411’s TNA Impact Report 1.10.08

TNA Impact Begins…NOW!
-We get a video package from Final Resolution to kick off the show.

-Crystal catches up with Roode. She says everyone is amazed that he broke Sharmell’s jaw. He turns the blame on Booker and says Sharmell was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He then says shit happens, because this is pro wrestling. Tonight, he will face Miss Brooks, and what happens tonight is intentional. Wait and see what happens to Miss Brooks, when Robert Roode Inc. is finished with her.

-Tenay and West welcome us to the show. They hype the show, including Brooks vs. Kong for the title in the main event.

Senshi and Elix Skipper vs. The Motor City Machineguns (Shelley and Sabin)

Elix and Senshi attack before the bell and send Sabin to the floor. Off the ropes and a double back elbow to Shelley. Senshi covers for 2. Rights by Senshi, Shelley back with chops but Elix in and they beat down Shelley. Leg Lariat Hart Attack on Shelley gets 2. Head butts by Senshi, chops now and then a snap mare and cover for 2. Senshi gets the front face lock, knees and then he nails Sabin to the floor. They double-team Shelley, but he tosses Elix into Senshi, nails the Code Breaker and tags Sabin in for the missile dropkick. YAKUZA to Senshi! Sidekick and cradle shock try, tag to Shelley and he tosses Elix to the floor. PLANCHA by Shelley! Sabin up top…TIDAL CRUSH by Senshi stops that! Senshi up top, Shelley in and grabs his leg. Drop toehold to Elix and Senshi into the tree of woe, on top of Senshi and they deliver dropkicks. Elix tossed to the floor, spin kick to Senshi by Sabin and they get some cool ass suplex/cutter combination move, which rocks. Enziguri combo and the Guns take the win. We’ll call that the suplex/cutter combination the “Rat a Tat Tat.”

Winners: The Motor City Machineguns @ 3:58 via pin

Kick ass little opener there, but short. They went a mile a minute and got the crowd into the show, which is what the opener should do.
Rating: **

-Cage is out and he cleans out Elix and then Senshi. He says he and AJ have a problem that they need to work out. He could live with AJ wanting to be his own man, but not with the fact that AJ cost him the title. Cage says he gave AJ everything in this business, and tonight he takes it back.

-Crystal is with Jim Cornette. Harris is in his office demanding respect. He doesn’t have a locker room and since he has been here since day one he is better than this. Cornette wants to shoot himself because Harris only pisses and moans. He then says Harris can have a match with Mesias. He tells Harris to get ready, and Harris says he will be back. Cornette says if he makes it back, he’ll commit suicide on national TV. Joe is here and asks if Cornette set him up. Cornette says Joe got himself into it, and he has to get himself out of it. Joe promises to handle it tonight.

-Earlier tonight JB, AJ, Kurt and Karen all arrived together. JB is their personal interview bitch. Kurt says they will officially coronate AJ into the Angle Alliance. After tonight he will be Prince AJ Styles. The make JB get the bags.

-The Angle’s, AJ and JB all discuss Cage will be going after AJ. AJ asks JB what he should do, and then he asks Kurt. AJ says he doesn’t want to be crippled, and Kurt tells him not to worry. He then tells him to get ready for the coronation. AJ asks Karen what he should do, and says he doesn’t want to die. Karen says not to worry, fix your hair, put your tux on and hide. He asks JB to come and hide with him. Tomko comes into the room and AJ hugs him. Tomko says if you want to dance, you got to pay the band and that AJ is on his own.

Judas Mesias w/Jim Mitchell vs. Chris Harris

Mesias attacks Harris on the floor and the match is off and running. They go to the ring and Mesias pummels him in the corner, chops and off the ropes and a boot by Harris. He tries again, and Mesias levels him. Boot by Mesias, face jam and he poses. Mesias up top…MISSES a splash. Lefts by Harris, off the ropes and a lariat by Harris. Spine buster by Harris for 2. An Irish whip and then the face jam by Harris. Catatonic try, countered and THE MIST~! Mesias gets the Straight to Hell and Harris is done.

Winner: Judas Mesias @ 2:25 via pin

Short and inoffensive. Mesias stays strong on the way to revealing CHRIS ABYSS’ secret, and their next encounter.
Rating: *

-Crystal is with Miss Brooks. Crystal is worried about her and says she cannot get into the ring with Roode. Brooks says she cannot hide and allow him to win, she isn’t weak and or scared. Brooks knows she has to go to the ring and face THAT SON OF A BITCH!

