24/7 Insight: WWE 24/7 Online Match Review Part 1 (Month of April)

Hello everyone! This is Zach Barnett sigining on for the first review at 411 of the WWE 24/7 Online service. Today boys and girls, we will be looking at some select matches from the month of April. Next week, I should have most of the other April matches reviewed. Feel free to e-mail me and let me know if there are any matches on the service you want me to review! Let’s get right into it…..

WWE RAW – Papa Shango vs. Scott Taylor
April 12, 1993 | Approx. run time: 3 mins.

So we get a young Scotty 2 Hotty here and a Voodoo doctor who made a 360 degree turn, as far as his occupation, a couple of years down the road. All aboard the squash train for this one, I’m afraid. Kick to the gut from Papa Shango to start. A couple of weak punches from Taylor are not sold by Papa, as they very well shouldn’t be. We get another no sell off a drop kick and the second attempt at one from Taylor is swatted off by Papa Shango. This match is bringing up bad memories for me as I recall being pissed off as a child at the fact that on the SNES version of Royal Rumble, Shango wasn’t a playable character, but I’m pretty sure he was on the Sega version. Or at least he was on the cover art. Any who, we’re back with Taylor getting a couple forearm shots to the sternum for his failed attempt at some bull shit offense. When your offense offends Papa Shango, you might as well call it quits. BIG hip toss out of the corner sends Taylor clear across the ring. Wow, that was kinda stiff. An impressive looking belly to back suplex and Papa Shango is just dropping Mr. 2 Hotty on his damn head now. An eye rake from Shango from behind as a not so suicidal Tim White gives us the count. Clean break but Shango goes right back to the eye rake. Shango hoists Taylor up with one arm and just vaults him across the ring with a scoop slam. I think he’s just trying to see how hard he can drop him now. Big drop down head butt to the groin of Taylor and I am starting to sense the end of this beat down. One more for good measure with a stiff looking face first suplex to the mat by Shango. We get a not so impressive shoulder breaker for the finish as Shango puts Taylor out of his misery. Hey, I’m diggin’ Shango’s top hat. All voodoo witch doctors should have one.

Rating: I’ll give it a ½* for some of the stiff stuff.

Final Thoughts: Just your basic squash match, here. Nothing more, nothing less.

WWE RAW – Bret Hart vs. Stone Cold (Street Fight)
April 21, 1997 | Approx. run time: 14 mins.

Vince informs us that “It’s on!” as we cut in with Austin’s music playing him down the ramp. Hmmm…we skip through a T.V. break….AND WE’RE BACK! We get a replay of what happened during the break as Austin jumps up on the announce table and gets in Vince’s face. It’s funny to hear Vince when he wasn’t a heel, as we’ve become so accustomed to it these days. Austin buries his head into the turnbuckle as if to convey the fact that he can’t wait for Bret to get down to the ring. Hart’s music hits and Austin turns toward the ramp anticipation. Bret SLOWLY, and I mean SLOWLY limps down to the ring and fakes a couple of ring entrances only to back off as Austin approaches. Bret teases another ring entrance but, FROM BEHIND!!! British Bulldog and Owen Hart (RIP both of you) hit the ring and are all over Austin. Now Bret enters and joins the Austin beat down. Bulldog rips off Austin’s shirt and starts choking him out as Owen and Bret work the body over. Here comes Shawn Michaels through the crowd with a steel chair! He’s wearing a sport coat, by the way. Gotta look good when you’re making the save. I respect that. Bret ducks a chair shot but Owen is not so lucky. Geeze, Owen took that one the hard way too. Shot to the back of the Bulldog as well. They clear the ring as Michaels paces around, willing to oblige anyone who might, “Want some more”. Back outside, Shawn chases off Owen and the Bulldog as we are left with Austin and Hart in the ring. Leg drop from Bret as he is quick to get up and pose to the crowd. Bret continues to punch Austin’s lights out as he appears to be in complete control, but we all know how that goes. PILEDRIVER to Austin, which is rarity in itself, and Bret is on the outside looking for a chair. He sets Austin’s ankle up in the chair and begins to climb the ropes. Bret is looking to Pillmanize the ankle but Austin moves at the last second and Bret comes down hard on his already injured leg. That was a dumb move I guess, considering his own leg was already “hurt”. Austin now back on the offensive with a chair shot to Bret’s leg and down goes Bret. Austin proceeds to stomp his proverbial mud hole in Bret’s chest. More shots with the chair to the knee. Bret is selling it like a champ. Bret begs off in the corner now but Austin is having none of it. More shots to the knee and a vicious shot to the body with the chair. Damn, he lit him up with that last one. Bret is dragged to center of the ring and Austin gives him the two finger salute as he turns him over in the SHARPSHOOTER! Austin has it locked in and Bret has no one to make the save. Refs are out to try and pull Austin off. Why, I don’t know. I mean, it’s a street fight damn it! FINALLY, Austin lets go as Bret is writhing in pain. Bulldog and Owen are back down to check on Bret. Bulldog yells for a stretcher and an ambulance because “He’s broke he’s leg!!” and “Look what he’s did!!!”, referring to Austin. I LOVE his accent! We go backstage where Gorilla Monsoon confronts Austin about his actions but Austin won’t take the criticism. Apparently Austin is out of control, but he really doesn’t seem to care, in fact, he’s not done yet. Or so he tells Monsoon. Back in the ring Bret is helped to the back by Owen and the Bulldog as Vince tells us to stay put for more MONDAY NIGHT RAW!!!!

