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411’s WWE Smackdown Report 02.03.06

February 4, 2006 | Posted by Scott Fried

Teddy Long opens the show, announcing Angle versus Undertaker for No Way Out. He goes on to introduce Royal Rumble winner Rey Mysterio. Rey comes out in a Low Rider, then head into the ring and thanks Eddie. He talks about the title, and about Eddie pulling a joke on him by making him number 2, until Orton interrupts. Orton challenges Rey to a match at No Way Out for the number one contendership. Orton goes on to make some comments which I’m not going to repeat, and Rey beats him down until the referees pull him off.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: MNM © versus The Mexicools

Nitro grabs Psychosis in a headlock. He gets shot off, but comes back with a shoulder. Psychosis flips him over, then grabs Nitro in a headlock. Psychosis gets shot off and comes back with a stomp, then tags Super Crazy. Double pancake, moonsault/legdrop. MNM goes outside, where Psychosis hits a springing moonsault. Super Crazy vaults out over the referee as we cut to a break. Back on, Psychosis misses a kick to the corner and falls out of the ring. Mercury gets a vertical suplex for two. He whips Psychosis to the corner and tags Nitro. They stomp away, then get a double back elbow. Melina gets a legscissor hold on Psychosis. Mercury gets a backbreaker for two. Tag to Nitro, who works on Psychosis’s lower back. He applies a VELOCITY LOCK! Psychosis tries to fight out, but Nitro rams him to the corner. Psychosis fights against both guys, but Nitro tags Mercury. Double slam gets two. Psychosis avoids a neckbreaker, pushing Mercury to thie rope and knocking Melina off the apron. Psychosis gets a dropkick, then tags Super Crazy. He gets dropkicks on all, then a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on Mercury. He flips Nitro onto Mercury, then gets a standing moonsault for a long two. Crazy gets a Tornado DDT for two. Crazy goes up top, but Melina hits him with her boot. This allows Mercury to get the pin.

Winners: MNM
Match Time: 10:12 (including commercial)
Rating: ***
Commentary: Some good action, but it only got really good towards the end.

Booker and Sharmell are backstage, and Booker is still injured. Teddy Long makes him pick a substitute to face Benoit tonight… one who will be defending the title.

JBL is in the ring complaining. He compares himself to Thesz, Brisco (he makes sure to let us know that’s Jack, not Jerry), and Mascaras. He rants about how he’s tired of bodybuilder guys trying to get a rub from him. He seems to be ripping off The Rock and Jerry Lee Lewis simultaneously. Lashley heads out, ready for his match.

Lashley versus Chad Dick

Dick attacks Lashley from behind, then hits a dropkick. Lashley fights back with a huge German Suplex, then slams both Dicks. He soon hits the Dominator for the win. Post-match, JBL nails the Clothesline from Hell.

Winner: Lashley
Match Time: 0:57
Rating: ½*
Commentary: Just a squash.

Backstage, one midget lifts up another so he can drink from a water fountain.

The Undertaker materializes and heads out to the ring. No horse, but he’s got a microphone. Angle has the one thing he desires- no, it’s not a snazzy singlet, it’s the World Heavyweight Championship. Angle heads out and meets The Undertaker in the ring. Angle cuts a pretty straightforward promo on Taker, not resorting to heel insults or tomfoolery. He won’t rest in peace, he’ll break Taker’s ankle in pieces. Undertaker tells Angle he’ll rest in peace. So there’s a difference of opinion going on. The lights go out, blue lights come on, and Taker’s gone. No doubt he reappeared in a truck stop somewhere along the American southwest, nodding to a passerby and disappearing once again before the man could take a second glance.

Tzuki versus Octagoncito

The long-awaited return. Octagoncito kicks Tuzki. Tzuki reverses a whip and dropkicks Octagoncito out of the ring. Tzuki follows up with a somersault hilo. Back inside, Octagoncito hits a drop toe hold and a low dropkick. Gorilla Press Slam by Octagocito. Slam, and Octagoncito goes to the second rope. He nails an elbow drop. Tzuki dodges a croner charge and this a dropkick. He gets a bodyscissors into an armdrag, then a headscissors. Octagoncito fights back, but Tzuki gets a sunset flip for two. Tzuki gets a crossbody from the top, then an armdrag. A crucifix on the mat gets the win.

Winner: Tzuki
Match Time: 2:59
Rating: **1/2
Commentary: Points for effort, and for giving Max Mini a win. Not bad, really.

Chris Benoit is doing squats backstage when Kennedy interrupts him. He reminds Benoit of his recent string of losses. He also says that he knows who Benoit’s opponent is, and it’ll be the toughest break of all. Benoit doesn’t give a damn, then threatens Kennedy. Chris Benoit is my single favorite thing in the wrestling world today.