-We get a replay of Mitchell saying that next week he or CHRIS ABYSS will reveal the secret.

-Tenay and West discuss what Mitchell said, and then discuss Roode vs. Brooks. We’ll also get a Booker T interview tonight.

-We get a video package for Kong vs. Kim.

The VKM (Kip and BG James) w/Roxxi vs. Petey Williams and Sonjay Dutt

Kip is wearing his regular style tights, thank God. Petey Williams now has a Chris Masters style entrance, minus the cape. Steve Cook defends Petey Williams and says he doesn’t use Steroids, just B12 like Roger Clemens. Lock up and Kip tosses Dutt down, no hug for him. Top wrist lock, Williams in and Kip tosses them both down, but they come back, standing moonsault and running senton by Dutt and Kip rushes to tag in BG. BG and Williams in, basement dropkick to BG and a trip on Kip. A jawbreaker on BG and we’ll head to a commercial @ 1:20.

Back from commercial @ 5:15 with Kip covering Williams for 2. Side back breaker by Kip connects, Scott Steiner is down to ringside and switches briefcases with Williams! Suplex by Kip, but Williams knees out and tags in Dutt. Kip slams him to a corner, Irish whip and a side step and kick by Dutt. Missile dropkick to Kip, wheelbarrow try but Kip face plants Dutt. Williams realizes he is case was switched and abandons Dutt. Dutt hugs BG, which leads BG and Kip to argue and Kip shoves down BG, allowing Dutt to roll Kip up for the pin.

Winners: Dutt and Williams @ 7:23 via pin

There was a bit more commercial than match, I HATE that. It was fine, heavy angle, but fine. We now have another deadline for next week, and more friends that don’t get along.
Rating: *

-After the match Dutt kisses Miss Elizabeth/So Cal Val.

-Kip is on the mic and demands to know who BG’s partner will be by next week. They crowd chants “DX REJECTS!”

-Crystal asks what Cage will do to AJ when he finds him, and we see AJ hiding under a table that they walked by.

-Back from commercial and JB and AJ talk under the table. AJ farted. Seriously. Eric Young finds them and tells AJ to go to the park to hide, because there are tons of people in Universal. AJ doesn’t want to be a target and says he will go and hide. Eric stays behind.

-We get a video package of 3D vs. The X-Division.

-3D and Devine are in the ring and say they beat the X-Division at Ultimate X. They propose at Against All Odds, the three of them vs. The Guns and Machismo again. Hardcore Street Fight. If the X-Guys win, they will give back the X-Title, but if 3D and Devine wins, the X-Division goes away forever. That’s the deal. OH MY BRUTHA…TESTIFY~!

-Crystal and Security follow Joe to find Nash, who has a bat. Nash says he doesn’t fight for free. He says to tell Cornette to write two checks for $100,000 and they can fight. Nash says he has everything Joe wants, and says he didn’t screw Joe. He helped him. What Joe is doing isn’t working and he needs Nash’s wisdom. He hands Joe the belt, and Joe says he should kill him, and Nash says he won’t. He should have hit him.

-We see Angle talking about Kim vs. Kong, he says it is an anticipated match and he picks Kim because she has heart, even though Kong is the most dominating woman in wrestling, ever.

-Earlier this week Tenay interviewed Booker T at the hospital. Booker says she has a shattered jaw (we see footage) and Tenay asks, what are his emotions right now. Booker blames himself. Sharmell always wants to watch his back and support him, and he always lets her have what she wants, which might have been the biggest mistake he ever made. Watching her suffer with a wired jaw is more than he can take. But you know what, Sharmell will get up and walk out of the hospital and he will then stop taking it out on myself, he will then focus it all on Robert Roode. All of the pain he feels will go on Robert Roode. He changed the game, because now it is personal, about being a man. He thanks us and goes back to Sharmell.

