 Coolest Movie Guns: #5-#1

TheExterminatorRobertGinty

Well, this is it, week five of five, the final week, of The Top 25 Coolest Movie Guns list. What are the coolest movie guns, according to me? Before we all find out (well, before all of you find out. I already know what the last five movie guns are. I made the list), here are links to the first four weeks, just in case you missed them or want to check them out again:

#25 through #21

#20 through #16

#15 through #11

#10 through #6

And I just want to say that I enjoyed putting this mega list together, and I hope you enjoyed reading it, too. And sorry if a movie gun you like didn’t show up on the list, either as a full part of the list or an honorable mention. There really are just so many cool movie guns.

And now, finally, the final list. What are The Top 25 Coolest Movie Guns, numbers 5 through 1?

The Top 25 Coolest Movie Guns- #5-#1

PredatorPoster

5- GE M134 Minigun- Predator: When I first saw Predator I was pissed off when Jesse Ventura’s Blain character was killed by the Predator because Blain had the coolest goddamn gun in the movie, a movie chock full of cool and awesome guns. I mean, here was a guy who was not only carrying around a gigantic machine gun that is normally hooked to a helicopter, but he was also able to actually use it and kill bad guys with it. It was insane genius and, while seemingly totally unrealistic (what sort of Special Forces operator would carry around a helicopter gun and actually use it on missions? Wouldn’t that be a gigantic pain in the ass to lug around?), it was awesome as hell. How could the Predator alien stand up against Blain’s helicopter gun? That’s why the Predator had to kill him so quickly. The Predator had to get Blain out of the way because of that gun. I told myself that then, and, to a degree, every time I watch Predator now I still have to tell myself that.

And, yes, the Minigun has been used in several different movies since Predator (Predator star used one in Terminator 2: Judgement Day, for instance), but it was never quite as cool or awesome as when Blain used it in Predator.

http://www.imfdb.org/wiki/Predator_(1987)

TheWildBunchDVD

Honorable Mention- Browning M1917- The Wild Bunch: Initially a gift given to Mapache by the Wild Bunch, the gun is eventually used on Mapache and his men when the Bunch decides to rescue their friend Angel after he’s captured/arrested. The gun is also an integral part of one of the greatest movie shootouts of all time. It just amps up the carnage. Still incredibly powerful, both the scene and the gun, over fifty years later.

http://www.imfdb.org/wiki/The_Wild_Bunch#Browning_M1917

SuddenImpactDVD

4- .44 Magnum Auto Mag- Sudden Impact: Up until the moment Clint Eastwood’s Inspector Harry “Dirty Harry” Callahan reveals the .44 Magnum Auto Mag to the world, he, and the Dirty Harry franchise, was all about the .44 magnum revolver, “the most powerful handgun in the world.” Suddenly, the most powerful handgun in the world wasn’t the most powerful handgun in the world anymore. There was something else. The Auto Mag. And Harry shows us that it’s super cool and uber powerful by shooting through steel (the gun also has a different sound than the regular .44 magnum. It isn’t necessarily louder but it is somehow scarier). Then Harry puts it away and, while “on vacation” in San Paulo, ends up using the gun after his regular .44 is kicked away and he has to go after three asshole rapists. Just thinking of Harry, backlit, with the Auto Mag in his right hand as he sets about destroying the bad guys at the end still gives me goosebumps. It’s exactly the kind of situation you want to see Harry use the Auto Mag.

And think about how Harry initially describes the Auto Mag. It’s the kind of gun, when used properly, will “remove fingerprints,” meaning that it will completely fucking destroy someone. You can’t get much more badass or cool than that.

http://www.imfdb.org/wiki/Sudden_Impact#AMP_Auto_Mag_Model_180

InTheLineOfFireDVD

Honorable Mention- Composite Pistol- In the Line of Fire: This gun, created by John Malkovich’s terrifying assassin Mitch Leery, scared the shit out of me when I first saw it. I had no idea if the gun was possible in real life but there was a sense of “authenticity” in the movie that made it seem possible. And there was no doubt in my mind that if it was possible a guy like Leery would create it. A gun that is essentially undetectable, it’s made of parts that by themselves aren’t really anything but can be put together to create mayhem. Who else was scared to death by this gun?

http://www.imfdb.org/wiki/In_the_line_of_fire#Composite_Pistol

DeathWish3ScorpionBRD

3- .475 Wildey Magnum- Death Wish 3 : The Wildey Magnum, as used by Big Chuck Bronson’s architect/vigilante Paul Kersey in Death Wish 3, is a mega powerful handgun, possibly more powerful than Dirty Harry’s .44 Auto Magnum (the .475 round is meant to imply just that). And when Kersey gets it in the mail so he can use it against the evil Fraker’s street gang in their escalating conflict, we know that it’s a gun that will fuck bad guys up before Kersey even fires it. You just look at it and it looks mean and nasty and something you don’t want to be staring down the barrel of. And with the way Kersey talks about it to his fellow neighbors, you know that as soon as he starts using it, Kersey is going to be the baddest motherfucker in New York City. The first bad guy he uses it on is The Giggler, a notorious purse snatcher that likes to giggle and laugh as he runs away with a snatched purse. It’s not pretty. And it’s like that for the rest of the movie, as Kersey kills as many gang members as he can.