WWE U.S. Championship Match: Fit Finlay (defending) versus Chris Benoit

Benoit against Booker’s subs is getting irritating, but if it leads to the mother of all blowoffs, so be it. Lockup to start, and Finlay backs Benoit into the corner. Break, and Finlay gets a waistlock. He grabs Benoit’s trap as Booker gets on commentary. Finlay hits a hard elbow, then a big slam. Benoit fights back with chops, but Finlay scoops his leg out and tries for a keylock. Benoit takes Finlay down, but he fights back with hard shots and a butt slam. Booker talks about how the original best of seven was for Finlay’s TV Title. Finlay grabs a wristlock, then pulls Benoit down by the hair. Benoit gets up and fights back, backing him to the corner and hitting some chops. Finlay hits a nasty forearm (nasty in the best of ways, of course), then a European Uppercut. He pulls Benoit out onto the apron and gets some elbows. Back in, Benoit gets a really hard chop, then some more. He punches on Finlay in the corner, then slams him to the turnbuckle. Another European Uppercut takes Benoit down. Finlay gets an elbow drop, then applies a Camel Clutch. Benoit gets up and out, then hits the Rolling Germans. Benoit goes up top as Booker gets up. The distraction lets Finlay hit a running shoulder and a short clothesline. He whips Benoit to the corner and hits another shoulder. Benoit tries to apply the crossface, but Sharmell hits Benoit with a crutch for the DQ. Booker and Finlay do a beatdown on Benoit.

Winner: Chris Benoit
Match Time: 5:59
Rating: **3/4
Commentary: Nothing too special. Things never really got the time to go anywhere.

Krystal is backstage with mark Henry and Daivari. Daivari talks about the cheating Angle did at the Rumble, then grabs the microphone and promises revenge tonight.

Booker thanks Finlay backstage, but The Boogeyman appears behind him. They turn around when they hear his laughter, and scream. He delivers his line, and Booker and Sharmell run.

Josh Mathews is backstage with Gregory Helms- he is the Cruiserweight division, he says. Nunzio interrupts and threatens Helms for his bragging. The match is made for next week. Good microphone work from both guys.

Long and Canon are backstage with Regal and Burchill. They don’t want to tag anymore. Regal’s ancestors are nobility, they say, but Burchill’s are pirates. He’s quite proud of that. In fact, he wants “Swashbucklin’ on Smackdown” he shakes Regal’s hand and leaves. Regal speculates that Burchill comes from a long line of proctologists.

Mark Henry and Randy Orton versus Rey Mysterio and Kurt Angle

The match has begun as we come back from commercial. Angle is starting with Orton, but Orton wants Rey. Angle obliges. Rey ducks a clothesline and beats on Orton in the corner. Orton pulls him into the buckle, then whips him. Rey grabs the ropes and kicks Orton, then takes him over the top with a headscissors. Rey gets a senton outside the ring, then goes up top back inside. Orton crotches him, then tags Mark Henry. Henry kicks Rey, then picks him up and drops him down. He steps on Rey’s face. Henry chokes Rey, then steps on him. Tag to Orton, who gets the awkward kneedrop. Orton punches Rey about the chest, then covers him for two. Tag to Henry, who stomps Rey’s gut. Henry covers for two. He hits a forearm to Rey’s back, then stands on him. Tag to Orton, and Rey fights back. Orton gets a dropkick for two. Orton whips Rey to the corner, but misses a shoulder and hits the post. Tags on both sides, and Angle beats on Henry. Henry reverses a whip to the corner, but Angle dodges a charge and applies the Ankle Lock. Henry powers out, but Angle hits the Angle Slam. He goes back to the Ankle Lock, but breaks it when Orton runs it. He puts it on Orton, but Henry hits a low blow. Orton pulls Angle to the center of the ring and hits a kneedrop. He drives his knee into Orton’s face. Angle fights back, but Orton takes over and tags Henry. Tazz compares Orton and Henry to the Hart Foundation. Henry gets a headbutt, then slams Angle on the ropes. Henry whips Angle to the stairs on the outside, then rolls him in and tags Orton. Orton comes in with a European Uppercut. Uppercuts are traded, but Orton gets an eye rake. He applies a chinlock (no, really!). Angle gets up and hits a German Suplex. Angle tags Rey, who comes in with a senton on Orton. He nails the bodyscissors bulldog, then gets punches. Orton nails a clothesline. Rey hits a quebrada. Orton catches him, but Rey slides out, sends him to the ropes, and hits the 619. Mark Henry nails Rey. Angle knocks Henry off the apron, then sends him into the post on the outside. In a move that makes NO sense, Angle chases Daivari off through the crowd. In a move that makes even less sense, Henry walks off after then. Back in the ring, Orton gets some punches. Rey hits a back elbow, then gets a sunset flip. Orton sits down on it for the win.

Winners: Randy Orton and Mark Henry
Match Time: 12:54
Rating: ***1/4
Commentary: Decent action, though Mark Henry’s stuff got really repetitive really fast.

Post-match, Orton says some stuff that rivals his opening comments in terms of tastelessness, and Rey agrees to put his title shot on the line.

Overall, a decent show sullied by some really repulsive shit.

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Scott Fried

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