411’s WWE Raw Report 02.28.05

BACKGROUND MATERIAL

Randle has 95% of your recommended daily dose of Hulkamania.

Happy birthday Csonka!

Nute returns with a vengeance and the Burning Hammer.

Kent has a VIOLENT PANDA live review of the WACKY first night of the Chikara Tag World Grand Prix.

Fried enjoys a Mike Kruel appearance.

David Campbell has some wacky Ivory escapades.

P-nasty has something I never saw in my 14 months of recapping Heat: Coach in the main event.

And one of these days I’m gonna take one of Mike Campbell‘s bargain puro love recommendations. Maybe not this week’s, though.

And hop into the forums and the live Raw thread to talk about the goings-on as they happen.

Sounds like a doozy of a show tonight, so let’s do it.

411’s WWE RAW REPORT – 02.28.05

Intro video.

Kudos once again to WWE’s production department, who put together a nice recap of Batista’s emotional decision.

Time to play the game. Yup, we start cold with Triple H alone in his ring gear with the belt. By the way, we’re LIVE from Providence, Rhode Island, and JR and King are your hosts. It’s a night of retribution! What kind of retribution does HHH have in mind after the shocking development last week on Raw that saw Batista turn on him? King can’t believe Batista foiled HHH’s plan. HHH’s ‘stache is quite pronounced now.

He has the stick, but he pauses to listen to the “Batista” chants and look at all the rather elaborate signage in the crowd. After staring out there, and the crowd shots show us about a bajillion Batista signs (smart stuff), HHH decides to speak his mind.

“Is there one person in this arena that thinks for one second that I am afraid of Batista?”

Massive pop. JR is impressed. Another pause.

“Then I guess you think that at Wrestlemania, Batista is going to beat me to become the World Heavyweight Champion.” They agree again.

“Let me remind you who I am.” Here we go again. “I am Triple H. I AM THE GAME! I AM THE BEST IN THIS BUSINESS, AND THAT IS NOT A DAMN CATCH PHRASE; THAT IS NOT SOMETHING MADE UP TO SELL T-SHIRTS OR TO PUT ASSES IN SEATS. That, my friends, is a FACT. PLAIN AND SIMPLE. FACT. Don’t believe it? Look around. Check it out for yourselves. Look high. Look low. There is not a person on the face of God’s green earth that can do what I do in this ring better than ME. And now – and NOW – because he sat under the learning tree for two years, Batista is the guy? Let me tell you something about Batista. Batista is a child. He is a three-hundred-pound child. And in this ring, I am his father. That’s right. To Batista, I hold all the answers. But now, suddenly, the boy thinks he has what it takes to beat a man. Let me tell you what a father does when his boy tries him. He slaps him down! He beats some sense into the ingrate son. He teaches him a lesson that he will never forget. And Batista, you’ve been doing good. You’re on a roll. You’ve been doing real good. But Batista, at Wrestlemania, I am gonna teach you the difference between doing good and being good.” He drops the mic.

And this brings out The Hurricane?

HHH attacks before the bell and tosses Hurricane into the ringsteps repeatedly. Then he gets mounted punches – “piston-like,” quoth JR – to the head. HHH drags Hurricane up the ramp. In the middle of the ramp, HHH gets the double-underhook and tells the crowd the Pedigree is coming for about 15 seconds. Then he hits it. HHH reenters the ring and grabs the stick. Was that a match? It lasted about (1:10) and I guess HHH won by countout, if you care.

“BATISTA! BATISTA! YOUR LESSON STARTS TONIGHT! You walk through that door, your ass is mine! You step foot in this arena, I am gonna beat you within an inch of your life! You know why? Because I’m that… damn… good.” Off-the-charts intensity from the H’s.

Out he goes. He poses at the top of the ramp.

Ad Break.

Match #1: Chris Benoit vs Muhammad Hassan (w/ Khosrow Daivari)