Robert Roode vs. Miss Brooks

Roode says he heard what Booker said and it was pathetic. All he has to say is BOO HOO! He says Booker agreed to the match and agreed to put the horse faced skank of a wife in the ring knowing anything could happen. And so what, he broke her jaw. He should thank Roode, because now she can loose some weight. Speaking of over weight skanks, that bring shim to Miss Brooks. It is official, SHE IS FIRED from Robert Roode Inc. But that isn’t enough, Robert Roode Inc will do what he should have done a long time ago. And a broken jaw will be like a splinter compared to what he does to her.

Brooks makes her way to the ring with a mic. She tells Roode to shut up and says she is scared. She says he broke Sharmell’s jaw and everyday he has abused her as well. Does that get him off, abusing women? She says Roode has everything, power, cars, money, looks, talent, a life most dream of. At the end of the day he is just a prick named BOB~! He tells her to SHUT HER CAKE HOLE! She has been with greatness, and she blew it. So now, TRACI, it is time to find out that it pays to be Roode.

Cornette is out and says for Roode to not even move. He says Roode will not touch Brooks, he, TNA, SPIKE and the fans will not allow it. He calls Roode an embarrassment to the male species and it disgusts him. He has the power to suspend him for the rest of his life, the crowd is into this. He says he should have him ran over with a truck even. But he will not. Because he wants to see what happens when Booker comes back to take him apart YOU BASTARD~! Cornette says he promises if Traci goes back, security will escort her away and BOBBY will not hurt her anymore.

As Traci leaves the MYSTERY FAN attacks! She lays the boots to Brooks on the ramp and then gets a chair shot to boot. Roode chases off Cornette as MISS BANKS beats her down. She is officially her replacement. Matt Morgan is out and helps Cornette run off Roode and Banks.

Winner: NO MATCH

-Black Machismo discusses Wendy Richter vs. Moolah in tonight’s main event.

-JB is inside Universal Studios, and AJ is in the park somewhere. AJ is dressed like one of the Mummy Ride workers. AJ refuses to go back to the Impact Zone, and JB says Karen wants him to come back. Karen is waiting for him in the men’s room.

LAX (Homicide y Hernandez) w/Selena vs. The Rock ‘N Rave Infection (Hoyt and Rave)

Hemme is not with the RNR Infection tonight. Hernandez and Hoyt to begin, Hernandez stops a suplex and gets a stalling suplex on Hoyt. Rave tags in, backdropped and Cide tags in. Hip toss by Cide, Irish whip and a boot by Rave. Tag back to Hoyt, misses a right and Cide fights back, Hoyt gets a hip toss and big boot. Black Out try countered by Cide, GRINGO CUTTER~! Tags to Hernandez and Rave. Hernandez cleans house, tosses Rave across the ring and then gets a shoulder tackle. They double-team Rave, Catapult into the clothesline and then the 2bd rope senton by Cide gets 2. Hoyt in, up top and Hernandez tosses him all the way to the floor. GRINGO KILLER, countered, roll up by Rave for 2. GRINGO KILLER connects and Rave MAY be dead.

Winners: LAX@ 3:20 via pin

It didn’t get enough time to be anything, but it was fine. Their PPV match was better and got the time it needed.
Rating: *¼

-ODB doesn’t care who wins the title match, because she gets the next shot at the TNA “KNOCKED UP” title. ODB is wacky.

-Crystal is with Tomko, he says AJ is on his own and he will look out for himself. Tomko says AJ has a crush on Karen, which is why he chose Angle. Or maybe he has a crush on Kurt.

Tomko vs. Shark Boy

Sharky has more bandages and is on crutches. He requested a match with a big, bad dude tonight. Big Boot by Tomko. He picks up Sharky, press slam into the sack of shit slam. Tomko gets the TOM-KO slam (TKO variation) for the win.

Winner: Tomko @ 1:42 via pin

Sharky and Colin Delaney would make a great tag team.
Rating: SQAUSH

-They bring out a stretcher for Sharky.

-AJ goes to meet with Karen. She is getting dressed in the men’s room and AJ ties up her dress. Karen asks JB to leave because they need alone time. She promises JB time alone, because she’s a whore. Karen says that AJ has to step up, and he has made her so proud and he can become a string man, even more than Kurt. She then says Kurt knows nothing about this. Karen says it is the night for AJ to face his fears, FLY, SOAR AJ! FLY LIKE AN EAGLE! AJ goes to get his tux.

-Crystal is with Kaz and “Marlena,” formerly known as Misty the Rat. He decorated the cage, and says if his friend wants the mouse back, he can come and get it.

