100 Percent Fordified: CHIKARA Tag World Grand Prix 2013, 1st Stage

Chicago, IL – 5.18.2013

Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Eddie Kingston
Campeones de Parejas: 3.0 (Scott “Jagged” Parker & Shane Matthews)
Young Lions Cup Champion: “Mr. Touchdown” Mark Angelosetti

Commentary is provided by Dave Prazak, Dr. Keith Lipinski, Bryce Remsburg, Leonard F. Chikarason, and Eddie Kingston.

Gavin Loudspeaker opens the show with the “Ballad of Tag World Grand Prix” because he’s awesome and the best thing in CHIKARA.

Tag World Grand Prix Opening Round Match
The Baltic Siege (The Estonian Thunderfrog & Latvian Proud Oak) vs. The Young Bucks (Nick & Matt Jackson)

Oak and Nick trade arm holds. Oak knocks him down with a back elbow. He baits Nick into a backslide armdrag and a handstand splash. Thunderfrog comes in and eats a chinbreaker. Matt gets knocked down with a double axe handle. He suplexes Matt and gives him a Gourd buster for two. The Baltic Siege leapfrog over one another, eventually double hip tossing Matt into a tandem slam. Nick trips Oak and brings him to the floor. Although Oak sends Nick into the ring, Matt catches his head with his legs allowing Nick to dropkick him. The Young Bucks wear down Oak until he roots himself into the mat. The Bucks hurt their backs trying to lift him up. They come up with the idea of a double superkick, but are thwarted by the Thunderfrog’s Hammer of Peace pounding the mat and knocking them down. Thunderfrog follows Nick to the floor with a double axe handle. Matt comes through the ropes with a dropkick. He walks into an eye poke from Oak. Matt finally uproots him with a spear. The Bucks are unable to move the Thunderfrog’s hammer. The Thunderfrog double suplexes them and the hammer all at once! He kicks Nick out of the corner. Matt superkicks him. Oak throws a weak superkick which does no harm. Oak wants to show him how it’s done. Matt accidentally superkicks Nick! Oak superkicks Matt! Thunderfrog tosses Nick into a reverse X-Factor from Oak. Matt breaks the cover. Thunderfrog slams him after a Polish Hammer. Matt gets his knees up to block a frog splash. Oak thwarts the Bucks attack and goes to tombstone Matt. Matt turns it around and The Bucks put Oak away with a spike tandem tombstone piledriver for the pin at 9:55. The Baltic Siege could have become the most popular act in CHIKARA. They were so over, so incredibly fun to watch, and had people thinking they had a shot at beating The Young Bucks of all teams. This was an awesome way to open the show and will leave you with a smile on your face. ***

Tag World Grand Prix Opening Round Match
The Spectral Envoy (Hallowicked & Frightmare) vs. The Colony: Xtreme Force (deviANT & Orbit Adventure Ant)

Orbit is replacing Arctic Rescue Ant (as pictured above). The Spectral Envoy come in and attack the Xtreme Force right away. They send Orbit out and drop deviANT with the Sidewinder for two. Hallowicked tosses Orbit into a kick to the stomach from Frightmare. deviANT sneaks in but is sent right out with a step-up Frankensteiner. He throws Hallowicked into the ring post on the floor. Frightmare also uses a step-up Frankensteiner on Orbit. deviANT trips Frightmare allowing Orbit to dropkick him in the crown of his head. As the Xtreme Force bully Frightmare, they also go after his mask. Hallowicked is knocked off the apron where deviANT is. Orbit gets dropkicked out by Frightmare, then Frightmare dives onto everyone. Back in the ring Hallowicked sends Orbit dropkicking into deviANT’s mid-section. Hallowicked super snapmares Orbit then lands a Swanton Bomb. deviANT avoids a dropkick and kicks Hallowicked in the side of the head. Frightmare breaks the cover. deviANT gives Frightmare a face full of knees. Hallowicked enzuigiri’s him in the corner. He goes for a super Fisherman’s buster but gets tossed out by Orbit. The Spectral Envoy bring deviANT down with the Headless Horsemen for two. Orbit takes off Frightmare’s ask and cradles him. Referee Bryce Remsburg notices mid-count and disqualifies the Colony: Xtreme Force at 8:01. This was hot and heavy and did a great job furthering the feud between these two factions. I look forward to the conclusion at “Aniversario.” **¾

The Bravado Brothers re-introduce themselves to us. Harlem says they’re going to win the tournament. They have been traveling the world since the Cibernetico, the last time they were in CHIKARA. The word success is synonymous with the Bravados but unfortunately that’s not the case when it comes to their CHIKARA careers. Harlem claims that all will change tonight when they win Tag World and challenge for the Campeones de Parejas.