Rating: *½

Final Thoughts: It’s not so much a match as it is just a brawl. It’s cool for the nostalgia reason of Raw’s gone by, but that’s about it. Bret and Austin have had MANY more memorable meetings that this one.

WCW Kollision in Korea – Wild Pegasus vs. 2 Cold Scorpio
April 28, 1995 | Approx. run time: 9 mins.

This one could be good. Scorpio comes down to the ring, with some kind of funk/trumpet music as his theme. Eeek. I guess the music matches his silver vest and American flag pants, though. Upon entering the ring Scorpio begins to, “get down with his bad self.” This must have been the match Vince saw when he OK’d the Flash Funk gimmick, I take it. Wild Pegasus now makes his way down to the ring. If it’s all the same, I feel as if I need to refer to him as Benoit throughout the course of this. Flowers from the Asian ladies to both men, as we get our introduction from the Korean announcer. Lock up to start and both men end up in the corner. Clean break from Scorpio, but Benoit pushes him. Scorpio acknowledges he now knows Benoit’s not playing around. After all, he’s not just any Pegasus, damn it. He’s a WILD Pegasus. Very nice, smooth arm bar and hammer lock reversals by both men, here. Flip out reversal by Scorpio as he runs Benoit into the ropes. Benoit holds on and Scorpio back flips off him. Nice. Leap frog and a duck down as Benoit grabs Scorpio’s legs but Scorpio uses his leverage to flip Benoit over and ass first on the canvas. Benoit backs off into the corner as he wants no more from Scorpio at the moment. Nice early exchange here, by these two. Benoit wants a test of strength now and Scorpio is more than willing to oblige. Scorpio gets the advantage as he bends Benoit all the way back to the canvas. Nice bridge back up by Benoit and he takes Scorpio down the same way. Jumping mount onto Scorpio by Benoit as he is trying to break Scorpio’s bridge. Scouted by Scorpio and we get a monkey flip into a reversed pin attempt from Benoit. A couple of traded pin attempts and both men are back on their feet. The fans give them a round of applause, as they should for that exchange. No wasted motion from these two, tonight. Back up, Scorpio gives Benoit the stare of death. But, Benoit no sells it, which I am OK with. Kick to the gut from Scorpio as he sends Benoit into the corner. Irish whip and Benoit dumps Scorpio onto the apron. Springboard moonsault from the top rope back in from Scorpio scores a 2 count. Crescent kick from Scorpio drops Benoit again and he signals that he’s going up top again. Big splash from the top misses as Benoit rolls out of the way. Forearm shot from Benoit and then he hangs Scorpio out to dry on the top rope with a front face suplex. Whip and Scorpio missed a roundhouse but Benoit answers with a dropkick. Suplex back in reversed and Scorpio hits a big jumping crescent kick. I will refer to it as the crescent kick, in memory of Lord Alfred Hayes. Scorpio sets Benoit up for a tombstone. Bend back reversal from Benoit as he just plants Scorpio with his own tombstone pile driver. Diving head butt from the top ends this one as Chris “Wild Pegasus” Benoit picks up the win in Korea.

Rating: **¼

Final Thoughts: It’s a fun match with some nice exchanges between the two. Given more time, this could have been something special. It’s worth a look but I wouldn’t sweat it if you don’t check it out.

ECW Guilty as Charged – Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn
January 7, 2001 | Approx. run time: 19 mins.