The night of retribution continues. This match was made when Benoit challenged Hassan last week. Daivari gives Hassan some last-minute advice before he enters the ring. USA chant. By the way, Batista is a mere matter of minutes away. Benoit gets the edge in the corner and kicks away. Benoit reverses a whip and gets a running back elbow. Benoit hits a snap suplex. Benoit gets a hard chop. Another hard chop. In the corner, Benoit gets more brawling, but Hassan comes back with kneelifts. Benoit gets kicks anyway and a chop. Back suplex by Benoit. Daivari’s vocal ability is amazing. Hassan reverses a whip and gets a back elbow. Benoit pops right back up with rights. Benoit gets a whip, but lowers his head. Hassan kicks him, but Benoit goes for the crossface! Daivari gets on the apron, and Benoit the veteran chases him right into a clothesline from Hassan. Hassan drives him back-first into the edge of the ring. Hassan uses a blatant choke, but “Vigilant” Mike Chioda doesn’t put up with that for long. Hassan gets a front chancery with shots to the back, then a suplex for two. Hassan goes to a chinlock. Benoit fights up to his feet and gets a chop, but Hassan reverses a whip into the corner, gets a shot to the back, and hits his back suplex into a backbreaker. It gets two. Hassan gets a snapmare and a bodyscissors. Somebody’s been training with Chris Masters, I see. Hassan gets a chinlock too. Benoit fights the pain. Daivari yells at Chioda that Benoit said he quitted, but nobody puts one over on Chioda. Benoit turns it over and gets hard mounted punches to break, then runs the ropes and gets a schoolboy for two. Benoit gets a backslide out of nowhere for two. But Hassan hits a kneelift and tries the suplex again. Benoit sneaks out the back door – double-leg takedown and he tries the Sharpshooter, but Hassan kicks out. Benoit ducks a clothesline and a German connects! And a second. Hassan gets to the ropes and holds on for dear life. He elbows out, and Benoit’s head hits Chioda’s. Chioda is out! Hassan is handed the ring bell by Daivari, but Benoit suplexes him out of nowhere! Benoit goes up with the diving headbutt! But it hits the ring bell! Or did it? Crowd is confused and so am I. Daivari removes the bell from the ring, and Hassan covers for two. Benoit keeps the forearms going. And a series of chops. He tries another German, but Hassan blatantly kicks him in the crotch, drawing a DQ from Chioda.

Winner: Chris Benoit via disqualification (6:23)

Hassan’s first loss, a DQ? I guess he hasn’t been pinned or made to submit yet, but that was a curious result. JR insists that this was not the way Benoit wanted to beat Hassan, so I’d guess that something went awry. The match was solid, though.

Later tonight, it’ll be Edge vs Shawn Michaels, and Batista’s almost here. He’s gonna be present tonight.

Ad Break.

Wrestlemania 21 is 34 days away, and the Hall of Fame induction ceremony is only 33 days away! And another inductee is going to be announced… right now!

Class of 2005
“Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff
Iron Sheik
Nikolai Volkoff
“Cowboy” Bob Orton
Jimmy Hart
“Rowdy” Roddy Piper
and just announced… the immortal Hulk Hogan!

JR says nobody deserves to be in the Hall any more than Hulk Hogan, maybe the greatest star in WWE history.

Batista is here! And Batista is walking! And business has just picked up. Jonathan Coachman informs him that HHH said he’d beat him within an inch of his life. Batista is absolutely terrified. He asks whether HHH was mad and fired up when he said it. Coach says yes. So Batista says he’ll thank him for unleashing the animal.

Ric Flair tells Triple H, in their locker room, that Batista’s here. Flair suggests beating Batista up. HHH says he has a better idea.

Ad Break.

It’s snowing out. It’s definitely not hot out. And the first name that comes to mind when you say “hot” is Christy Hemme, of course, so here’s a retrospective of her short WWE career so far and her trip to Playboy. Everybody there loved her, and she’s very pleased with how it turned out.

Match #2: Shelton Benjamin vs Gene Snitsky
Intercontinental Championship

We get highlights of Shelton’s hard chairshot to the head of Snitsky. If he gets disqualified tonight, he loses his belt. Well then. Is the third time going to be the charm? Let’s find out. They lock up. Snitsky shoves Shelton hard into the corner, but charges into a chop and a barrage of righits. Snitsky reverses a whip, but lowers his head. Shelton tries a sunset flip, but Snitsky chokes him and gets a two-handed choke lift. Shelton breaks, but runs right into a rather unorthodox tilt-a-whirl slam. Snitsky goes to the dreaded keylock, but Shelton elbows out and runs the ropes. He runs into a picture-perfect powerslam. Snitsky yells something and goes for the Meltdown! Shelton sneaks out the back door and hits an inverted DDT for two. Shelton runs the ropes, but Snitsky gets a cross body block and puts Shelton down. Then Shelton runs right into a boot to the face. Snitsky heads out and slams Shelton hard into the security wall as the zero-tolerance rule comes into play. Snitsky pounds his chest and gets a chair. Genius! He misses on purpose as Shelton ducks, and gets hit with a dropkick to the back of the head. Out goes the chair. Well, he tried. Snitsky gets a whip and a kneelift, anyway. Snitsky gets a whip and tries a backdrop, but Shelton reverses to a gorgeous tornado DDT! Stinger splash connects, and that’s MISTER Exploder! Three count, and Shelton has finally beat Snitsky clean.