Tag World Grand Prix Opening Round Match
The Bravado Bros. (Harlem & Lancelot Bravado) vs. The Batiri (Obariyon & Kodama)

The Bravados get fired up when Kodama states that their mother sucks. Harlem traps Obariyon in a front facelock. Obariyon works his way out but gets frustrated when Harlem thwarts his kip up. Harlem dropkicks out of a wristlock and tags in Lancelot. They double back elbow and double elbow drop Obariyon for two. Obariyon claws at Lancelot’s face to bring him to the ropes. Lancelot whips him to the corner and brings him out with a backdrop. He backdrops Kodama across the ring. Harlem gives him ten punches in the corner. He suplexes Kodama for two. Obariyon kicks Harlem from the apron when he clotheslines Kodama to the floor. Harlem finds himself trapped in the Batiri’s corner. He actually escapes from their grasp and makes a tag, but referee Dan Yost was tied up and didn’t see it. Moments later, Lancelot suplexes Kodama into Obariyon. The Bravados double team Kodama in the corner. Harlem moonsaults onto Obariyon on the floor while Lancelot gives Kodama a torture rack neck breaker for two. Kodama gives him his own neck breaker. The Bravados hit the Gentleman’s Agreement but Obariyon breaks up the cover. Obariyon and Harlem trade forearm strikes. Obariyon knocks him down with a flying forearm. Lancelot turns him inside out with a clothesline. Kodama takes him out, then Harlem delivers a bicycle kick for two. Harlem heads up top. The Batiri go to superplex him. Lancelot powerbomb them as well in a tower of doom. Lancelot ends up eating multiple dropkicks in the corner. He tries fighting back but ends up taking the Skull Bronzing. Harlem makes the save. He misses a bicycle kick. Obariyon drops Lancelot with the Rapture for the pin at 13:22. I am really disappointed the Bravados didn’t advance, but not surprised. They have really come along and deserve all the success in the world. The Batiri held up their end of the bargain but the match definitely dragged near the end. **¾

The tag team of The Kentucky Buffet (Matt Cage and Alex Castle) are backstage with Gangrel. Last night at “Wrestling is Intense”, Gangrel bit them and turned them into vampires. They have now been re-christened as the Daywalkers, Mathias Cage and Alexandre Barnabus Castle. Castle says it feels like it’s been 200 years since he’s slept. Cage says to him it feels like they have worked 200 years to get to this point: wrestling in the Tag World Grand Prix for CHIKARA. He and Castle may have been known for eating chicken, but now they’re hungry for success and a different type of flesh altogether. Gangrel tells us to get ready because the freaks now come out all the time.

Tag World Grand Prix Opening Round Match
Zero Gravity (Brett Gakiya & CJ Esparza) vs. The Daywalkers (Mathias Cage & Alexandre Barnabus Castle)

The Daywalkers are sent by Gangrel to attack before the bell. Castle holds Esparza for a basement dropkick from Cage. Castle snapmares Esparza and goes to bite his neck. Referee PJ Drummond stops him from doing so. Zero Gravity double team Castle with slingshot dropkicks in the corner. Esparza drapes Cage on the middle rope for a moonsault/DDT combo with Gakiya for two. Gakiya dropkicks Cage and snapmares him into a low crossbody for two. Cage kicks his leg out. The Daywalkers deliver stereo axe and superkicks to Gakiya. They do some more damage to his legs. Gakiya spin kicks Cage in the stomach and kicks Castle off the apron. Cage back elbows him in the face. Gakiya moonsaults onto Castle on the floor. Esparza crossbody’s onto Cage. A standing shooting star press doesn’t get him the pin either. Cage kicks out his leg and knees him in the face. Gakiya crotches Cage on the middle rope. Esparza gives him a lung blower and Gakiya drives his knees into Cage’s back. Zero Gravity hit the Flippy Cup onto Castle for two. Cage rocks them both with haymakers. Castle log rolls Gakiya’s legs out into a dropkick from Cage. Esparza helps Gakiya with a moonsault but Castle gets his knees up. Cage bicycle kicks Gakiya into a Saito suplex from Castle for the pin at 6:12. That was shockingly short but very energetic. It was strange seeing Zero Gravity get in so much flashy offense and stand out considering the Daywalkers were the team getting the win. Hopefully they will get a better chance to shine in the second round. **½

Tag World Grand Prix Opening Round Match
The Colony (Fire Ant & Green Ant) vs. Los Ice Creams (El Hijo del Ice Cream & Ice Cream Jr.)