We’re off and running quick in this one as the match cuts in with Jerry Lynn “from behind!” all over RVD. Here we go with our first exchange, irish whip and a duck down. Sweep attempt from RVD is scouted by Jerry Lynn. Leap frog by Lynn and a split leg duck down from RVD. Lynn missed a leg drop as RVD rolls out. Spin kick from the crouched position evaded by Lynn. Leg sweep from Lynn missed as RVD back flips out. Another whip and RVD back slides out. Both men pause for their well deserved round of applause. Lynn is frustrated and seeks counseling from Cyrus “The Virus”. I don’t think I’m alone in saying that, in every gimmick Cyrus was ever in, he fucking sucked. That’s neither here nor there and I promise to try not to mention him ever again. Another lock up and an arm wringer from RVD, Lynn rolls out and reverses it to his own arm lock. Back leg sweep from RVD and Lynn is down. Somersault leg drop is missed by RVD. Kick and an irish whip but RVD grabs the far ropes. Lynn rushes in, CROSSBODY BLOCK OVER THE TOP ROPE! Both men are sent to the floor. Very nice spot to build from. Not too crazy but enough to make you get excited. Lynn whips RVD into the guard railing a couple of times on the outside. RVD’s bleeding from the mouth and Joey Styles lets us know this. Lynn charges at RVD who us up against the guard railing. Boot from RVD blocks the attempt. SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT off the guard railing from RVD on to Jerry Lynn. Damn. Stiff shots from RVD and a hard whip into the railing goes Lynn. RVD drops Lynn sternum first across the railing. Corkscrew guillotine leg drop from the ring apron drops Lynn back to the concrete. RVD back in the ring waits for Lynn to get up. Lynn climbs back on the apron and catches a forearm. RVD attempts a suplex back in the ring but Lynn flips out. Lynn off the ropes charging and RVD meets him with a gorilla press, face first drop. Standing moonsault RIGHT after the drop and then a forward flip up. RVD charging to the corner and he hits a second rope moonsault for a 2 count! RVD takes a bow after that one and receives his praise from the audience. I gotta give it to him on that one, that was amazing. Shit, he is AMAZING. Back up RVD whips Lynn to the corner but Lynn jumps to the top rope. RVD charges and vaults himself towards Lynn who meets him with a top rope clothesline. Geeze. He jacked him up with that one. Classic Jerry Lynn spot with the fake and leg drop across the rope on the apron. Baseball slide from in the ring to RVD on the apron sends him into the railing. Whip into the railing by Lynn and he follows with a clothesline. Lynn is now pulling back the mats on the outside, which according to Styles, are “mandated by the New York State Athletic commission”. No excuses needed, Joey. I wouldn’t wanna bump on some concrete either. Lynn scoops RVD up and slams him across the exposed concrete. A “hit the bald guy” chant goes up as this asshole who I just now saw in the crowd is harassing Jerry Lynn. Taking his life in his own hands, I guess. Back in we get a couple of 2 counts with some pin exchanges and Lynn botches a school boy attempt, pretty bad. “You fucked up!”, from the fans. I forgive him, though. Northern lights suplex blocked with a feint kick from RVD. ROLLING THUNDER gets a 2 count. RVD grabs a chair. Dropkick in the face of Lynn, with the chair. RVD drops the chair in the middle of the ring as he somersaults toward Lynn in the corner. Lynn side steps it and hits a top rope power bomb on the chair! That was sick, his head bounced off the chair. 2 count is all, though. German suplex from Lynn gets 2. Lynn continues working over RVD and he grabs the chair. Whip and a backdrop attempt gets blocked by Lynn with a DDT on the steel chair! 2 count is all. Spring back kick from RVD takes Lynn down. He’s going up for the 5 Star but Cyrus (I tried not to mention him) decides to insert himself into the match again by grabbing his leg. RVD kicks his ass off the ring apron. Good, he has no business near a wrestling ring any how. 5 star attempt misses big time and Lynn rolls him up. CLOSE 2 count and all hell is breaking lose now. Joel Gertner is chasing Cyrus into the ring now. DDT to Cyrus from Gertner. Thank you for that. Lynn grabs the chair and swings for RVD’s head. He misses but RVD doesn’t, Van Daminator to the face of Lynn! Gertner is on the ring apron and he is calling for it. Gertner holds the chair across Lynn’s face in the corner. VAN TERMINATOR to Jerry Lynn! Of course, that gets RVD the 3 count and the win.

Rating: ***½

Final Thoughts: Very good match between the two, but I’ve seen better between them. They never disappointed and this match is worth the watch.

WWE SummerSlam – Brock Lesnar vs. The Rock
August 26, 2002 | Approx. run time: 18 mins.