Winner: Shelton Benjamin via pinfall (2:55)

Smackdown magazine presents the Smackdown Rebound, in which JBL celebrates the longest title reign since 1994 and says how great he is, talking down John Cena in the process, which draws Big Show out to cause problems, and later Cena himself to whack JBL over the head with a portrait of himself.

There is a MAJOR Wrestlemania 21 announcement coming up soon. It’s gonna be MAJOR – next!

Ad Break.

JR & King have yet another announcement:

At Wrestlemania 21, the Rowdiest man in WWE history is back! Piper’s Pit will return, and his guest will be… Stone Cold Steve Austin! Two controversial figures in the same place with live mics? Wild.

In the ring already is someone; I can’t quite make out who. And you know what that means…

Match #3: Chris “The Masterpiece” Masters vs a jobber (no entrance)

King promises Masters will do some damage in WWE – if you don’t believe him, just ask Stevie Richards. Stevie’s nose was broken by the Polish hammer to the head. It also broke his orbital bone. JR calls Masters’ opponent This Young Man, and I don’t know who he is either, so that’s what his name is for the purposes of this match, I guess. Exclusive WWE.com footage shows just what happened to Stevie. Masters attacks before the bell. He gets mounted offense. Masters gets a bodyslam. Young Man gets some punches, but falls victim to the Polish hammer and the dreaded full nelson. He taps quickly.

Winner: Chris Masters via submission (1:16)

Masters celebrates. JR heads down for an interview.

And we get a plug for Be Cool. Cool.

Ad Break.

We get the recap of Batista’s decision again. Hey, why not?

Jim Ross is in the ring, and he asks us to welcome the #1 contender and the man who will face HHH at Wrestlemania: Batista!

Here’s Dave. He subtly blows a kiss to the crowd whil eposing in the corners.

JR’s question is simple: Why stay on Raw to face HHH at Wrestlemania?

The answer is simple: ever since he joined Evolution, Raw was about one man, HHH. He never minded; it didn’t bother him. When Randy Orton won the belt, it was all about HHH. When Batista won the Royal Rumble, it was still all about HHH. So last week, Batista had a decision. He could go to Smackdown and make Raw about HHH, or stay on Raw and do something about it. He chose to do something about it. As the song goes, it’s all about the game and how you play it. Last week, the game got played.

JR asks, now that Batista’s made his decision, whether he has second thoughts. “JR, do I look like I have any second thoughts?” Ever since he won, he knew he was staying on the #1 show, Monday Night Raw, and he knew there was one person he wanted to face and beat. Pause. [“Batista!”] He gives HHH credit for being the best in the business and maybe the best there’s ever been, a 10-time champ. But the fact is, Batista is bigger, better and smarter. “It’s real simple. All it is is evolution.” At this moment, HHH might be the man, and to be the man you gotta beat the man, but at WM21 – “HHH, I will beat you, and officially become the man.”

Time to play the game. Triple H is here, this time with Ric Flair. Batista immediately removes his jacket. So does Flair. HHH is still in his ring gear. Batista unbuttons his shirt. HHH whispers instructions to Flair. Batista stands in the ring and dares either one to join him. Boty men get on the apron. They both start to enter. Batista acts scared, then clotheslines Flair and dares HHH to face him. HHH backs off. As Flair slowly gets up, HHH backs out of the ring altogether. So Flair gets whipped, and Batista hits the big spinebuster. HHH gets on the apron, but can’t bring himself to go throuh the ropes. He takes a step through when Batista backs off a bit. Huge “Batista” chant. HHH backs back out when Batista walks toward him. HHH says something that is probably utterly damning, but I can’t hear it. Batista gives him the thumbs-down and spikes Flair with the DAVEBOMB. HHH looks on in anger and jumps up and down repeatedly. He gets back on the apron, then looks at Batista again. “Come on!” HHH doesn’t oblige. He backs out, so Batista gives him the thumbs-down and watches him walk back up the ramp. HHH gets his belt and shows it off, as Batista poses in the corner. Flair gets destroyed and HHH doesn’t do anything to help him? Well, at least HHH convulses on the ramp in anger to show that he won’t stand for this kind of punishment being dished out to Flair.