Before the match, Cabana chases Hijo in an attempt to eat him, but stops and feels bad when Hijo trips over the ring steps. Hijo’s hijinx against Fire Ant only end up frustrating himself. The Colony deliver stereo Japanese armdrags and a legdrop/splash combo. Hijo rolls out to avoid the Ants Marching dropkick. Jr. attacks Green Ant in the corner. Green Ant dives over him. He hip tosses him and delivers a low dropkick for two. Green Ant armdrags Jr. to the corner which knocks Hijo to the floor. Los Ice Creams and sent into each other a few more times after that. The Colony double flapjack Jr. and dropkick Hijo in the corner. Los Ice Creams attempt to hide amongst the fans. Jr.’s disguise allows him to throw Green Ant face first into the steps! Los Ice Creams beat down Fire Ant while Green Ant recovers. He manages to avoid an Ice Cream sandwich. He armdrags Jr. to the floor and hit Hijo with the Yahtzee Kick. The Colony throw multiple dropkicks to Jr.’s head. Los Ice Creams slam Fire Ant onto his chest and stomach. Hijo throws Fire Ant face first into Jr.’s feet for two. They set up Fire Ant for the Doomsday Device. Green Ant dropkicks Hijo to the floor. Fire Ant Burns Down the House on Jr. Green Ant gives Jr. a frog splash for the pin at 15:47. A little long but really entertaining. Seeing a classic Colony tag team was refreshing and Los Ice Creams brought their humor A-game. **¾

Sidney Bakabella is with all three Devastation Corporation members. Bakabella can’t believe they have to fight opponents they weren’t even scheduled to challenge. He says that they’re going out with a game plan because that’s how you make it to the pay window.

Tag World Grand Prix Opening Round Match
The Heart Throbs (Antonio Thomas & Romeo Roselli) vs. The Devastation Corporation (Max Smashmaster & Blaster McMassive)

The Heart Throbs are not in the building tonight. As is tradition, new opponents are to be pulled from a hat. This hat is peculiar though, because usually a baseball hat of some sort is used for names, but this time a top hat is utilized. The first name pulled is Submission Squad member Gary the Barn Owl! Gary emerges getting a far better reaction than the last time he was in CHIKARA. The next three names pulled are all Gary again. Then, Pierre Abernathy of the Submission Squad’s name is pulled! He comes out acting very surprised, although when more names are checked it’s clear that Pierre’s top hat was stuffed with Submission Squad member names. Looks like the fix is in folks; the Submission Squad found a way back into CHIKARA.

Tag World Grand Prix Opening Round Match
The Submission Squad( Pierre Abernathy & Gary the Barn Owl) vs. The Devastation Corporation (Max Smashmaster & Blaster McMassive)

While the Submission Squad are plotting, Smashmaster splashes both of them! He powerbombs Gary onto Abernathy. Abernathy rolls to the floor while the Devastation Corporation kills Gary with the Death Blow for the win in 0:33. That was awesome. I can’t believe how many of Gary’s feathers are in the ring after only thirty seconds. Amazing match. Davey Vega and Evan Gelestico collect Gary and bring him backstage. N/R

Tag World Grand Prix Opening Round Match
Saturyne & Heidi Lovelace vs. Arik Cannon & Darin Corbin