This one was pretty much a forgone conclusion amongst the wrestling community. Rock rushes the ring to start and fires off with right hands…well his trademark “slaps”, rather. Brock is quickly annoyed with such Tom Foolery and snaps Rock over with a big overhead release belly to belly. Rock begins his selling of death to Brock, for the whole match, at this point. Quick cover and a 2 count brings both men back to their feet. Brock hits 2 consecutive back breakers for another 2 count. Rock is worked over to the corner and met with some surprisingly stiff shoulder blocks and then a knee to the head which sends Mr. Walking Tall to the outside. Brock follows and sends Rock over the guard rail in to “the peeps” with a clothesline. Back up, Brock drops Rocky down, sternum first across the railing. Here we come back into the outside area of the ring as Brock dumps Rock back over with ANOTHER clothesline. Clotheslines and shoulder blocks for everyone! Brock rolls Rocky back in the ring as Heyman shouts “You gotta win the title in the ring, Brock!” Thank you for that reminder, Paul. Plus, I just realized that there is NO commentary on this 24/7 match. What’s up with that? Anyways, back in, Brock with ANOTHER overhead belly to belly to Rocky and a cover. The people in this building wanted Rock to lose so bad, it’s kinda sad. Cover gets (shock) only 2 as Brock lets out an inaudible yell. Both men up as Rock fires off a couple open hand bitch slaps and hits the ropes only to be tripped up by Paul E. Elbow drops from Brock follow as Rock is down on the mat. Ref backs Brock off as Heyman sneaks a choke in on Rocky. No WWE, I don’t accept Rocky selling Paul Heyman’s offense. Both men back up and Rocky begins to fire off again. God, these people hated it even when Rock got off a couple punches. Rock hits the ropes and is met with a huge power slam from Brock to the mat. Another 2 count and Brock is becoming more pissed. The inevitable “Rocky Sucks” chant goes up. I’m starting to believe this people would have accepted an F-5, 2 seconds into the match for a title change to Brock. 5:37 into this match, Rock FINALLY hits an offensive maneuver in the form a belly to back suplex, met with a chorus of boo’s. Both men nip up at the same time. Here we go. A stare down as Rock hits the ropes and delivers a clothesline which Brock no sells. Another one and Brock is shaking it off and pounding his chest. Finally, Rock scores a knock down then a DDT as both men get back up. CLOSE 2 count off the DDT. The crowd didn’t like that too much. Here comes Rock with a SHARPSHOOTER which is met with (shock) boo’s as Brock is turned over. Ref is down asking Lesnar if he wants to call it a night but Brock shakes him off. We get a “Let’s go Lesnar” chant as Brock is trying to fight it off. Here we can plainly see the Rock mouth “Fuck off” to the fans in attendance for their support of Lesnar. Make sure you put that on the next edition of “When Good Faces Go Bad”. Brock lifts his hand as if he might tap but Heyman jumps on the apron to distract the ref. This draws Rocky off of Brock as Rock brings Heyman in the ring “the hard way”. He sets Heymen up for a Rock Bottom but it is foiled by a now standing Lesnar. With the ref distracted, Brock slams a steel chair into The Rock’s midsection and follows it up with a BEARHUG! Everyone try not to shit your pants from excitement. After what seems like an eternity of foiled escape plans, Rock FINALLY breaks the bear hug and punches Brock off to get some space. Heyman is back on the apron but this time the distraction leads to Rock hitting a low blow on Lesnar. More boo’s from the fans. Rock’s facial expressions are priceless during this match about why he is being booed. We fast forward to Rock and Brock on the outside as Rock is cleaning off the announce table, implying he’s going to use it. Oh, but not for Mr. Lesnar, you see. Rocky hoists Heyman up on the table and hits the Rock Bottom through the table. Wow, kinda obvious how much Rock was protecting Heyman there on the fall. Rock is feeling it now. He tosses Brock back in and stalks him as Brock is slow to get up. ROCK BOTTOM!!! 1-2-NO!!!! Rock mouths “WTF??”. Then, in a somewhat gay effort to put Brock over, begins to mouth so we can all read it, “What do I have to do?”, over and over. Rock is shaking off the “Lesnar” chants as he gets back up. Lesnar pops up and hits his own Rock Bottom on the Rock and the crowd loves it! 2 count is all, folks. Both men are back up and Rock reverses an irish whip into a spine buster and sets up for the People’s Elbow. He hits the ropes but as he comes back, he is met with a HUGE clothesline from Lesnar! DAMN! Rock goes up for the F-5, but he spins out and goes for a Rock Bottom. Lesnar elbows his way out of the attempt. Rock tries again but is spun up into the F-5 again. The crowd is on their feet. BAM!!! F-5 and a cover from Lesnar. 1-2-3!!! The crowd erupts as Lesnar is announced as the NEW WWE Undisputed Champion and the making of the flavor of the moment was complete.