And Shawn Michaels will still face Edge in a street fight later tonight.

Ad Break.

Backstage, Triple H complains to Eric Bischoff that nobody may treat Flair like that, so Batista will get his ass kicked. Bischoff says that it remains to be seen. Next week, it’ll be Batista vs Flair with HHH in Flair’s corner to make sure that Batista gets what’s coming to him. The match is in… Raleigh? That’s got bad idea written all over it.

Match #4: Chris Jericho vs Maven

Where’s Maven been? Oh, on Heat. They lock up and Jericho gets a punch and a series of kicks. Jericho kicks away in the corner. Jericho brings the chops. Cross-corner whip, but Jericho charges into an elbow. Jericho gets a clothesline, though. Kneelift, and Jericho hits his front suplex onto the top rope. Then he uses the springboard dropkick to send Maven outside. Jericho sends Maven into the security wall, and then back into the ring. Hard soccer kick by Jericho. He uses a whip into the corner, but Maven DUCKS THE BULLDOG and flapjacks Jericho into the top turnbuckle! Maven rubs Jericho’s face into the canvas and stomps hard. Maven chokes Jericho on the second rope. Maven lines up a running dropkick, but charges into an elbow, and Jericho gets a pair of shoulderblocks and the running enzuigiri. Maven lands on the second rope, so Jericho tries his running knee… but Maven ducks that! Jericho goes up with a flying elbow anyway, and blocks a dropkick with the Walls. Maven taps.

Winner: Chris Jericho via submission (3:26)

Jericho gets the stick. “I came out here with an example tonight, to make a statement. And the reason is that Wrestlemania 21 is less than five weeks away.” We’ve made some big matches. Batista/HHH! Cena/JBL! Michaels challenged Angle! Austin! Hogan! Everyone wants to make an impact. So does he. Everyone wants to be a part of history. So does he. He has an idea for a match: himself and five other elite WWE superstars. A chance of a lifetime, too – and most importantly, one very big solid steel ladder. Jericho’s got a gleam in his eye and stops there. Play his music!

Christy Hemme’s cover will be unveiled – next.

Ad Break.

JBL and Cena in A Few Good Men! “Colonel, why were the Bashams at ringside?” … “You want answers? You can’t handle the truth!” … “Did you order outside interference?” “YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT I DID!” Awesome.

Christy Hemme is here. It’s a very exciting night in her career. She wouldn’t be here or have the opportunity to pose for Playboy if it weren’t for the fans, and for that she is sincerely thankful. Aww. But tonight, she’s really proud to show the whole world a new side of Christy Hemme.

And the cover is revealed! But Trish Stratus crashes the party, angry that Christy is trying to steal her spotlight. Trish is getting pissed off. But it’s a special night, because she can make an exception for a Playboy cover. But Trish thinks something about it is wrong, because she’s clearly not a champ, so she spraypaints out the headline that says “champion diva” in it. And she gets a slap for it, so Trish hits the big high kick and spraypaints “SLUT” in big red letters, nWo-style, on Christy’s back! Pop for that. JR apologizes as Trish heads backstage.

Ad Break.

We run through the 2005 Hall of Fame class again, including Hulk Hogan.

Backstage, Stacy & Candice talk to Superstar Billy Graham about how huge Hulk’s induction is. Randy Orton walks in and asks to talk to Billy. The ladies leave. Superstar says that last year, Randy did a great job in taking out Mick Foley. But he suggests doing something unique and original, just like Superstar Billy Graham, the man of the hour, the man with the power, too sweet to be sour, and so on. Unique! Special! Where no wrestler has ever gone before!

Randy: “That was actually exactly what I was thinking.” He reveals that he’s been reading Smackdown magazine… featuring Undertaker on the cover, with the headline “Legacy on the Line.”

Edge‘s streetfight is next. Maria asks how he’s feeling. He’s stunned that she’s not overlooking him just like everyone else. Well, last time Shawn overlooked him, he LOST, and tonight’s a streetfight in which Edge can take out every frustration he’s ever had since he broke his neck. Last week, he missed the conchairto – tonight, HE DOESN’T MISS. Tonight, he’s gonna make sure that HBK doesn’t even make it to Wrestlemania.

Streetfight – next!

Ad Break.

Earlier tonight, it was announced that Stone Cold Steve Austin will appear in Piper’s Pit at Wrestlemania 21!