Just look at the grill design on the barrel. Holy shit. And think about the quick scene where Martin Balsam’s Bennett watches Kersey load shells for the Wildey. Who would do that? And why would anyone do that? Because it’s the Wildey Magnum, that’s why.

Another cool part of the Wildey? Allegedly, every time Death Wish 3 airs on TV, the guy that makes the Wildey in real life gets an influx of orders. What other type of movie gun has that happen?

http://www.imfdb.org/wiki/Death_Wish_3#Wildey_Hunter

Honorable Mention- .30 Caliber Browning Machine Gun- Death Wish 3: This is the other iconic gun used by Big Chuck Bronson’s architect/vigilante Paul Kersey in Death Wish 3. Kersey’s neighbor Bennett has two of them in his own apartment, given to him by Charlie, Kersey’s old war buddy/the guy he was originally coming to New York to see. Bennett tries to use one of them on Fraker’s gang after they firebomb his business, but poor Bennett has no idea how to load and gets his ass kicked. When Kersey decides to make his last stand against Fraker’s gang he uses the second one. With fellow neighbor Rodriguez (Joseph Gonzalez) helping him carry the gun’s ammo, Kersey wastes scores of bad guys in one of the greatest “guy using a gigantic machine gun to kill bad guys” scenes in movie history. Simply iconic.

http://www.imfdb.org/wiki/Death_Wish_3#Browning_M1919A4

RobocopPoster

2-Auto 9- Robocop: Oh, man, the Auto 9. Robocop’s gun. The first time we see it in action is at the firing range, completely destroying its target. The gun impresses every cop on the range and, no doubt, impresses the movie watching audience. I know it impressed me when I first saw Robocop. After watching the gun destroy the target, what could it do to the human body if Robocop had to use it? And that sound, that specific sound that only the Auto 9 makes. A three round burst that makes the gun sound like the end of the world. For my money, no other movie gun sounds better. No other movie gun, once you hear it, gets the blood pumping quite as much. Think back to the drug warehouse scene, where Robocop breaks in and starts shooting Sal’s employees. Just listen to the Auto 9 do its work. A true thing of beauty. They really don’t make movie guns quite like that anymore.

http://www.imfdb.org/wiki/RoboCop_(1987)#Beretta_93R_.28as_the_.22Auto_9.22.29

Honorable Mention- The Cobra Assault Cannon- Robocop: This the rifle that Clarence Boddicker (Kurtwood Smith) gets for his gang from Dick Jones (Ronny Cox) so they can try to kill Robocop (“Cobra Assault Cannon, state of the art bang bang!”). The first time we see it used, you immediately fear for Robocop’s life because, holy shit, this gun can probably kill Robocop with one shot. Thankfully for Robocop, Boddicker’s gang fails to kill him (they’re all terrible shots or just plain unlucky), but the gang does manage to do some serious damage to the old steel mill. Think about what Robocop does with the CAC when he uses it on ED209. He kills the thing with two shots (or three. I still can’t tell). Proof positive that one shot would have definitely killed Robocop.

http://www.imfdb.org/wiki/RoboCop_(1987)#Barrett_M82_.28as_the_.22Cobra_Assault_Cannon.22.29

Phantasm2Poster

1—Quad Barrel Shotgun- Phantasm II : The great Reggie Bannister, as Reggie, first used the quad barrel shotgun in Phantasm II, creating it after breaking into a general store while on the road with Mike looking for the Tall Man. Mike (James Le Gros) creates a pretty nifty looking flamethrower, but the quad barrel shotgun is way cooler. I mean, a double barrel shotgun is badass enough and is likely to do serious damage on its own, but a quad barrel shotgun? Holy shit. Reggie continued using the gun throughout the franchise, right through the final Phantasm flick, Phantasm: Ravager. The gun became synonymous with both Reggie and the franchise as a whole. And with good reason. It’s insanely cool. And, yes, writer/director Don Coscarelli does exactly what you expect him to do with the gun in part 2: he has Reggie kill four cloaked midget demons all at once. Because that’s really why one would have a four barrel shotgun. Sometimes you need to kill four things at once.

http://www.imfdb.org/wiki/Phantasm_IV:_Oblivion

**

Thanks for reading. Agree? Disagree? Sign up with disqus and comment. You know you want to, so just go do it.

Please “like” The Gratuitous B-Movie Column on Facebook!

Oh, and B-movies rule. Always remember that.