Rating: ***

Final Thoughts: It was obvious from the beginning the only purpose of this match. It was to put Brock over and put him over big time. They did a nice job of it, the fans ate it up, and the work rate wasn’t too God awful. A nice watch.

WCW Nitro – Rey Mysterio vs. Dean Malenko
July 8, 1996 | Approx. run time: 11 mins.

We come into the match with Rey Mysterio making his way down to the ring. This is one of those Nitro shows that they use to hold at Disney MGM Studios. They never did build up to that Hogan/Mickey Mouse World Title match I was expecting. Think of the buy rate! Oh well, their lose I guess. Damn, Schivani is pimping off the second hour hard here and hasn’t even mentioned this match that is about to happen. This was the night after the infamous Bash at the Beach where Hogan turned and formed the N.W.O. Schivani is telling everyone to call their friends and tell them to tune in. I’ve never seen such a ratings plea from a television show. My God, this is kinda sad. Anyhow, we start with a lock up and a go behind by Malenko. Float over exchanges and a quick roll up from Malenko gets a 2 count. Whip by Malenko and a charge gets a boot from Mysterio. Nice up and over head scissors by Mysterio. Another whip and another nice float over hip toss from Mysterio. Malenko bails to the outside and Mysterio does the little fake dive through the ropes to back Malenko off even more. Our Disney patrons seemed to like that exchange, and so did I. Nice moves from Mysterio gets us a second rope springboard drop kick that sends Malenko to the mat. To the outside we get another springboard drop kick for a 2 count. Another charge and an attempt at a reversal and…Malenko just tosses him off. Pin attempt gets 2. They must have botched a spot here, it looked pretty awkward. Powerbomb attempt by Malenko is countered with an arm drag. Finally Malenko catches Mysterio and plants him with a spinning backbreaker. Very nice overhead head and arm suplex by Malenko. That was some nice shit right there, my friends. 2 count is all though. We come back in from our commercial break and Mysterio gets a BIG farewell face drop on Mysterio to some nice crowd reaction. Stiff looking TIGERBOMB from Malenko gets a 2 count. God, no one does that better than Malenko. Malenko rolls over and applies a camel clutch. No wasted motion from Dean. No surprise there, though. Roll up from Mysterio gets 2. Malenko hangs Mysterio over the top rope with a face first suplex. That sent Rey all the way outside. Back in Malenko applies a headlock to wear down Rey. And, it looks like Dean wants to go back outside as he tosses Rey out. BRAINBUSTER from Malenko to Mysterio on the outside! Holy shit! Dean breaks the count and comes back out to bring Rey back in. He’s happy with himself after that one. I miss Dean Malenko now, it’s official. Scoop and a slam gets 2 for Malenko. Pumphandle attempt his reversed into a cross body for Mysterio and a 2 count. Hurricanrana send both men to the outside! Asai moonsault attempt from Rey only clips Dean and Rey hits hard. Damn, that could have been a lot worse for Rey. That basically was a straight fall from the catapult off the ring ropes to the concrete. Rey is no bitch, however, and he is right back up. DRAGONRANA from Rey to Malenko gets only 2! Wow, Rey snapped that mother off big time. Top rope springboard moonsault gets Rey another 2 count. Rey goes up top but Malenko is up to stop him with a headbutt. Both men are on the top rope now and Malenko drapes Rey across his shoulders. What the hell is he gonna do? TOP ROPE GORDBUSTER to REY! Oh my God! That was S-I-C-K! I mean, he tossed him in the air while jumping and then caught him and just absolutely killed him with it. 1-2- and he pulled Rey up. Somehow, I think that may have been a mistake, Dean. Whip to the corner and a release overhead throw kills Mysterio again. Damn it Dean, you are the SHIT! 2 count and Dean pulls him up AGAIN! I’m convinced he wants to kill him now. Malenko whips him again but Mysterio counters with a roll through Hurricanrana! 3 count gets Mysterio the win and he becomes the new WCW Cruiserweight Champion!

Rating: ***3/4

Final Thoughts: That match was one of the best TV cruiser matches I’ve ever seen. Given more time to build the spots, it could have been a classic. Dean Malenko is the MAN and Mysterio worked his ass off to put on this gem of a match. WATCH THIS MATCH!

The 411: Of these random April matches, most are pretty entertaining. There is really only one throw away (the squash match) and the rest are pretty fun. Lynn/RVD and Malenko/Mysterio are hands down the best of the litter here. If you've never seen the Malenko/Mysterio match from Nitro, then this is the only must see from this bunch.
Final Score:  8.0   [ Very Good ]