*~AJ’S CORONATION~*

Kurt, Karen and AJ all come to the ring. They are working the Bob Backlund like bowties. There is a throne in the ring, and Kurt says he is coronation the newest member of the alliance, PRINCE AJ Styles! He has AJ sit on the throne, and he even has a crown for him. Angle pronounces him PRINCE. AMEN and AMEN! Kurt says AJ made a hard choice, but chose to go with Kurt, regardless of what may happen. Kurt goes on too say that how AJ did it was graceful. He knows it was cold and calculated, but he ensures that AJ made the right choice. AJ is on too bigger and better things. He calls AJ a genius for hugging him, pulling Cage into his trust before hitting him.

Christian Cage makes his way to the ring, and says Kurt painted a great picture. But he forgot to say that he had Angle in the ankle lock and made Kurt tap. “YOU TAPPED OUT CHANTS!” Cage wants to address PRINCE AJ. You made your decision “THEY CHANT PRINCESS AJ,” and Cage then asks is he is ready to man up? AJ says he is ready to man up and not take any more crap. Cage says he is acting like a man while Karen pulls the strings. Cage makes a joke about Karen being a slut and AJ is OFFENDED and calls Karen a lady! AJ says he can take Cage, and Cage comes to the ring…

But Samoa Joe is now coming out to the ring. Joe says Kurt needs to understand that he wants his title shot now. AJ tells him to shut up as well and says they call the shots. Joe says AJ put on his big boy voice today. Cage says the champ is over here, but may be they can agree that they need to kick AJ and Kurt’s ass.

Cornette is out to be a buzz kill, and admits Cage got a raw deal, and agrees that Joe should be a challenger as well. As for AJ Styles, he wants to see him get whooped, so next week it is Joe vs. Cage vs. AJ. If Cage wins, he gets a title match at the PPV, same for Joe. If AJ wins, he can chose a title match, or can choose for Angle to get two months off of title defenses.

-KONG and KIM WALK!

-Tenay gives us the tale of the tape for the title match.

-JB does the super special ring announcing.

TNA Knockouts Title Match: Gail Kim © vs. Awesome Kong w/Mystery Woman

Kong attacks during the intro and Kim fires off with chops. Kim escapes a charge and eats a back fist and goes to the floor. Kong follows and slams Kim into the steel steps. Up the ramp they brawl, and Kong chokes her out with her leg. Kim dives off of the ramp onto Kong, but Kong catches her and slams her into the side of the ramp. A whip into the wall and Kong is in control. Kong sets up Kim, charges and MISSES and flies through the wall of the stage! And we’ll head to a commercial @ 2:00.

Back from commercial @ 5:20 with Kong in control. Vader body splash by Kong, grabs Kim and sets her up top. Kim BITES her and then gets a tornado DDT! 1…2…NO! Rights by Kim, she goes up top and gets the backsplash for a close 2! Kim fires up, kicks away at the mystery woman and goes up top…leaps and gets caught in the chokeslam! 1…2…NO! Irish whip, Kim sidesteps and delivers forearm shots to Kong. Kong with a boot and gets a double under hook gourd buster! 1…2…NO! Kong goes for the bomb, Kim escapes and delivers forearm shots. A dropkick connects, Kim to the 2nd rope, RANA try stopped into a POWERBOMB by Kong! ANOTHER! AND NOW THE KONG BOMB CONNECTS~! 1…2…3!

Winner and NEW KNOCKOUTS CHAMPION AWESOME KONG @ 9:03 via pin

People know I wasn’t happy about this being on TV, but the main reason isn’t JUST because it was on TV. The main reason is that it was on TV with no build. I mean, at least give them a week of build so that they can make it important. Like the video deal with Angle and others putting over the match. You announce it this week and then run a TON of those over the course of this show and the next leading to the match, it is common sense and makes it more important. Anyway, I have to mention that I loved that the ladies got the main event spot, if they had to do it on TV, they had to do that to add the importance factor. As for the match itself, we only got 6-mintes of it, but what we got was good. That’s another reason I was hesitant to have them put this on TV, they get 9-minutes but lose three to commercial. They worked hard as always and what we saw rocked, but the commercial makes it hard to rate.
Rating: **½

-Closing wrap up video runs.

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