Cannon and Lovelace’s opening exchange leads to an unintentional hug. After an arm exchange Lovelace throws a forearm. Cannon is too gentlemanly to throw a punch so he tags in Corbin. Saturyne tags in as well. Their exchange ends with Saturyne throwing a chop. Corbin stops himself from throwing one and ends up getting dropkicked. Cannon and Lovelace are tagged back in. They chain wrestle. Cannon feels guilty for throwing a shoulder block. He slams Lovelace onto her face to block a huracanrana and also feels bad. Corbin is tagged in. He reluctantly gives her a backbreaker. Things go slow-mo when Corbin can’t figure out what to do. Cannon ends the slow motion sequence by planting a kiss on Lovelace and nailing her with his trademark haymaker! Saturyne jumps in and gives him a quesadora bulldog. She axe kicks Corbin twice. Saturyne drops gets two on Cannon with a tornado DDT. Corbin goes for a German suplex. Lovelace gives him a lung blower allowing Saturyne to dive onto Cannon on the floor. Lovelace frog splashes Corbin for two. Corbin boots her in the face while Cannon drags Saturyne to the floor. Lovelace is lit up with kicks. Saturyne saves her from being pinned. She kicks Cannon to the apron and sends Corbin into the second turnbuckle. Saturyne brings Cannon off the top rope with a Frakensteiner. Lovelace gives him a low huracanrana. Saturyne flubs a springboard maneuver. Corbin gives her an Ace Crusher. Cannon follows up with a brainbuster for the pin at 10:38. I thought the approach in the beginning was really creative. They incorporated Corbin’s slow-mo sequence into the match flawlessly while giving it a new little spin. Cannon & Corbin are magic when they team together in CHIKARA and Lovelace shined in her debut. Despite Saturyne’s flub, the finish sequence was cool. ***

Da Soul Touchaz (Marshe Rockett and Acid Jaz) say they’re facing the Pieces of Hate who most people are predicting to win the tournament. Marshe Rockett says differently and guarantees that their souls will be touched.

Tag World Grand Prix Opening Round Match
Da Soul Touchaz (Marshe Rockett & Acid Jaz) vs. Pieces of Hate (Jigsaw & The Shard)

Jaz and Shard play to the crowd, each getting much different reactions. Jaz drop toe holds Shard and puts on a front facelock. Shard punches him in the corner. Jaz kicks Shard in the stomach and spinwheel kicks him down for two. Rockett slams Shard. He then splashes Jaz onto him. Jigsaw chops Rockett in the corner. Rockett responds with some chops of his own. He knees Jigsaw in the side of the head and gamengiri’s him from the floor. He follows up with a slingshot senton for two. Jigsaw blocks a charge by elbowing Rockett in the stomach. Shard does some damage to his mid-section as well. Jaz throws some clotheslines at Jigsaw when he is tagged in. After driving him into the mat face first, Jaz drops a pair of dropkicks and dances his way into a fist drop. Jaz goes to the middle rope. Shard distracts him so Jigsaw can kick his leg out. The Pieces of Hate focus their attack on that leg. Jaz escapes their wrath by ducking Jigsaw’s yakuza kick and suplexing him into the corner. Rockett comes in with a crossbody to Jigsaw. He gives both him and The Shard leg lariats. He legdrops Jigsaw for two. Jaz knes Jigsaw in the face. Rockett Northern Lights suplexes him but Shard breaks the cover. Shard drops him on top of Jigsaw’s knees. Jaz rolls through a waterwheel slam attempt. Shard however puts him in an ankle lock. Jaz cradles him for two. He gives Shard a nice punch to the face. Rockett lands a Swanton Bomb for two. Rockett pescado’s after Jigsaw on the floor. This leaves the Shard to reapply the ankle lock to Jaz. Jaz cradles him again for two. Shard ducks a clothesline. He puts on the ankle lock. Shard grapevines the legs and Jaz taps at 14:43. It was pretty clear that Pieces of Hate were saving themselves for the later show, but both teams still put on a solid outing. It built up the Pieces of Hate’s game plan for the rest of the evening, though it did leave this show feeling as if was without a true main event. ***

The 411: This was a fun show and a nice lead up to the 2nd Stage, but it doesn't really stand a lot of ground on it's own. It's required viewing if you plan to get the 2nd Stage but totally unnecessary otherwise. Simple as that. You can purchase the show on DVD, mp4, or steam it On Demand over at Smart Mark Video. Be sure to check out all of my CHIKARA reviews at my CHIKARA blog; "The CHIKARA Special" In addition to that, you can check out a lot of promos from CHIKARA DVDs over at the CHIKARA Special YouTube Page. Be sure to follow me on Twitter as well!

Final Score:  7.0   [ Good ]