Next week in Raleigh:
– Batista vs Ric Flair

Match #5: Edge vs Shawn Michaels
Street Fight

They jump each other right away. Both guys are in jeans with belts. Shawn atkes his off immediately and whips Edge with it a few times. Shawn wraps the belt around his fist and knocks Edge down with it twice. Edge writhes in pain. Shawn gets a whip and a backdrop. And he clotheslines Edge out of the ring. That was fast. Senior Official Earl Hebner gives him instructions. Shawn punches Edge over the security wall. They brawl into the crowd. They trade chops, and Shawn tosses Edge back over the wall and towards the ring again. Michaels snaps a picture of Edge with a camera from a stagehand, then gets a right and a trash can. Shawn drills Edge with the can to the head. Shawn gets the ladder and oh-oh, Jericho didn’t mention a ladder earlier tonight, didn’t he? Shawn sets the ladder up, but Edge sneaks in with the trash can lid to the face out of nowhere, and Edge gets a series of punches to the face as he looks longingly at the ladder. Edge slams Shawn face-first into the apron and puts him back into the ring. He gets a chair from underneath. Edge gets the soccer kick, with street boots, no less, and sets up the chair. But he walks into a hard chop that knocks him down. Edge gets a kick and tries the Edgecution onto the chair – “blocked” – but the second try connects, and Shawn goes facefirst off the chair. Shawn rebounds out of the ring, and oh… no, Shawn just pulled the trigger on a VERY manly bladejob. Let’s go to an Ad Break! (4:16)

Ad Break ends (7:20)

We get another shot of the Edgecution onto the chair. “Michaels has lost a great deal of blood.” Edge reverses a whip, but Shawn gets a running kneelift and a clothesline. Holy moly, Shawn is beet red. He gets the ladder. He tries to set it up, but Edge dropkicks it into Shawn’s face! That gets two. Edge goes up top. Slowly. So Shawn throws the ladder at him, and Edge falls out of the ring to the floor. Shawn charges with a tope suicida, and lands on top of Edge. He puts him back in. Shawn has the ladder, and positions it in the corner parallel to the ropes. He whips Edge into it, but Edge stops himself, and Shawn runs into a drop toe hold into the ladder! Ouch. Edge immediately goes for the cover and gets two. Edge gets the ladder back and stands it up near the corner. Edge limps over and bodyslams Shawn. Edge looks at the ladder and decides to climb it. Big Superfly splash connects! He covers for two! [“HBK!”] HHH gets a chair, but walks directly into a double-leg takedown! Shawn catapults him into the ladder. Shawn rolls over a few times in the direction of the chair, and grabs it. And he just PLASTERS Edge with it! That was a sick shot. Edge is out. Shawn flops in the ring as Hebner heads outside to check on Edge. Edge reaches under the ring, though… and finds a Kendo stick. Shawn staggers to his feet and ducks the shot! Shawn fires away the chops. Edge reverses a whip, but Edge gets the flying forearm! He kips up! Manhattan drop. Hard right hand. Bodyslam! Shawn is going nuts! And now he has the stick. Hard shot to the head pretty much breaks it. Up goes Shawn. Flying elbow connects! Michaels is hurt. But he staggers up to his feet and gets in a corner. Off goes the shirt! He tunes up the band. Sweet Chin Music is ducked, and Edge DRILLS Shawn in the nuts with the narrow side of a chair! YES! More people should do that. It’s quiet, subtle, and renders your opponent absolutely immobile for at least half a minute. Edge lines Shawn’s head up on top of a chair, and he’s going for the one-man Conchairto! But Shawn saves himself with a low blow out of nowhere. Well, actually, it wasn’t really out of nowhere. Edge was kind of just stalling and standing there. Now Shawn gets one of the chairs. But he runs into the Spear! One… two… NO! Edge is going nuts. Edge lines up another spear. JR puts over Edge’s ridiculous obsession with winning this match. Edge tunes up the band, and tries the spear… but runs right into the superkick. One… two… three!

Winner: Shawn Michaels via pinfall (18:09)

But wait… it’s KURT FREAKIN’ ANGLE! Out of the crowd! He gets a belly-to-belly overhead suplex! “You suck!” Mounted punches from Angle. Angle stomps on the ground. OLYMPIC SLAM! And he spits on Shawn. “Shawn Michaels, as far as your challenge at Wrestlemania is concerned, I accept.” And he bounces the mic off the ground.

Security runs in, so Angle decides to head into the crowd. He stops to stare at Michaels, and we’re out. Good stuff.

See you next week.